Dear *

[OTheHugeManatee]

Dear boss

Why can't you stop micromanaging and let everyone get on with the jobs you hired us to do?

Dear self

Stop procrastinating.

Dear period

Why must you always malignantly wait until I'm wearing pink knickers before you put in an appearance?

Dear Husband,
Stop acting like a teenage stoner and take some responsibility.

Dear Ovaries,
Stop making me feel so shit every month.

Dear Dad,
Thanks for the financial bail out!

Dear Daughter
I am so happy we have 2 weeks off together!

Dear Me,
Relax during the next 2 weeks!

P.S

Dear OP,
I love this thread xx

Dear Bullies

Do you realise that your name-calling and bullying for the 5 years we were at senior school together has utterly destroyed my self esteem and has led to me having depression for the rest of my life? Do you know that your treatment of me led to me being suicidal at 14 years old? Do you even care?

SDTG

Dear Mum

When I told you I was being bullied, I needed some support from you, not to be dismissed in such a way that I never felt I could tell you again, so the bullying went on for 5 years and has blighted my life.

SDTG

Dear Depression

Fuck the fuck off and then fuck off again. Let me enjoy my life and my kids and my dh - and give said kids and dh a break from depressive me. I don't expect to be happy all the time - I would just like a sense of peace and wellbeing - and to like myself a bit - just a bit.

SDTG

Dear DH

You have been a saint, putting up with me all these years - I know I am a useless wife and housewife, and you end up doing so much stuff that I should do - and I know I am a waste of space. I wish I had a sex drive, so I could make you happier. And I wish I budgetted better so you didn't have to worry about money.

But if you decide to wake me up at 6.24am by crashing the dishes around the kitchen whilst you empty the dishwasher, I will not be answerable for my actions.

SDTG

Dear Sleep,

Where are you? Why won't you come to me when I put the light off at night? Why do I have to toss and turn half the night, before you plunge me into a deep sleep that is well-nigh impossible to drag myself out of when the alarm goes off.

SDTG

Dear dses

You are messy, cheeky, loud, and annoying, and I love you so much. Sorry for being such a shit mother.

Mum

Dear Nosy and Deemented

I am sending you the most loving hugs I can - Dee, it was not your fault, and your sprout was soo loved. Nosy - I hope all goes well for you and your dd - you are an amazing and brave woman!

SDTG

Dear DP

I love you so much, you've been great looking after ds whilst Ive been lying on the sofa with a god awful sickness bug. I cant wait to marry you in June and be your wife for the rest of my life.
But you know this already because I tell you all the time :)

Love always
DH20

Dear DS

You're so little and chubby and look so cute crawling around. You get up to mischief and rarely sleep well at night but I love you so much and you really make me laugh

lots of love
mummy

Dear Senior Management

We all think its an undeserved jolly for you to go on an offsite for 2 days. But please do it more often, particularly on a Friday. We are all really enjoying having long lunches and spending the afternoon discussing our tax codes and whether our April payslips are better or worse than last tax year, then blaming the government for making us poor. If you come back we might have to actually do some work (horror!)

love MichaelaS

Dear fate,
Thank you. This life has turned out better than I ever imagined it would. I know it's a lot to ask but please let the scan results keep coming back clear.

Dear broad bean seeds,
I do apologise for failing to notice it hadn't rained and neglecting to water you. On the up side I've now got more room for the borlotti beans. rip little seeds.

Dear Friend
Please stop complaining about having no money - you've got loads.

Dear DS2
Please stop crapping in your pants and do it in the potty. I love you nonetheless

Dear DS1
Please stop winding up your brother. I love you too.

Dear DH
Please show me you love me. I love you.

2s1h

Dear Homebase online,

You really are a giant ball of suck.

You should not be allowed to brand yourself under the same name as the stores you having nothing to do with that actually have pretty good customer service. Yours on the other hand is shite.

This week you have cost me a lot of money that we don't have an you don't seem to care at all.

Your entire customer service department should be sacked, except Harry, who seems quite nice but actually doesn't have the power to do anything. The rest of them are a bunch of rude, lying, useless idiots

Your customer

Gracie

Dear Ingrid & Chulita,

I wish we could gang up on it. We could have placards: 'Pick on someone your own size'.

Thanks
Rainy

Dear Jules,

Of course you were right. You were his Mummy, and Mummys just know.

Rainy

Dear people that post on the forum I own,
The reason that I don't attend the website socials you organise as 'admin' is because I am a woman. I have no idea why you have always assumed I am a man. I didn't correct you at first because your blantant sexism amused me. Now I feel slightly embarrassed by the amount of flirtatious IM's I get from other women and I think if I 'came out' as a woman then you'd all think I was a bit creepy. I never told you I was a man. You assumed.
ps I troll the forum and regularly ban myself.

Jelly

Dear DS
I am sorry you get angry when you are nervous, I don't cope well with being nervous either.
It is your party tomorrow your friends are coming, you will love it, I know you will, and I understand that means that today you are going to have a hard day. I will deal with it as best as I can, I just hope we manage to end the day as friends. x

Dear Amazon,
Thankyou for your prompt delivery of my cupboard locks. Not only does it mean DS can't trap his fingers anymore, it also means I won't be tied to the house tomorrow waiting for deliveries, so can have a much-needed day with my mum. And I'll get to watch the wonderful relationship DS has with my dad keep on blooming.
You will be getting mucho good feedback. Thankyouthankyouthankyou.
SG

Dear mum,
I'm sorry you're suffering and there's nothing I can do about it. You're my best friend and all I can do is give you a happy, gurgly baby-toddler to cuddle.
HTH
Your daughter.

Dear everyone on this thread,
Thanks for the great read
There's a whole website devoted to these letters, and some of them are really moving.
ourunsentletters.com/
More procrastination reading material for you!

SG

Dear people who've replied to this post,
You very funny, make me laugh lots.

Dear weird NCT "friend",
Stop copying my facebook posts. Creepy.

Dear dd,
You are the best thing in my life, I'm so lucky to have you. Please don't become like the yelly teenage girl downstairs, I will die inside.

Dear Doggy

Please stop eating grass. It makes you fart and it smells feckin noxious.

Thanks ever so

The-one-who-feeds-you-yet-you-prefer-DH

Dear Mum

I know we don't talk about it much but I want you to know, you're my hero. Not only did you put up with our sperm donor until you knew we could be safe, once you managed to divorced him, you still let us see him and work out what a tit he was without once disparaging him.

I know we weren't easy to deal with, three kids under 10 would try anyone's patience and to do it while working every hour god sent is simply amazing to me. I never realised how much you sacrificed for us until I had my own and I wish there was some way that I could make up for all the stupid stuff I did as a teenager. I just hope my apology was enough.

Now it's finally hit me that you're nearly 60 and that all you've ever done is try to help us and I wonder why it took me so damned long to realise. now that I have realised, I'm going to enjoy every single second I have with you because I know that all too soon, I'll have to use all those lessons you taught me by myself because you won't be around to talk to. I love you mum.

Yours in Awe,
DD
x

Dear Dad,

I know I'm not biologically yours, heck, we're not even actually related but thankyou for letting me adopt you at a time in my life where I was losing the plot. Thankyou for saving my life when I was 13 even though it made you break your promise, I will never be able to make it up to you but I'll try so very hard anyway because I don't want to let you down.

Thankyou for all the holidays you took me and mum on to give us both a break, thankyou for giving my DCs presents every holiday and signing them as Grandad and thankyou for caring when someone else wouldn't. Most of all, thankyou for setting me on a path that didn't involve trying to kill myself and wanting to become a better person instead. You rock Dad and I just wanted you to know that even though I still act like a silly teenager around you sometimes. I love you.

Yours affectionately,
Your strangely adopted daughter
x

Dear Sperm Donor

You don't deserve the title of 'Father'. You never did. Don't think we didn't notice the beatings, the cruel words or the way that mum would wilt when you came home. We thank God every day that you left her and that she divorced you. We will never forgive you though, especially for trying to run her over.

I promised you then, at the court hearing, that you would die cold and alone with nobody to care about you and guess what? I'm right. Denying the behaviour was one step too far. I bet it would kill you to know that all your children are in contact and we all hate you with a passion that would make civil war seem like a tea party.

Oh and, before I sign off on this, I want you to know that we're all waiting for the final confirmation of your death because we have a promise, you see. As soon as we know, we're all getting together at your graveside so we can all finally laugh at you and let go of the shadow you created across our lives.

Yours Spitefully,
Me.

Dear Everyone,
Sorry for the length
Sephrenia
x

Dear me,

Enough already, you have said what you needed to, had a cry, felt sorry for yourself now move on, ya miserable bag. Smile

From me

Dear Rainy

Thank you

Jules

Dear Baby,

Thank you for listening to me yesterday and not making an appreance during Peter Kay. Just to let you now that we are all systems go again and you are more than welcome anytime now.

There is a lovely room all ready for you and more clothes that you could ever wear.

Daddy and I love you very very much already even though we've only seen you on the squidgy scan pictures.

Mummy

Dear DS1

I am so sorry I shouted at you and your brother. The week of tantrums, lack of gratiitude, answering back and just ignoring me has taken it's toll. You say you hate me, I understand that. When you are ready to unbarricade your room from the table you have moved behind the door there's a chocolate bun and a joke book for us to giggle at whilst we cuddle and your brother has a snooze.

Lots of love from your mummy who is far crosser with herself than she is with you brilliant kids.

P.S stop parping on that blasted harmonica.

Dear house

You're just doing it to annoy now, aren't you?

Those cheerful blooms of mould on the timbers I treated? Now I've laid the insulation and can't easily get to them? You know how hard it was for me to haul my carcass into the loft at all, never mind stand or stretch or work.

You little minx.

And this after we've repaired your leaking roof, chimneys (twice), ventilated and insulated. Replastered and damp-proofed you, taken up your floors, treated your timbers. Put expensive sound-dampening on your single-brick party wall, so there's one room where the neighbours' incessant screaming is slightly dulled. Fought epic battles with your many, many plumbing leaks.

I only clambered up there to list jobs for the electrician. Again.

Yours
ThisIsANiceButRatherDodgyCage

--

Dear surveyor

Thanks for saying the house had no problems. I hate you very much.

TIANBRDC

--

Dear vendor

Your one little lie about the walls has had such a huge impact on my life and health. You knew I was asking because I had M.E. and was badly affected by noise, as well as needing to sleep lots. But you still lied. Thanks for that.
TIANBRDC

--

Dear neighbours

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Just for one day. Please.

Dear University Friends,

The reason that I did not contact you again after our reunion is that I realised that you are all such a load of bitches and I am so glad that your lives are shit because you deserve all that you get.

Dear friend's wife,

You are opinionated and unpleasant and useless with children (not the expert you think you are. You terrify them so it is lucky that you did not have any of your own. And we all know why you made that decision so stop trying to run away from your heritage.

Dear British wanabee,

What right do you think you have to play golf every weekend while your wife is at home looking after your children - doesn't she deserve time off? - she goes to work too and has a more demanding job. Can't you see that she resents you and that you are acting like a wank*r? And you dress like an idiot.

Dear IT Manager,

You are the most stupid and useless person I have every come across in my life. Everyone hates you. Why have you not been fired?

Dear interviewers,
I could do your job, I really could.

So don't be put off when if I stumble over my words, go off on tangents, waffle on without actually answering your questions or generally sound like an idiot. I will try my best not to, but just in case this interview goes like all the other ones, I am warning you not to be alarmed if I do.

Please give me a chance. I'm really quite competent, once you get to know me. And I sometimes make cakes and bring them in to work.

See you next week, and hopefully for a lot of weeks after that,
Kikki

Dear Brain,
FGS just act normal for half an hour on Tuesday, OK? It's not too much to ask. If you do, you can stop worrying so much about money, wouldn't that be nice? Please make sure that Mouth is also aware of this request. I'm expecting the two of you to work together on this.
Thanks in anticipation,
K

Dear Next. When I paid extra for "Next Day Delivery", and you assured me that the slot I preferred (8am - 1pm) would be fine, I stupidly assumed that my goods would be delivered before 1pm. Silly me, eh?

It is now half past two and they still aren't here, and the children are rightly miffed that we're still stuck in waiting. Thanks for that.

Dear Nosy,
Good luck for tomorrow, take dd and get out of that situation, and soon you'll be safe and happy again.
love sammysam

Dear Mumsnet and Manatee,
Thank you for this thread, it has made me laugh and cry, I just wish I had time to read the whole thing.
Love sammysam

Dear DD2,
Please learn to sleep. It's been over 18 months now and i'm finally reaching breaking point. You haven't once slept through the night-or anywhere near. And because i'm still feeding you and because dh has work etc it has always been me getting up. I'm so tired and emotional. I love you more than words can express and wouldn't change you for the world......I just wish you would sleep for longer than 2-3hours.
Love Mummy

Dear DD1
I'm sorry i've been shouting so much recently. I'm just so tired. I hate myself being like this, i'm normally so chilled and patient. I love you so much and you are amazing. I'm so sorry for asking too much from you, I know you're only 4and a half and I don't really expect that you can do all we ask. I'm sorry.
Love Mummy

Dear DH,
I love you, I really do. I just wish you could be like this all the time. I know your job is stressful and you work long hours and need time to relax.....but so is mine and where is my time? You're only just realising how close to breaking point I am, and the surprise meal out tonight will be lovely but will not cure me. I wish you could be more in control of your emotions, especially your stress and anger, it's not up to me to do it for you and it certainly isn't me making you like it.
Love your DW

Dear family,
Please please please can I have some time to be me again? I love you all so much and love being a SAHM but i've lost 'ME'. I don't know what I like any more. I know the extreme tiredness is not helping one bit, but I just need a break.
Love sammysam

Dear brain,
Please find the power to work again. I hate being and feeling so braindead. I used to have intelligent thoughts and everything. I'm just glad I managed to get my degree before I lost you.
Love me

Dear Me,
Please snap out of feeling so low. Life really is good, you have no real reason to be feeling like this. You are very lucky for everything and everyone you have in your life. Don't let the crappy friends you've had in your life recently get you down. Yes you feel lonely now, but it will get better,
Love me.

Dear Puppy dog,
I'm sorry I'm not being the best new mummy right now. I will snap out of it soon and then you'll realise what a lovely family you are part of now. I'm sorry, it's not your fault, just very bad timing-i've taken on too much whilst i'm feeling crap. Tomorrow is another day, and I will feel better.
Love mummy

Dear me,
Please please please get lots of early nights over the next few weeks. It will help and will be more beneficial than time to relax in the evening.
Love me

Dear everyone,
God i'm sorry, what a load of depressing Dears.... I'm stopping now as I'm getting far too carried away.
Love sammysam

PS
Dear mumsnetter who told me about tear and share brioche,
Thank you! The most amazing stuff ever! Off to have some now to give me a quick energy burst!
love sammysam

Dear dd2,

I am so so so sorry. I love you more then any words could ever say. I miss you so much it hurts. The 24 hours that I got to hold kiss and cuddle you for made all the pain worth while. I wish every day that the situation could be undone and you were at home with me where you should be. You are the empty chair at our table and you always will be. My beautiful precious daughter I love you x.

ds1, ds2 and dd1 I am so sorry that at a time that you should be more special to me and wonderful than ever, that I have no patience and am shouty and grumpy. I love you all you are my only reason for keeping going.

Love Mummy xxxx

Dear DH

I am sorry for being so miserable lately but my maternity leave has been so lovely and all I want to do with my life is be a good wife to you and a good mother to our beautiful DD. It makes me very sad that in a few weeks I will have to go back to a job I don't like just so we can "grow our savings and have money for luxuries". Please try to understand my point of view. We have enough to pay our bills and put food on the table. This is all we need for now. Let me raise our child and future children. DD is growing up so quickly.

I love you dearly.

BAH