Thickos on TripAdvisor

[bupcakesandcunting]

I usually check reviews about places on Trip Advisor before booking a holiday. I've been having a snoop round this morning for a holiday and went onto Trip Advisor to read the reviews and honestly, some of them look like they've been written by a bear mashing his paws into the keyboard and hitting "send"...

AIBU to disregard reviews by people who moan that "nobode understand ENGLISH" "no chips/salad just greek food" "wayter rude" or should I be giving them the same attention as the others?

OK, enough moaning about foreign hotels being full of foreigners, who will persist in speaking their own language ? so what delights do our own hoteliers offer the discerning traveller? :

?My room had its own unique charactar with graffitti gouged into the headboard which is in 12" high letters across the whole area.....
The 1 prison issue blanket (which is interesting as if you were kept in a prison in these conditions it would probably be deemed a breach of your human rights but we get to be charged for it!) and dubious bed cover have probably never seen a washing machine -i slept in my clothes and got out of there without even contemplating experiencing breakfast. ?

?....We weren't expecting anymore than the 3's or wot we paid for but place was a nightmare ....rooms set out in blocks like blocks of council flats or butlins circa1990 and left u feeling very vulnerable as easy access and none too secure.Once inside the room u find a very dated cold poorly furnished room.........grandma's eiderdown complete with blood stains and curtains to match...and don't even start me on the prison issue blanket !?

*

I can go on at length of all the negatives I've encountered [so s/he does]but will list the points as there are quite a few:

1. The wireless internet did not work anywhere in the building for which I received no compensation
2. The only computer available was the Windows 98 machine by the reception area with a rate of £6 per hour for internet. I lost £6 as I discovered the internet on that also didn't work. No refund was given.
3. The staff are rude and most of them laugh and joke amongst themselves pretending to be busy so as not to serve you.
4. The central heating is loud and the windows don't shut properly and let a lot of sound (from cars) in.
5. The TV is no bigger than 10 inches and reception is exceptionally bad so most channels are not watchable.
6. The sheets had blood stains on them
7. The carpets were extremely unclean
8. The towels had a very bad smell to them with faint stains on them.
9. It was impossible to sleep as the sounds and vibrations of love making on either side of the room found its way into my room. Not only does this mean sleepless nights but also reduced privacy for your self should you engage in these activities.

10. The mattress is so soft it does not adequately support your back so expect severe back pains the following day. 11. There are spider webs in the corners.

There are some good points in my experience:

1. All the lights worked
2. You get a card to open your door and not keys

all reviews of the same hotel in Birmingham

Reviews of a London hotel:

?...There were scuff marks (I hope they were scuff marks!) on the walls. As you walk up to the B&B you see the gate hanging by a thread trying to prevent unwitting guests from crossing the threshold into the devil's bowels....?

?...When we arrived we weren't shown to our room, merely given a general direction in which to walk...? who made the joke about being blindfolded and shoved towards the lifts? [GRIN]

?..... I asked the guy behind the desk if he could arrange a couple of sandwiches for us as we had to leave early to meet friends at Heathrow for the second leg of our trip to Crufts. He started giving me 110 excuses as to why he could not help me. I said, "Thanks not to worry" and went to our room to change to go out for dinner.

Two minutes later a knock at our door, it was him, I asked what his problem was, now I don't know if this guy was smoking something or if he suffers from some form of babbling sickness, he tells me that he thinks I have bad manners.

So I gave him at taste of bad manners & slammed the door in his face. 5 minutes later he is still babbling out side our door. I don't think that man is firing on all cylinders. The next morning at ± 05h10 we leave the hotel to catch an early tube to Heathrow, I drop the keys on the counter & I see it is the same creature on duty, we walked out.

NOW COMES THE BEST PART. About half way up the road my wife asks if I could hear the shouting, I stopped & looked in the direction of the noise, ITS HIM. I walked back to the hotel. P.S he runs behind the counter, I was now totally pissed off. I asked him what his %^@ problem was this time. Remember this hotel you pay before you sleep & secondly I have my receipt.
It has the audacity to tell me that I have not paid, WHAT is the man doing in a hotel if IT can't even read. I walked out of the hotel, correction, building. when we turned the corner
which is ± 100 meters away we could still hear him ranting & raving. PLEASE PLEASE warn other travellers about this place...?

"the bar staff felt just like family! so welcoming. always offering us drinks!" Um, isn't that their JOB?

"when i took look round the kitchen all the food was happy shopper cheap crap food the lady who was frying had one hand down her pants while cooking there his no way i will go in that dirty rotten hole again never
" Ewwwww

"The tattoo parlor two door down from this establishment has a sign in the window that says "No pain - No gain". That could also be the motto of this bed and breakfast. It is inexpensive - for three people we paid 75 lbs"

I am concerned about the juxtaposition of the hand down the pants and "dirty rotten hole".

A couple from a hotel in my former hometown...

Bloodstains, pasties & Michael Barrymore

Hmmm, I was in Wolverhampton for a gig and really only wanted somewhere to put my head down, but I didn't expect to find cheese & onion pasties and a chocolate eclair left in the chest of drawers from the previous occupant of the room. When I tried to complain, the man just said "did you know Michael Barrymore is in town?" Bizarre doesn't describe it! The duvet covers had fag burns in them and the room that my friends stayed in had blood stains on the carpet.
Communal shower & toilets, only sinks in the room.
Basically a doss house - avoid (although the location is good & central, you do have to put up with the gangs of hoodies hanging around outside the Spar opposite).

THEN

This is by far the worst place ive stayed in. i found a cats paw in my pillow case. Also ahd chest of drawers with no drawers in them, a cupboard with no back a double bed the size of a hammock made of concrete. Communal toilets with no locks. Our neighbour lived in it had tv on all day and nite didnt close door. It should be named Alcatraz. Also, pay in cash only haha, thats a sign of dodgy things. Enjoy ur stay

Used to be a rep. Have fun every now and again googling reviews for the hotels I worked in.

Won't out it but the best one is the review from a large group who had a break-in which was suspicious apparently as no sign of forced entry. no mention of the fact the door was left open as they forgot to shut it Now whilst I sympathise .....................

What makes me laugh is the comment 'the reps did nothing'. This was my last week and I was 37 weeks pg. I offered to do all sorts including 2 1/2 hour round trip to get passports but they told another guest " if that rep tries to help us one more time I'll kick that fucking baby out of her"

Didn't write that on the review did they.

Have just caught up on this thread.... I have stomach ache and ruined mascara!

Remember the traveller who went round knocking on hotel doors at looking for a lost beaver?

Mystery solved!

cdn03.okcdn.okmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/mel_gibson_beaver_dec6-300x220.jpg

..though -Mel- the mystery man doesn't look too happy

..sorry for typos - just overwhelmed at this touching reunion hic

Am bored and stuck in, a prisoner of hay fever. Anyone fancy joining me on a TripAdvisor dipstick hunt?

POOL's - Quite a few to choose from however the slide pool gets packed. Also while we were there someone had a bowel movement in both the slide pool and the main pool on separate occasions. This is not the hotels fault but its an example of the types of people going to this place.

Oh dear

Emailed from my DH (which probably everyone bar me has seen already):
Thomas Cook Holidays - listing some of the guests' complaints during the season.

1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or gingernuts."

1. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned

1. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

1. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

1. A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

1. "The beach was too sandy."

1. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

1. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

1. "We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

10. "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

11. "There was no egg slicer in the apartment..."

12. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish..."

13. "The roads were uneven."

14. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

15. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller."

16. "The brochure states: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We are all trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"

17. "There were too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners."

18. "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

19. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

20. "I was bitten by a mosquito - no-one said they could bite."

21. "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g186394-d1674926-r112063198-Mercure_Newcastle_George_Washington_Hotel_Golf_and_Spa-Newcastle_upon_Tyne_Tyne_and_Wear_England.html#CHECK_RATES_CONT

If I had the sense of humour of a teenage boy, the title of this review would make me laugh. I don't though, so I'm concerned to hear about car vandalism. [hwink]

20 astonishing holiday complaints

5th September 2011

Presented to you, for your entertainment and pleasure ? 20 of the most outrageous, ridiculous and stupid travel complaints made to tour operators
www.wanderlust.co.uk/magazine/news/20-astonishing-holiday-complaints-thomas-cook-abta

A recent survey from Thomas Cook and ABTA reveals 20 of the most ridiculous complaints by holiday-makers made to their travel agent.

1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

1. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time - this should be banned."

1. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food at all."

1. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels."

1. A tourist at a top African Game Lodge over looking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

1. A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she'd been locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the "do not disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

1. "The beach was too sandy."

1. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure.Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white."

1. A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

10. "Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women."

11. "We bought 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses for five Euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake."

12. "No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled."

13. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only took the Americans three hours to get home."

14. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends' three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.."

15. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation?. We?re trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying there?"

16. "There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad."

17. "We had to queue outside with no air conditioning."

18. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

19. "I was bitten by a mosquito, no-one said they could bite."

20. "My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

aaaaaargh!!! sorry all... should have looked at the thread properly

"i THOUGHT EVERYTHING WILL BE PERFECT NOT UNTIL I OPEN MY ROOM my kids we're the first one to enter and they start to run in the living room and when my youngest kid open my room, she was shocked and told me mom...there's somebody inside our room. I opened the door and I was suprised on what I saw. There's a man sleeping on the bed. I told my kids to go out of the room and I went to the front office and complained. The front office clerk is insisiting that the room is vacant. I got mad at her! called the general manager and complain to him! They wasn't able to fix the problem and I ended up checking out of the same day! "

"We booked this hotel on the premise that it is a solely GAY hotel as it clearly states on it's website, we were stunned when we walked out of our room to find female guests, that were heterosexual and married. We were also confronted with this at the breakfast room , there were many heterosexual couples dining there...We will not be returning and suggest that the hotel updates it's website to tell the facts , that it is a normal hotel and takes in all guests , not GAY as it states."

OMG FEMALE MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL PEOPLE!!!!!!!

This is from a restaurant review:
"The fries were too large but i think this way they will have less oil
Dipping the potatoes in ketchup and garlic sauce gave it a nice taste"

couldn't resist :p

OMG...reading this thread during my lunch hour in the office and I laughed so hard I inadvertantly farted quite loudly!!

I once went on there to look at reviews for a hotel we were due to stay in. All reviews were glowing (place was lovely) apart from one which was bonkers, along with complaints that there was no soft play area for the children (it was a small country hotel, not butlins ffs!), they complained that they had played the apprentice theme tune in the restaurant! What made me decide the hotel was a good one was that the owners were very gracious and polite in their reply, apologising for the perceived lack of facilities for children and saying that yes they do play a selection of classical music in the restaurant including "dance of the knights" which they believed may have been used in the apprentice, but they apologised if it was not to their tastes! Dp and I were pissing ourselves!

It does annoy me when owners are very rude and defensive in their replies to reasonable comments, that says far more about the place than owners who simply apologise gracefully, even if the complainers are loons!

www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowUserReviews-g658907-d1941202-r149865990-La_Taberna_del_Capitan-Caleta_de_Fuste_Antigua_Fuerteventura_Canary_Islands.html#REVIEWS
"nice foof and atmosphere"

Ahhh, this will always be my favourite thread...

Here on Tripadvisaargh are some more juicy tidbits for your delectation.

"Never go there! We got a room that was creepy. There were bloody rags on window sill and drug synergys in toilet. Only a cardboard sheet windows, and someone screaming outside our window"