Dear *

[OTheHugeManatee]

Dear boss

Why can't you stop micromanaging and let everyone get on with the jobs you hired us to do?

Dear self

Stop procrastinating.

Dear period

Why must you always malignantly wait until I'm wearing pink knickers before you put in an appearance?

Dear drivers everywhere

Please please slow down on residential roads, especially parents driving their dear LOs to school and they're late and so drive at 40+mph. Stop driving half switched on.

It upsets me to see parents who have no thought for anyone else. At least I can sort of understand (not forgive) single young male speed demons. I'd hope parents should have some thought for other peple's kids at least?

Is it really so important that you'd risk a life?

Cheers

Dear MrsArch,

I second every word you say. I always taught my boys to think for an extra 30 seconds before they did something - there are consequences for our every action.

Well said
Love Shabbs x

Dear people in the shops on the high street.
Thank you for being so nice and letting us put the flyers on display. For some reason I was really dreading bringing them round.

Dear nasty cystitis feelings from last night.
I can't believe you went away. Thank you so very muchly.

Dear hot cross bun
If you knew how much snackery I'd gobbled today you would do the decent thing and cling to the inside of your packet.

Dear builder
I really didn't think you would ever finish rendering the wall but you really have turned a corner today. Well done.

Dear low carb diet,
Thank you for working and for getting me back to the way I used to be. I could not live with you at this level forever but you have done wonders for the way I feel about myself.

Dear botttle of wine,
Stop looking at me. It's too early even though it's Friday.

Dear summer,
Please hurry up.

Dear Ironing Pile,

I've managed to get to nearly the bottom of you. Please do not multiply again!

LGC

Dear MIL and Mother,

I will lose weight, just please accept that it really has nothing to do with you both. And I'm not just cheerful because I'm fat, i really am a glass half full person.

And MIL, I will buy that table.

LGC

Dear DH,

I do love you very much.

LGC

Dear DB
I wish I'd written the letter a week earlier. I wish I hadn't been so stubborn. I wish you'd met my DH. I wish you'd answered the phone to DM and DF rather than tying that noose. I wish I didn't have to miss you the rest of my life.
Your DlittleSis

Dear DH
Thank you for being so amazing. Please don't get fed up with me. I'm trying to cope I really am
Your ever loving DW

Dear S
Even though we hardly saw each other anymore I still thought of you as a brother and miss you so much. Our family will never get over losing you.
NG xx

Dear John
It's now 13 years later and I still think about you every day. I never played "games" I just loved you so intensely I didn't know how to behave normally

Dear kids,

how about an early night tonight?

love Mum x

Dear Superiors at School:

I know you think that my student can't do much because of her ASD. She can . And I know I'm just a lowly aide, but I know that kid inside and out and she can do anything if you push her. "Normal" is a very wide span, and I believe with every fiber of my being that there is room for her on it. We just have to work hard and make her do the same. I know you think I'm being stubborn and naieve, but I'm just right. And I'm not sure why you don't see that, since almost every single sentence you say begins with, "well, it turns out you were right last time but..." I am right. I know I'm not supposed to be, because I don't have a degree and I don't take all the inservices and I don't put all children with autism in the same box, but I am. She is not "children with autism" . She is one child and she can do better. I am right. I am good, very good, at what I do. (I'm not being conceited because trust me, I am good at very little else.) But I am good at this. I know what I'm talking about.

I AM RIGHT.

Sincerely, Cheerful

Dear DC

Please go to sleep early so I can shag your father.

Love Fab5.

Dear World and God,

please return my beautiful big brother to me, he died aged 55 suddenly 2 weeks ago and I haven't stopped crying.

He was a really great guy, hardworking, just found love again after a drought.

Why take him?

Of all the evil people walking this earth......

Dear Melikalikimaka

I'm so sorry about your wonderful brother. He sounds lovely. Sometimes life is so unfair.
Thinking of you.

love Seth xxx

Dear Cancer
Fuck off and leave them both alone.

Dear DH
Thank you for everything - you are my best friend - you treat me with such love and respect and you always put me first.
Being with you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Even when you are ill you are more concerned with my comfort and well being than your own.
Love IL

Dear Big Dog
When you squash yourself into little dog's basket you look very foolsih. Also you can't be comfortable.
Little Dog's basket is not better than your basket, honestly.
Love IL

Dear Boss
Thank you for being so supportive of all my ideas and plans this term - much appreciated.
IL

Dear Fatuous Colleague
Thank goodness the holdiays have arrived and I will not have to listen to your vacuous whittering for two weeks.
IL

Dear 20 week old embryo,

It is now time for you to stop giving me morning sickness and migraines. I am fekking bored of it and it's really beginning to put me off the idea of you. I hope you are a bloody amazing baby to make up for the last four and a half months of shit you've put me through. Oh, and if you come earlier than 37 weeks and I have to have you in hospital (instead of having a home birth) then I might just bloody leave you there.

See you in 17-20 weeks' time ( and not before)

Your loving mother.

Dear Friday night

You're my favourite part of the week. I wonder if you might be so kind to last just a leeeeeeeeetle bit longer?

And, while you're extending yourself (so to speak), please could you find something good to be put on television? Tonight, for example, it is all - without exception - shit.

Yours in anticipation,

Imps

Thanks Seth, feeling very low at moment. Nice to know you.

Dear MIL- I'm a nice person, please like me. Please look at your grandchildren, they're lovely boys and even if you don't deserve them, I'd like them to have a relationship with you.

Dear FIL- it's okay to let go now.

Dear Dad- Please don't contest Mum's will, you're tearing us apart with your selfishness and you just don't get it. Of course I don't want to chat.

Dear Mum- I miss you and I want you back and I don't know how to live without you. I'm sorry, so sorry, I'm sorry you ever had to be on your own. I would give anything for one more day with you.

Dear DSs- You are my world. I'm sorry I get grumpy and cry sometimes. You are amazing.

Dear DH- Thank you for loving me.

Darling demented,

Sprout was not ready. Sprout is gone to tell the other sprouts all about you. They will send you one that is ready. Don't hate. Thank Sprout, and dh and quietly get ready for next visit.

Have been exactly there.

Dear Melika,

I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. I hope you can take heart in the fact that others are thinking of you at this time.

BAH

Dear DH

Please hurry up and come home from work. I miss you and 7am will come along too quickly and you'll be gone again.

Your loving DW xxxxx

Dear XH

Thank you for leaving me. Thank you for giving me the chance to be the person I could never have been if we'd stayed together.

Dear *

Thank you for helping me be the person I am turning into. I hope that either (i) this possible way of keeping you in my life works out, or (ii) our paths cross again in the future.

Dear X

You can't hide for ever. I will get you.

Dear A

I miss you.

FAB5.

Dear mum and dad,
Moving away from our hometown when we did was yhe most traumatic thing that has every happened to me and I still cry about it. I know you love tour new life, and you deserve it. I agree that moving away from my old friends has made me a "better" person, I'm married, have a good career (which means me living in a city 200 miles from you and 450 miles from my friends) but no one ever asked me if I actually wanted to. I didn't. I'm lonely.

Dear dh,
I love you, your wonderful. But it makes me another level of sadness knowing that I can never have you, my family and my friends all in one place. Your job is everything to you, and I'm so proud of you, but I'm stuck here, miles away from my friends and family and I'm lonely. It's also hard to get pregnant when your only home two nights a fortnight.

My beautiful family, I'm so lonely, and I miss you all so much. I sometimes close my eyes and wish really really hard that we could just all live in the same frigging county. Me, dh,and you.

Thanks,
Black coffee

Dear MIL,
You were a poor excuse for a mother and your children didn't deserve the things you did to them, especially abandoning my DH when you knew he had a mental health problem and 3 months after his father had died - he was only 16 for fucks sake! You then condoned his half sister stealing ALL of his inheritance and didn't report her for fraudently spending thousands of pounds that weren't hers ? even when the bank said you should. Why on earth you kept allowing her to manipulate you into 'borrowing' thousands more while you were old and weak is beyond me. The whole family hates her and we only put up with her for your funeral. I?ve been watching DH mourn you, then he beats himself up because he is convinced you never loved him. I'm glad I got to challenge you on the phone when you refused to help him again the year before last; but as I said at the time, you forget that I was there and I heard the things you said and saw the things you did. You are a liar and there's no point in denying the truth. Strange thing is, he still loved you, you were the only mother he had.

Dear FIL,
I wish I had known you and that you could see DH now. You would absolutely love your grandchildren! DH and I spend lots of time in your home country and may even move there one day. He talks about you often and I know you are always in his thoughts. You wouldn?t believe what your wife did to the family after you went, it was truly despicable!

Dear DH,
It hurts to see you going through this pain, I wish I could do something to fix it all. She must have loved you in her own way, how could she not!? You are doing so well and I'm so proud you haven't turned back to the weed when you could have. I'm also proud of you for staying off it so long! I love you but I don't love your illness and what it does to you, I hate it and it's not fair on any of us. . Thank you for being such a wonderful Dad to the 3 DC's and for taking on DS and DD1 as your own, they really do love you! You are DD2's world and she absolutely adores you - please use this as motivation to get yourself better or at least manage through the illness. I pray that one day when she is older you will be well enough to come to her school plays/sports days etc. You know me better than anybody on this planet and I?m so glad we found each other again. I?m sorry I married xh and lost my virginity to him; I honestly didn?t know you cared all those years ago. But we?re here now and somehow struggling through life! Please listen to me a bit more, it pisses me off when you draw too much money out at the cashpoint and I?m trying to balance the finances so carefully. I know you?ll never really ?grow up? but you are an amazing Daddy, even if you do piss me off on a daily basis! It would be nice if we could have a ?sesh? soon, I need one of those fabulous multiples, they are really, really nice! xx831xx

Dear DS,
I am so proud of you and the way you have handled splitting up with your gf recently. It took guts to do it but you did the right thing and hopefully you can live a fulfilling and free life now. Please stick out college ? I know you don?t like it but I honestly don?t think you could handle a full time job right now. What a relief you remembered to take the rubbish out this week as I think we would have had full blown wars if you hadn?t again. We love having your mates here, sorry that they still visit when you?re out but I guess it?s an unofficial youth club here these days! Love from Mum xx

Dear DD1,
I am very proud of you too! You are growing into such a lovely young lady and the world really is your lobster. I pray that you continue to study hard so you can be a millionaire when you grow up which is your current dream. You are thoughtful and loving and beautiful and you are your own person, I couldn?t want more for you! Love from Mum xx

Dear DD1,
Well, you?re only 3 but you are absolutely amazing! Those months in the hospital when you were little frightened the life out of all of us. We have learnt more from you than anybody else in the world, you are an over-comer and truly an inspiration! I pray you don?t have to have a wheelchair when you get bigger but no worries if you do, you?re still our little pickle either way. Please try to use the toilet more, I?m worried you will never be able to know if you need a poo and until you start using the toilet we?ll never know. I do worry about your future, I?ve been told it?s natural; but one thing I?m sure of is that whatever is thrown at you, you will tackle it head-on and you won?t let it hold you back. You are amazing! Love from Mummy xx

Dear ovarian cyst/ovaries,
I was so relieved to hear that you weren?t cancerous, but I really wish you?d just fuck off and stop causing me so much pain when I have a family and house to run. I got over a hysterectomy and I?ll get over you if I have to but it would be so much easier if the doctors just took you away, you?ve served me well over the years but it?s time for us to go our separate ways. I don?t relish the thought of clinical menopause, but anything is better than this pain!

I really could write forever, I have letters in my head for my parents and lots of other people but I have to get the kids to bed. Thank you OP for this, it is truly cathartic!!!

Oh and dear Demented,
I lost 2 sprouts too, it wasn't anybodies fault and I'm sure all our sprouts are playing somewhere on a cloud and having fun, big hugs, my heart goes out to you xxx