If Mary used Mumsnet

[mylifewithmangers]

If Mary used Mumsnet, she might just start a few threads like these:

Pregnancy > OMG, just had a holy vision from Gabriel. Could I be pregnant?

Philosophy/religion/spirituality > Should I join a church if I'm expecting the Son of God?

Baby names > Brian?

Baby names > Jesus - too chavvy???

Politics > Bloody Tory census forcing me to travel back home at 40 weeks gone. Grrrr.

Meet-ups > MN meetup in Bethlehem anyone?

Relationships > Reading DHs texts. He's having doubts about being the father. Is this the end of us?

AIBU > To park my donkey in a P&T space when I'm due DC1 any day???

Childbirth > Anyone else being forced into a stable-birth?

Childbirth > Think my waters just went, and I'm stuck in a bloody cow shed. Help!

Birth announcements > My miracle baby

_Chat > Wow that star overhead is REALLY bright (and anyone else hear singing?)

AIBU > To expect royal visitors not to turn up unannounced when I've just given birth?

_Chat > WTF is myrrh? Does it taste better than panettone?

Gifted and talented > Animals bow down to my baby, should he be on the G&T register?

Children's health > My newborn has a strange light shining from his head, what should I do?

Sleep > DS sleeping through, but I don't get any peace from hordes of angels. WWYD?

_Chat > Best place to buy boys clothes without pirates or 'World Saviour' slogans?

Car seats > What seat to fit rear-facing on a donkey?

Behaviour/development > What age did yours start blessing crowds?

Weaning > Can you BLW with loaves and fishes?

_Chat > Claiming CS payments from DS bio dad when he only communicates via prayer

Primary education > What are the good schools in Jerusalem

Behaviour/development > DC keeps turning water into fruitshoots

Food > Tips for feeding a family of 3 on 10 shekels a week

AIBU > Old friend having child and alcohol free wedding. AIBU to take DS along to liven things up?

Parenting > Telling DS he's not the Messiah, he's just a naughty boy!

'Family planning > Virginity has not proved an effective contraceptive ...'....
AHAHAHAHA!!!!!

WWYD: having trouble getting DS into the bath! The bloody kid just walks on the water!

AIBU to be annoyed the only baby gifts weve recieved were from royalty , and it wasnt a bugaboo ?

WWYD ? My husband wants me to get maintenence from DS`s real dad . I dont hold out much hope that the csa can help. GOD knows where he is ?

Behaviour / development> omg, DS (12) has been hanging round the Temple disputing with strange men - G&T or child protection issue?

Hey mylife - your thread took off in the end

and then apparently I killed it.

lol mardy It seems that you did. But it's ok, I thought I'd come and rescue you as I am a master thread-killer

Sleep-a new mattress for the manger Or is straw ok?

Prams: Which travel system would you recomend that will fit on the back of a donkey?

Relationships: I've had a child but never had sex, what do I do????

LOL nymphadora, I was just trying to think of something along the same lines!

Breast and bottle feeding > Hungry baby at 12 weeks. HV suggested manna in his bottle??

Potty training > Chorus of angels as reward for pooing on the potty?

Food > DS has invited 5,000 mates round for the weekend. Any ideas on how to make a few loaves and fishes stretch that far?

Parenting: Terribles Twos; DS smote nieghbours child WWYD?

Message deified by Mumsnet

Oh good smiting and deifying there!!

OK my last few efforts I promise:

Bereavement > Old friend Lazarus has died, should I take DS to his funeral?

_Chat > DS keeps leaving the door open. He was born in a barn. Is there anything I can do?

Childbirth > Do cows make good doulas?

Merry Christmas one and all!!!!

Ha ha ha!

Sorry, I meant

HO HO HO!!!