Oh. My toaster has gone missing.

[CauldronsTrulyReign]

There's just a big gap on the work surface well, besides some crumbs.

What the actual croissant?

HA! Olivia!

I luffs this thread

Cauldrons

Have you looked for a tunnel?

My patience is wearing very thin

Wait. This week's talk round up has already been issued. So are you going to hold the poor toaster for another week??!

"Randsom note (AKA my demands)

500g naice ham
Orla Kiely handbag
Boden catalogue
Cold sancerre
Babyliss Big Hair
Shred DVD"

Wibble. Please don't give me to the scary kidnapper. Wibble.

I am going to line all the little Cauldrons up and then start the questioning.

They will 'fess up as soon as they see my fashion sense and elderly mobile phone.

I mean business. I have no shame [nor street cred].

Yes, take someone else. How do you feel about Pinot?

Sarah Stratton would be too feisty as a kidnapee. The kidnappers would give the ransom back and double it.

It's run off with my pastry cutters.

The ones that only have one place they have any business to be, but aren't there. The ones that only I use, because no one else in this house does any baking. The ones that got put back in their place the last time I used them.

I was unreasonably furious when I discovered they'd 'gone'.

There will be no mince pies in this house until they have been located.

Hi Caulds

Just thinking about you and your toastless state. Whatcha bin up to?

[Eyes up the DC's of Cauld with a cold and critical eye]

My mum has contacts at Babyliss. I'll provide the BigHair

Meh, I'm ok, but puzzled.

How the actual friff did a toaster disappear from a locked up house?

And how will I face Kevin McCloud in the morning without my invigorating peppery toast?

Get me my stuff or I start unscrewing!

I'll contribute a chilled bottle of Veltliner in leiu of me. I'd hate you to be toasterless.

I can never remember what SIOB stands for.

Toaster - I bow to your marvelous profile someone- has far too much time on their hands--

you may have my shred DVD - it is pristine in its wrapper.

Cold Sancerre will take one for the team.

I can't offer ham but in the fridge there is some rather fine proscutto.

SIOB!!! Chaos are you seeing Kev tomorrow?

I am licking meeting Kev tomorrow, yus.

But how the actual NorthFace can I do it without my morning constitutional?

thank you, thank you cervix. I was still fretting over SIOB

you are very welcome but i'm not sure why.

Cauldrons pull youself together do you not have a grill?