Dear *

[OTheHugeManatee]

Dear boss

Why can't you stop micromanaging and let everyone get on with the jobs you hired us to do?

Dear self

Stop procrastinating.

Dear period

Why must you always malignantly wait until I'm wearing pink knickers before you put in an appearance?

Dear Tyzer2001

I can relate to your post because the last time I drank cider (aged 20ish) I came home with a "Men at work" sign and left it in my parents hallway

Tles

Dear anxiety,
Will you please fuck off and leave me alone?
malinkey

Dear DS,
I love you to pieces, I'm so proud of you and I love spending time with you. I'm sorry if I get a bit grumpy sometimes - it's not your fault.
Love Mummy x

Dear sister,
No, I don't think he's right for you. Being with him is making you selfish and you don't seem very happy, no matter what you say. You deserve better. I wish you knew it.
malinkey x

Dear DH and DD,

I love you both but please please can I just have half an hour to read a book/MN or waste time as I choose without you interrupting me.

Dear DH,

No I don't know where your keys/glasses/coat/game etc... are and given that I didn't have them last nor would I likely to be. FGS just look for them yourself will you!

ZX

Dear darling children I love you all the time. And I love you both equally.

Dear work colleagues please try and help work out how to see 110 children with suspected autism in the next month in a multidisciplinary team according to national standards whilst giving the children and families the time they need and deserve without the staff do do it and just please stop telling me that things are working well because if they were working well how the fuck did so many children get to be on the waiting list?

Dear Seaside

Eight days till I see you! Please be sunny.

Dear chocolate,

Please bugger off out of my life and stop making me eat you! I am becoming obsessed with you, and feel our relationship is no longer healthy. I am considering employing that paul mckenna man (or similar type man/woman) to make me hate you and vomit when i smell you, so consider yourself warned!,

Thanks PAR

Dear DH,

Please stop going on all these bloody nights out. It's not fair. I do love you though, even though you're an idiot.

Dear Maverick the Cat,

Please stop throwing up on my bed/carpet. I hate it.

Dear DD,

You are wonderful and perfect and I love you so much it makes me cry. xxxxxxxx

Dear DD

I love you and will support your decision for liquid treatment instead of medication but you are sooo unhappy and struggling with this I think I would rather you just took the tablets.

I know I can't tell you but I am soo worriedabout how you and how low you are feeling

love
mumxxxxx

Dear CaveMum

Sending baby wishes to u. Have faith

Mummylouise

Oh, and Dear New Company for DH,

Please offer him a better job than the one you've been talking about, he needs to escape his horrible boss before he has a heart attack. But he is better than you're giving him credit for.

Also, shit loads of money wouldn't go amiss right now :o

Cheers,

NYP

Dear bank balance,

Oops. Sorry. But he will love it so so much. SO much.

Dear kids,

I love you.

That's it, really.

Mum xx

Dear ...

It was me! I know you're not interested, but I think about you lots and lots and lots. I hope it made you smile. And I covet you, I really do. What I would like to do to you... make your tea, wave you off to work, as well as the obvious stuff!

Ah well.

VDOD

Dear Mr VDOD

Stop being so grumpy (although you are getting a lot better than what you were like) 18 months - 2 year ago I don't think you fully comprehended how utterly rubbish I felt, how sad and lonely. I will always want out dcs to be in a happy home with mum and dad, but pleeeease take the lead a bit more: you can take them out by yourself to the park. You can get them dressed by yourself on a weekend and then go out for a couple of hours without needing me to be there. constantly.

We are getting back on track but sometimes I still worry that you're never going to be very happy..

VDOD

Dear DS

Don't listen to school. You've wanted to be a soldier for so long that none of us can imagine you as anything else and I will fight them to the death for your right to be a little boy and play soldiers at school even if it means constantly deaiing with referrals to social services.

I am so proud of you wanting to defend your country and even prouder of the fact that even though I can't do very much right now thanks to surgery, you still try to do everything you can to help and very carefully hug me so not even the smallest part of me is hurt. I love you soldier boy.

Mummy
x

Dear DD

I know that you're a teenager now and that life isn't easy. I remember what it's like, really, I do. Please then, don't tell me I've never been there, or couldn't possily understand. It hurts me a lot when you do that. I am however, very proud of the fact that you know what you want to be and have a life plan that doesn't involve children until you've seen the world.

I also love those little flashes of the little girl I knew who wanted nothing more than to wear my clothes and giggle with me while we ate sweets from the stash that daddy doesn't know about. Can we have them more often please angel eyes? I love you no matter what, always remember that.

Mummy
x

Dear DH

It's been a rocky road for the both of us and I never thought that we'd be getting back together again. I'm glad I was wrong. I just wish I could find a way for everyone to accept that people can, and do change. I still love you moohead.

Wifey
x

Dear Boiler

Please stop leaking and be really easy to fix if we do get a plumber tomorrow. Its like you knew it was Friday.

Dear DD

Go to BLOODY sleep. I'm tired after clearing up all the boiler water.

Dear DD,

I know you have sneaked out of bed and are sitting on the bottom stair watching Question Time. I am really quite fed up with rapid return and wish you would stay in bed like your big brother.

Mummy x

Dear Next-Door-But-1 neighbour

Thanks for removing Patsy for me this morning from our other neighbour's garden. Apologies if my screams scared you but I am not good with dead chickens. Was abit of a shock this morning. Did you really stick her in their wheelie bin? I cannot look.

Thanks for helping me refill their bloody ridiculous pond after discovering it's leaking. Meet you at the pond tomorrow with more buckets? And could you do me another favour and remove the feet of the dead bird under their dining table. I can't find the rest of the bird. Perhaps the cats ate the rest? Or shall we pretend we never saw the feet?

Oh and please don't tell them I broke their burglar alarm and had to get it repaired. Don't want them to think I am completely incapable of looking after their home when the go away on hols.

If they give me the usual biccies and wine as a thank you - I'll leave them on your doorstep.

Love from your neighbour.

Dear S

Your partner is such a knob, I mean, the biggest dickhead going. Why are you sticking with him when he is using you and going to leave you in the shit time and time again? It's your life but your child deserves better abd what fucking use is having a temper lashing dad and drama queen mum going to do? FFS, ca you really not see what is happening, and going to happen in the future?

Me

Dear CP

You are gorgeous, intellegent, have a fantastic career and house.. so why in god's name are you with him? Yes, he's alright, but he has done rather well with his crap job, no desire to do anything and drunkenly getting a bit fresh with someone else.. I would never in a million years thought you would sett;e for this when you are a fantastic example of loveliness...

Dear *

Don't marry him, he is an utter, utter, utter cock.

I don't know you, but I know him all too well, and I wish I could warn you IRL. You wouldn't listen and maybe you won't see it for a while, if ever.. but if you have any doubts at all, you should take note of them.

Dear Today

Kindly fuck off and never happen again please. It was shit.

Regards,
Stress

Dear DD's teeth,
Come the fuck through will you. I can't take much more.
Thanks.

Dear Vomit

Please leave and let my gorgeous dd get some sleep. Plus there aren't any more clean sheets.

Now be gone.
Love mummyrev

Dear Gran,

Please stop falling over and breaking bits of yourself, it's scary. Also please magically regain the ability to walk around so that you can move back into your lovely house. And your eyesight would be good too - your paintings were amazing.

Lots of love

E&M

Dear New Job,

Please let me be really really good at you, I am bricking it slightly.

Many thanks

E&M

Dear Spirit of Wit & Lively Conversation,

Please deign to visit yourself on more of the men in my immediate vicinity, especially the pretty ones. How am I supposed to enjoy my new life of decadent singleness if I can't get through a conversation for yawning?

Yours as ever,

E&M

Dear Me,

Show some restraint tomorrow and don't eat half of that cake - you can only blame the fat on the baby for so long...plus it would actually be nice if your DH and DS got some.

Cheers my dear x

Also Dear OTheHugeManatee

Thanks for this thread - what a brilliant 'snap shot' of MNutters I mean MNetters

Cheers x