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Teachers. Admit it. This is a perk of the job isn't it?

334 replies

pagwatch · 16/12/2010 13:22

Just got dds work home as she finishes this week.

In the bag are some things that are mounted and have clearly been on the wall either in the classroom or (gulp) the main corridors or halls.

In one she provides a slice of homelife which is mighty embarrassing and makes us sound like total wankers. She also talks about drinking wine. She is 8.

You find these things don't you, with a silent shout of glee. I have believed this since my mother told me about turning up at my school and on the wall was a picture I had drawn of her and dad 'playing in the bath'.

Come on. You might as well admit it....

Blush and Grin

OP posts:
hellsbells76 · 18/12/2010 16:53

There was the parent's evening where DS's teacher said 'He's told me about the times you have 'sofa days' where you snuggle up under a duvet and watch films all day, how lovely' but her eyes were saying 'that's when you have a hangover, isn't it?'

Oh and the time DD answered the door to the postman one Saturday morning and announced 'Mummy was sick because she had too much wine'. Never could look him in the face after that.

Georgimama · 18/12/2010 16:57

My nephew told his nursery that the red mark on his leg was where his nan (my mother) had slapped him.

Shock

She really, really hadn't. My brother and SIL had no idea why he said it.

GrimmaTheNome · 18/12/2010 16:59

Fortunately in a letter to her ex-nanny not schoolwork, but when we got our current dog she wrote about him, explaining that this one hadn't been 'newted', unlike the dog the nanny had known. Complete with diagrams, of course.

sephrenia · 18/12/2010 17:03

When I was in year 10, I used to babysit my two brothers for my mum so she could work overtime and as payment, got 10 cigarettes a week. This worked fairly well and I babysat for months.

One day however, it went wrong. Mum had bought the cigarettes for me as usual and had sat on the sofa in the living room behind me and started peeling vegetables for tea.

At this point she decided to snatch the cigarettes from me for a laugh while taking a break from peeling. I was trying to snatch them back and she was trying to stop me and we were both giggling madly. We both forgot that she still had the vegetable knife in her hand though and as I reached for the cigarettes, she tried to push my hand away....with the hand she was holding the knife in.

Mum went white, I howled and I swear I've never seen her move that fast either before or since. Needless to say, she hit the first aid kit at light speed and soon enough, I had a rather oversized plaster on my arm for what was, in reality, only a small cut. I didn't mind though because I got loads of ice-cream that night as an apology.

Next day I was at school and it was P.E and inevitably, the teacher saw the plaster and asked what happened to get it.

Without thinking I replied, "I tried to get the cigs off mum and she stabbed me."

As the teacher turned purple I realised what I'd said and tried to explain but it was a little late by then and social services were called. It was all straightened out in the end but I've never let her live it down and still win arguments by saying, "you may have done that but you stabbed me so I win"

Needless to say, I never babysat for my brothers again Xmas Grin

Georgimama · 18/12/2010 17:11

Your mother paid you in cigarettes?

Shock Shock

I think you may have misunderstood this thread - everyone else's parents hadn't actually done anything wrong....

harpsichordcarrier · 18/12/2010 17:15

'my mummy says she wants to be in prison.'
me - 'oh, erm, OK. Gosh (etc etc)
'she says even murderers in prison get to eat their breakfast in peace.'
god how I empathised with that woman.

sephrenia · 18/12/2010 17:16

I guess I did. I'll get that post removed.

harpsichordcarrier · 18/12/2010 17:21

sephrenia PLEASE don't feel you have to get it removed....
I don't really see why you should censor your experience, if you wanted to share it.

ValiumShimmer · 18/12/2010 17:24

Sephrenia, I like your story! Being paid in cigarettes if you KNOW your teenager smokes, well, I've heard of worse parenting failures tbh!!!

When I was doing a school exam one of the questions in biology paper was to draw the male reproductive organs. I drew it erect and I couldn't understand why invigilators were laughing and walking up and down past my desk. I think I had everything correctly wired up and correctly labelled though.

TrillianAstra · 18/12/2010 17:27

I think that's a funny story Sephrenia. Lesson learned, never play-fight while holding a knife!

sephrenia · 18/12/2010 17:32

harpsichordcarrier - We've always been a very physical kind of family and playfighting was always kinda rough and it was purely an accident and it's something that my mum and I still giggle over because of how I said it to the teacher even though to us, it really wasn't a big deal.

And yes Georgimama she paid me with them. She had to work 16 hours a day, had nobody else to turn to that she could trust with us while managing to avoid my biological father who beat the heck out of her for 7 years and was still hunting for us. She couldn't afford a proper babysitter and so I stepped up and was happy to do it.

What's so shocking about a 15 year old babysitting for cigs anyway? It's not like most people my age weren't smoking or anything and I was a darn sight cheaper than a registered babysitter.

NormaSknockers · 18/12/2010 17:34

sepherina don't have it deleted, I thought it was a fab story! My father bought me cigs when I was 15, used to let me smoke in the house too.

sephrenia · 18/12/2010 17:35

valiumshimmer My mum knew I smoked and knew from when I was 13. She tried to put me off smoking by getting me to smoke a pack of cigars without being sick and said if I was determined enough to do that, then I had the right to make the choice to continue with it. I smoked them and so she decided that rather than have me going begging strangers to buy them for me, she would bargain with me instead so we both got something.

TrillianAstra very true!

Georgimama · 18/12/2010 17:36

Your mother giving you cigarettes is shocking. Giving you £2 for babysitting would not be, giving you fags is. My judgy pants are sitting quite comfortably on my fat arse on this subject.

sephrenia · 18/12/2010 17:41

I guess this is one area where we won't agree then Georgimama. I didn't want £2, I wanted cigarettes and to be given the £2 in cash would have felt insulting whereas having the cigarettes meant she was treating me as the adult I was becoming which, at 15, means the world.

StealthPolarBear · 18/12/2010 17:52

"'my mummy says she wants to be in prison.'
me - 'oh, erm, OK. Gosh (etc etc)
'she says even murderers in prison get to eat their breakfast in peace.'
god how I empathised with that woman."

PMSL

TheYuleLogLady · 18/12/2010 18:01

Helping at playgroup: Small boy in the loo:

'DDsMum - I have a small willy. it's a nice willy but it is small.'

Me; 'um, yes dear'

Smallboy: ' yes it is small. nice and soft but small. my daddy has a big willy. really big. do you think mine will be be big when i'm big like daddy'?

Me: 'hmmm, yes dear'

TheYuleLogLady · 18/12/2010 18:02

DD2 alos told her reception teacher I was in a band and was on the TV singing Grin

BrandyButterPie · 18/12/2010 18:09

DD1 likes to pull her top up and say "do you like my boobies? They are little boobies. Mummy has big boobies." It is actually quite funny to see people's reaction to that one, lol.

She also decided that tonight, while my daily mail reading auntie and uncle in law were visiting, was the time to ask why she couldn't marry her sister, because ladies do sometimes marry ladies and mummy and daddy already lived in the same house when thay got married.

Sigh.

Lynli · 18/12/2010 18:10

Sephrenia, your post says you were 10.

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 18/12/2010 18:11

yr 10, so 15/16? 16 was the legal age to smoke up until a few years ago. hardly shocking

NormaSknockers · 18/12/2010 18:11

No, it says she was in year 10. Read the post properly.

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 18/12/2010 18:11

lunli, says year 10.

blackcoffee · 18/12/2010 18:12

YEAR 10

PixieOnaLeaf · 18/12/2010 18:16

This reply has been deleted

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