The MN meaning of Liff

[AuntieBulgaria]

Douglas Adams and John Lloyd wrote a book called The Meaning of Liff that used existing place names to give names to commonly recognised feelings, experiences and objects that didn't already have a word for them.

For example:

Cotterstock - a piece of wood used to stir paint and thereafter stored uselessly in a shed in perpetuity.

I was thinking last night, as I stood behind my 3.5 year old daughter sort of herding/hooshing her upstairs to the bath avoiding a variety of potential distractions, there ought to be a word for this.

And then I thought, there are probably loads of commonly recognised parenting phemonema that could be 'Liffed'.

I browsed google maps this morning and came up with the following place name/ definition combos but would love to know yours too...

Kirtling - benign kettling required to keep small child going in the direction you need them to.

Poxwell - act of knowingly covering up of active chicken pox spots in order to make a quick dash into shop for milk or make an international plane flight home.

Ousden - constant flow of greeny/silver snot from small boys, the trail said snot leaves on the shoulders of all of your clothes; 'ooh, hang on, you've got a bit of ousden on that shirt'.

I am sure there must be good definitions for:

Two Mile Bottom
Throop
Weeley
Little Clacton and Great Clacton

And good place names for:

The poo that takes out an entire outfit.

The child-related objects (spare pants, raisins, playmobile duchesses) that fall out of your handbag in important business situations.

The face that teenagers pull when you suggest a healthy walk after lunch.

Taunton when a child (usually eldest sibling) gets in that certain frame of mind where all they are capable of doing is baiting and winding up a younger sibling.

Widnes - when a child says she's desparate for the loo but only a teaspoonful is forthcoming

Nine Mile Burn - the amount of loo roll used the morning after a hot curry.

Little Wittenham - brief playground small talk (usually with Mumbles)

Long Wittenham - droning on at Mumbles to compensate for the fact that you still don't know their name.

Hampstead - the pet has expired.

Ambleside - the rare occasions when you've got enough time to walk at your toddler's speed and look at all the stones, ants etc

ROFL at:

Achiltibuie (n): The stifled expletive you utter when you tread on a Lego brick in bare feet but can't ACTUALLY swear because DC is right next to you.RR

Niddrie - naked and skinny

Corstorphine: making appreciative noises under ones breath when in the presence of a Letchworth

Letchworth: attractive person

Purse Caundle - the fluff/old receipts etc which accumulates under your change

Prittlewell - child who is abnormally capable of using a glue stick

Glossop - the result of craft lesson with majority not Prittlewells

Abergwyngregyn - roughly translates as 'go on, have another one' said by someone who has had more than enough already.

I have a prittlewell DD [proud]

(still needs assertive kirtling, though, and is a constant producer of chatteris)

Fantastic! I'm loving all of these

Nuneaton - the first six months of BLW

Scrivelsby Attaining your child's five-a-day only by ransacking the freezer for frozen peas & sweetcorn.

Witney - the little sore bump you can't leave alone when you've bitten the inside of your lip.

A Pode Hole is the hole in the bottom of a pair of shoes that manifests itself via surprisingly soggy socks when you are on the way to work and have no spare shoes or socks to hand.

A Stow Bardolph is the manoeuvre you do when travelling on a no-frills airline to conceal the fact that you have an extra piece of hand luggage such as a changing bag about your person, in addition to your handbag.

Petersham is somebody else's ham.

Great Clacton The sound of my DS practising his trumpet
( spent many a happy day in Clacton, Walton and Frinton as a child, on the beach or pier )

Frinton The expression of some when told that someone else spent their childhood days in Clacton

I grew up in Clacton, as it happens. (Imagines lots of frintonning... I'm not sure if its an expression of envy or mild contempt though)

We were always given the impression that Frinton was posher by my grandpa, but that might be because his family were from Frinton

East Hagbourne - what new mums look like in the morning after a night of no sleep

West Hagbourne - what those same mums look like come sunset

MarksPlaceToComeBackAndReadTiggaxx

Biggleswade The finely poised state of mind in an older baby or toddler when the slightest touch sends them into fits of giggles.