If my 3yo had access to AIBU...

[allhailtheaubergine]

AIBU to throw my bowl of pear across the kitchen?

Earlier today I demanded that my mother stop what she was doing and immediately get me a pear. She is by nature a difficult woman and she insisted on finishing her wee and washing her hands first . I explained loudly that this was unacceptable but, typically for her, my protestations only made her more stubborn. Then she moved the goalposts and decided that I could only have my pear if I said "please" (actually I worry about her in this respect - she is utterly obsessed with that word, it's not normal) so I stormed around the house for 25 minutes or so and then eventually gave in and said please (so now she'll think if she holds out long enough I'll end up saying "please" every time - made a rod for my own back there ).

Anyway, she asked me if I wanted the pear to be cut up or whole. I replied "cutted up" and the utter arse of a woman cut up my pear! I was speechless with rage! Obviously, words were not enough to express my fury so I threw the cutted up pear across the kitchen and kicked her in the shins.

WIBU?

I think she genuinely thinks I am BU and it's causing me to doubt myself. What do you think?

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Several posts later [dripfeed]:

Oh, and then I weed in my shorts because I was still cross. That'll learn her.

I am incandescent with rage at Mummy's utter unreasonableness today.
I mean, I know she bought me two new animal toys and a milkshake, but I didn't want all of it, I wanted some of hers and she drank it all, even though she gave me half the icecream in hers, but it still wasn't fair!

Anyway so I wanted this toy truck, it looks like MAck from Cars and I neeeeeeeddd it so much, I love it, it's my best friend and I told Mummy I neeeeeeeeddd it because it's my best friend and she said I would have to wait until Christmas. So then I said "can we go to Christmas now?" And the bloody rude woman just laughed at me!!

These bloody bath times are really annoying me at the moment - everyone knows that it's much more fun to wee in the bath than in your potty just before a bath. I mean, I know she is trying to "get me used to the potty" or some such nonsense - she even tries to bribe me with food to get on it so that I learn to like it. Anywaaaay, it's much better when you wee in the bath because then you can drink it. And we all know how tasty it is don't we? She's lucky I didn't do one of my special poos in there cos then she really would have been buggered.

Mine also laughs and tells me my fake crying needs work - I'll teach her.

I feel so sorry for all of us - what is wrong with these parents?!

I know you are all going to say that I'm just being PFP - but my Daddy is really fantastic. He is sooooooo funny, much funnier than Justin Fletcher. And when he blows raspberries on my tummy!! He is the best. I could kiss and cuddle him all day (even though I know he's not that keen when I suck his nose).
I feel so sorry for him having to share a bed with that woman. It's not fair on him to expect him to get a proper night's sleep when she is hogging half the bed.

AIBU to expect her to sleep on the blow-up mattress on my bedroom floor, while I get to snuggle daddy in the big bed?

Nobody gets me up in the morning. They think they're safe because I can't open my bedroom door but some mornings I have to lie there saying "Dadda, dadda" for half an hour before anyone comes in.

I have not felt the need to post here before as for the most part mummy and daddy are quite well trained. But The Incident that occurred yesterday has left my badly shaken and I feel I may need some advice from you, as you are much more wise and advanced in training of your parents than I clearly am.

Okay so yesterday I demanded mummy and daddy took me to play with the big messy steam engines so I could smear myself from top to bottom with the black stuff that makes it very hot. (mummy thought she was very cleaver by buying me extra clothes to wear over my other clothes to keep me clean (she called it boil suit I think, sounds disgusting to me, thats a whole different thread) but I showed her by peeing my pants as to much clothes to take off!) Anyway when I was dirty enough that mummy was abit embarrased to be seen with me, I decided that it was time I got to jump on the funny bouncy castle thing. I was having SO much fun you can't imagine. That is until The Incident. Daddy thought that just because it was raining very hard that the funny bouncy castle thing wasn't fun any more and I sould come off! I didn't want to get off! More fun in the rain not less! I kept jumping in the funny bubbly puddles. Daddy still wanted me to get off. I didn't get off. Then daddy took his shoes off to join in on the funny bouncy castle thing. But than he grabbed me and took me off and ran back with me to mummy.

You think thats bad don't ya, Well it gets worse. Mummy made me wear daddys fleace as my clothes were a bit wet which covered up most of the dirt that I had spent so long getting just right. She put my socks and wellies by the fire to dry them out. But the stupid inefficient woman left my socks there too long and melted them! I mean come on! My favorite socks! Of course they were going to melt. They were 2 inches away from a massive fire. personally I think she must be a moron to not realise they would melt.
Please help me with suggestions of how to avenge this blatant incompetents. So far I have left this un-punished, but I need advise so not to go down this slippery slope. TIA

MinatureSteam 2.2 yrs

Things my mummy has done to me this weekend;

-Left me in my cot for half an hour until 6am before she came to get me both mornings. She claims she was tired having worked all week, but I think she?s putting it on as she up for two hours after I go to bed at 7pm. She can?t be that tired.

-Didn?t let me climb over the railings at the park to get closer to the ducks
-Wouldn?t let me charge at the deer in the park
-Told me we would go home if I didn?t stop whingeing in the back of the car. Cheeky cow, she couldn?t even work out why I was whingeing so why should I have to suffer and go home?
-Tried to get me to go to sleep. In the afternoon. In my cot. On my own.

-Couldn?t magic another jammie dodger out of thin air when we were out.
-Insists on this teeth brushing thing.

-Had a tantrum when I bit her on the leg.

-Tried to get me to eat kedgeree when all I bloody wanted was beans. What?s wrong with beans? I really only like beans. I have no idea why she keeps trying to get me to eat other food. It?s such a waste of money. She mutters on about starving children but I don?t know what she?s on about. Think she?s losing it.

Also, she can?t seem to understand that when I say nana and she goes to get the nana that by the time she?s come back and unpeeled the nana, I don?t want the nana anymore, that ship has sailed. Daddy tries to trick me by ?unpeeling? the same nana when I request nana 3 minutes later but I?m on to him. Who wants a 3 minute old nana? Fools!
Thanks for this thread, I thought it was just me in the situation but we?re clearly all suffering

I am so relieved to have found this thread, I thought I was alone in having unreasonable parents.

AIBU to think at the age of very nearly 4 I am quite old enough to be left at home by myself. My Mummy just will not accept that I have grown up now, I am a big boy, and I don't need her to follow me around the whole time! The cat is the same age as me, and she leaves him at home on his own all the time, so why not me? I have even tried suggesting the cat could look after me when she goes out, just to keep her happy, but she won't have it.

Lttlekitchen, almost 4

Hello, it's me again, and I'm so upset (and hungry). This morning, my mummy asked me what I'd like for breakfast, to which I said "toast!" Does she really need to ask by now? Not only did she then insist that I said please, but she confused me by asking me what I wanted on my toast. So I shouted through to the kitchen "jam! Please!" When I saw Mummy get out the jam, I realised I didn't want it any more and yelled "Marmite!" Mummy said "Which do you want, BabyWaffle - jam or Marmite" so I yelled "MARMITE" even louder so that she wouldn't get it wrong. Then my awful, horrible mummy spread Marmite on my toast, cut it up and put it on the table. Of course she should have really known that I actually wanted the jam, so I sulked for a bit and then burst into tears. Here's the really cruel bit - she then told me I would have to eat it or go hungry because she didn't have time to make me anything else before we had to take my sister to school. So I asked Daddy to make me a NICE piece of toast, with jam on, that wasn't going cold, and he said "No, BabyWaffle, you need to learn". AIBU to leave my breakfast, and get my sister into trouble too by encouraging her to mess about while she ate hers?

BabyWaffle (2.4)

oops 3.4. I'm so upset I can't even type properly :(

Well stomp hair flick you lot are just clueless! My mums SUCH an idiot, she just LOOKS at me!! I mean ffs!! She even wants to kiss me sometimes and and she thinks that now I am 12 I shouldn't need someone to be upstairs with me when I am in bed.

I mean, I am 12 years old and know EVERYTHING but EVERYONE knows 12 YEAR olds are allowed to have someone upstairs with them at their beck and call

right? I mean, AM IBU??

They're my armpits and I shall do what I like with them. I don't care how much Lynx she buys me. Let that be known.

BiggerBoff, 13 and 3/4

Right that's it, first thing in the morning I'm packing my Gruffalo Trunki and going back to Nanny and Grampy's house. I specifically requested warm milk and that mummy woman brought me hot milk. What on earth is the matter with her. Apparently it's now my fault that the previously hot milk is now cold. I said warm how can I get through to her!
Also apparently she can't make me 2 again, what's that all about?!?! I liked being 2, 3 just brings too much responsibility.

Fuzzy Jnr 3.1

AIBU to have just screamed, sobbed and lashed out at my (not so) dmother? She has just sent me to bed. But do you know what upset me? SHE FLuSHED MY POO AWAY! I want my poo back.NOOOOOW. In fact, I tried to climb into the toilet to get it back, but she had FLUSHED IT AWAY.

Parents

I am just so fed up with her tonight - she insisted one me not wearing a nappy after my bath when I was watching In The Night Garden and the bloody woman kept interrupting my viewing to ask if I wanted a wee wee and try and get me to sit on that hard white thing she calls a potty. Well, I tell you what - I wasn't going to do a wee on that, despite her trying to persuade me for the best part of 40 minutes. So to serve her right I waited until she left me (she wouldn't leave my side the entire time as she didn't want me to wee on the floor) for approx 30 seconds while she did something to do with that washing stuff she is always doing. Then I weed all over the sofa. A massive wee! hahahahahahahaaaaaa. Cannot believe how unreasonable she is, trying to get me to wee in the potty. Ha.

I feel your loss, SeaShells.

However tonight I feel a personal sense of victory. The Mummy person allowed me to have custard on my green beans. I still didn't eat them anyway, so a double victory really.

Was it a River of Sweetcorn type of poo, SeaShells?

Boffin, if she had flushed away a river of sweetcorn I'd have moved out to the play house. Mothers she even tried to wipe my bottom - sacrilege

nunchy nut cornflakes. FFS. Waaaaaaaah!

I got my own back this morning.

After managing to sucessfully wind my Mum up by spending 10 minutes avoiding putting on my shoes I got her cross.

So cross in fact she said she was leaving NOW, so I put my shoes in in the time it took her to grab her bags, , she told me to look what I was doing, I may have put them on the wrong feet in the rush, , she turned around fell over one of her bags and has broken too fingers. They are a lovely colour of purple, blue and black and all big and squishy.

Well I'm getting a lot of mixed messages, maybe some of you can help. I'm nearly 3 and going thru' the whole " let's be a big boy and poo in the loo" thing. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Anyway, we're having a new stension, whatever that is, and it will have an on sweet, which I like the sound of. For some reason that meant we had to go to a HUGE shop yesterday that sold stuff for bathrooms. Nanny and Grandad came with us to sit in the car with my new baby brother.
So, me and Mum and Dad and my big brother went in the shop. It was quite boring so I went for a walk round and found the big window at the front, I could see Nanny and Grandad in the car and felt a bit sorry for them so I was waving and dancing to make them laugh. All that dancing made me feel like doing a poo, well, there was a really nice loo just there in the window, so I pulled down my own shorts all by mineself and climbed up. Nanny and Grandad were still waving a lot but I couldn't wave and poo at the same time.
I did a really good, big poo and called Mum to come and do the wiping bit. By now Nannny was all red in the face and I couldn't see Grandad, I think he must have lost something on the floor - hope it wasn't the baby.
And then the weirdest thing happened, Mum found me, gasped "O mi God", picked me up and ran out of the shop calling Dad and BB, she didn't even wipe my bottom, usually she bangs on about how important it is. So we all get in the car and drive off - very quickly. And all the grown-ups are screaming with LAUGHTER ffs, and they didn't even buy a bathroom.
My question is what's so blasted funny about poo?And should I do them in the loo or what?

mini-bewildered

(Kingsroadie - I feel your pain!)

ouchie to the broken fingers and to the poo in display loo!

Thanks Thumbwitch I may in fact give up on the potty thing for now - she's nearly 22 months so not massively old or anything - it's just that my mother keeps banging on about how my brother and I were potty trained by 2 blah blah (well, I was at about 18 months apparently) and how if I "miss the window" it'll be much harder... But perhaps she just isn't ready yet! Although she does tell me when she wees and poos - not sure really - surely no nappies can actually be more hassle too when out and about?

Which brings me on to Bewitched's post - - that is hilarious! One of those nightmare - "oh god what on earth do I do" moments. See this is why potty training perhaps isn't all it's cracked up to be - maybe we should leave them in nappies forever?!

My mother is definitely BU . If SHE wants to get up at 7.30 and SHE hasn't got a deadline , who's fault is that ? SHE should know by now that by getting up at 8 I still have plenty of time for a long shower , put my uniform on , put my toothbrush under the tap and still catch the school bus at 8.25.
I don't need any of the breakfast stuff that's in the house when I can buy some overpricedrubbishnice snacks at the spar. Cos I am a sixth former !
And SHE only works part time so has loads of time to pick up my wet towels , soaking bath mat used clothes and the rest of my stuff.
Why won't she put the heating on when she gets up in the morning ! It's September , she's so unreasonable.
Touristsboy age 16

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered I am with