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Thickos on TripAdvisor

578 replies

bupcakesandcunting · 18/03/2011 09:03

I usually check reviews about places on Trip Advisor before booking a holiday. I've been having a snoop round this morning for a holiday and went onto Trip Advisor to read the reviews and honestly, some of them look like they've been written by a bear mashing his paws into the keyboard and hitting "send"...

AIBU to disregard reviews by people who moan that "nobode understand ENGLISH" "no chips/salad just greek food" "wayter rude" or should I be giving them the same attention as the others?

OP posts:
NunOnTheRun · 24/03/2011 10:39

"This hotel is the worst hotel on the face of the earth. Upon arrival I see this big man bringing a prostitute into his room, great first impression. ........
..... If you enjoy getting bed bugs and itching as well as staying in complete and utter filth, this is the place for you! I am not picky with hotels either, this place is not acceptable by any means, unless you are looking for a great hourly rate and a good/bad time with a local. "


"My dog and I travel monthly for competitions. We aren't usually picky - if it's close and reasonably clean, fine. But this place is scary. I checked in late, and my first clue probably should have been the bulletproof partition in front of the desk clerk (who was all of about 14). I had a corner room that was filthy - peeling tile, water stained and falling ceiling in the shower, paint on the tub, visible dust on fixtures, etc. I almost got in the car and left. I should have. At 6am the next morning I ran into two lovely gentlemen in the parking lot who needed a few bucks to put gas in the van to get home (uh huh). I offered 5 just to get them to leave - "That's ALL you have?" but they did let me back off quickly. (You'd think the 50lb shepherd mix would help. No, she was busy.)
Seriously, avoid this place. You can do better. Even if you're of the "oh, well, hotel rooms all look alike in the dark" mindset. No, no, and no. We are not exaggerating nor being picky. It really is that bad. ..."

NunOnTheRun · 24/03/2011 10:43

The worst event happened the last night we were there. While we were coming back from dinner we stopped at a general store. I saw Corona beers and since I had not had any beer since I left the U.S., we bought two Corona's. When we got back to the hotel, we needed to reserve some hotels for the next few days so we needed wireless internet, which of course is only in the lobby. We grabbed the laptop and popped the two Corona's to sit in the lobby and leisurely review some hotels for the next few nights and book them.

As soon as we walk into the lobby the night clerk barks at us, very rudely, "You can not drink in here!!!" That's all he says. So I say, "It's just two beers, and we need to use the internet." To which he says, "You can not drink in here!!! This is not a pub!!! No!! No!!"

It was an insulting insinuation that we were some drunken slobs that would somehow begin moshing in his little lobby breaking lamps, smashing guitars and throwing up on the walls.

What we were was a married couple that just walked back from a day of sightseeing and having dinner at a local restaurant...quite sober, quite ordinary and quite peaceful.

Well, I felt the blood fill my face and the rage take over and all I really wanted to do was liberate his head from his body and watch it roll around on the floor while I drink my Corona over his lifeless corpse. Societal restraints being as they are...I cursed him out, returned the beers to our room, came downstairs to do what we needed to do, and simply aggravated him for a good 60 minutes.

bupcakesandcunting · 24/03/2011 10:54

"Well, I felt the blood fill my face and the rage take over and all I really wanted to do was liberate his head from his body and watch it roll around on the floor while I drink my Corona over his lifeless corpse. Societal restraints being as they are...I cursed him out, returned the beers to our room, came downstairs to do what we needed to do, and simply aggravated him for a good 60 minutes."

Cannot. Breathe.

OP posts:
BaggedandTagged · 24/03/2011 10:57

Just using it for sleeping and bringing people back, nice!

Especially as it seems that they were sharing rooms. The mind boggles.

SoupDragon · 24/03/2011 11:06

" if not for our family there wouldnt of actually been anything going on in the hotel as there was no entertainment"

To me, that says more about their family then it does about the hotel...

LOL at the "quite calm, quite ordinary and quite peaceful" married couple wanting to rip the hotel manager's head off. So, not a psychopath in disguise then...

Portofino · 24/03/2011 11:46

"Swimming pool was freezing. I had to check to see if my body parts were still attached."

"23 of us took over block C. Had a fantastic stay, hotel was fun, clean and cheap. Perfect to stay at with friends, i would not recommend this hotel to family's or boring book readers. "

"another apartment broken to and the had a poo in my bath it was so sick i was sick and we went to the rep and she said that was not the first time she heard that omg never go back again EVER "

"I went to Ayia Napa with 2 other girls and we didn't actually stay at these apartments, but we met two groups of boys that did and ended up spending a lot of time there. On our first week we met a group of lads that were staying in apartment 20, they moved and strangely the next group we met also ended up staying in that room" The trollops! Shock

"cyprus has a culture that is so much fun to explore.....And the Mc Donalds.....they actually give you the burger thats on the picture ?! Theyre immense."

FellatioNelson · 24/03/2011 12:50

God I must go there immediately. I've been waiting my whole life to eat at a place where the food actually even half resembles the stuff in the photograph.

GoldenGreen · 24/03/2011 14:21

Oh how I love the punchline to this one - Bev sounds like a real character

Don't do it!?
Date of review: 21 Aug 2009
My husband and I have recently been to St Ives for a friend's wedding and stayed at The Hollies. We travelled with two relatives.

We arrived at the B & B at 12.15pm and I was greeted by Beverley. Beverley told me I was far too early, that rooms are not usually ready until after midday. I looked at my watch and it was 12.15pm so I could not understand what the issue was!

After some time waiting Beverley came back to me and informed me the room was ready and told me how to get to the car park.

On arrival at the car park Beverley thought we could achieve the impossible by directing us to park in a tiny gap. Ian then came out and took over. He moved what we thought was his car and we were able to park.

Ian was very pleasant to begin with. He gave us the keys and explained what they were for. He told us about the restaurants in town and also told us how to order breakfast. We were then shown to our room.

The room was very small but clean. To get to the other side of the room you had to climb over the bed.

That evening we went out for dinner.

The following day was the wedding day. As it was a nice day we decided to have some photos outside of the hotel before we made our way to the wedding venue. We noticed whilst we were doing this that our car had been moved. It suddenly clicked that somebody must have been into our room the night before and looked through the drawers (without our consent) and taken the keys to move the car. I was astounded by the fact that this had all been done without us being asked. We were never told at any stage that anybody would have to enter our room or asked for our car keys. We would have been quite happy to leave our keys with Ian or Beverley had we been told.

I decided rather than speak to Ian and Beverley at that stage, I would speak to them on the day of departure.

We had a lovely day at the wedding then returned home around midnight. We were invited into a relatives room. I decided to go back to my room and get changed. Whilst doing so I could hear them laughing, they were not shouting or screaming they were just laughing.

I then heard Ian asking them if they could keep the noise down. At this stage one of them decided to ask Ian two questions, first of all, why he had entered their room without knocking the night before when they were in bed, and secondly, why he had moved our car without first getting our consent to do so.

All of a sudden I could hear Ian shouting that he had not burst into their room and that he had told us all that he may need to move the car and that our keys were on the bed rather than in a drawer.

I then tried to calm the situation down by asking everybody to leave it. However, a relative of mine was then told to shut up by Ian.

Eventually Ian left.

The following day I went to breakfast alone, the other three had been drinking at the wedding and so wanted a lie in.

It took some time for a member of staff to serve me that morning, a lady kept looking at me then going back into the kitchen. She eventually came and I mistakenly gave her a different order to the one I had placed the night before, I think I may have ordered two eggs for example rather than one. I heard Ian say to her that I had placed my order the night before and could not change it. It was so petty when you think that three people's breakfasts were available!

I was then joined by my other friend and part way through breakfast Beverley came over and said that she needed to speak to us after breakfast. She did so in front of the rest of the guests. I couldn't believe that I had been spoken to like a child! I would never dream of speaking to anybody in the way she spoke to us.

She came back and told us that we had accused her husband of searching through our belongings for keys. For one, none of us had actually been involved in the incident. She then said that we had to wake everybody up as she did not want them lying in bed all day! When you pay for a room you do not expect to be told when you have to get up!

She also told me that if the others did not give Ian an apology then we would have to find another B & B.

On the way out I spoke to Beverley again. She said that the B & B was her home and that Ian would never go through guests drawers. She said that we had been told they may need our keys. I told her that we had never been told this, if I had then I would have remembered.

Beverley told us that she was upset as her husband had got up that morning with a face like a 'bosted ar**hole' and so she was annoyed hence the reason she spoke to us.

This does not excuse the way we were spoken to and treated at The Hollies.

I would certainly not recommend this B & B.

jaggythistle · 24/03/2011 14:43

ShockShockShock

FellatioNelson · 24/03/2011 15:27

This is why I never stay in B&B's.

Hullygully · 24/03/2011 15:54

I am going to The Hollies at once. I think I may love Beverley and Ian even more than Maureen and Roger.

Hullygully · 24/03/2011 15:54

a face like a 'bosted ar**hole'

What IS that?

Portofino · 24/03/2011 19:06

I am reading between the lines, that they were ALL a bit pissed Grin

jaggythistle · 24/03/2011 19:19

Bloody Benidorm is full of Spaniards too, for feck's sake!

if you have already booked for here i feel for you i really do!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just got back on monday and thankgod we only stayed for a long weekend,the staff are ignorant and serve all spanish first and its mostly spanish holiday makers there,the spanish all look at you asthough your a turd, the food is mingin pigs trotters slimy liver and fried eggs for lunch with bread rolls full of flies,the hotel smells like a stinkbomb has gone off and the resturaunt smells of gone off kippers,you get told all the time it was like bein at school.thankgod the nitelife is only ten mins walk away because you cant stay in the hotel for the night (we were all inclusive) the entertainment is a annoyin spanish dude blowin a whistle and its all in spanish we spent up by the 3rd night and pratically lived off kfc and chips,dont eat the burgers or sausage theyre rank and half cooked,we made our own fun though which wasnt appreciated by the spanish oh and the pool is small and dont get the water from it in your mouth it tastes of pee!!!!! only stay here if u only want a bed cause belive me its not good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jaggythistle · 24/03/2011 19:54

I can't resist this thread - having a slow evening at work is not helping...might look for more revies to bore you with now Grin

Kleftico · 24/03/2011 20:26

Is anyone else reading these reviews in that voice that Victoria Wood does? The character who's always waiting "fer me mate, Kimberley." Grin [old]

Kleftico · 24/03/2011 20:57

I killed it Sad.

jaggythistle · 24/03/2011 21:00

I am hearing that voice now...

Kleftico · 24/03/2011 21:23

Grin makes it even better. The well written, but outraged revies are in a slightly posh, but regional type accent in my head. I am a bit strange.

FellatioNelson · 24/03/2011 21:30

So, just to recap then:

They serve all the Spanish first, it's mostly Spanish there, the Spanish look at you as though you are a turd, there's an annoying Spanish dude blowing a whistle and it's all in Spanish, and 'making your own fun' is not appreciated by the Spanish.

Just in case you were in any doubt about how she feels about the Spanish.

Kleftico · 24/03/2011 21:39

Or...a la Gavin and Stacey: "in a four star, in Greece, you expect clean sheets every day, so I hid a wine gum in one pillow case and another wine gum in the other pillow case...".
You couldn't make it up tbh. Brilliance. We've just come back to the UK from a 3 year stint in Cyprus, daily I read facebook statuses complaining about the locals, how bloody dare they! The level of ignorance and xenophobia is breath taking. Little comments about the lack of decent sausages Hmm etc. The state of the roads, the rudeness of Cypriots in supermarkets etc the list goes on. It made me chuckle!

jaggythistle · 24/03/2011 22:08

i did spot your username and it reminded me of the very poor food in the hotel on my first visit to Cyprus. :) i didn't complain though, just went out and found nice food! twas a very cheap holiday.

FannyLogan · 24/03/2011 22:15

I would say 'bosted arsehole' is a Black Country phrase.

Portofino · 24/03/2011 22:16

I am still a bit gobsmacked about how everyone seems to go on holiday and expects to be "entertained" every night! I would not go on a holiday like this.

Dd likes a baby disco, and has done Siblu talent evenings in the past. Occasionally we have hung about in the bar as there was a reasonably good band/singer on. Otherwise we go out, or go to our room/caravan. Do some people truly have no imagination? Do they pay to go to one place and stay there for 2 weeks?

Kleftico · 24/03/2011 22:24

I know DH and I look forward to holidays because we can spend time together and just have quiet time! How poncy! No music, no entertenenement. Maybe one baby disco, but only for our own amusement. Our scruffy kids trying to dance in step to the well coiffed, properly dressed off spring of the local Russian mafia. That's Cyprus baby! So boring. That's why we like camping, I don't need to change for dinner!

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