The MN meaning of Liff

[AuntieBulgaria]

Douglas Adams and John Lloyd wrote a book called The Meaning of Liff that used existing place names to give names to commonly recognised feelings, experiences and objects that didn't already have a word for them.

For example:

Cotterstock - a piece of wood used to stir paint and thereafter stored uselessly in a shed in perpetuity.

I was thinking last night, as I stood behind my 3.5 year old daughter sort of herding/hooshing her upstairs to the bath avoiding a variety of potential distractions, there ought to be a word for this.

And then I thought, there are probably loads of commonly recognised parenting phemonema that could be 'Liffed'.

I browsed google maps this morning and came up with the following place name/ definition combos but would love to know yours too...

Kirtling - benign kettling required to keep small child going in the direction you need them to.

Poxwell - act of knowingly covering up of active chicken pox spots in order to make a quick dash into shop for milk or make an international plane flight home.

Ousden - constant flow of greeny/silver snot from small boys, the trail said snot leaves on the shoulders of all of your clothes; 'ooh, hang on, you've got a bit of ousden on that shirt'.

I am sure there must be good definitions for:

Two Mile Bottom
Throop
Weeley
Little Clacton and Great Clacton

And good place names for:

The poo that takes out an entire outfit.

The child-related objects (spare pants, raisins, playmobile duchesses) that fall out of your handbag in important business situations.

The face that teenagers pull when you suggest a healthy walk after lunch.

[SpawnChorus]

LOL at Yockenthwaite

[kitbit]

Winchcombe descriptive of the look on MIL's face when she desperately wants to contradict you but realises she hasn't got a leg to stand on

Shurdington how you feel when you've realised MIL was actually right

West Wittering MIL's 'I was right' speech

Grinstead the look on your face while experiencing West Wittering

East Grinstead the look you give your husband that MiL doesn't see

Meeth how you feel when she shuts up

[kitbit]

Lowestoft the furthest point your lady garden will be allowed to grow before being tamed

[duckymum]

My favourite from the book - Peoria - the fear of peeling too few potatoes.
This is rampant in my family and results in massive overcompensation.

My contribution - Driffield - The area of clothing affected by an unexpectedly leaky boob.

[SpringHeeledJack]

kitbit

Chippenham (of dcs) process of attrition; repeatedly asking parent for something, preferably in public place

Wilts (of parent) the inevitable giving in to above

[SpringHeeledJack]

Upper Poppleton nipple peakage from summer dress worn for the first time this year, making you remember- too late-that that's the precise reason you didn't wear it last year

Skipton shoddy reading of bedtime story in haste to go downstairs to drink booze and watch Road Wars

Headly Down inevitable try on by dp after three hours of the above

Surbiton feigning of sleep to avoid above

Canterbury childless and naive adult who enjoys frolicking with friends' dcs at festivals, parties etc and gets taken advantage of

[SpringHeeledJack]

Chipping Sodbury fast food detritus left on London streets that your dog has got hold of in spite of your best attempts to avoid

[kitbit]

Bletchley Park village green frequented by students on Friday and Saturday nights

Sutton sudden fear that you may have overseasoned the lamb casserole

Didcot an outgrown Moses basket

[PigeonStreet]

Lower Peover - puddle of wee left on bathroom floor around base of toilet by dh ds in middle of night.

[rockinhippy]

Happy Valley = post coital "Lady Garden"

Hedley Hope = please God be nit free after the scrum in at a kiddies party

Nether Exe = The Ex you'd rather never deal with again

Murton = The crud found in the bottom of pockets when sorting out a wash

Copston Magna = the large gangs of over enthusiastic Police officers seen following protests

[jugglingwiththreeshoes]

It's nice when you know the places isn't it ?
I have fond memories of Didcot and HappyValley
and will think of them in a new light now

[ttalloo]

Trotters Bottom - describes the red raw state of a toddler's bum after they've been running around in a stinky nappy for an hour

Borehamwood - the dullness of having to endure the same repetitive activity much enjoyed by small children

Barnet - hair

High Barnet - big hair

Chipping Barnet - when your hair smells unbearably of deep-fried food, and you just have to wash it.

[Milkycheeks]

Lostwithiel - used to describe an item which you gone to fetch from a particular room, only to find when you get to said room you have no idea what it was you came to look for.
Can also be used to describe an item which you swear was in particular place thirty seconds ago but which has mysteriously vanished.

Taunton - the repeated crying of a small child in the middle of the night, just at the point when you are just drifting off again.

Sourton Cross - the mood of a mother who has been repeatedly woken by DCs during the night, while DH has spent the night in snoring oblivion.

[peeriebear]

I haven't seen the book for years, thanks for the reminder! I found Kettering to be incredibly apt (the pattern on your thighs from sitting on a wicker chair) and still use it. Also applies to the fabric pattern imprinted on your cheek after falling asleep on the sofa.

[GentleOtter]

Culbokie - the brief moment between feeling nauseous and then actually being sick.

[Mercedes519]

balls cross the feeling your DH claims after he got his hopes up with a horninghold but you have to get up/go back to sleep

[tracyvontrapp]

Walberswick - a family picnic memorable for all the wrong reasons, probably ending in a big row (from the infamous Walberswick Incident of '98)

[hairtwiddler]

We passed through Little Bavington earlier today. The older child who you watch pushing over your child at soft play, then cries and claims your child him him/her first.

[nagynolonger]

Mablethorpe - An elderly maiden auntie who your 10+ DCs do not want to visit because it's so boring.

[MirandaGoshawk]

Ballymena - when the lady in the National Trust teashop gives you the smallest slice of cake.

Ballybunion - when you reject a Ballymena and ask for the biggest piece instead.

[MirandaGoshawk]

Ballyliffin - Cleaning the loo brush in the dishwasher.

[MirandaGoshawk]

Great Bookham - When your DP makes you go through the bookcase and you decide you can live without your 1983 Guinness Book of Records, so you take it to the charity shop, but can't resist buying three paperbacks.

[jugglingwiththreeshoes]

Chipping Sodbury, when you think, sod it, it's been a long day, let's get chips As in "doing a Chipping Sodbury"

[MardyBra]

Peebles Any pebbles used in a twee home decorating context. Also applies to glass pebbles in vases.

[stubbornstains]

Nunney Catch: pre-childbirth fanjo

Nether Wallop: same post-childbirth