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Original poster

Oh. My toaster has gone missing.

653 replies

CauldronsTrulyReign · 07/10/2011 12:50

There's just a big gap on the work surface well, besides some crumbs.

What the actual croissant?

Confused
OP posts:
ScaredTEECat · 09/10/2011 00:26

Downing Street has their own choc chip cookies? Are they signed by GB? Because that's surely worth a billion yen...

crazynannawitchbitch · 09/10/2011 00:27

I have 100 Jamaican dollars you can have. It's about 30p but hey,every little helps Wink

EmpressOfTheVampireSkulls · 09/10/2011 00:30

Thanks crazynanna.

IHTC. Instead of the billion yen would you accept the GB biscuits, the kuna, the dollars and a visit to Mumsnet Towers?

BestisWest · 09/10/2011 00:34

Gawd I love Mumsnet.

IHaveYourToaster · 09/10/2011 02:51

I'll have the biscuits Justine. For services rendered.

IHaveYourCauldrons · 09/10/2011 08:15

Ahem.

I'll take the biscuits and the YeoValley yoghurt

Although I have to say Chaos doesn't seem to want to go anywhere. She's sitting playing with the nipple tassels and swigging Merlot. It's a pretty sight...

IHaveYourCauldrons · 09/10/2011 10:11

No biscuits appear to be forthcoming....

ZombiesAtYourCervix · 09/10/2011 10:15

Can someone give me a synopsis of ToasterGate please. Been at work. Was so worried about the poor toaster I couldn't keep my mind on the job and might have dropped some important things.

EmpressOfTheVampireSkulls · 09/10/2011 10:37

Zombies

Chaos's mum borrowed the toaster for a charity event. The robot Prince Philip, who was at the event, malfunctioned and kidnapped it, leaving a ransom demand. Priscilla Presley, who was also there, realised that Chaos was the lovechild of Elvis and the Queen so got her kidnapped to protect her (P's) inheritance.

Chaos is currently in the power of IHYC.

Think that sums it up (and the first sentence is definitely true!)

EmpressOfTheVampireSkulls · 09/10/2011 10:38

IHYC, will you release her in exchange for the biscuits?

IHaveYourCauldrons · 09/10/2011 10:47

I believe I've made that clear. However there seems to be a) a lack of forthcoming biscuits; and b) a severe lack of wanting to escape on Chaos' part.

She's now happily capitalising all the literature in my lair.

ZombiesAtYourCervix · 09/10/2011 10:54

that makes a whole lot of sense Empress.

I also have some Croatian kuna and some asda smartprice caramel wafers to add to the ransom fund.

ScaredTEECat · 09/10/2011 11:10

Is Croatian Kuna the latest MN must have? Will it be listed on the next Swears By email?

EmpressOfTheVampireSkulls · 09/10/2011 11:14

Thank you Zombies.
IHaveYourToaster, we have no proof that you DO Have the toaster any more.
IHaveYourCauldrons, where do we bring the ransom?

EmpressOfTheVampireSkulls · 09/10/2011 11:16

Hello ScaredTEECat.

Himalaya · 09/10/2011 11:18

So relieved.

ScaredTEECat · 09/10/2011 11:21

Hey Empress! How are you this fine rainy morning?

teahouse · 09/10/2011 11:21

Can young Bill come IHYT?

PS: do you have my packets of risotto rice?

Hungrydragon · 09/10/2011 11:29

Right this is ridiculous! I'm forming a search and rescue team, I'm googling Boden SWAT wear right now.

EmpressOfTheVampireSkulls · 09/10/2011 11:31

TEE hanging out my washing with crossed fingers!
Young Bill? Risotto rice?

IHaveYourCauldrons · 09/10/2011 12:14

Hum. Methinks IHYT has been outed. But not me! Mwahahahaha.

Right.

Bring biscuits and yoghurt to the corner of Knockturn Alley. I'll be in Central Perk reading "Catcher in the Rye".

Hungrydragon · 09/10/2011 12:15

Right I'm off

Chaaoooos I'm coming

IHaveYourCauldrons · 09/10/2011 12:16
EmpressOfTheVampireSkulls · 09/10/2011 12:16

I'm coming too!

IHaveYourCauldrons · 09/10/2011 12:20