Oh. My toaster has gone missing.

[CauldronsTrulyReign]

There's just a big gap on the work surface well, besides some crumbs.

What the actual croissant?

You don't mean it was never missing at all?

Unless that is what Prince Phillip IHaveYourToaster wants you to believe...

Actuslly, I'm a leetle bit proud of the old thing.

It was fulfilling a unfulfilled yen of it's.

Charidee work.

IHYT may or may not be involved.....

Noooooo......

Oh yeah, it was missing, I didn't wake up with Bobby in the shower.

Your neighbour half-hinched it innit?

My mom had borrowed it!

S
I
O
B.

Stop playing with us! Haven't we suffered enough?!

Strange you should say that.

I saw my neighbour at the NEC today, but forgot to mention the overhanging bush that has been tasked to me.

Thanks DH.

Your mum is Prince Philip?

I have just received an e-mail from the European Court of Toaster Rights. I am to present myself at the court to face charges of genocide. I am being held fully responsible for the execution of the toaster and Cauldrons.

I have no right of appeal as toasters, being a minority, have far more rights than I do. I'd ask for the help of a Toaster Rights lawyer, but as I got its owner kicked apart due to selfishly holding onto a yoghurt, I doubt there is any credible defence that can be presented to help keep me from being sentenced to... The Kitchen.

Bollocks.

Bwahahahahahahahhahahaha............

Tsk. Bobby in the shower...Kevin fir breakfast.

What does Mr Truly Reigns have to say about this all...?

Maybe her mum was replaced by one of Prince Philip's robots.

Pass the yoghurt, Sephrenia, and all might will be forgiven....

And the snogs

You'll drop the charges now, right?

Right.

In words of one sylallable.

My mom was asked to take a toaster to help out at a Charity Full English Breakfast for Saga louts this morning.

Apparently my toaster is naicer than hers , so she decided to borrow it to pass of as hers.

She didn't want to trouble me on my mobile, as it might worry me, as they're "surely for urgent stuff, and she wouldn't want me to think dad had had a stroke or something".

So just came and nabbed it as she knew I wouldn't mind.

Right, that's enough, Chaos. Back into your cell.

Your mom is Prince Philip?

I actually did not know she had a key. Must be from Whit week.

Let alone remember an alarm code.

She can't even remember my name half the time, and I'm an only child.

I'm often called "Fido, Tiddles, Chaos".

No, not the nipple camps again, IHYC.

I will lick your boots.

[pinky promise]

Okay. I am mildly disturbed that I am finding the truth is actually funnier than the maniacs on this thread!

I swear my mom is just so boring!!!

My mother does that with names, but then am youngest of three and she has had more dogs and cats than kids so I forgive her.