If my 3yo had access to AIBU...

[allhailtheaubergine]

AIBU to throw my bowl of pear across the kitchen?

Earlier today I demanded that my mother stop what she was doing and immediately get me a pear. She is by nature a difficult woman and she insisted on finishing her wee and washing her hands first . I explained loudly that this was unacceptable but, typically for her, my protestations only made her more stubborn. Then she moved the goalposts and decided that I could only have my pear if I said "please" (actually I worry about her in this respect - she is utterly obsessed with that word, it's not normal) so I stormed around the house for 25 minutes or so and then eventually gave in and said please (so now she'll think if she holds out long enough I'll end up saying "please" every time - made a rod for my own back there ).

Anyway, she asked me if I wanted the pear to be cut up or whole. I replied "cutted up" and the utter arse of a woman cut up my pear! I was speechless with rage! Obviously, words were not enough to express my fury so I threw the cutted up pear across the kitchen and kicked her in the shins.

WIBU?

I think she genuinely thinks I am BU and it's causing me to doubt myself. What do you think?

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Several posts later [dripfeed]:

Oh, and then I weed in my shorts because I was still cross. That'll learn her.

Wow TotWriter - You have great stamina keeping that bawling session going for a couple of hours - that really showed her just how unreasonable she was being
Really sweet to read about what a great relationship you have with your Grandpa. But maybe sometime you might throw him a bit of a curved ball too - Just to keep him on his toes, and show them all who's boss !
After all, when you carry all the responsibility, it's only right that you be given due respect

babyjuggling obvs.

• Mum is looking at lots of paper with writing on it

Don't tell anyone, but whilst they think i am innocently playing with my bigest sisters wellies.....im actually filling them with her crisps (which she was saving for her to eat later). That'll teach her for hiding them from me.

I wanted to do the no nap/grumpy screaming afternoon thing again today but Mummy said "no way" and left me till I fell asleep!

It only took a couple of minutes but She's sooooo unreasonabl-zzzzzzzzz

BlathersTike 21 months

not so much AIBU but I am under appreciated i do all the chores round here

mummy never has time to put things away so i help, nothing left on floor onions in daddy's work boots , mummy's half of baby monitor in spare fridge in laundry, her cash cards are now having lots of spare place to play in my lego box instead of being cooped up in tiny tiny slots in her purse.... how can anything live like that. mummy does not like handwashing so i have carefully handwashed her slippers and silk scarf in toilet bowl........ why oh why is she not happy

now the AIBU mummy wants to put loads of good play stuff on ebay as free listing day I have tested some things to see if suitable for the royal mail, they are not they break when dropped , now she will not need to list the vintage china I have saved her so much time but is she grateful is she heck!!

why do mummies think now means immediately when any sensible person knows it means when i have finsihed all i intended to do first? I am only 21 months so do not know all answers yet

I like to save mummy money by making things multi-purpose I can eat yogurt it is rather yummy but it makes excellent shampoo hand cream and body butter especially the blueberry one it has all those special fruit acids to make your skin look younger not that I need to look younger ( cos that would make me a baby) but I love my mummy and know she needs it so I brace myself and go with it.

why is mummy so slow? I can remove all the wet wipes from a packet in about 30 seconds but it takes mummy a long time to get them back in and sometimes she can't get them all back in .... then I here her muttering funny words Daddy says mummy is quite clever but i am not sure!

Mummy thinks i need watched all the time especailly when i walk down stairs holding teddy blanket and book, why does she feel I can't manage walking down without holding on, I am 83cm tall mummy thinks i should only climb stuff shorter than me, what fun is a slide that you can touch top of while standing on floor, I prefer ones with 12 steps up so then I am taller than mummy

life is very very hard

I speak with the voice of experience OP, as I am now FIVE, but I found the best way to get my own back was to steal things like butter from the kitchen and eat the whole block. It was like watching a firework going off

Look, I haven't read the whole thread, - well i can't quite read as I'm only four, but I'm most upset at Mummy today as she insists that screeching when I don't get my own way is 'not good behaviour' .

I cannot believe that she would suggest this, I find it particularly effective for getting full attention especially in the conservatory where, when accompanied with the sound of scattering Duplo, the acoustics are perfect.

Now, she seems to have pulled the wool over the eyes of my big brother as he quietly wanders over to her to tell her what's wrong in calm way, ffs,

No, I tell you, I don't care what they did in her day, screeeeeeching is the way forward.

sNoring Junior - age 4.

Op YANBU at all, my mum has been really shouty at me today too. All because I wanted to run, what is so bad about running anyway! I like running, and I was running in town to see if I could beat mum to the umptmean-mean-man-choclat,(ice cream man) I did but then she wouldn't buy me one because I was being naughty for running off!! I wasn't running off at all I was racing her and I beat her because she's too slow.

So then she wanted to go to a boring clothes shop to have a look around, so I went in there with her and I realised that actually those boring clothes shops aren't actually boring at all, they're only boring when your in a buggy! so first off I ran right down to the bottom to play hide and seek in the pj's bit and when I saw mums legs, I jumped out and said "bound you", but she had her cross face on, so I ran to the front of the shop and mum was trying to find me again, and I found a really good hiding place, the window thing and there's really flat ladies in the window too and a big screen thing too, that mum cant see past unless she's outside, I bumped into one of the flat ladies and ran to the other end of the window and jumped out, mum caught me and I had to tell her that the lady fell, she had a cross face on again ! so then she wanted to look at the pj's so we went all the way to the bottom again, and on the way there, were boobies, you know those things mum's put boobies in so I wanted to tell mum about the boobies because my mums has lots of boobies and she might want more, so I was squidging the boobies and saying "look mum, boobies", mum turned pink and took my hand and walked out the shop, she didn't even buy anything.

We went to mamas house after and I fell asleep for a really long time. When I woke up I was hungry, mum wanted to go home but I wanted to stop at mamas house because I was hungry, mamas made me some cornflakes, but I found a chocolate in the drawer and wanted that now, so they let me eat it but then I wasn't hungry any more so I didn't eat the cornflakes, mum put on the cross face again and said "well that was a waste, there are starving children in Africa". what's Africa? my mum has been really unreasonable today too, maybe its that cycle thing they talk about, but I cant see what a bike has to do with any thing.

mini gossip wizard - 1 week away from 3

Oh and she put those reins on me in town, well I learned her, I lifted my feet up the whole time, so she either had to carry me by the reins, or had to stop completely, and I made her face turn pink too by screaming really loud :)

Aibu to do my poos in the bath, it's so much nicer and I like to see mummy and daddy's faces when I do it, it makes me laugh a lot. Oh and I hate getting dressed so aibu to do my rolling off the mat and screaming every single time mummy takes my nappy off or changes me?
don'tneedtosleepzzz 7 months

what a great

aubergine so funny

aibu to want to watch teletubbies over and over again i am sure that my mum luvs it really

I love this thread! Mr K had to pause the TV to find out why I was convulsing with laughter and crying Thank you v much!

Well my mummy tried to make me eat some homemade chicken pie this evening - it had vegetables in it and everything - why would I want to eat that? I had only chips for lunch as I refused to eat anything else and Mummy and Daddy couldn't do much about it as we were out. Hahaha. But anyway I didn't want the chicken pie I wanted the coconut ice that the adults were eating and so I screamed and screamed until Mummy gave me a tiny bit then said it was "all gone" so that I would then eat my chicken pie knowing there were no sweets left. But I knew she was lying and she didn't fool me. So I refused chicken pie then cunningly had a meltdown in my highchair which was actually surprisingly easy as I hadn't had a sleep at lunchtime as I had decided that I didn't need one and my buggy was far too uncomfortable. Then she let me eat two fromage frais as she knew that I was too tired to eat (ha - more fool her) and that if I didn't eat I wouldn't really be terribly keen to go to bed. But really I was maybe just playing her up. She knows nothing. And then she said it was time to go to bed not watch tv - I should tell someone about this - it's just cruel.

Then I screamed and didn't want to get in the bath, got in , promptly weed and then wouldn't get out when they said I had been in there long enough. I then made mummy sing songs to me as I was so tired. I bloody well deserved them after the day I had! She is sooo unreasonable sometimes.

PS. This thread had had my crying with laughter - amazing

PS - miniKings, 21 months

You know what really gets my goat? When I want to do the things my mummy does and she say "No no baby, you're too little to do that". Like for xample I like to phone people. She does it all the time but when I do it, no sooner have I started to chat than it's "Ooh no, baby who have you called now?". Mostly it's Daddy cos he's first on speed dial but sometimes when I'm dialling numbers I like to do really long ones that start with some zeroes cos the phone beeps every time you press a key and everyone gets really uppity! I sometimes talk to people on the phone even though there's no-one there and mummy gets really stressy. It really cheeses me off!

Also, what is with the car double standards? They can get in and out when they want. But I have to be "stuck" in a baby seat? I keep telling them I'm stuck but they just say, well that's good cos it means the seat is working. It makes me really cross, so when I've got bored with saying Mummy, stuck! over and over again I just get my arms out. I can manage to get my arms out of my straps however tight they are now. I know it's a bit naughty so I just say "uh-oh!" when I've got both of them out and my mummy says what have you done now baby? and then she stops the car and puts my arms back in and off we go again.

And and and I like to drive. I like to get the key with the funny buttons on it out of the key plate in the hall and get my sisters to let me into the car and then I sit in the driver's seat and try to put the key in the lock and my mummy says that I'm too small and I think well I just did it so how can I be too small?

I ask you, is any of this reasonable?

I shat in the bath, too. Fuck 'em, that's what I say. I am 10 weeks old and fed up of being treated like a chuffing baby.

mummy threw the wet wipes at the spider when I was looking at it. it was a really big one too. then she shouted at me when I got out of the cot to cuddle the spider. I WANT SPIDER

LOL Armi - And the rest (as someone else said upthread - but share the laughter hey ! )

mini gossip witch... you amature, you have to lift your legs up in the middle of the zebra crossing right outside your big sisters school in front of the head teacher.

I'm so glad I found this thread. Now I don't feel so all alone.My mummy says I am unreasonable, but I think I am not.

When she was busy helping my older brother start his car the other day, she left me alone with the red paint. She set up the table with newspaper and paper, brushes, paint pots and water. Why was she upset that I made myself so beautiful with red paint? My arms and legs and face looked so pretty. Then she put me in the bath, but I didn't want to have a bath.So I cried. Then the water wouldn't get hot, because the gas run out. Why is mummy so useless? I got very very cross with her because I couldn't have a nice hot bath, and she cleaned me up with COLD water and soap. What is wrong with her?

And what's with all these mothers who won't let us pee in the bath? I really like to watch it puddle in the soap dish before I get into the water to finish off. What is so wrong with that? Obviously she is BU because I'm not the only one who likes to do it.

And why, why, why, does she get that cross face when I bite my big sister? My big sister is mean and will not let me draw on her dolls. So I bite her, because she needs to learn a lesson. Then mummy gets cross and has that cross face. I don't know why she's allowed to have that face because when I do it to her, and growl, she puts me in my room for "time-out". But she is stupid, because I have toys in my room and I can throw them and kick the furniture when I'm in time out...

Littlegum - 3.1 years

I hope you have all asserted yourselves and made sure your parents got a nice early start this morning? It's very important for their training.

I personally left it a bit late, until 6.30am today. Mummy came in and told me it was night time and everyone was still sleeping. Despite the fact it was clearly light in my room, I pretended to agree with this and for five minutes lay quietly in my cot, giving her just enough time to go back to her room and nod off again. Then with impeccable timing I yelled "Mummmmmmmeeeee! Dadeeeeeeeee! Buggar Buggar!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mummy's bed!" She then had to supply me with not one, but two bottles of milk, whilst trying not to wake Daddy up as well. I then gave her a bit of a cuddle and some very cute kisses, just so she wouldn't get complacent, and then just as she was nodding off yet again, I started bouncing on the bed and demanding CBeebies. She is now lying prostrate on the sofa moaning quietly while my big brother feeds me chocolate brioches. What she doesn't know is that my pull ups have reached saturation point, resembling a codpiece off her Blackadder videos, and any moment now they will leak all over the sofa. She's really not at the top of her game this morning.

I am good at this. She should appreciate my efforts more.

MiniBoff, aged 2 years 5 months.

This morning I told my mum I wanted toast for breakfast and she insisted on putting bread into some funny machine which takes aaaages before letting me have my toast! I sat on the floor screaming but she just laughed!

I failed miserably, last night I gave mum the cross face because I kept coming downstairs and getting the chocolate biscuits for her to open for me, well I was hungry... I think, well she told me to put them back I said "no" she said "put them back now, its bed time", then she actually put the laptop down and took my hand and put me back to bed. I got her to do this three times then I came downstairs the final time and fell asleep on her before she could do anything, but then the cow put me in my own bed and when I started crying about it, she bleeding left me there to cry! WTF, which meant I was then too tired to wake up an hour later and climb in her bed and start digging my toes into he legs, and dribbling in her hair while she's sleeping. and I got up late too 8.30 I'm supposed to get up at that time when its school run days gggrrrrr!!

My mum is BVU this morning.

She is running around filling up the washing machine, she says it's hard work but I know it does the washing for mummy. She asked me to take the bedding from my bed and then hers What, surely that's her job, she wants to play with the spinny machine she needs to get the things out herself - I have to get my own toys out. I tried making a fuss but she just started using long words such as reee-spons- ab-ill-it-teee. But I know her game, she's trying to confuse me with long words so I'll just do what she says.

Good work mini on getting up when it was light. I also failed this morning with a 7am start. I did better yesterday with 6.15am. I was very proud of that because Mummy let me stay up until 10pm on Friday thinking it would make me lie in. Will the woman NEVER learn.

Minikidding aged 7yrs and 1 month (tomorrow!)