Oh. My toaster has gone missing.

[CauldronsTrulyReign]

There's just a big gap on the work surface well, besides some crumbs.

What the actual croissant?

Again, IHYT - if you want a ransom, prove you have the toaster!

My phone has learnt the word 'toasternapping'.

Methought the toaster has been returned.

IHYT hasn't the balls for this kidnapping malarkey. Clearly just stuck in the middle of something.....

Ready for biscuits dunked in yoghurt!

We're nearly there. But we're not handing over the ransom until we see Chaos.

I thought the toaster was back too, hence wanting proof.

I might have decorated her up a bit....

Oops

As long as she's in one piece we don't mind her being orange. Or pumpkinny.

Oh I think I see you. This is me

We see you. Where's Chaos?

Why have you carved out Chaos head that wasn't in the deal

Mmppff mmpfff mmppfff!

Yummy biscuits. Oh look! Is that a NetMum invasion?

Transaction complete. Chaos is free and no longer under my power. Whether she chooses to break free of her nipple tassels shackles and go forth is up to her.

Hungrydragon, you take one hand, I'll take the other. Come on Chaos, you're safe now. Let's get you back to your toaster.

Umm... I... umm... just wanted to say sorry for all this bother. MomOfChaos promised me a lovely holiday if I went quietly. RemoteOfMiddleton, BigLid and GravyBoat needed a break so they came too.

MomOfChaos got distracted by a and Phillipbot snaffled me. Luckilly MomOfChaos saw the glint of light from the sun reflecting off my shiny side and chased him down and got me back home safely.

RemoteOfMiddleton, GravyBoat and BigLid made it to the plane and are now sunning themselves in Malta.

I didn't get my promised holiday

Oh, and by the way IHYC, nipple tassle are de rigueur chez chaos. Not much of a torture really...

Oh Toaster :( How I have discovered this, much to my chagrin.... She tormented me, by giggling delightedly at the offending items, and proceeding to hypnotise me as she swirled them round and round...

I'm glad you're all right ToasterofChaos but next time get MumofChaos to leave a note?

I love a happy ending

It's been an exciting adventure and now I think we all deserve lashings of gingerbeer.

fuck of it's Mnet you know

lets get jolly shit faced on lashings of

I know I have that whole maniacal evil Cauldron-kidnapping thing going on.... But could I have some as well?

Yes, it was your noble donation of the yoghurt that won Chaos her freedom. She's back home with her toaster and her nipple tassels. In light of that they dropped all charges.

Hmm, Merlot I think

Anyway, I'm glad all the charges have been dropped and it's nice to know that the kidnapper let her keep the tassles. Nothing like a free gift to take away the trauma of being kidnapped

Happy endings all round.

Did you take a look at the tassels? Rather tasteful, I feel. Linked upthread.

Thanks awfully! I say, it's jolly decent of you to give an old kidnapper some of the good stuff and let bygones be bygones etc. Gives one the old joie de vivre

What a happy time it has been. If only we had someone poetical to complete our saga with a little ditty.....