My vagine is itching like mad.

[BupcakesandCunting]

Namechanged for obvious reasons. :(

My minge is itching like buggery. No discharge/whiffiness, just a very itchy vulva (as per namechange ) Have done a Caneten pessary on saturday and been applying the cream but nothing is working.

Suggestions please? And don't say "wash yer minge"

Me too, lissie. I've only had the standard 'put it before the committee' email.

Ditto, tis shocking! I mean, it has everything. Namechange fail, cunt worms, out of date yogurt, peter andre's penis and a zillion words for muff!

Oh, another limerick

There was a young man called pete
He shocked everyone he did meet
His bright purple cock
Came as a shock
That he's not orange right down to his feet.

Ditto, tis shocking! I mean, it has everything. Namechange fail, cunt worms, out of date yogurt, peter andre's penis and a zillion words for muff!

Oh, another limerick

There was a young man called pete
He shocked everyone he did meet
His bright purple cock
Came as a shock
That he's not orange right down to his feet.

Knew it was you when I saw the word 'Vagine'

You need this

arf at "culinary freshness"

I suspect it's one foreskin rotation too far to make classics. wusses

Bump, bump, bumpitty bump.

I said bump, bump, bumpitty bump.

How I met your mother!

is that what you've schedulEd for the weekend, Stratters?

It is lissie.

Not got that far yet Tag, I will keep you all updated. I'm a strictly 'after quite a few, we are going somewhere, dates' sort of person.

Also there are 3 in pole position, and I can't choose.

I used to have a 12 week rule.

until I met someone I really fancied and got drunk on sambuca's

I can understand that.

used to have a 12 hour rule.

Ahem

i was kidding, didnt mean to kill thread

I feel 3-5 dates is about right. Any advances on that?

went off to microwave cook dinner
I used to not shave for dates, so I would have to behave.

now I just dont shave.

I was all set to do that on the MrPlanes Date No.1. But I was persuaded otherwise.

I still wore big knickers though. That worked.

yeah, I think any sooner you could regret it.

i was 23 and dating this bloke who was 21. he was very sweet and enthusiastic. flowers delivered to work, always phoned when he said he would etc. 10 weeks in, I found out he was just about to turn 18. that was him done.

another fellow was gorgeous and I really liked him. we'd been seeing each other for 9 weeks, I had decided to sleep with him, night before the big night I went out for dinner with some friends and saw him with a pregnant woman. went over all bouncy and naive "hi, surprised to see you here!" he went grey "lissie, this is x, my wife."

fucker.

I make sure I get all their phone numbers. If anyone said 'don't ring between X and Y' I'd ditch them, unless they have a damn good unweddingish reason.

yeah, looking back, it was fairly obvious. he gave me his mobile, but then I only had a mobile at that time, so it didnt seem odd. what did seem odd was the fact that he was only ever out on a friday night, straight from work. but I was young and stupid naive.

luckily I wasn't naive enough to believe him when he came into the bar the next day while I was working and told me that he had fallen for me, but couldnt leave until the baby was born in case she miscarried.

I told him that if he didnt fuck off, I would get the chef out of the kitchen and the bouncer off the door. one would cut off his limp and useless todger, the other would dump him in the river.

I met a guy through online dating, we exchanged a few emails and agreed to meet up to walk our dogs in the park (top tip, you can make the date as long or as short as you like!) He said Hi and leaned in to kiss my cheek and trod on my dog. That was him done. Oaf.

Is this thread still going? Are you still itching? Have you any foo foo left to scratch?

It sort of made the talk round-up.

fair play to aitch, it is too dirty to make the round up proper. but at least it got a mention