The MN meaning of Liff

[AuntieBulgaria]

Douglas Adams and John Lloyd wrote a book called The Meaning of Liff that used existing place names to give names to commonly recognised feelings, experiences and objects that didn't already have a word for them.

For example:

Cotterstock - a piece of wood used to stir paint and thereafter stored uselessly in a shed in perpetuity.

I was thinking last night, as I stood behind my 3.5 year old daughter sort of herding/hooshing her upstairs to the bath avoiding a variety of potential distractions, there ought to be a word for this.

And then I thought, there are probably loads of commonly recognised parenting phemonema that could be 'Liffed'.

I browsed google maps this morning and came up with the following place name/ definition combos but would love to know yours too...

Kirtling - benign kettling required to keep small child going in the direction you need them to.

Poxwell - act of knowingly covering up of active chicken pox spots in order to make a quick dash into shop for milk or make an international plane flight home.

Ousden - constant flow of greeny/silver snot from small boys, the trail said snot leaves on the shoulders of all of your clothes; 'ooh, hang on, you've got a bit of ousden on that shirt'.

I am sure there must be good definitions for:

Two Mile Bottom
Throop
Weeley
Little Clacton and Great Clacton

And good place names for:

The poo that takes out an entire outfit.

The child-related objects (spare pants, raisins, playmobile duchesses) that fall out of your handbag in important business situations.

The face that teenagers pull when you suggest a healthy walk after lunch.

[ChristmasFluff]

Well given the OP, I can't help that the stick (and others like it) otherwise referred to as 'Poosticks' and left outside the front door, simply have to now be the 'Shitterstocks'.

Me and my mate, late 80s fans of the single Suedehead, misheard the lyrics "good lay" as 'Kipling'. We also spread the experience across Birmingham, so that 'Kipling' was wiggling eachother's noses with a forefinger.

There may be people today who still believe this.

[BreakfastAtSquiffanys]

Just found this thread which is too good to be a zombie...

Ambleside (v) in toddlers, to dawdle when being held by the hand. "Joshua, stop amblesiding!"
Bassenthwaite (n) when an amblesiding toddler refuses to go any further, and just sits down. "Jack had a bassenthwaite in the middle of Tesco"
Coniston (n) hysterical refusal of toddler to get up from his bassenthwaite

windermere a tiny involuntary hicuppy belch

[AuntieBulgaria]

My 3.5 year old DD is now 11 and I still need to do quite a bit of Kirtling!

[SpawnChorus]

I spent a good few years trying to remember where I'd read "alternative place meanings" before stumbling back onto MN. The only one I could remember was Lossiemouth. That one has become part of the vocabulary of my inner monologue. It's perfect.

[CutesyUserName]

Wyre Piddle: The first pee after a night of frantic, energetic sex.

Lickey End: What your dog does on the carpet in front of important guests as soon as you get round the dinner table. Usually accompanied by much slurping and grunting.

[MothertotheLordsofmisrule]

Caterham - cheap thin ham bought for the purposes of large volume sandwich production.
I.e. Parties/wakes/contribution to class party.

[DisgraceToTheYChromosome]

Ab Kettleby: the condition arising from cake frenzy.

Adlestrop: a tantrum thrown by a child who has been given exactly what they asked for.

Zouch: the sound made by your dissertation being thrown down the stairs by your 3 year old.

[AuntieBulgaria]

2018 Liffs

Bobbington - repeatedly getting back up after lights out for increasingly spurious reasons.

Uttoxeter - the remains of slime experiments unexpectedly found in the bottom of Tupperware.

Winscombe - presenting demeanour of unicornglittter crafting YouTubers

I need a word for the amount of time spent scrolling through Netflix programmes before going back to watching the West Wing again.

[GeekLove]

Towcester - plural noun for a group of tossers

[HauntyMython]

I was just reminded of this (I was WobblyWidgetOnTheScooper) when dad for some reason mentioned Chipping Sodbury. Had to look up the thread and I've been snorting in an unattractive manner laughing since then. Thought I'd bump it for anyone who didn't see it before. :)

[JetLi]

Nether Haugh = Having one ass cheek hanging out of the bottom of your pants, can occasionally be accompanied by e Knockbrex (see above)

[JetLi]

Hanging Grimston = the undercarriage of a toddlers nappy after 10 hours sleep plus breakfast

[JetLi]

Gardham = the act of secreting sandwich fillings in a hidden corner of the fridge behind the pickle & the unpleasant fat free salad dressing no-one will eat
High Gardham = a Gardham for noble purposes - eg. saving the good parma for A Special Occasion
Low Gardham = hiding the parma for private snaffling whilst feeding beans on toast to the rest of the family

[JetLi]

Primrose Valley = a freshly washed lady garden

[stubbornstains]

Zoar: Magic space stick, for purposes of bashing.

[stubbornstains]

Splatt: Total loss of ice cream cone on hot pavement.

[stubbornstains]

Wiveliscombe (pron. Wivliskum): cheerful insubordination from toddlers, as bouncing up and down on sofa giggling whilst ignoring repeated requests to put toys away...

[stubbornstains]

Gweek: the involuntary noise you make as you recall your most embarrassing incident, ever.

[stubbornstains]

Ventongimps: Cornish rubberwear enthusiasts. Subject of prurient post-watershed C4 documentaries.

[stubbornstains]

Nunney Catch: pre-childbirth fanjo

Nether Wallop: same post-childbirth

[MardyBra]

Peebles Any pebbles used in a twee home decorating context. Also applies to glass pebbles in vases.

[jugglingwiththreeshoes]

Chipping Sodbury, when you think, sod it, it's been a long day, let's get chips As in "doing a Chipping Sodbury"

[MirandaGoshawk]

Great Bookham - When your DP makes you go through the bookcase and you decide you can live without your 1983 Guinness Book of Records, so you take it to the charity shop, but can't resist buying three paperbacks.

[MirandaGoshawk]

Ballyliffin - Cleaning the loo brush in the dishwasher.

[MirandaGoshawk]

Ballymena - when the lady in the National Trust teashop gives you the smallest slice of cake.

Ballybunion - when you reject a Ballymena and ask for the biggest piece instead.