dh threw wine at the wall

[mario91]

we were having an argument and he fancies sharon and we said a lot of bad things to ech other but he threw wine at the wall and id just painted it and so aibu to think he should paint it because he threw the wine but i said id decorate the house and he uses this as an excuse to say he shouldnt have to do it but he threw the wine.

Do wasps have tongues?

Classy, Sharon.

But why are you wearing men's shoes?

Are they for wasp-stamping?

Sharon, you look just as I imagined!

She went to put the dinner on - yes - but am I the only one who finds that sinister?

Her DH has a stomach ulcer, and the OP has just been scoffing truffles! Who, therefore, is this so-called dinner for?

It's all about ze leetle grey cells.

yes you can't be too careful with wasps you know. i find brogues and knee socks a must when i am cupping my breasts and gurning at the camera in teh skud

the dead wasp is INDEED a dead wasp that MAY have died in mysterious circumstances but we woNt know until the autopsy

the truffles are tasty belgium

the wine glass is from a cheap Tesco pack of 4

(the plot thickens)

My mother threw a block of ice-cream at my brother once. Back when ice-cream came in cardboard rectangles. Anyway, she missed, and it slid in slow motion down the wall. In her defence, my brother was obnoxious in those days.
There were no wasps involved, sadly.

Love it - a total hijacking of thread - can that be added to the whiteboard? This has really helped me cope with windy crying baby (I'm reading this on my phone while jiggling DD)
Glass of wine would help too - any spare for me??

What flavour ice cream was it?

It was white. I'm guessing vanilla. In the seventies, vanilla icecream was the colour of snow. None of this "cream" bollocks back then.

I am fucking sickened by this thread.
Mumsnet at its worst. Laughing, laughing about wine being purposely wasted??

It's sick. Disgusting I tell you.

I will be reporting.

Ah yes, I remember it well. I thought it may have been that white, pink and brown sort. Neopolitan was it called? That would have made a pretty rainbow as it slid down the wall
We used to cut it into small blocks with a couple of those flat wafers, one each side as a icecream sandwich pudding after tea.

I don't think Sharon is a person at all. I think 'sharon' is a colloquial term for sex.

Therefore Mr OP was teling the OP that he fancied 'sharon' (aka a roll in the hay/a bit of howz yer father/a bit of slap and tickle), and she said bad words because he didn't believe that she had a truffle headache.

Also wine, in this scenario, is not wine. It is symbolic. Frustrated in his pursuit of 'sharon', and somewhat worked up as a consequence, he did not throw 'wine' at the wall but something else. (I will not clarify further; I know all MNers are clever enough to fill in the gaps).

The wasp is, as suggested earlier, not a wasp, but a red herring. Herrings should be served with a little mustard and a green salad, not left lying around on floors. They are not usually red either- the OP should take this up with her fishmonger.

'Putting the dinner on'- perhaps the OP has changed her mind about having 'sharon' and has gone off to decorate her nether regions with parsley and her bosoms with meringue nests.

parsley and meringue nests would not compliment each other. She needs to rethink her culinary offerings.

A friend of mine has fork prong scarring in the middle of her otherwise pristine forehead due to her sister throwing a fork across the table during a particularly robust family discussion at tea. Apparently it lodged in her head and had to be pulled out. Again superb wrist-flick action from the perpetrator. A word of warning. OP should hide the forks.

Intersting point Shodan. However,

Sharon = Sharon Wicks = dicks.

He fancied some cock. And more than one judging by the use of the plural. The OP couldn't oblige, ergo wine against wall.

Obviously.

I feel like it's my three year old talking:

When I was a nursery last yesterday William Connor called me a banana head but not William Parker coz he's got blond hair and when I went to stay at grandma's we saw Henry and Thomas and Thomas didn't eat his crisps no because I like crisps can I have some crisps because crisps are my favourite and daddy's favourite can I watch some peppa pig?

Are we talking real truffles or chocolate truffles?

I've heard that white wine helps to get red wine stains out of things, so could you throw white wine at the wall? It could save you both from painting

Think it must be Walls ice-cream that you remember, twas the only ice cream in the seventies. it was a strange yellow colour (vanilla) but I have very happy memories of it.
Ice cream is all poncey now.

I think you have it there. That would explain the Bad Words.

I went to hispotal earlier this week. I'm sure I saw that Jezebel, Sharon. She must have caught my eye though because she moved too quickly for me to hit her with a moribund wasp.

This is one of those threads that makes my head explode.