If my 3yo had access to AIBU...

[allhailtheaubergine]

AIBU to throw my bowl of pear across the kitchen?

Earlier today I demanded that my mother stop what she was doing and immediately get me a pear. She is by nature a difficult woman and she insisted on finishing her wee and washing her hands first . I explained loudly that this was unacceptable but, typically for her, my protestations only made her more stubborn. Then she moved the goalposts and decided that I could only have my pear if I said "please" (actually I worry about her in this respect - she is utterly obsessed with that word, it's not normal) so I stormed around the house for 25 minutes or so and then eventually gave in and said please (so now she'll think if she holds out long enough I'll end up saying "please" every time - made a rod for my own back there ).

Anyway, she asked me if I wanted the pear to be cut up or whole. I replied "cutted up" and the utter arse of a woman cut up my pear! I was speechless with rage! Obviously, words were not enough to express my fury so I threw the cutted up pear across the kitchen and kicked her in the shins.

WIBU?

I think she genuinely thinks I am BU and it's causing me to doubt myself. What do you think?

------
Several posts later [dripfeed]:

Oh, and then I weed in my shorts because I was still cross. That'll learn her.

[festivalwidow]

Has anyone else found this with their DPs? I fear my DM is suffering from a severe language comprehension delay.
She seems pleased when I say 'train', 'bird' and 'book', yet has a complete blind spot when I say 'eh! eh! eh!'. It seems incredible that she has no clue this can mean 'I want raisins', 'I want to go outside', 'pick me up immediately' or 'where is the Lego', among countless other derivations. The constant "I don't understaaaaand" is driving me crazy!

WIBU to take her to a speech therapist?
festivalorphan (17 months)

[plupervert]

What did the speech therapist say about your Mummy, festivalwidow? Did s/he understand your Mummy or did s/he then ask you exactly the same questions and then just start talking to you? If the latter, maybe the speech therapist couldn't understand your Mummy either, but you have to think that this is probably a rather lazy therapist, who won't take the trouble to engage with your Mummy and teach her to speak and listen properly. Maybe find another therapist and see what happens.

[HelenDamnation]

Just checking in with you, OP, and making sure you're ok.

[windatmytail]

At 2.30 this morning I was quite upset as for some reason my PJ's and sleeping bag was all wet, I coughed a bit and eventually my DM came to my room. She didn't even notice that I was wet and cold but tried to hold my hand I soon put her right and thought I'd sing her a lovely tune while she changed me, do you think she appreciated it? she then had the cheek to put me back in my cot without any milk a quick rendition of the banshee song and 5 seconds later I had my milk :) I couldn't get back to sleep though as the whole house seemed to be up and about for some reason - 2.30 am is too early even for me, they have no consideration.

windybabe (2)

[MrsBloomingTroll]

My new baby brother cries and my Mummy a) goes running and b) always knows what he wants (usually boobs) and gives it to him.

I cry for whatever reason and am told to "use words" to tell her what's wrong. Surely she should know, instinctively, that I want to carry my nursery bag myself/wear my dirty t-shirt from yesterday/watch a DVD/some other random demand just from the tone of my crying?

I don't get why it's one rule for my brother and another rule for me! AIBU?

MissBloomingTroll. Aged 3.

[piprabbit]

DM collected me from pre-school today and asked me to help her buy some milk. I was, like, OK - but I want some sweets too. She joked around with me and told me that there were sweets at home and I didn't need any more. Ha ha ha - as if sweets at home are the same as sweets at the shop , good joke.

We got to the shop and I helped with the milk and everything. Then I reminded DM about the sweets. She said "No" .

I made it clear that we would not be buying anything at all in that case, but she simply told me that the millk wasn't for me (who else could it be for???).

I lay on the floor in the queue and screamed. She stepped over me.
I shook the basket. She ignored me.
I tried to remove the milk from the self-serve checkout.
I swung my weight on the bagging area so the funny voice got all hot and bother about removing something from the bagging area.
I kept up the crying and repeated my very reasonable request.
I kicked the checkout. Then I kicked DM.

DM went very pink and muttered that everyone was looking. They were not, they were looking at the ceiling, at each other, at the floor - everywhere except looking at me.

I really am concerned that, having used a variety of verbal and non-verbal communication techniques, she is still failing to understand something as simple as "I want sweets" should result in me actually getting some bloody sweets. WWYD.

[BoffinMum]

Personally I would poo on the bagging area as that obviously works when out and about LOL

[piprabbit]

Thanks Boffin - definitely worth considering. Perhaps I could have put the copious amounts of snot I was producing to better effect, by wiping them on the bagging area.

You guys are an inspiration.

[mumwithdice]

You mean it gets worse? I am 9 months old and you won't believe what my mummy did today!

She put a blanket on me! In my buggy! Because she thought it was cold! Naturally, I kicked it off every time she put it on and made sure to wail whenever there were passersby. That'll teach her.

babywithdice 9 months

[missorinoco]

I've halkf cracked it with my mother. I had to refuse to leave school to go home with her for two days i a row until she realised I did NOT want a hug in public. FFS - I am four! People might see. But then she laughed when I told her to "chill." I think there's still some work to be done.

[plupervert]

My mummy isn't grateful for the help I am trying to give her with her pelvic floor exercises. Doesn't she know she's meant to be able to interrupt the stream? She's getting all arsey with me because I'm enforcing this with demands for the loo once she's sat down (and no, if I said I wanted to go beforehand, you wouldn't do this p.f. exercise, would you, you lazy cow! I know you!)

[Megfox]

You want to tell me what AIBU actually IS.....?

[Megfox]

What's a DPs or a DM.....?

[plupervert]

Am I Being Unreasonable
Dear Parents
Dear Mum

[HarrietJones]

My Mummy was very cruel this evening. She has started rationing the oranges. She said I had to eat tea first and not just oranges. I repeatedly told her but she didn't let me have any so I asked for a bath instead. And she said 'No' . What can I do with her? I know there's still oranges left as I only ate 3 yesterday and 2 today.

Daddy is just as bad he wouldn't let me bite each apple on the tree to see which was nicest.

Baby jones aged 11months

[plupervert]

Baby Jones, did your mean Daddy stop you from biting the bees and wasps on the tree, too?

[HarrietJones]

Mummy won't let me chase bees. She says they like the flowers but not getting grabbed. How does she know they don't want to play?

[plupervert]

She won't let you chase bees?!

SACK HER!

[HarrietJones]

I have considered it but where would I get my milk from in the night? It's so handy when Daddy puts me in bed next to Mummy so I can help myself, though she did have the nerve to stop me holding on all last night

[plupervert]

You are suffering from a rather unhealthily co-dependent relationship, then. Can you get downstairs and find the big cold box, and then the big lighting-up-ping box which heats things? If you can work them both, you will be able to limit contact with your parents who are, frankly, setting way too many boundaries for you.

[HarrietJones]

The ping ping is too high but I have mastered the cold cheese box

[plupervert]

Well, I suppose the ping ping box can wait. There's a lot you can do with the cold box.

First, you have to satisfy yourself about the little light. Make sure that it is properly turning off when you close the door.

Once you have made sure of this, you can get on with stocking the cold box with supplies such as Mummy and Daddy's mobile phones, any slippers they leave lying about (slovenly big people!), that controller they use to turn off your CBeebies.... things like that.

[TheSkiingGardener]

Please help, I am completely at the end of my patience with DM.

She is absolutely insistent that this thing called "three" comes after "one" and "two" even though EVERYONE knows it is "four". I have tried being patient, I have tried gently correcting her, recently I have had to get quite cross with her, shake my head and stamp my feet but she is STILL getting it wrong.

How can I help her get over this error and why won't she listen to me?

Babyskier (16 months)

[3doorsaway]

If you think she is being unreasonable now wait till you hit your teens your in for a treat then..

All mentle health conditions have been triggered by then, despite your best efforts to be a supportive and caring child, she will be probably self medicating with alcohol and probably either smoking secretly or may even be completely blatant about it while telling you how stupid you are to smoke!!

She will constantly moan about how good school was in her day! (clearly a spoff) and how she had a size 8 figure before you were born!! (well mum it wasn't me who ate my leftovers was it fatty!)

I'm an unpaid slave I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING!!

She feeds me crap food every night like lasagne, spag boll or mac and cheese. only giving my pot noodles when she is far to lazy to cook rather than to be kind!!

She will make jokes about how the last time she had a good night sleep was 95 ( in my case)

I think I have probably scared you enough kid but tbh if she is BU now you better try and get her in line now or it will just get worse!!

[RabidEchidna]