If my 3yo had access to AIBU...

[allhailtheaubergine]

AIBU to throw my bowl of pear across the kitchen?

Earlier today I demanded that my mother stop what she was doing and immediately get me a pear. She is by nature a difficult woman and she insisted on finishing her wee and washing her hands first . I explained loudly that this was unacceptable but, typically for her, my protestations only made her more stubborn. Then she moved the goalposts and decided that I could only have my pear if I said "please" (actually I worry about her in this respect - she is utterly obsessed with that word, it's not normal) so I stormed around the house for 25 minutes or so and then eventually gave in and said please (so now she'll think if she holds out long enough I'll end up saying "please" every time - made a rod for my own back there ).

Anyway, she asked me if I wanted the pear to be cut up or whole. I replied "cutted up" and the utter arse of a woman cut up my pear! I was speechless with rage! Obviously, words were not enough to express my fury so I threw the cutted up pear across the kitchen and kicked her in the shins.

WIBU?

I think she genuinely thinks I am BU and it's causing me to doubt myself. What do you think?

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Several posts later [dripfeed]:

Oh, and then I weed in my shorts because I was still cross. That'll learn her.

Thank you OP!! This makes me laugh every time I reread it!!

:)

Another happy customer, thank you :)

Down in History!

Am fairly new to MN, so only recently found this thread. I thought my pelvic floor had recovered - clearly I was a bit optimistic. Not laughed so much in ages. Thanks!

Literally cry every time I read this

Yeah, like I'm nearly 14 yeah and like I've just got to tell you that you're all really old and stupid yeah. And anyway I hate you. Can I have some money ?

Hey OP, how did this turn out for you? Did you learn her?

I could use some advice from any others on here who have been in my situation. My DM was getting really fat a while ago. I mean, she just couldn't seem to stop eating and she got such a round belly. It was bigger than mine!

Then one day she sat me (i'm 3.6 years old) down and told us about the OC. I couldn't believe it! Was I not good enough that she needed to look for another child? To top it off, she actually brought the OC home and expected me to love her too. Is she nuts? I mean, this baby is crap at everything! It can't jump off things, it can't post coins in DVD players or anything!
I would throw her in the bin but my dm seems to be watching her all the time! Lately I have been pinching my older DSis (6). I mean, she should be old enough to look after herself. Maybe if she left, I could have more attention. Plus, her reaction is GREAT!

Any other ideas?

My mummy gives me a bottle of apple squash when I have a nap.
But a few days ago I drank some of my juice which meant that my bottle wasn't full anymore.

I found that very distressing and threw a tantrum. I mean wouldn't you? If I drink from my bottle just why oh why does it not stay full?

But the real problem is my DM. This incident revealed a disturbing truth about her lack of understanding and empathy.
She kept on asking me why I was crying and even after I told her several times that I was crying "because I drank from my bottle" she did not understand why I was upset about that!
The woman is logically challenged!
She was warbling on about that the juice was missing from my bottle because it was in my tummy, which I know , but she failed to see why I was upsetting that I did that!

I can't reason with her.

And you know what the bitch did? She laughed! She actually laughed! She tried to hide it, but I saw what happened.
I see nothing funny about being upset about drinking my juice and finding out that my bottle had less juice in it because I drank some.

Good thing she made a nice cake later, so I forgave her for being thick, but I think I'd better keep an eye on her.

ZingBoy5 (aged 3.5)

This is my favourite thread on the whole of MN. Such a funny OP!

I am so glad I have found this thread. Only yesterday mummy was having coffee with my best friends mummy and we decided to have a look through the bathroom cupboard. I mean, whats the problem, after all mummy puts cream on her face and arms and legs so why was it so funny when we did the same with the tub of sudocream, I didnt expect it to be so thick though and I dont think i'll be able to wear those leggings again.... I really thought mummy was going to pee herself she was laughing so much

Parents don't know anything do they? My mum says I don't need a new mobile phone - what does she know? She still classes me as a child when I'm 12 for God's sake! I'm practically an adult now.

Hi

Oh gosh, I love this thread... :D Have to agree with Sophie, this thread is honestly awesome.

love this!!

Hello zombies!

Sure you're all getting on very well but if you need extra tips try How To Be A Little Sod by Simon Brett. It's very educational and full of great tips.

Happy annoying parents!

Zombie but still v funny

allhailtheaubergine, you could take a leaf out of our book: we are twins of eighteen months and we saw our mother decorating after we had gone to bed - obviously the poor thing didn't realise we woke up occasionally and didn't shriek the place down.

Decorating looked like such fun! We were distraught, however, to discover that all of the equipment had been thoughtlessly and selfishly locked away. We did our best to batter down the under-stairs cupboard, but would you believe it, our damned father had gone and fitted a bolt way up high! Despite our excellent efforts (including moving the stairs chair to the cupboard and standing on it), we were utterly unable to reach the bolt.

So, what are twins supposed to do, we wondered? There's no point in being awake first thing in the morning in rather full nappies and not making the most of them, is there? So we decided to decorate our room in tasteful shades of Clearwater Yellow with the aroma of ordure.

We are available at very reasonable rates.

Just bumping for anyone who might need this thread right now as it keeps me sane sometimes after a hard day with my nearly 3 year old

@BakeOffRewatch

Just for you! Fun to read, just for lurking...

HNRTT but did you LTB and find someone else who would respect your red lines?

AiBU
When were in the car I love kicking my mummy's chair the absolute cheek of it when she asks me to stop today her back was hurting that much she cried. Dramatic, much?!
When were in the car I demand we go "that way" but my daddy the absolute wankmuffin he is won't. He says when I'm older own a car and can drive I can choose. I only wanted to drive into the river Trent earlier. He said no. How RUDE.
All I want to do is make the car swim.

OP, the cutted up pear child is now what, sixteen?

How have things panned out? No more weeing in shorts and fruit-related tantrums?

LTB

I would absolutely love an update about the now 17 year old! 😊