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Original poster

Strange / silly rules at work

329 replies

melpomene · 21/01/2011 19:15

What strange or silly rules do you have in your workplace?

Here are some examples from the office where I work:

  • My colleagues asked if we could have a small bookcase, because we have heaps of reference books on the desks and a bookcase would make it much easier to store and find them. We were told that it is against the policy to have bookcases or shelves, and that "if we got a book case then people would put things on it".
  • They provide pencils but not pencil sharpeners, so when your pencil gets blunt you have to throw it away and get a new one.
  • In the canteen, they sometimes serve vegetable curry. They also serve rice.
However, you are not allowed to have vegetable curry with rice. You are allowed to have vegetable curry with a baked potato, or chicken curry with rice, but not vegetable curry with rice Confused.

Has anyone else got any silly rules?

OP posts:
legspinner · 22/01/2011 02:40

oh and DH's work has a really dumb rule - only 1 personal thing on your desk (eg photo). Most people ignore it as the boss is in another city and rarely ventures down here!

cumbria81 · 22/01/2011 07:01

I am Shock at some of these! I have never worked anywhere like that. The feng shui stuff is mind boggling.

TheSkiingGardener · 22/01/2011 07:24

My DH works somewhere where not reverse parking your car is a disciplinary offence. As is not holding the handrail on the stairs, or hanging your jacket over your chair, or not putting your bag in your locker, or carrying a hot drink upstairs.

It's a depressing place.

ditavonteesed · 22/01/2011 08:07

the personal things on desk has just reminded me, we were allowed I personal thing at my last job, but they counted a pen as a personal thing, so you couldnt have more than opne pen. I put a photo of dd's up every day and looked bemused if i needed a pen. twas funny.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 22/01/2011 08:38

I can't reverse park to save my life! Hope I never work there.

MrsSchadenfreude · 22/01/2011 08:45

Oh, oh, how could I have forgotten this mad place? First job as a temp in the Department of Employment. I was a Clerical Assistant, which meant that I got only a table - no drawers to keep my stuff in. I got promoted to Clerical Officer and got a new desk - with two drawers on one side. I was told that if I reached the dizzy heights of Executive Officer, I would be allowed two drawers on each side of the desk. ShockShockShock And a Chair With Arms.

One of the Executive Officers was a lot younger than the others, and he had a hat stand next to his desk. Executive Officers were not allowed hat stands, they were reserved for Senior Executive Officers and above. The other Executive Officers ganged up on this chap and made the office manager (who was a Higher Executive Officer - do keep up) give the hat stand to the head of the officer, who was a Senior Executive Officer. He didn't want the hat stand but the Higher Executive Officer terrified him, so after a bit of moaning, he kept it. And made a point of never putting his coat (or hat) on it.

Is the Civil Service still this bad?

MarioandLuigi · 22/01/2011 08:49

I worked in a place with an absolute dragon of a boss. The company had 15 staff and in the two years I was there 35 people came and left. It was such a depressing place to work. Some of the rules she had included

  • Files must be colour coded per client and filed in colour order (not name order which would have been much easier). Files were ordered from the stationers once all the colours had run out.If you didnt have the right colour file you couldnt file the case, but you also were not allowed anything on your desk, so what she expected us to do with the paperwork I dont know!

The stationary cupboard had a lock on it. If you wanted anything you had to go to her to justify why you wanted it - even a pen!

Everything in a file had to be filed in the correct order, as instructed by her, as did how your desk was positioned.

She would ask the office junior to make her tea, if it wasnt good enough she would get them to make it over again until they got it right.

But the bizarre rules she decided to bring in were things like

No heels to be worn to work (she didnt like the sound heels made on the floor)

No Number 2's allowed in the top toilet (thats how she worded the memo), Our office was one big room and it had a toilet at each end, we called the top toilet or the bottom toilet. Suffice to say everyone knew what you were going to do by which toilet you went to. It was so embarrasing!

No windows open, ever! even in the hot summer we were not allowed windows open.

No wearing Orange as it gave her a migrane.

oh, and one of the Office Juniors duties was to wash and wax her car once a week on a friday. However they still had to wear thier office clothes.

I hope she isnt a Mumsnetter but she was a total nutter!

MarioandLuigi · 22/01/2011 08:51

Oh and hair had to be tied back, she had a 'thing' about long, loose hair Hmm

MrsSchadenfreude · 22/01/2011 08:51

Everyone who worked there was slightly odd in some way. One bloke used to walk around chewing a pen - he used to crunch them up and swallow the plastic shards. He also used to vault over all of the desks in his way to get to his desk which was at the back of a large open plan office. If you got in earlier than him, you had to duck on risk getting kicked in the head as Mick took a run up to get over your desk.

There was also Ted who was in charge of stationery and used to treat it as if he had bought every item himself from his savings. You had to take your biro to him to show that it didn't work any more before he would give you a new one. And he would never give out tipp-ex (this was 1980s), only thinner, as "Drew has managed to keep his bottle of tipp-ex for over two years now and has never asked for a new one." All stationery logged in and out...

MotherofHobbit · 22/01/2011 09:09

We're not allowed to use the stairs -in case we fall- and must only use the lifts.

The exception is when the fire alarm goes off - although when I was pregnant and had my risk assessment I was told I was not allowed to use the stairs in the event of fire and had to wait for the fire marshalls to arrive to escort me out safely Hmm

BalloonSlayer · 22/01/2011 09:11

My sister works in the office at a massive oil refinery, and "in case of an incident" they all have to wear Closed Shoes. (ie so normal court shoes are not allowed, the top of the foot must be covered).

It always makes her laugh, as she says "If this place blows, like it's going to make ANY difference what bloody shoes you've got on."

frasersmummy · 22/01/2011 09:16

we get a 15 mins break morning and afternoon. At one time they were flexible but then they decided to give us all a fixed slot. This wasnt popular so they compromised.
10 mins fixed slot and 5 mins you can take any time for loo breaks, coffe etc

I got told off for taking 12 mins. I said I was allowed 15 mins. No my boss said - 10 mins. Yeah plus 5 flexible. So I have just been to the loo and now having my break..

his answer .. no fm you cant add that time on to your break... but ... you can return for 1 min and then take your break or return ffrom your break for 1 min and then take your flexible time.. but you cant take them together!!!!

Acekicker · 22/01/2011 09:21

My graduate induction course included a session with a harridan of an image consultant. Guys were done separately from the girls. She was big on accessories and we had to fill out a questionnaire where you got a point for each thing like a necklace, ring, scarf (wtf?!), belt etc. I thought I was doing very well due to my love of jewellery until she told me that once you had more than two rings you LOST a point for each ring and the same went for bracelets... We were supposed to score something between 5 and 8 points I think; I ended up with a minus score Grin.

A few years later we went 'business casual' and they just sent over the policy from the US offices - there was much juvenile sniggering at the prohibition on thongs!

NormaSknockers · 22/01/2011 09:22

We weren't allowed to open the windows at work. EVER. There was AC in place but it never worked properly.

We weren't allowed to eat at our desks yet the sandwich delivery guy would come to our desks to take our order and deliver it back to us. We would have to leave our lunch sitting on the desk mocking us 'til our break.

No mules, flip flops or slip on sandles were allowed to be worn. We were in an office so not like we worked on a building site!

Women were not allowed to wear strappy tops of any kind, they had to have sleeves.

I wore a skirt to work once that was just on the knee but had a small split on the right, nothing indecent. As I got into my colleagues car for a lift to work the split, well split, right along the seam. Thankfully it didn't go too high but did reach to the bottom of my thigh. Nothing much I could do except walk around with my hand clasped over it, my boss decided to tell me in a very loud booming voice in front of everyone that my skirt was inappropriate (she had real issues with me as it was) she made me feel so crappy about it I took the day off sick and went home.

StealthPolarStuckSpaceBar · 22/01/2011 09:27

Shock at these, pleased I have never worked anywhere like this
lol at the feng shui - I would ahve thought the recession would have got rid of that sort of thing

StealthPolarStuckSpaceBar · 22/01/2011 09:28

"MotherofHobbit Sat 22-Jan-11 09:09:13
We're not allowed to use the stairs -in case we fall- and must only use the lifts.

The exception is when the fire alarm goes off - although when I was pregnant and had my risk assessment I was told I was not allowed to use the stairs in the event of fire and had to wait for the fire marshalls to arrive to escort me out safely
"

Yes, that's exactly what you'd do as coleagues are running down the stairs!!

OP - was the veg curry & rice thing enforced?

PaisleyLeaf · 22/01/2011 09:37

It can take 3 people to change a lightbulb where I work.

The patient isn't allowed to change it and I'm not allowed to change it. But the man who is allowed to change it isn't allowed in the room on his own with the patient. So I'll stand there and supervise him changing the bulb if the patient is in the room.

Pippaandpolly · 22/01/2011 09:51

I know someone who works at a secondary school where in her department women are not allowed to wear trousers. So if you're a Physics/French/whatever teacher you can wear what you like, but her Head of Department thinks women in trousers are somehow offensive.

At my work we've got a new boss who makes us 'appreciate' each other at the end of each meeting. Sometimes it's funny or even quite nice, but sometimes, after a rubbish meeting where everyone's annoyed with each other, having to turn to the person next to you and find something nice to say about them is just the icing on the cake. My favourite appreciation I've received is 'nice glasses'.

NetworkGuy · 22/01/2011 10:02

Shame this is in _chat as it will eventually disappear.

Killing myself with laughter at so many completely daft rules, and some of the other anecdotes (like printing 'imaginative' new organisation charts to give others a bit of a fright!)

A lot of those should be put into a newspaper article (now I know why it is in _chat :) ) to show business leaders how stupid their middle managers are (for it must be mainly insignificant empire builders trying to feel important that make some of these things up!)

JessinAvalon · 22/01/2011 10:05

No balloons.

I found this out when blowing up balloons for a colleague's desk to celebrate his 30th birthday.

We have a policy on it apparently.

Someone in the building is allergic hence ban.

edam · 22/01/2011 10:25

When I was 19 so quite fresh faced and unwrinkled, I had an interview at a recruitment agency. Went quite well and I was offered the job straight away. But the woman told me very seriously 'you'll be expected to wear make up'. I WAS wearing discreet natural make up but took it as a compliment that she was such an old hag in tons of blue eyeshadow and orange foundation she was jealous of my youthful appearance!

Blackduck · 22/01/2011 10:25

I have been crying reading some of these - signing for eggs!!

And I recall the no walking across the parade ground (ever) - army brat - you used to have to go the long way round! And in the summer as a kid at school you couldn't wear short sleeves until the 'shirt sleeve order' was issued by the RSM!!

ChippyMinton · 22/01/2011 10:27

The oil refinery safety culture must be deeply engrained. When we bought our house, the seller (retired oil company employee) gave us a safety briefing including details of the fire escape routes from each bedroom.

MardyBra · 22/01/2011 10:38

I notice there are no posts from MN Towers on here.

Is that because there are no daft rules or they are too scared to post...?

DrNortherner · 22/01/2011 10:52

Lol at this thread, I love ;Have you signed for that egg?'

In my office we have a woman who is PA to the CEO who thinks she rules the roost. She has a key to the stationary cupboard and it opens twice a day for 30 minutes, if you miss the slot you can't have stationary. We are not allowed to keep coats and bags near our desk and not allowed to stick anything on the walls.

We have as kitchen but are not allowed to heat smelly food in the microwave, if something does pong she sniffs out who it is and tells them off.

Also we are not allowed to adjust the aircon either, despite there being controls for it all round the office. If we are to hot/cold we have to email her and she comes to adjust it....or sometimes she will suggest that one is not dresses accordingly for the temperature....