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If Mary used Mumsnet

66 replies

mylifewithmangers · 22/12/2010 16:05

If Mary used Mumsnet, she might just start a few threads like these:

Pregnancy > OMG, just had a holy vision from Gabriel. Could I be pregnant?

Philosophy/religion/spirituality > Should I join a church if I'm expecting the Son of God?

Baby names > Brian?

Baby names > Jesus - too chavvy???

Politics > Bloody Tory census forcing me to travel back home at 40 weeks gone. Grrrr.

Meet-ups > MN meetup in Bethlehem anyone?

Relationships > Reading DHs texts. He's having doubts about being the father. Is this the end of us?

AIBU > To park my donkey in a P&T space when I'm due DC1 any day???

Childbirth > Anyone else being forced into a stable-birth?

Childbirth > Think my waters just went, and I'm stuck in a bloody cow shed. Help!

Birth announcements > My miracle baby

_Chat > Wow that star overhead is REALLY bright (and anyone else hear singing?)

AIBU > To expect royal visitors not to turn up unannounced when I've just given birth?

_Chat > WTF is myrrh? Does it taste better than panettone?

Gifted and talented > Animals bow down to my baby, should he be on the G&T register?

Children's health > My newborn has a strange light shining from his head, what should I do?

Sleep > DS sleeping through, but I don't get any peace from hordes of angels. WWYD?

_Chat > Best place to buy boys clothes without pirates or 'World Saviour' slogans?

Car seats > What seat to fit rear-facing on a donkey?

Behaviour/development > What age did yours start blessing crowds?

Weaning > Can you BLW with loaves and fishes?

_Chat > Claiming CS payments from DS bio dad when he only communicates via prayer

Primary education > What are the good schools in Jerusalem

Behaviour/development > DC keeps turning water into fruitshoots

Food > Tips for feeding a family of 3 on 10 shekels a week

AIBU > Old friend having child and alcohol free wedding. AIBU to take DS along to liven things up?

Parenting > Telling DS he's not the Messiah, he's just a naughty boy!

OP posts:
Kitta · 22/12/2010 16:10

Telling DS he's not the Messiah, he's just a naughty boy!Xmas Grin

dustycups · 22/12/2010 16:12
Xmas Grin
GlossyPosse · 22/12/2010 16:12

She'd be accused of trolling.

And the narcisstic thing, which i've learned means self-centred.

MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 22/12/2010 16:15

AIBU to think that myrrh is a bit of a crap pressie?

MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 22/12/2010 16:17

AIBU not to want lots of visitors just after the birth of my baby? There's bugger all space here and the shepherds and wise men won't give me any space to bond with my baby.

MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 22/12/2010 16:20

Style and beauty tips: Accessories for a bright blue tent like dress please...

mylifewithmangers · 22/12/2010 16:40

Very good Mardy Xmas Grin

OP posts:
MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 22/12/2010 16:43

Was trying to think of some more but you seem to have most aspects covered. Xmas Wink

taintedsnow · 22/12/2010 16:49

Marking place.

This is very pleasing! Xmas Grin

MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 22/12/2010 16:50

How about:

I think everyone should worship DS. Am I being a bit too pfb?

MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 22/12/2010 16:55

Homes and gardens: Twigs and pebbly shit - suitable accessories for a stable?

5ElvesMooningSanta · 22/12/2010 16:55

DS has hordes of grown ups following him, should I be asking them to produce CRB checks?

MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 22/12/2010 17:14

Travel: Urgent hotel recommendations needed for Bethlehem area.

Sleb Twaddle: Herod - decent or dastardly?

pipplin · 22/12/2010 17:28

This has cheered me up no end!

GooseFatRoasties · 22/12/2010 17:30

nice oneGrin

FlightoftheCrimbleTree · 22/12/2010 17:49

Can I put my baby cheeses in the fridge?

MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 22/12/2010 18:34

MIL is visiting and is getting passive-aggressive about the lack of Xmas telly and having to sit on hay bales. Help!

mylifewithmangers · 22/12/2010 18:37

Mardy you are on a roll Xmas Grin. I rather blew all my ideas in the first post. I should have held back, drip fed and let everyone contribute. When will I ever learn?

Flight - whatever happened to MaryMotherofCheeses, is she still around. That was a genious name.

OP posts:
MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 22/12/2010 18:40

Never mind, mylife - they were entertaining even without the dripfeeding. But like I said earlier, I think you covered most angles.

tinkselgirl · 22/12/2010 18:48

chat> how do you tell 3 wise men, a bunch of shepherds and a few angels to bugger off when I'm BF?

chat> DH is refusing to nip to tesco's for pads.

AIBU> I just given birth and DH hasn't brought me any flowers.

Xmas Grin
TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 22/12/2010 18:49

Style and Beauty - I'm sick of wearing blue - does Boden do anything?

AIBU - to exchange Myrrh for PS3 without a receipt?

Self-employed - 4 blokes have sold my life story - can I claim royalties?

stillavirgin · 22/12/2010 18:53

dadsnet: DW is pregnant by another man, and he's a tough act to follow!

SilveryMoon · 22/12/2010 18:54

This is very funny Grin
'Behaviour/development > DC keeps turning water into fruitshoots'
rofl

ThisIsANiceCage · 22/12/2010 19:00

Frankincense - any good against zombies?

muminthecity · 22/12/2010 19:02

AIBU - To be pissed off that DH forgot to book hotel and I now have nowhere to give birth?

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