As the name suggests, I am sadly (but not that sadly) doing a shiney penguin....

[sadlydoingshineypenguins]

Quick potted history. With boyfriend 9 months. Not that serious but we had had the exclusive talk. Met on a dating site.

About a month ago had a feeling something wasn't right. Few nights he was supposed to be here and cancelled for dopey reasons that set my spidey sense tingling.

Looked on the dating site and lo and beholdy there is was, active, having logged in in the last 24 hours.

But I am not as stupid as he thinks I am.

I set up a profile called thisblokeliesandcheats (it's been taken down) with all his details except photo and spelled out what he'd done (thanks whoever that was who suggested that one) and I will probably do it again

At this point he's said he's coming here Thursday night to stop for the weekend (he doesn't work Friday)

BUT he has also arranged to meet "Anna" off the dating site at a lovely new restaurant for lunch on the Friday about an hour away from here (half an hour from his house)

Obviously, I am Anna.

So, how long do I keep this going. My teeth are itching I want to tell him so much

Am also a little upset, but I had nothing invested in the relationship, so my pride has taken a hit and I feel a bit of a mug but other than that am grand.

Rubbish, you are not to blame for this! He is the arsehole. You have done nothing wrong.

I think you'll find that many of us have been 'taken in' by this sort of man in the past, but few of us have had the brilliant opportunity you have to get some revenge!

sadly, just be happy that you had the nouse to discover his duplicitousness! He is the chump for trying to two-time you in the first place - you are a smart and resourceful woman who is going to make sure this chump gets what he deserves.

Coincidentally I am just about to take delivery of a bed in a style called "Anna" from John Lewis. Why not order one and leave it (still in flatpack/cardboard box form with the style name clearly written on the side) where you've arranged to meet him? All sorts of great puns available!

I'm sorry you're having to deal with such a twat, but I'm very glad you've sussed him out.

You could pm all of us his mobile and the insomniacs amongst us could prank call him in the middle of the night .

Oh don't feel bad, my BF of 11 years did this to me, that's stupid. I wish I'd had this opportunity

It's a horrible feeling, when something which made you happy turns out to have been rotten. A combination of mourning for what you thought you had, and feeling stupid or undeserving. But you're not -- your posts here show how warm and clever you are, you deserve better. Probably best to lick your wounds, dump him with dignity and try and move on. But I'll wear a stripy top on Friday in solidarity with you.

Oh please do the Anna flash mob twould be hilarious!

Sorry that he turned out to be a twat OP, as others have already said, at least you found out now rather than further down the line and were living together/had children etc.

Oi you lot, my name is Anna! Sadly, I can't be in Dublin this Friday, now wouldn't that have been good

I am rolling here.

If ONLY you weren't in Ireland. The potential for coordination of this is VAST. My suggestion would be that all the 'Annas' actually have little name badges on. He walks in and sees a sea of women, at every table, all with at least two toddlers in tow. Oh no - what to do? He starts to look more closely, nervously... and begins to notice that every one of them is wearing a badge. 'Hello, I'm Anna' 'Anna' 'I'm Anna' 'Anna' I'm Anna' 'Hello, I'm Anna' - it's an Anna convention...

Pure David Lynch. He falls to the floor, screaming, and at that very moment you call on his mobile. 'Oh, by the way - forgot to ask you before you left - if you see Anna, could you tell her I'll be there next week as usual? And by the way - you're dumped.'

Ah, the power of the vipers' nest

ShoutyHamster.

If we went with my the stripy top idea, he would have to approach and ask each woman if she's Anna. They should all say, 'No sorry, I'm Denise'. Including missmiss's boyfriend of course. sadly need not be there at all, and could text to ask how his day went later perhaps, dump him in an apparently unrelated fashion, and leave him rocking in the corner for the next six months, wondering how the two incidents could be related.

another vote for an Anna flashmob!

op, you are definitely not the stupid one in all this

I hope you're not offended

OK have bought a cheapy mobile. Just waiting for him to email "Anna" then I'll text him my number. Going to ask him to send a photo and have asked friend if I can use a pic of her as the "Anna" pic and she's agreed

Sorry Anna's number

this is frying my brain lol

If "Anna" now has mobile contact with him, an easy thing to do would be to have her "be late," and when you are sure that he is at the restaurant, waiting, text: "nearly there, just around the corner" then of course she doesn't arrive.

Later that day she could text him to say sorry she didn't come in but she saw him through the window and found him physically repulsive. You could add: "I hope that doesn't upset you but I know how much you value truth and honesty."

Oh god! The Anna flash mob sounds hilarious. Love the idea of wearing the same style of clothes. A few toddlers would just complete the picture perfectly.

Getting cheapo mobile is a brilliant idea, so much potential for messing with his head. Dont forget to update us

I live in Ireland!..well the northern bit if that's any help to you? I'll be in Belfast on Friday with my 75 year old mum and dd..we could be Anna's?

I'm also sorry that you are having to go through this...he sounds like a real charmer! NOT.. I do hope that you will be able to put this horrible man behind you after this weekend and look to a very bright future.

Right.

He's been emailing Anna back and forward. She is such a bimbo it's frying my head. The spelling mistakes alone are enough to make me want to throw the laptop at the wall

She has given him her phone number, he's messaged a photo and she sent one back he thinks she looks "hot" and can't wait to meet her.

She has told him he looks handsome - but I know the pic he sent is at least 3 or 4 years old and he's put on a bit of weight since it was taken.

What next oh you wonderful coven and nest of vipers?

Euphemia you may be right.

he's been texting me as well - just normal stuff like we usually would text about how the day went what he was doing and stuff

Two-faced bastard