If my 3yo had access to AIBU...

[allhailtheaubergine]

AIBU to throw my bowl of pear across the kitchen?

Earlier today I demanded that my mother stop what she was doing and immediately get me a pear. She is by nature a difficult woman and she insisted on finishing her wee and washing her hands first . I explained loudly that this was unacceptable but, typically for her, my protestations only made her more stubborn. Then she moved the goalposts and decided that I could only have my pear if I said "please" (actually I worry about her in this respect - she is utterly obsessed with that word, it's not normal) so I stormed around the house for 25 minutes or so and then eventually gave in and said please (so now she'll think if she holds out long enough I'll end up saying "please" every time - made a rod for my own back there ).

Anyway, she asked me if I wanted the pear to be cut up or whole. I replied "cutted up" and the utter arse of a woman cut up my pear! I was speechless with rage! Obviously, words were not enough to express my fury so I threw the cutted up pear across the kitchen and kicked her in the shins.

WIBU?

I think she genuinely thinks I am BU and it's causing me to doubt myself. What do you think?

------
Several posts later [dripfeed]:

Oh, and then I weed in my shorts because I was still cross. That'll learn her.

AIBU that mummy doesn't know my thoughts? I mean, why do I have to learn these things called "words" when I can scream and in the end she works out what I mean anyway?

On Friday, she had the audacity to get me out of my cot from my nap when I'd woken up?! I mean, WTF? Of course i just screamed at full pelt, lying prostrate on the floor. She went on to offer me biscuits, my favourite grapes, a drink, Baby Jake on TV, but why the hell didn't she just know what I wanted instinctively? She meant to be my mummy FGS. Nasty mummy lady. She even went as far as offering another cuddle when I had been screaming for 30minutes. Well that sent me over the edge and I stamped my feet furiously. Nearly an hour later I just gave up screaming and we had a Duddle. Perhaps I need to go for longer than that so that she really understands what I mean. I just know I do not want to say these things called "words". Advice?

LittleMasterJamin, 19months.

AIBU?

Yesterday I was sleeping and being quiet FOR HOURS. I mean, I'm not even due to be born for 9 weeks so surely now is my time to get some 'me time'? But no. First of all my heart rate starts going up because of stupid mummy's heart rate was going up, then she has the audacity to send thiscold liquid down and lie on her left! Well, if she thought I'd fall for that she has another thing coming and why would I move into the cold liquid?! So I stayed well away.

I managed to stay still as a mouse for the first 30 mins of being monitored (they KNEW I was ok; what did they think that heartbeat was?!) and was very funny listening to people talk about why i wasn't moving! Not one mentioned because I was playing sleeping lions and practicing being stubborn for later!

Well, when mummy fainted I thought I'd better move a bit (see, not at all BU) and was she grateful?! No! She started crying and sent my heartrate funny again! At least that daddy person was there telling her to calm down because i was ok.

Am going to stick with him when I come out. He seems ok. She seems like a nutter.

MiniPottering - not due til November and already very hard done to.

Hi again everyone. I am so pleased this thread has become a safe place of support for all of us battling with unreasonable parents to share our stories.

I'm afraid my mother has been at it again.

I ordered her to get me some toast, but not cooked toast, and in a sandwich, and naked with nothing on it, but with marmite. I couldn't really make it any clearer. The bloody woman brought me an uncooked cold not-toast with marmite in that was a sandwich! FFS! I honestly think she does it to wind me up. I am in a pretty good mood today so I just burst into tears and angrily hid all my dinosaurs so she couldn't play with them because I hate her and she's not my mummy any more, and left it at that.

Fast-forward 10 minutes or so and I decided to have another go, so I pulled her skirt until it stretched all the way to the floor and laughed that I could see her bumbum to get her attention, then whined angrily that I was hunnnnnnggggggrrrryyyyyyyy. She asked me what I would like to eat () so I told her (again) that I wanted toast that was a sandwich but cold and not cooked with nothing in and with marmite. By some miracle fluke she actually got it right this time... except that she brought it to me on the same plate the wrong sandwich had been on!!! .

And THEN she tried to swap the plate for a different one! I promise I'm not making this up. I think she genuinely believed that I was going to eat the sandwich that had been on the plate that the wrong sandwich had been on.

I have been explaining to her very loudly and clearly that I expect her to make a NEW right sandwich to put on the right plate for about 20 minutes now, but it's just not getting through to her. In fact she's pretty much ignoring me.

Any suggestions?

Btw was it a comice or a conference?

Hmmmmmm LittleAubergine, it's a tricky situation! Have you considered refusing all food for the rest of the day so that she gets so panicked & provides you with crisps & chocolate in a desperate attempt to tempt you to eat something/anything?! This worked for a while with my Daddy, although I think mummies are tougher to crack on the food front! Maybe you could try deconstructing the sandwich & distribute the pieces around the house for her to reconstruct & learn how it should be done?

My mummy has also BU this morning! (What is it with Sundays, it's like they think it's a day off or something?!) I respectfully requested special pancakes for breakfast but the silly woman was taking too long to make them & my poor tummy was feeling very hungry. So I cried & said that I 'absolutely must have a yoghurt' but she was all like 'if you have a yoghurt you won't eat your pancakes they'll be ready in 5 minutes'! 5 whole minutes!!! I mean, I ask you, what planet is she on?!! So I cried at Daddy & he got me a yoghurt which made my tummy feel all better and full & I just didn't fancy the pancakes beacuse I needed them when I woke up & not after my yoghurt. I don't know why she is so cross, she now has a kitchen full of lovely plates, bowls & a big frying pan which she gets to play around with in lovely bubbly water! How is that so awful?!

I'm so glad I found this thread as I've been a bit worried about my mummy's development and need some advice.

She's my first you see and when I meet my enseetee friends, their mummy's seem so much more advanced, one has already learnt to give her son everything he wants, he only has to start to whimper and even if she has said no, she changes her mind and gives in. My mummy is nowhere near so well trained. Granny says she can make rods as well, (although why her back needs a rod, I'm not sure).

Another mummy knows ALL the words to The Gruffalo, without looking at the book! My mummy sometimes tries to skip whole pages, especially when we're late for bed.

Do you think its something I'm doing wrong?

She's 36 1/2 btw, Gruffalo mummy is nearly 3 years younger.

milko'clock nearly 21 months

Dear Little Aubergine,

The bestest thing what you can do in this situations is to take the sandwich and a shoe and mash them together. SLAP! then you get shoe licks on your not toasted sandwich toast with marmite. Then you eat it very very fast so that she can't take it off of you. then she will know not to use the wrong stupid plate next time!

My mummy is well stupid, she thinks I am sleeping up in my cot. little does she know that i am writing this from her iphone thingy and when i have finished i am going to lick it then throw it at the wall. HA that will make it work much better, and make her say hello,hello, can you hear me? Bloody phone! I don't know who bloody phone is though but they keep ringing her.

Thank goodness for this haven of sanity.
I think my mother has NPD. She is always saying "x, or y?" and refuses to understand that "NO!" is a perfectly good answer to this question.

"Shoes or sandals?"
"toast or cereal?"
"hoodie or cardigan?"
"apple or banana?"

GRRRRRRRRR she is just saying these things to confuse me.
The only reasonable answer to all of these is "NO!" and then, 12 seconds later, "I WANT BANAAAAAAAAAAAANA!" What is wrong with her?

My mummy sat me down in front of the TV yesterday so she could take that lovely Henry who lives in the cupboard for a walk round the house. Something called Supernanny (??) was on and she muttered something about "watch it yourself, may as well cut out the middle-man this time" Don't know what she was on about but there were lots of children on it acting a bit like my big sister (Mini McFee nearly age 7)

Miniscule McFee age 1

What is it with our parents and food!!

Mummy has just given me some spaghetti and tried to feed me - I mean I am nearly 2 does she really think I can't feed myself??? Then she started complaining my White top was orange (looks much better now!) and then, you won't believe this she tried... To clean ... My face! I mean how dare she!

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That's nothing, my mum was really mean, she picked me up from my tractor outside and took me in, she said it makes the neighbours look down their nose at you if your kids are running around half dressed, well she's the one insisting that I do wee's on the toilet, but I learned her, I did a wee on her path outside, in front of the neighbours, and I threw a really big tantrum when she got me in I even bited her minnie when she was trying to walk with me, trying to push her back outside

mini gossip wizard-3 in a week!!

^By DD, 2.9

She actually makes a good point, and one I hadn't considered before.

My mummy has been and is still being very unreasonable today. She won't let me go and look for my bestest friend in the world. She is not at home and I don't know where she has gone.

Mummy says I have to wait for my big sister to come home if I want to play out. She said I am not big enough to play out on my own and I am certainly not big enough to go wandering the streets alone. A car might get me she said. Or I might get lost. I have tried telling her that I will just stop the cars like the lollypop lady does, but she said that would be very silly. If the lollypop lady can do it, I don't see why I can't. And I am big now, I go to school now. She won't even let me go to the shop on my own. My sister is allowed. I have tried telling mummy I am nearly as big as my sister, but she still keeps insisting I am too little.

I can take the dog, the dog is as big as my sister. But no, I am too little to be in charge of the dog. And the dog is not allowed out without mummy.

How come my sister is big enough to go out but the doggy isn't? The doggy is bigger than my sister . These rules make no sense. I tried to let the doggy out to show mummy she is big, but mummy shouted and the took the keys out of the door. Now if there is a fire we will all burn. I told her all this, but will she listen? NO!

And at lunchtime she asked if I wanted pizza with daddy. I said "no pizza, play out, don't like pizza" She didn't make me any pizza . I had to have spagehtti! How am I meant to get bigger if I am not allowed pizza?

Now she won't even talk to me about it. She said she is not spending her day arguing with a four year old! I'm going to go and sit in the hallway and scream my bestest friends name untill she comes back, that'll learn mummy.

DooinTantrums, aged 4.

Oh Sirzy, I am so sorry to hear that. No one should have to endure their face being cleaned. I do understand a little of what you are going through as a similar thing happened to me - my mother tried to remove the crusty bogies from around my nose before going out today. With a damp... cloth... I can't really talk about it, I'm still emotional just remembering. I shall talk it through with Lord Wonderful Daddy The Marvellous this evening and see if something can't be done about this mother woman.

Mini-Tethers, you know I have often thought along those lines myself but you have put it into words in a way that I have never managed to. Thank you.

You certainly should take it up with Lord Wonderful Daddy if you have one. I only have a Daddy that I have to share with my Mummy, and they don't understand my Mummy is mineminemineminemine and nobody else's Mummy so hands off. I told a little boy words to that effect last week, and also all my siblings and Grandad. You have to make these things clear.

I tried to clean Mummy today. She had been cleaning the bathroom and stopped to sort out a cupboard. I took advantage of the hiatus to pour Cif onto her hair and face in an attempt to win her approval. She said rude words and rushed into the bathroom to wash it all off. I could have done that for her! She is so ungrateful.

PS I weed on her antique rug to show her who is boss.

WIBU to have to give every bollard on my walk today a big cuddle?

OK, maybe they didn't all need cuddling, but I got such good feedback from passers-by that I thought I'd better do them all (funnily enough, I was getting completely different feedback from Mummy!)

Shipskitten x

Daddy is being a boring bastard today, and SLEEPING (well, we all know how boring sleeping is). AIBU to kick his laptop so he will wake up and spend some time with me?

P.S. I can't ask Mummy; I'm bored of her.

I know this will be an unpopular view point, but I think YABU. Why so confrontational? You have to try to understand this challenging behaviour from your parents, they are obviously crying out for attention from you. The solution is to spend more quality time with them.

Now, I know we all have busy lives, but I find late, late evening and very early morning are free in my busy schedule and I always try to fit in a good quality hour or two at these times.

It helps of course, if you have sibling to share the burden, if you need a lie in one morning you can arrange in advance so you know they will be getting up at 4am to look after the parents, you can sleep in safe in the knowledge that they are in safe hands. If you are a single child, perhaps you can fit an extra nap in during the day, so that you can still spend this special time with your adult(s).

Since me and my brother began this special attention to our parents things have improved no end in our house, we can now eat whatever we like whenever we like on the sofa with CBeebies on and only get shouted at if actual milk is spilled, crumbs don't even get noticed these days (their eyesight seems to be deteriorating, perhaps another welcome byproduct of our new routine?). They don't seem to care what we wear anymore, so none of this take it off it's on backwards malarky any more, what a relief that is! We don't have to tidy up our toys - they just stay out on the living room floor which is so much more sensible, why spend time putting them away only to get them out again? And bedtime routine now only consists of nappy change and teeth brushing - no bath!! Well, hardly ever, and only if we say it's ok... of course this teeth brushing thing is still a sore point, but I'm confident that if we persevere they'll learn that we love them whatever they do and they don't have to keep testing our affection.

All in all I can't recommend this quality time approach enough.

hardworkToddler (21 months)

My mummy has been laughing at this thread, but I dont see whats so funny. She even woke daddy up when she was suffering from a bout of insomnia on Friday. You were so not BU mini aubergine.

This morning when mummy was changing my nappy I did a wee on the changing mat. I then dipped my toothbrush in it and mummy was really mean and took it off me when I tried to put it back in my mouth . She said we would have to buy a new one. I tried to tell her that wee wee is sterile, but she wouldn`t listen - she never does.

I cried, but she laughed and said my fake crying needs work.

Was IBU or was she?

li`l lilly
21 months.

Ooooopppss thank you so much for this thread! I have just started crawling an am soooo pleased to see that my Muma is evidently very unhinged - she won't let me play with the Sky box even though I'm just trying to find that nice Scuzz channel we watched when I used to fee for 3 hours at a time on yummy Mum milk. Now she says the drums and screaming are too much for my little eyes but I want to see the screeeeeaaaaaammmmmiiiinnnngg.

So I have in the last 2 days:

• started holding my breath until I go purple. This REALLY freaks her out an makes her get me up for big snuggle, then have long chat to Daddy InFlames while I crawl to Sky box ;-)
• Started grabbing my Boy Bits right as mummy takes my nappy open and discovers Biiiiiggggg Pppppoooooooo - then I roll over and crawl off with my little pooey hands and usually knees. Inconsistent witch - she normally claps hands and giggles inanely when i crawl but when I do it then she says 'Nnnnnnooooooo' in a rather dramatic tone so then I match her drama and raise her by one breath holding incident :-)

More tips please - I need them - love BabyBoyInFlames aged 9 months...

P.S is breath holding normal at my tender years or am I super advance and destined to a lifetime of tantruming?

AIBU to be furious that the geese swam away and mummy was unable to find more? It fills me with rage just thinking about it and makes me want to strain at my buggy straps and scream for 15 minutes in memory of the trauma.

And don't even get me started on the later indignities meted out to me. Just a few examples of what I have been made to suffer include being cruelly made to get out of the bath just because 'the water has gone cold and it's time for bed now'; and then being made to get dressed instead of eating the talc and climbing up the chest of drawers as I would have preferred.

AIBU to not want to talk about what I did at school all day? Honestly, I've just walked in the door and she's at it again with the questions! Is it my fault that her life is so uninteresting that she has to live through mine? I don't think I'm being U when I just want to ignore her and stare at the TV! She doesn't do this to Daddy, when he talks about his day at work she looks thoroughly bored! Well she can't have it both ways.....
what happens in the playground stays in the playground!

Mr fed up (6.10)

Try the following - ideally performed at 5am to ensure that your jailors are too weak to oppose your demands (sorry, completely reasonable requests) throughout the day.

MiniProject: Blue car! Blue car!

MummyProject: 'Smiddleofnight. No car. Sleepy time. Back to sleep.

MiniP: BLUE CAR! BLUE CAR!

DaddyP: can't you just give him the sodding car?

MummyP: if we give in now, he'll only...

MiniP:

DaddyP: can you just give him the feckin' car, I've got to get up in an hour

MummyP: i don't see why I'm the one who has to... ohhh forgeddit Ok, MiniP, play quietly. Mummy and Daddly sleeping.

MiniP: Red car! RED CAR!