The MN meaning of Liff

[AuntieBulgaria]

Douglas Adams and John Lloyd wrote a book called The Meaning of Liff that used existing place names to give names to commonly recognised feelings, experiences and objects that didn't already have a word for them.

For example:

Cotterstock - a piece of wood used to stir paint and thereafter stored uselessly in a shed in perpetuity.

I was thinking last night, as I stood behind my 3.5 year old daughter sort of herding/hooshing her upstairs to the bath avoiding a variety of potential distractions, there ought to be a word for this.

And then I thought, there are probably loads of commonly recognised parenting phemonema that could be 'Liffed'.

I browsed google maps this morning and came up with the following place name/ definition combos but would love to know yours too...

Kirtling - benign kettling required to keep small child going in the direction you need them to.

Poxwell - act of knowingly covering up of active chicken pox spots in order to make a quick dash into shop for milk or make an international plane flight home.

Ousden - constant flow of greeny/silver snot from small boys, the trail said snot leaves on the shoulders of all of your clothes; 'ooh, hang on, you've got a bit of ousden on that shirt'.

I am sure there must be good definitions for:

Two Mile Bottom
Throop
Weeley
Little Clacton and Great Clacton

And good place names for:

The poo that takes out an entire outfit.

The child-related objects (spare pants, raisins, playmobile duchesses) that fall out of your handbag in important business situations.

The face that teenagers pull when you suggest a healthy walk after lunch.

Shirmers - a sideways glance at the person who has made a smell in a lift.

Auntie Bulgaria - fab thread - laughed till I cried.
I think Axminster accurately describes the face teenagers pull when faced with a healthy after lunch walk.

Barton Bendish: (n) The small but audible fart a heavily pregnant woman makes when bending over. "Oh, God, she just let a Barton out"

From DH -

Aberdour ? a sad teddy bear

Ballingry ? emotion where tears are close, somewhere between angry and upset, frequently observed in toddlers

Burnturk ? the feeling that a poo is imminent after a curry

Gellyburn ? precursor to a burnturk

Edradour ? sadness induced by a bang on the head

Assloss Weightwatchers HQ

Broadbottom where you're sent when you get kicked out of Assloss

Diggle what teenagers do when they're trying to subtly get cash out of their parents

Plucks Gutter Street in a red light district

Snig's End the little bits at either end of saucisson or chorizo

Mumby - pet name your child has for you, that you secretly hope they never grow out of.

Little Timble - hand-crafted, sustainable-source wooden musical instrument that DC show absolutely no interest in.

Studley Roger - Dad who likes to take charge at PTA barbeques.

Peebles - stuff that looked interesting when you were at the beach.

Creeting St Mary - a child who pinches your child and then bursts into convincing tears as their mother hoves into view, thus gaining you dirty looks.

I'm looking for the word that means the remains found in a forgotten lunchbox.

HoneyDragon - there's been some Birstwith here today :-)

Campsey Ash The cigarette butts you find in your driveway/parking spot/on your doorstep when no-one in the household smokes

Eaton Bray The praise you give your DC for eating one single solitary item from their lunch/tea/dinner/supper/whatever you call it despite their solemn intent at the start of the meal not to eat a bite.

Drayton Parslow The item that earned that praise once DC has chewed it a few times, decided they don't want it after all and spat it out. Usually into your hand.

Cropredy The stage at which it is decided that scissors are the only way to remove that unidentified congealed mass from DC's hair, after every other method has been attempted

Norton Juxta Kempsey The phenomenon on MN where two threads appear above one another and appear to tell a story, or where the last person to comment on a thread has an amusingly apt name

Alfrick The sound you utter just after you click 'Post Message' on a new thread and realise there's a typo in your thread title

Meaning of Liff has always been my favourite loo-time reading.

OHHHHHH and MoL and Deeper MoL are two seperate books, Deeper is not a revised edition :)

(Well that's what I thought - Amazon seems to think it's revised. IMHO it's definitely worth having both )

fakenham the false smile you do when you meet someone that you can't stand but have to be civil to

wispington the really quiet talking demanded of new parents when trying to put their newborn to bed

Bleak hey nook for when the holiday cottage isn't up to much

ladybank a woman of a certain age with a single, shelf-like bosom

troon the singing one does when one too many sherries have been downed

ardnamuchan the dirt on a country driver's car

badcaul

Jemimaville a group of people considerable posher than you

Ouse... the sperm coming back one - in our house that's called Chernobyl Fallout....

Tring the feeling of joy when you find money in the pocket of jeans you haven't worn for a while

Penkridge the hardened patch of skin that develops on the side of your middle finger as a result of writing for hours when you are taking exams

Stoke Gabriel The little forced whisper coming from behind a curtain at a primary school production, audible to the entire audience but evidently not the child it's aimed at (usually the one picking their nose or waving at their mum or with their costume tucked into their knickers)

Outer Hope What you tell your DH/DP you hope to achieve with a day off (something virtuous along the lines of 'finish all the ironing, tidy and clean the house from top to bottom, walk the dogs five times and broker peace in the Middle East')

Inner Hope What you ACTUALLY hope to achieve with a day off (get to nap time without the DC being on the naughty step more than they're off it, iron one shirt and actually sit down for five minutes with a cup of tea and some daytime telly)

Freathy The texture that whatever it was that formerly occupied that mug on the windowledge has now gone

Milton Keynes The sound a class of teenagers makes when an English teacher announces they're to be reading poetry today

London Apprentice (Cornwall, honest) What the same class would rather be talking about

Trinaluce - as you might expect, we've got MoL and DMoL here - the definitions from MoL are in DMoL but then there a load of additional ones. Twice as many, it says on the back.

Personal preference I suppose. I just like MoL better for some reason :)

Zeal Monachorum What you end up with when you try to muster fake enthusiasm for reading the same book for the fifth time in a row.

Clannaborough That group of mums at toddler group deeply involved in a conversation about their million mutual friends who you've never met (had this one this morning).

Murchington The bit that escapes the top of a nappy when a poo is slightly too big to be contained.

Great thread

Beckermonds - the surreptitious eyebrow movements you make when trying to quietly semaphore messages to your DH at a party

Blubberhouses - what your house is like at the end of a children's birthday party when everyone is over-tired

Wistow - the feeling of vague regret you get when you think back on everything you planned to do with your life when you were a teenager

Great Heck - the feeling you get when you arrive at work, turn round and see your child still sitting in the car seat, instead of being at nursery where you should have dropped them off en route

Tring,Outer Hope & Inner Hope are my three new words for the day.
Did you know that 2 and 3 year olds are commonly adding 6 plus words to their vocabulary every day? Or something along those lines !
I wonder how many I add to mine in a year ?

Ach I misread your posting - I thought you were asking. I also prefer the original.

aw my village has been Liffed!

I thought Milton Keynes was a collective term for PFB mothers who sanitise everything to within an inch of it's life.

Heh heh, well I live here and I am definitely not a Milton Keyne!

I lived there until a few years ago, now I am up the road - I am definitely not one either

Mamhead - Pregnancy brain that continues into motherhood.