Blackbird in my bedroom! Get it out! Get it out!

[HumperdinkFangboner]

what do I do?!

I have NEVER moved so fast, was in bed it flew in the window like a bat out of hell and I've ran out slamming the door behind me.

Now tell me it's likely to fly out on his accord whilst I do the school run?

[ChinnityRhino]

'work of a moment' lol
would you like to show us?

you could video yourself so we can laugh cheer?

[HumperdinkFangboner]

OK, have rang council and RSPCA. Council will do nothing, RSCPA talked me through catching him and said if he needs help once I've caught him they'll take him but won't come out to me.

SO, I've got my old gas mask out, garden gloves, DS's dressing gown and DH's boots and I'm going in with an empty dog basket.

Pray for me.

[geordieminx]

And if it's a crow then you are doomed...

Have you seen Birds?? ((((shudder))))

[ChinnityRhino]

good luck

[geordieminx]

I would have lied like a bitch been creative with the truth and told the rspb that it was injured..

[keep]

Please be careful. The Common British Crow is very similar in appearance to the European Crow which due to climate changes and deforestation has seen an increase of attacks on humans.

Evening Post Hertfordshire edition 27th July 2010. Mrs Betty Tonsurton was the victim of an attack by a large black bird in her garden in Stevenage, Herts.

Betty had been hanging out her washing, in particular her husband's underwear when the bird swooped down onto her head where it gripped on tightly, leaving Betty to scream for help to her husband Trevor indoors.

Trevor tried in vain to chase off the bird attached to his wife's head using a rolled up Bettaware catalogue and resorted to distracting the bird by throwing his toupee in the air, at which the bird ceased it's atack on Betty and the couple fled indoors.

Although terribly shaken there was no injury to Betty's scalp and medics called to the scene believe she was saved from serious harm by the rollers she was wearing.

Two red sequin thongs were missing after the savage assault.

Police advised local people to stay indoors and local Ornithologist Dr Alan Sokdror was called in to identify the bird which could stiill be seen flying in the area from time to time. Dr Sokdror estsblished the bird as being the Notorious European Crow and believe's the crow was attracted to the sequins on Trevor's underwear which Betty was hanging out.

The Crow was not captured and eventually flew away after a five hour stsnd off with Police.

A Police spokesman for Hertfordshire Contabulary issued a warning to Stevenage residents to exercise caution with sequin garments being placed on washing lines. "We believe it is in the public's interest to keep these garments indoors where possible or to use the services of a launderette".



30th June 2010 Evening Post Hertfordshire Edition-A man has been arrested in connection with the theft of two red sequin thongs from a back garden in Stevenage earlier this week. Dr Alan Sokdror the man believed to be accused of this crime was unavailable for comment.

[MmeLindt]

Yes, set up webcam so that we can laugh admire your bravery.

[Vallhala]

If he needs help when caught DO NOT take him to the RSPCA - their version of help is to put to sleep.

I've bird rescue contacts if you'd like them or better still ring around your local vets and find one which doesn't just PTS or hand over to the RSPCA but which treats on site and then hands over instead to rescue/sanctuaries. They do exist but some vets are bastards about wildlife and will just call hte RSPCA to collect or PTS when the animal could be cared for so do check before handing him over.

Chances are he'll be fine, just stressed, and in no need of help once out of your bedroom.

Funny innit... I can't imagine being scared of a bird.... blood tests yes, injections sure, but a bird...? :)

[threestars]

Better get some rollers on too, then!

[SwearyMary]

Wonders if Humperdink has managed it?

Leave the windows open and create yourself a pie.....4 and 20 is what you need. HTH.

[MmeLindt]

ROAR at Keep.

[threestars]

And maybe wave some sequinned thongs around outside the window?

[HumperdinkFangboner]

i tried, i can't do it.

he's so scary, he flapped again, I screamed but it was muffled by the gas mask, he calmed down and stopped flapping so instead of running out i moved forward an inch, he started wildly flapping again and off I ran.

I'm crying a little bit.

[Suncottage]

OP

Why do you keep googles in your bedroom? Do you foresee attacks by rabid small helpless huge firebreathing blackbirds?

[Intrigued]

[threestars]

Awww, so sorry. Could you beg a neighbour to help??

[ChinnityRhino]

you poor thing

sorry but

maybe just leave the door shut and wait for your dad?

[Nancy66]

ok - so leave it.
maybe when you collect the kids you can ask for help from somebody then?

[MmeLindt]

oh, poor you.

Go downstairs and have a cup of tea and some chocolate. Wait for your Dad to come at 6pm.

[LRDTheFeministDragon]

Can you tell us more about what he is? If he's a crow/jackdaw, he will probably be quite gentle. They're inclined to be tame, so he might flap but would be unlikely (despite the above post!) to try to hurt you, I think.

Can you very slowly put a long broom handle or something near him and let him hop on? THe slower you are the less likely he will start flapping.

[Ormirian]

Why are you scared of it? Poor thing

Just leave the window wide open and leave it alone.

When you say blackbird - so you mean yellow bill, sings a lot, or black bird - ie fuck-off great raven which is what I'd assume from the fuss you are making

[HumperdinkFangboner]

if they didn't have wings, claws and a beak I wouldn't find them scary!

suncottage - DH is military, hence the gas mask and bedroom goggles.

I don't want him to die, do you reckon he'll be OK waiting for my Dad?

[Ormirian]

Is he sitting on your bedpost quothing 'Nevermore'?

[Vallhala]

As Nancy said. Chasing him around is doing neither of you any good. Just leave him and wait til the school run, see if he's gone and if he hasn't enlist help from someone at the school gates.

Guaranteed that the bugger will have gone by the time you return with a willing helper, it's sods law!

[UntamedShrew]

OP I would also be terrified and crying. I know all those saying he is smaller than you mean well, but if you are scared of something it isn't always rational and birds are bloody scary if you ask me! I am fine with spiders but birds freak me out. All that flapping and scratchy looking feet and beaks.

Ugh.

I would call a local handyman company. I call them for all sorts of random things, they usually laugh and send someone to come to my assistance. £60 well spent.

[HumperdinkFangboner]

he's big, black all over apart from his head which is grey.