The MN meaning of Liff

[AuntieBulgaria]

Douglas Adams and John Lloyd wrote a book called The Meaning of Liff that used existing place names to give names to commonly recognised feelings, experiences and objects that didn't already have a word for them.

For example:

Cotterstock - a piece of wood used to stir paint and thereafter stored uselessly in a shed in perpetuity.

I was thinking last night, as I stood behind my 3.5 year old daughter sort of herding/hooshing her upstairs to the bath avoiding a variety of potential distractions, there ought to be a word for this.

And then I thought, there are probably loads of commonly recognised parenting phemonema that could be 'Liffed'.

I browsed google maps this morning and came up with the following place name/ definition combos but would love to know yours too...

Kirtling - benign kettling required to keep small child going in the direction you need them to.

Poxwell - act of knowingly covering up of active chicken pox spots in order to make a quick dash into shop for milk or make an international plane flight home.

Ousden - constant flow of greeny/silver snot from small boys, the trail said snot leaves on the shoulders of all of your clothes; 'ooh, hang on, you've got a bit of ousden on that shirt'.

I am sure there must be good definitions for:

Two Mile Bottom
Throop
Weeley
Little Clacton and Great Clacton

And good place names for:

The poo that takes out an entire outfit.

The child-related objects (spare pants, raisins, playmobile duchesses) that fall out of your handbag in important business situations.

The face that teenagers pull when you suggest a healthy walk after lunch.

[bronze]

Redbourn- How the bed/floor looks after having given birth


I love this thread. ~I've just ordered the book as I haven't read it for years and I suspect my parents still have it

[OTheHugeManatee]

Cowlinge - The wisp of hair that keeps getting in your eyes while you're trying to cook, make a phone call and defuse World War III all at the same time.

[OTheHugeManatee]

Cherry Hinton A MNer who has never participated in a Friday night bumsex thread.

[candleshoe]

I am one of those then OTheHugeManatee!

[bronze]

Dereham- Nice ham, the opposite of Fakenham

[OTheHugeManatee]

Brent Pelham - a sticky patch on the carpet

Stocking Pelham - as above, but on your last pair of hole-free tights

[CaveMum]

NorfolkNChance - another local eh

Dullingham - the boring mum/dad no one wants to talk to in the playground

[VenetiaLanyon]

Ible - the noise of pure joy and triumph that a parent makes when a zoo animal actually deigns to make the sound / action that you've mimicked for many a long year, rather than just staying asleep like all the other wretched zoo animals.

[OTheHugeManatee]

Dereham is the sort you buy from the poncetastic deli for £££, right?

[CaveMum]

And OTheHugeManatee

[gives secret East Angular handsignal]

[OTheHugeManatee]

Shaftenhoe End When a troll thread in the Relationships section deteriorates to surreal insults

[OTheHugeManatee]

[bronze]

Melton Constable- leaning drunkedly against a police constable and gushing about how you think they do a great job

[BoffinMum]

Auntie Bulgaria, a Littleover* is handing a small nappy wearing child over to another adult because they have suddenly become smelly.

[NorfolkNChance]

[AuntieBulgaria]

Inertia posted;
Throop is the pre-vomit retching sound a child makes. The time interval between Throop and vomit is precisely 3 seconds less than the time required to fetch, or steer child to, a lavatory or other suitable receptacle.

I would like to add;

Great Yarmouth - the choice, having correctly identified a Throop, whether to use your hands as a suitable receptacle or get vomit on the carpet.

Chipping Sodbury - the barky stuff in play parks that gets stuck in your sandals.

[NorfolkNChance]

Burwell the ability to remove excess material skilfully

[BoffinMum]

Halfcaff, that would surely be a Six Mile Bottom, as near Newmarket.

We used to play a great game where we provide "Women's Institute" as an unfortunate suffix to real life place names. As in "Loos Women's Institute", "Ugley Women's Institute" and my personal favourite, "Six Mile Bottom Women's Institute". I would be intrigued to hear further suggestions.

[NorfolkNChance]

Ely that slimy feeling you get when retrieving rogue spaghetti from the bottom of the washing up bowl.

[OTheHugeManatee]

Norfolk I was wondering about Ely!

Cockayne Hatley - Making sure your child is covered up on a sunny day but forgetting to do the same for yourself, with lobster consequences.

[NorfolkNChance]

Queen Adelaide a monarch with dubious tastes in reptilian mating

[candleshoe]

Waterly Bottom - that slight incontinence you get when you are seven months pregnant with twins!

[BoffinMum]

A Mickleover is a quick squirt of the fringe with an ironing water spray and a subsequent 10 second blast with the hairdryer to make it look as though you are groomed when you have not had time to wash your hair properly (or anything else, for that matter).

[NorfolkNChance]

Prick Willow little person who is a bit of a cunt.

[BoffinMum]

A Brancaster is a very posh cheese and pickle sandwich.