What little things does lovely DH/DP do for you? (balancing thread I'm reading toooo many EA/DV threads)

[merrywidow]

He comes to lay on the bed to cuddle me and chat

Brings me a cup of tea in the morning

Makes me a cup of tea before I go to bed

Has always been generous with money

Is nice to my barking mother

Is such a good Dad that I feel a bit sad for my childhood self that I didn't have one like him (my Dad was OK though, just not brilliant like DH)

Tells me I am a good Mum even when I have had a shit day with the kids and feel like the worst mother who ever lived

Cooks me dinner at the weekends and is nice about the dinners I cook in the week

Always tells me how much he loves/fancies me

Helped me with my application form for my dream job when I hadn't worked for eight years and was climbing the walls with nerves and stress and I'll-never-get-the-job-ness. I got it

Calms me down when I am anxious and unreasonable.

Buys me doughnuts

Takes me to the opera even though I know he prefers ballet.

Seeks out shows/cinema screenings of obscure films or plays he knows I will love.

Cooks my favourite food.

Dances with me in the living room when we happen to have some cheesy music on.

Pays me compliments and tells me how much he admires me.

...and the sex is great .

Aw, what a lovely thread.

Mine:

Makes me coffee every morning and brings it to me in bed.

Makes pancakes with bacon and maple syrup (nearly) every Saturday morning.

Doesn't mind that I am a butterball (blame it on said pancakes).

Is a real, automatic feminist.

Brings home films from the video rental because he thinks I might like them (not just because he does).

Emails me from work to say hi during the day.

Puts up with half my sentences starting, 'And there's a woman on MN who says ...'

He is lovely.

Cuddles me in the middle of his sleep

texts me at work to say he loves me

cooks (and he is a good cook!)

does 'family snuggles' - when I carry DS around he comes and wraps us up in a warm hug

Mine does the jobs round the house that turn my stomach, cleaning plugholes, emptying the compost bin and putting out spiders.

When I lost a bit of weight told me he thinks I look really great and likes my trim figure. When I put on a bit of weight says he likes me like that and that my figure looks better.

Always lets me know he fancies me.

Is very giving in bed.

....plus more :)

My dh is amazing, he does so much that it would run to pages if I wrote it all down. His favourite thing to say is "have I told you that I love you today?"

plays wii with ds1 and always reads and puts him to bed, which i secretly love because ds1 is from a previous marriage :)

Excellent thread.

My husband thanks me for everything, things I do every day - cooking dinner, doing the washing up, giving DD a bath, etc

Constantly tells me how much he fancies me.

Gets upset if he goes all day at work without speaking to me at least once.

Insists I go to get my hair done, buy new clothes because I tend to let these things go

Shaves my nethers.

Always treats me with respect, never shouts, never threatens.

Constantly tells me I am a good woman and he is lucky to have me.

I could go on........

So, perhaps this is not a thread I ought to be on..

But can you, anyone, answer me this?

Is all this stuff 109 posts and counting what happens in ordinary relationships?

Or genuinely, are these beings rare species?

Could someone give me a ratio here?

LilMs... I think this is what should happen in ordinary relationships.

But I'm beginning to think that all 110 posts are from women who are exceptionally lucky. I think I can count on the fingers of both hands how often I've heard lovely stories like this from people (and my job requires me to talk to people all day long). That's really sad.

I said to someone recently that I thought DH and I have an exceptionally good relationship.
Her reply? "Then you're missing something."
I told DH this and he was appalled. He also said "well then we're both missing something" :o

He brought me coffee in bed this morning when he heard my alarm go off.

LilM - this thread has a title specifically addressing people with lovely partners, so it's not going to be a rounded picture of course.

But I think I could put at least some of these nice things down for every relationship I've been in (just about). It is important to remember that none of our DPs/DHs do ALL of these things though, so if someone's saying "he makes me coffee every morning" it doesn't mean he also cleans the bathroom, avoids farting in bed or knows where the forks are kept :o

One of my ex-BFs was a lazy stoner, but I could truthfully have gone on a thread like this and said "he makes me soup when I'm ill, writes me stories, wrote a song for me and is always ready with a hug". I could have gone on another thread and said he was a lazy arse who drank far too much, had smelly clothes and never listened to a word I said. :o

In all honesty there should be lovely things in all relationships - if there aren't, why are you in them? There are a lot of really lovely men out there, and even more who are perfectly decent and kind.

DP does so much for me

He comes to mine almost daily depending on what hours he is working, but will pop in everyday after work even if it is silly o'clok just to tell me he loves me and have a kiss goodnight before he goes home.

runs me a bath,
looks after dc for me whenever i ask.

Took DS1 on as his own son and stood up for him against his biological father when he upset him.

He does so many wonderful things but for me the most wonderful thing he did

He would not let me give DS2 his surname as he did not want DS1 to feel left out, so when he adopts DS1 when we marry he will adopt DS2 as well.

I could do a list of things DH does that annoy me (can't find anything, is mystified by that ring on the bath that appears and disappears etc).

But although there are the usual annoying habits, there is NOTHING he does that makes me feel bad about myself, or that makes me feel unloved. And plenty that he does which makes me feel good about myself, loved, sexy etc

The thread is about the positivies. I am sure we all have some negatives to tell. Big problems arise when you don't have sufficient positives to outweigh the negatives, or the negatives are so huge and important that a cup of tea in bed in the morning cannot possibly compensate.

I agree with BS

I never feel unloved, I never feel unwanted, I never feel scared.

He treats me with respect, tells me he loves me all the time, tells me I'm the best, looks at me with lust in his eyes.

He also does all the washing up, and cleans up after the dog.

I agree too - DP might be annoying sometimes, but at heart he makes me feel loved, appreciated and fancied. And he makes me smile every day.

Brings me flowers every Friday

Does LOTS of cooking, he knows I hate it!

Tea in bed at weekends

Runs me baths and even buys yummy bath stuff that I'd be too mean to buy!

Is a general 'go to' guy so that no problem ever seems insurmountable when he's around.

DH cried when my cat got run over - even though he hates cats.

*LilMsUnfortunateAxeIncident8 I have a very 'ordinary' relationship. In fact after 25 years I think we've grown apart - I don't really feel the intense bond with dh that I would like to. BUT... I'd be the first to say that he's an exceptionally kind, caring person. When the DCs were tiny he's come in from work and say 'You look tired - I'll cook'. He brings me coffee in bed if he's up first, he's a great dad, if I ask him to do something he'd rarely object. He took a day off work to take ds1 to a course in North Wales just so that I could go off with a group of blokes on a sea kayak trip... on our wedding anniversary!

Would be a very long list, but some are..

The kindest man on the planet, he doesnt have a mean bone in his body.

He is always telling me how beautiful I look, I think he needs an eye test, but will not encourage it.

Tells everyone at his work how much he loves and misses me, he works away in the week.

Always says how delicious the meal was, even when I've burnt something.

Always telling our 2 DDs how smart and beautiful they are.

Is very good at de-cluttering the house, this is good as I am a hoarder!

Makes the best scrambled egg and mushrooms for Sunday brunch.

Never questions how many pairs of shoes/jeans/handbags I have, and encourages me to buy 2 of anything I really like

Always does the mucky jobs in the house.

Is very understanding when I have PMT.

I love him more now than when we married 21 years ago!! And miss him so much when he is working away that my heart aches

Still wants to be with me after 25+ years and we rub along just fine. We've been through all sorts together and still laugh together and fancy each other. That'll do for me.

Anything else is a bonus.

DH does lots of lovely little things.

(and to be honest I couldn't think of anything to add on a "what does your DH do that annoys you" thread)

He's always telling me how much he loves me and thanking me for asking him out when he was too shy.

He always asks how my day was and really listens to the answer.

He can barely walk past me without stopping for a hug.

He does all the cleaning (without me asking) and even volunteers for big jobs like cleaning windows without me even noticing it needs doing

He won't let me carry suitcases/shopping unless his hands are totally full.

Although he HATES cooking, he will do it when I'm ill/tired/fed up of cooking without complaining.

When I got bitten by a dog, he went out at 10pm in the dark and rain to find an open pharmacy and buy whatever was needed.

Oh and, always, always ladies first in bed

asbolutelyfabulous - just wanted to say, do you really think he 'shaves your nethers' out of the kindness of his heart, just for you??

Yes, Pixie, I think it's a bit of win-win situation.

Lovely thread - I find some of the dh related ones on here quite bleak.

Another lucky wife here with a devoted, besotted, selfless dh and when I recently had spent a marathon at the hairdresser's having cut/colour/highlights which I knew was going to be about £200 - I went to pay and they said 'oh your dh has phoned and paid whilst you were here'!! Love him.