Strange / silly rules at work

[melpomene]

What strange or silly rules do you have in your workplace?

Here are some examples from the office where I work:

• My colleagues asked if we could have a small bookcase, because we have heaps of reference books on the desks and a bookcase would make it much easier to store and find them. We were told that it is against the policy to have bookcases or shelves, and that "if we got a book case then people would put things on it".
  

• They provide pencils but not pencil sharpeners, so when your pencil gets blunt you have to throw it away and get a new one.
  

• In the canteen, they sometimes serve vegetable curry. They also serve rice.
  

However, you are not allowed to have vegetable curry with rice. You are allowed to have vegetable curry with a baked potato, or chicken curry with rice, but not vegetable curry with rice .

Has anyone else got any silly rules?

[DrNortherner]

There is a pattern emerging here that bestowing the power of the stationary cupboard key is wrong! I hope I am never important enough to be the only key holder

[ElusiveMoose]

I used to work for a tiny company which didn't have rules as such, but did have a totally psychopathic boss. I once had to redo a huge mail-out (hundreds of stuffed envelopes), because I had apparently affixed the paperclips at the wrong angle.

Oh, and he also once tried to make me try to board a plane for France without a passport, on the basis that 'nobody would check'.

Happy days .

[InWithTheITCrowd]

I used to work for the police the public sector, and one policy in one of the admin offices (not an office I worked in, but one I used sometimes on an ad-hoc basis) was that every time any of the data input staff changed information on "the screen", it had to be printed out, so a supervisor could check the details, and then shred it and throw it away.

One day that I was there, there was a pile of over 200 pieces of paper waiting to be checked by a supervisor who freely admitted that she didn't really bother, and literally spent all day shredding paper that other people had printed out for no reason.

[potplant]

In my earlier career I used to be the holder of the key to the stationery cupboard so I had to implement the rules about old for new on pens and notepads (I'm just following the rules mate!). And you haved to be strict with the Post-its because people take the piss!

Just remembered another from DH's old company - they used to turn the phones off at lunchtime so everyone would take a break. Nobody would take a call from a client half an hour before lunchtime just in case it went on a bit and they got cut off.

[NetworkGuy]

InWithTheITCrowd - don't tell me, but the policy-maker's partner was a salesperson for a photocopying and laser printing firm, and got commission from the supply of shredder blades, replacement printers (as that punishment wore them out), and orders for hundreds of boxes of paper per year from that station... :)

[nickelbabysnatcher]

talking of master of keys etc.

At my last job, the cash office computer had its own password and it was a security thing, so every 28 days it had to be changed.
Fine, except the manager was a bit of an idiot, and would never remember to tell anyone the passowrd - he, asst manager and 3 seniors were on a rota to open and close the shop. So, if you opened the shop the day after the password was changed, you either had to hunt through the cash office and manager's office to find out if he'd written it on a post-it note, or guess (it was usually the same word 10 times with a different number on the end) - if you couldn't guess, then you'd have to wait for him or the asst manager to come in, so you couldn't open the shop (because to open the shop, you had to tell the computer you were open - obv you could open the doors, but you couldn't serve anyone because the tills were all switched on by the computer)

[lololizzy]

my bosses make me work Easter Sunday as they are pagans and don't believe in christians dictating that we should close (they don't work it though!). I don't mind as i am also pagan and it's such a boring day to be off however i don't like the fact i don't get paid extra nor a day off in lieu (in fact like all the other bank hols) In other words...just treated as a normal day.

[beanlet]

"i don't like the fact i don't get paid extra nor a day off in lieu (in fact like all the other bank hols)"

Actually, I think that may be illegal; you should check.

[Jacksmama]

I worked in a naturopathic clinic and they didn't allow a coffee maker in the kitchen - because they discouraged their patients drinking coffee because it can aggravate adrenal fatigue.

When we found the boss sneaking cappucinos at the cafe downstairs , we staged a coffee revolt. They still didn't allow a coffee maker, and glared openly at us having go-cups of coffee but nothing further was said :o

They were complete fuckwits, though. That was only the tip of the iceberg of micro-managing.

[notinbed]

Luckily my manager saw sense and tole me to use my own car and claim mileage, which I tried to do, only to be told (by the autocratic online expenses claiming system) that you can only claim for anything over and above your usual mileage to work.

To be fair, OTASC, why should you get paid expenses for something which only cost you the same as your normal journey to work? We also have such a rule (officially, people tend to ignore it - how did the expenses system know how far your journey to work was?), not only that, but HMRC don't allow you to make such claims, so if you did get paid for it you're supposed to pay full rate tax on it.

[Heroine]

I once worked in a place where the rule was ok - it was how it was applied - the rule was smart clothes which included clothes not having holes in - I wore a woollen jumper thing over my blouse and it obviously got snagged on the back in the way into work, and there was a visible hole. All day long the supervisor walked up an down behind me, and there was a shift change for the supervisors in the middle of my shift and a second walked up and down behind me.

At the end of the day a red-faced and upset supervisor called me into an office and just said 'I think you know what this is about' and I said 'Oh was I being monitored' (a call centre) she said 'no - I think you know what this is about' - I said 'no' she said come on now, there is no need to be silly' I said that I had no idea what she was talking about.

After a long staring silence she eventally said 'take off your jumper'. I asked why and she lost it saying 'you have been deliberately sitting there all day with a hole in the back of your jumper!! and its not just me, the previous supervisor has noticed' I said 'did none of you think to tell me?' she said 'its not our policy to inform people of clothing violations'

hmm

[Iguessyourestuckwithme]

Loving all of these

[ScarlettO89]

TheSkiingGardener I work for the same company as your DH! I have been checking to see if anyone had posted about it haha

[allegretto]

Sometimes I have to travel abroad for work and I can claim for food and expenses - but you are only allowed to claim for food consumed in a plane if you are actually abroad hence my expenses claim for a 4 euro sandwich was rejected because I didn't specify whether I was in Italian or French airspace when I was eating it.

[thenewaveragebear1983]

I worked in a prison. I wore plain black converse style pumps (I wasn't an officer, I was civilian staff, direct contact with inmates etc) thinking they were comfortable, and easy to run in in an emergency. I got told not to wear them. So I asked if I should wear high heels instead, and was told I could if I wanted.

[Laurabob]

So so so so many at this one particular law firm:

Lateness was measured by you not being at your desk with you computer on and work out of the (locked, yes we had to put everything away, including pictures) at 9am

Each manager had to log every instance on the computer, my partner got a disciplinary, for coming in early (working for free!) and being away from his desk at 9am as he was delivering the post that had printed over night to the post room, despite his boss seeing that his computer was in fact on, and had seen him come in early most days.

2 people had to go to the safe, the safe key was kept in an unlocked cupboard behind reception, you could literally pick the safe up and walk out of the office with it if you wanted... and it only contained cheques, for nominal amounts, in the companies name.

No hot food at desks, I used to get toast and lock it in my locker until it was cold, one day a manager asked to feel my toast in case it was warm. Apparently hot food was smellier than cold food. A friend of mine started eating kippers and sardines for lunch.

If you smoked, you was allowed a break, 15 minutes for each break, 2 maximum. You where not allowed to do anything else on this break, including going to the onsite shop, as non smokers where not allowed any breaks. You could probably have about 4 cigarettes in the 15 minutes, so very rarely did you actually get the 15 minutes back, unless the weather was nice...

I could go on and on, everything was micromanaged, every task had a unit of time, you had to fill out on the system what you did each day and how many, then you would get a disciplinary if you didn't do it in the time they thought it should take. The work was basically answering correspondence and typing things into a system, so it was pot luck if you actually got your work done in time, as you never new what your where getting in your pile. Some really unlucky competent people got into lots of trouble, where some really lucky incompetent people had a pretty sweet job.

It was also tedious and soul destroying, someone started shitting in the bin in the toilets, and an email from facilities went out, I think it was in protest....

[BananaInPyjama]

I worked for a big company hot on HSSE.

They upstairs office was clearing 1000's of old files out ahead of a building move.

Dilemna- with only stairs, how could the files be brought down, whilst still holding the handrail? Answer was : one at a time!

[schrutefarmbeets]

In my old job I was only allowed to type in Calibri font. Sending a document to my boss in Helvetica was a risk I'd never be willing to take.

[permanentlyexhaustedpigeon]

This is a marvellous thread - still giggling at the feng shui!

A temp job I had involved admin for a legal department.
Although everything I did involved paper copies of contracts and the like, we also had a clear desk policy which meant I wasn't allowed to put any of the paper on the desk. If I had to, they would let me put bits of A4 across my knees if it was a really important contract, but not on the desk.

My boss also had a phobia of staples - unfortunate in a legal department - so I had to check the post first to remove any staples from the documents. Staples then had to be walked down to the outside bin in case she might see any staples in someone's wastepaper basket. Once she'd finished with the document, I would then have to staple it back together again - in the stationery cupboard, with the door closed, and ensuring that I only clicked the stapler when someone was using the photocopier or printer to drown out the noise. I then had to announce "I'M GOING BACK TO MY DESK NOW!" so that she knew not to look out of her office - where she might catch sight of a staple by accident.

I think she might have done well to address that particular issue.

Also worked in an office where non-permanent employees had to be accompanied everywhere - absolutely everywhere - by a permanent employee, at all times. Unfortunately, most of the temps were women and almost all of the permanent staff were men, which caused embarrassment if the shadowed temp or the shadowing permanent employee needed the loo at any time.. How anyone got any work done was a mystery.

[wasonthelist]

I worked in an office where the dress code specified that men must have short hair - although it didn't say exactly how short.

[Catinthecorner]

The engineering office where it had been decided only people coded in the system as admin could scan more then six pages at once. We had a huge back log of paper files that needed to be scanned, transferred into an engineering drawing program, cleaned up and archived electronically before the paper files could be archived offsite. A bunch of engineering interns were hired to do the work. Given they had been coded as engineers not admin they were not able to scan more then six pages at at time.

The place that blocked computers access once a month if you weren't permenant staff. So contractors (about 30% of the staff), temps, interns, etc (another 20%) once a month would turn up to discover they were locked out of all IT, had to trek across site for a form, fill in form, have a manager sign the form, trek back across site to file it with IT and then wait to be allowed access to their computer again. Pointing out the interns had 1 year contracts, contractors 6 months rolling and temps general rolling contracts did nothing to solve this as 'you might leave before the contract finishes and still have access'. Permies presumably would never consider leaving.

The site where you needed to wear a vis vest to drive into/out of the car park because 'a tank driver might not see your car'. WTF the vis vest in the car would do to help this was never clarified.

[PleasantPheasant]

We have a tiny office that everyone needs to use at roughly the same time of the day.
We have laptops and no desk space to put them on, or chairs to then sit at the desk with.
We are not allowed to sit on the floor.
How then may we use the laptops?

[CharleyDavidson]

I used to work for tesco when thier old uniform was still in force - white dresses with tiny red spots. We also had to wear tan tights in all weathers and black shoes, no trousers allowed.

I used to stack shelves on the cereal and crisp aisles. Where the boxes were so big that when I unloaded them, they'd fill my arms and end up rubbing against my dress, which made my dress get grubby.

Unfortunately, as I only worked Fri eve and Sat all day at the time, I was only issued with one dress. I was pulled to one side once and told off by a(nother, not my) manager that my dress was grubby.

If you worked on produce or the deli counter etc, there was a red apron you could wear. This seemed like a good option for me (and made my bag of a dress more flattering too!) so I appropriated an apron if there was one available when I started my shift.

The same manager came and grabbed me and told me off for wearing the apron. When I told her why I was wearing it - that I didn't finish for work until Fri at 10pm and couldn't wash and dry my only dress in time to start work again at 9am on Sat (was poor and didn't own a drier or central heating at the time), she begrudgingly allowed me to order a second dress.