The MN meaning of Liff

[AuntieBulgaria]

Douglas Adams and John Lloyd wrote a book called The Meaning of Liff that used existing place names to give names to commonly recognised feelings, experiences and objects that didn't already have a word for them.

For example:

Cotterstock - a piece of wood used to stir paint and thereafter stored uselessly in a shed in perpetuity.

I was thinking last night, as I stood behind my 3.5 year old daughter sort of herding/hooshing her upstairs to the bath avoiding a variety of potential distractions, there ought to be a word for this.

And then I thought, there are probably loads of commonly recognised parenting phemonema that could be 'Liffed'.

I browsed google maps this morning and came up with the following place name/ definition combos but would love to know yours too...

Kirtling - benign kettling required to keep small child going in the direction you need them to.

Poxwell - act of knowingly covering up of active chicken pox spots in order to make a quick dash into shop for milk or make an international plane flight home.

Ousden - constant flow of greeny/silver snot from small boys, the trail said snot leaves on the shoulders of all of your clothes; 'ooh, hang on, you've got a bit of ousden on that shirt'.

I am sure there must be good definitions for:

Two Mile Bottom
Throop
Weeley
Little Clacton and Great Clacton

And good place names for:

The poo that takes out an entire outfit.

The child-related objects (spare pants, raisins, playmobile duchesses) that fall out of your handbag in important business situations.

The face that teenagers pull when you suggest a healthy walk after lunch.

[MardyBra]

I should be doing my admin too. I am a frequent victim of Shoreham

[NorfolkNChance]

Mildenhall a passageway with increasing damp causing all sorts of green scum to grow.

[OTheHugeManatee]

Braintree - An amorphous roundish green blob on top of a brown line, as drawn by your child after a walk in the countryside.

[OTheHugeManatee]

Somersham - Not-so-nice ham bought in emergency from cheap supermarket.

[MardyBra]

slattocks an untoned behind in leggings

[Bluebell123]

Wendens Ambo - all that's left in the toy box when you've taken out all the recognisable stuff. Fluff, a solitary dice, three marbles and a puzzle piece from a jigsaw you don't oen

[Inertia]

Splott - the pus from a recently lanced boil.

Helions Bumpstead - a back injury caused by over-exuberant birthday celebrations.

[NorfolkNChance]

Sawston a special kind of rock saw owned by men called Iain (not Ian) who drink cider and have ginger beards (not beers)

[MardyBra]

wardle (vb) to sing slightly off key. There is a particular timbre to infant school assemblies where groups of children wardle in different keys at the same time.

[thefirstMrsDeVere]

walthamstow to conceal potentially incriminating substances in a swift and skillful manner.

[Inertia]

OThe and Mardy- what well-timed postings ,for I believe that Somersham is without fail bought by people who choose to show off their slattocks.

[MardyBra]

Slyne - the black mould which gradually builds up on manky bath toys

[MardyBra]

Ings Debris found at the bottom of a handbag. Must include at least 2 buttons, some receipts, a child's toy, tissues, a totally random object and 37p in change.

[GentleOtter]

Hove - the noise made when cleaning a smear on the mirror with your breath.

[MardyBra]

Inertia. Right, off to do some work now (and you need to clean).

Feel free to shoot me if you see me on this thread in the next two hours.

[MardyBra]

MNHQ - classics please - I love these.

[GentleOtter]

Sullom Voe - That thing teenagers do with their mouths when asked to tidy their bedrooms.

[halfcaff]

Surely Two Mile Bottom would do for the outfit-annihilating poo?

[CatPower]

Findo Gask - The feeling you get when you rush 100 yards down the road late for a very important appointment and realise you've left your hair straighteners/hob/grill on.

Muir Of Ord - the generic name given to any Lego Star Wars character that you can't remember the correct name for.

Inchnadamph - the technical term for the water line left around the bath after bathing a very mucky four year old.

[halfcaff]

Itchen Abbas - what happens when you encounter a patch of nettles when you are trying to get to the watercress.

[Inertia]

Machynlleth - Bless you !

( gets back to hoovering before Mardy spots me )

[NorfolkNChance]

West Chiltington a brisk wind that causes you to gasp at the coldness in polite society causing much embarrassment.

[bronze]

Fakenham- the stuff that isn't nice ham

[AuntieBulgaria]

Oh you have all been busy and brilliant. Wookey Hole and Slyne - fantastic :-) . I've had to stick dd in front of a dvd so I can read and enjoy them properly.

[candleshoe]

Thrupp - that special kind of vomit that can travel at speed and to enormous distances.

Chipping Sodbury - the urge to buy fish and chips for their tea even though you know you have the ingredients for a 'proper' meal in the fridge.

Dursley - that insane, almost delirious, sleep deprived state in the first four months with a new baby.

Painswick - the scar that is forever on your child's face or body, that was caused by an accident you should have prevented, that is there to remind you that you are NOT the perfect mother!

Nupend - the way of lifting a child's legs up one handed by the ankles in order to change the nappy.