Strange / silly rules at work

[melpomene]

What strange or silly rules do you have in your workplace?

Here are some examples from the office where I work:

• My colleagues asked if we could have a small bookcase, because we have heaps of reference books on the desks and a bookcase would make it much easier to store and find them. We were told that it is against the policy to have bookcases or shelves, and that "if we got a book case then people would put things on it".

• They provide pencils but not pencil sharpeners, so when your pencil gets blunt you have to throw it away and get a new one.

• In the canteen, they sometimes serve vegetable curry. They also serve rice.

However, you are not allowed to have vegetable curry with rice. You are allowed to have vegetable curry with a baked potato, or chicken curry with rice, but not vegetable curry with rice .

Has anyone else got any silly rules?

Ah yes, holding the handrail to walk up and down the stairs, we were supposed to do that too. Ahh, fond memories!

At my work, when it is very cold in the office, we are not allowed to discuss how cold it is or how cold we feel. It fosters negativity apparently

Reading these makes me love my office!

I can't think of anything weird at all about my workplace. It's very laid-back, but it doesn't cause people to be lazy or anything.

Although perhaps they're lulling us into a sense of comfort which means no-one will ever leave or demand a payrise because we're so impressed with the kitchen facilities and 'fun' atmosphere

Boffin But everyone knows the best academic papers are written under the influence

I once went into a cafe that served an 'all day breakfast'. This included mushrooms and toast.

I asked for mushrooms on toast but they would not serve it because 'it was not on the menu'

A friend of mine works for Dell and for many years was based at the HQ in Texas. So multi-billionaire Michael Dell has a "no office" rule. It is open plan. Even HE only has a cubicle. His cubicle though is guarded though with 2 big chaps armed with sub machine guns

I worked at a company with a rule stipulating no one could have their hair dyed a colour which is not 'natural'.

I don't know about mad rules, but I know a lot about mad offices having worked in quite a few.
For example, an ex colleague of mine, who used to work for a well known national paper (the one no one dares to be seen reading in public as it's so bad!...) said the then editor - who was female, a complete dragon and power mad - got off on sending male office juniors out to the shops to buy her tampons!!! Nutter!

I worked for a large London department store (old school) but in the offices and when I started we had to wear skirts, and tights must be black or American tan - even in summer.

I left there and worked in the office at a recruitment agency (adecco if I'm allowed to say - if not then just wipe that from your mind) and I was told I must wear a skirt suit, neutral tights and black court shoes...I had neither and wasn't long out of uni so went to C&A and bought the most grim, cheap, shiny grey suit - I still shudder...

Realise this makes me sounds ancient but this was in 2000

I went for a job interview as crew for a ferry as a 19 year old. They did drug tests at the interview and asked me to provide a sample there and then. They shoved a plastic cup in my hand from the water cooler and I was so flabbergasted that went off to the toilet and then had to walk back through the entire office holding a pot of my piss with everyone staring at me and hand it to my interviewer. I was so humiliated that when they offered me the job I turned it down. Fine, do drug tests but come up with a more discreet way to deal with it.

that I went off

I love this thread. We have no rules like this at work. We are allowed to use kettles and everything!

'No jacking up in the bog'.

Fascist bastards.

I work for the NHS so all our silly rules are at least based on facts but the memo reminding us that all staff must be naked below the elbow made us giggle.

you mean from about the hip downwards!

An ex-boyfriend used to work in Little Chef. He once had to tell a customer that they could only have fried eggs because they'd run out of scrambled

It all came prepackaged!

I once temped in a office where the staff were not allowed to talk to each other at all during the day. Not even to discuss work related issues. Also we weren't allowed to go to lunch together. I also got told off and slapped on the hand (no kidding) by the boss' secretary because I was 5 minutes late and had not called. I was working in London and had been stuck in an underground tunnel for 45 minutes...They offered me a job, needless to say I declined.

I now work in a no kettle and no hot drinks without lids office.

I used to work for Disney, now they had rules. I'm trying to remember all of them, but a selection were

• no facial hair for men
• light make up for women
• mid height heeled black shoes for women
• black lace up shoes for men
• tan tights for women
• hair tied back for women with long hair
• mens' hair to be short

There were a lot more, but I can't remember them, suffice it to say the rules didn't apply to bloomin ariel or princess jasmine

Many years ago, due to staff shortages, the staff areas were prioritised as not needing cleaning. This included the staff toilet.

After 4 weeks a colleague in a different team threw a hissy fit and cleaned the loo as it was getting really stinky.

She got reprimanded for a) cleaning the toilet in work time and b) because she had not been properly trained in using loo cleaner and other hazardous chemicals.

I have just remembered about the toilet lights, they installed movement sensing lights to save electricity in our toilets, which went off after about 30s if they didn't detect movement (no pun intended!). This was fine in daylight as there were windows too, but on dark winter afternoons it was most disconcerting to get plunged into darkness as you did your business, unfortunately if you were in the cubicle you were out of range of the sensor, so you had to finish off in the dark.

Or go to the toilet in pairs so someone could stand outside the cubicle and wave at the sensor.

ogre - we have those! I have been plunged into darkness mid-motion! it is very disconcerting!

Our staff canteen will only let you have an egg with your breakfast if you sign for it. You have to sign before they'll slide the egg onto your plate. When you get to the till, old harridan snaps 'hope you've signed for that egg'