The MN meaning of Liff

[AuntieBulgaria]

Douglas Adams and John Lloyd wrote a book called The Meaning of Liff that used existing place names to give names to commonly recognised feelings, experiences and objects that didn't already have a word for them.

For example:

Cotterstock - a piece of wood used to stir paint and thereafter stored uselessly in a shed in perpetuity.

I was thinking last night, as I stood behind my 3.5 year old daughter sort of herding/hooshing her upstairs to the bath avoiding a variety of potential distractions, there ought to be a word for this.

And then I thought, there are probably loads of commonly recognised parenting phemonema that could be 'Liffed'.

I browsed google maps this morning and came up with the following place name/ definition combos but would love to know yours too...

Kirtling - benign kettling required to keep small child going in the direction you need them to.

Poxwell - act of knowingly covering up of active chicken pox spots in order to make a quick dash into shop for milk or make an international plane flight home.

Ousden - constant flow of greeny/silver snot from small boys, the trail said snot leaves on the shoulders of all of your clothes; 'ooh, hang on, you've got a bit of ousden on that shirt'.

I am sure there must be good definitions for:

Two Mile Bottom
Throop
Weeley
Little Clacton and Great Clacton

And good place names for:

The poo that takes out an entire outfit.

The child-related objects (spare pants, raisins, playmobile duchesses) that fall out of your handbag in important business situations.

The face that teenagers pull when you suggest a healthy walk after lunch.

Love it... Marking my place and desperately trying to remember the name of the place I drove through earlier which made me snigger...

Haven't read all yet so it may have been mentioned but Bill Bryson also writes about place names... I think Nether Wallop was a favourite - sounds like what I rarely have to threaten dd1 with

Ilminster - a child who has been perfectly healthy all weekend and suddenly starts exhibiting signs of illness on monday morning, 'he's being a bit of an ilminster this morning'.

Whitelackington - The colour of all the white babygrows after being washed with something red and something blue, a kind of fetching, splodgy, sky-blue pink.

Auntie Bulgaria - crusty stuff found in an abandonned lunch-box is perfectly covered by the original work's Goosnargh, though I think that specifically referred to fridges. I'd like to suggest from my own area (4 neighbouring villages):

Fingest - dc's nasal probings.

Skirmett - dc's titanic efforts to dislodge the findings of Fingest

Frieth - trophy gained from successful Skirmett

Turville - the evident satisfaction shown by dc after consuming Frieth a milli-second before you arrive with a flannel / hanky / bleachy j-cloth / passing puppy etc.

Auntie B "I'm looking for the word that means the remains found in a forgotten lunchbox." - i offer you Ventongimps

Bromley - the last, passive stage of a previously tantruming child after an hour of screaming for denied toy at ELC or the like.

Knockholt - the quick bang of a childs head on the door frame whilst being carried.

St Mary's cray - the surreal sound of a playground of just let- out infants.

Scarlett you must be from my old stomping ground :o

Yardley Gobion - the fact that even when I'm exhausted and lying in bed I'm STILL pissing about on MN.

Also:

Saunton - coolest kid in dc's playgroup.

Braunton - the Saunton's sidekick: thuggish, self-appointed, generally male & normally ignored.

Slapton - the Saunton's other sidekick: sluttish, self-adoring, always female & too shrill to ignore.

Neasden - nice but nerdy child, routinely tortured by Braunton & Slapton by way of impressing Saunton; hence, any futile sacrifice inflicted on others in the name of vanity.

so glad this has been moved to Classics ...... superb

Wyke Champflower - the dad who yells at his DS from the sidelines during football training on Saturdays.

Horninghold Early morning cuddle when you know that what's poking you in the thigh is NOT anything in his pocket...

Tugby Early morning confirmation that no, it is NOT in his pocket

Cold Overton The feeling of dread when at the precise moment of Tugby you sense, rather than hear, your DC arrive in the doorway

Peatling Parva The noises uttered by said DC as they interrupt Tugby that you try to ignore

Peatling Magna The definite noises and potential tantrum that put an end to any further suggestion of Tugby and signify the start of Tur Langton

Tur Langton The act of a small child climbing into your bed, pressing their cold feet against your spine and nicking all the duvet

Duleek The sound you make when you step on a piece of lego.

Oulart A baby who should be asleep but who is awake and ready to play at 3 am

Knocknagoshel The feeling you get when you answer the door in a towel, expecting it to be your child returning from school only to find it is a man trying to get you to change your electricity supplier.

Dorridge The term given to any unexpected soft wet substance on the floor detected when walking around bare foot. This is more often than not organic.

Not strictly a place name but Flurbiling - when your sleeves get rucked up inside the sleeves of your coat as you put it on. Very annoying. To prevent this you must grab hold of the cuffs & 'de-flurbile' as you put your arms in.

Wantage - the state of urgently needing something from the toy section of Argos catalogue

Love oulart!

brilliant thread - love it!

Clent - what you do when doing pelvic floor exercises
Lickey End - when you eat an ice cream cone, bite the end of and suck all the ice cream out
Hagley - a little old lady who stops you when you are pushing your DC in a buggy to tell you her life story
Princes Risborough - posh breakfast cereal
Monks Risborough - not quite so posh!
Didcot - that shrapnel of stone / pit that hasn't quite made it out of dried fruit

Towcester- a kitchen appliance that has a vital part broken, rendering it unusable, but hasn't quite been thrown away yet, "just in case"
Ditto Kettering

and here are some NZ ones

Raglan a scruffy child
Timaru a kitten who is shy and hides under the bed
Oamaru a bolshy, bossy cat
Te Puke - what happens to DCs if they are prone to travel sickness
Hokitika - the sound you make when you clear your throat
Whangamata - collective name for under-the-breath mutterings of teenagers when asked to do something, usually by their parents
Taranaki - a greeting or farewell commonly used by famers

Here are a few in use in our house

Frog=Child
Horrorfrog=bad child
Grobbler=Child
SnotGrobbler=Child with cold
Pooter=Computer
Poot=Play on the computer
Bat=My mother
Fruitbat=Oh dear my mother is having one of those days
Wobblebottom=Large lady
Pack=Remote control
Heat the pack=press the remote

Come to think of this there are thousands. Does anyone outside this family understand a word?

love it! i am almost as amused by some of the actual placenames as their definitions!

frenchay - over-amorous teenage kiss with a floppy=haired yoof from the local private school.

stoke gifford - next stage on from a frenchay, usually done amidst much giggling in your bedroom while your parents watch tv downstairs. often just abbreviated to gifford.

fishponds (yes, really!) - where floppy-haired yoof ends up when your father catches you giffording....

and one more: yockenthwaite - the unstoppable projectile-vomiting incident done by a young baby in a smart public place (mine did a yockenthwaite last week.....). to be a proper yockenthwaite neither you nor the baby must have any spare clothes.