What little things does lovely DH/DP do for you? (balancing thread I'm reading toooo many EA/DV threads)

[merrywidow]

He comes to lay on the bed to cuddle me and chat

Love this thread

DH will never moan about cooking after getting home from work, even though I'm a SAHM, if the DC have been driving me mad and I've been run off my feet.

Is lovely to my family and chats to my crazy nan.

Will go out to the shops in the dead of night to feed my chocolate addiction.

Makes the best Roast dinner

Listens to me and gives great, empathetic but practical advice

Does all the DIY and is brilliant at it

Tells me I'm beautiful, or I look great in what I'm wearing, or I'm clever lots

Gave me two brilliant kids and is a great dad

Is always on my side and gets really angry on my behalf if I need him to be

Will sacrifice what he wants to make sure the kids and I are happy.

Works his arse off.

Loves football, but rarely watches it when I'm around (even though I wouldn't mind.... shhhh!)

Shares the housework, cooks, rubs feet/back on demand, gets my slippers for me if I'm standing in the kitchen without them (always get cold feet) and now I'm pregnant brings me breakfast in bed every morning.. When we disagree he still listens to my pov and will admit to being wrong if he is (as will I!) hugs/kisses me, compliments me.. Doesn't complain about any of my many faults.. I feel very lucky!

I love these threads, it was actually these kind of threads that made me realise that my X really was a prick.. So although I'm single, its great to read about what exists out there! Maybe I'll find one of these types of men too!

Yeah - he's on my side, thats the main one.

Yells at the top of his voice 'Love you ----(surname)' from round the house.

Sneaks a bottle of fizzy wine into the fridge for me.

Laughs when I forget things he'd asked me to do.

Always puts on the outside light if I go out so I dont fall up the steps coming home.

Will always go to the shop to get the bits I completely forgot to put on the food order.

Collects my daughter from work.

Runs errands for me when its really snowy and I dont want to drive (and has bashed his car twice in the process because its so hilly where we are and didnt get cross with me).

This one made me cry:

He bought me an overnight stay at a spa as a Christmas present, very lovely I thought(that wasnt the bit that made me cry). But he also paid for my best friend to go too because she was recovering from chemo for breast cancer at the time (that was the bit that did it). Then he got all teary too!

Set your sights high, FF. I recommend a "shopping list" of nice man qualities, and don't settle for less. :)

Bare minimum is:

• interesting
• fanciable
• worthy of respect (I don't mean rich or might, just that you really don't want a partner you feel sorry for)
• kind & considerate in day to day matters

Then add your own - deep or shallow. It worked for me and my friends. No more idiots :o

Thanks E&M!

thats a good idea! A list it is when I'm next on the look out!

glad to hear it worked for you and your friends.

Oh....between the sheets its the ladies first rule

He loves me, it's in his eyes and the way he looks at me... it's in every little thing he does for me and everything I do for him and everything we do together with our DD's.

But he's still a fecking pain in the arse sometimes

Today, I know, when I get home the washing will be done and the house will be spotless - ready for it to be trashed by his three girls. And he will never complain about it. He is great.

oh, and he ALWAYS tells me that I look beautiful when I feel (and look) like a sack o shite. I wonder how he knows to do that...

OK, DH got grumpy because I only mentioned the cleaning up of cat vomit, so here is the peaen of praise:

Tells me I'm lovely
Tells DD she is lovely
Plays with DD when I'm about to strangle her
Always kisses me goodbye
Tells his friends he has a lovely wife
Supports me in my disability and does all the driving etc that I can no longer do
Stopped seeing his mate who told him he should leave me now I was disabled as I wouldn't "be any use" anymore
Cooks when I can't be bothered
Does all the hoovering
Irons his own shirts
Doesn't care the house is messy
Buys me presents when I can't bring myself to buy £40 tubes of face cream
Puts up with 3 mad cats
Shoots the pigeons that are attacking my doves, and then cooks them and feeds them to the 3 mad cats who thus love him
Obeys all orders relating to making beds and putting away towels
Cooks for DD and her friends when I'm lying down

Oh, and, just to add:

He cleans up cat vomit

He has volunteered to cook me scrambled eggs and mushrooms (my favourite meal) on Friday for a late breakfast after the school run, wearing only his best underwear.

He chooses books for me that he thinks I will like, and he arranges interesting outings for us both to quirky events....from protest marches, to posh hotels, to lectures, book readings and long country walks.

He is the most thoughtful man in the world and, yes, is always on my side and boosting my self esteem (I could get quite big headed!).

This is my first post on MN, even though I've been lurking for ages, but have to reply to this thread, simply because I reckon I have the best DH in the world!

Nice things my DH has done for me... so many to mention, but some of his best include:

1. Him holding me & giving me a hug every time I cry because I desperately miss my 12 year old cat who died in June. He never makes me feel silly or stupid, never says "it was only a cat", and often says "I know what he meant to you and how much you miss him, I understand". :o

2. Coming to a hospital appointment with me, purely for moral support because he knows I'm worried.

I can go on, but the list is too long!

Well things not just for me but what I think a good dad should do (like mine did)

Fusses that the children have done their homework, got everything they need for scouts, cubs, school trips.

Takes time off for important events for the boys such as 1st time DS2 was picked for a football game even though he is self employed and loses a lot of money (Boys first!)and for when the boys are off sick he will make sure the calpol etc is there and makes sure they are comfortable.

Makes sure everyones clothes are ironed and polished especially the lads for school.

Goes to church although not Catholic to support me and the boys.

Makes the boys make a fuss of me.

When I sit down at night he brings in my fav chocolate and drink - or if I'm dieting doesn't.

Tolerates me talking shit when I'm drunk, eventually he may say ' your rambling now!!'

Breakfast in bed whenever I want.

Goes to gigs that he really isn't into to keep me happy.
etc etc etc.

welcome to MN, QT

wow - am very impressed with all your husbands - have realised how badly dh and I actually get on and will have to seriously consider options!!! maybe the reason I often lack confidence is because my relationship with dh is actually non-existent - plus he does shout and say mean things...

anyway, sorry to hijack thread with negativity - please carry on :)

That's sad arabella2

well I just think we have so many issues that we are kind of deadened to each other, plus am too anxious about bringing any of it up because of what he might say.... but am really enjoying reading all the positive stories on here which are a good indication of what a relationship should and can be like so thank you!

Arabella2
I've just re read my post and I have to admit it sounds bloody smug and it certainly wasn't meant that way.

Me and Dh have been together for 20 years and we have had some incredibly tough times, some due to circumstances beyond our control some due to personal reasons. However we have long come through it.

Hopefully you can bring things up with your DH in a way that is comfortable for you, a little at a time, to get to the point where you are happy once again.

arabella :(

DH is fab and I am v.v.lucky

Tea in bed every morning, often toast too
Cooks me lovely dinners
Washes my car and sorts out the oil and all those grubby jobs that I am perfectly capable of but hate
Removes all spiders when requested, even at 3am
Gives me lovely hugs all the time and tells me I look beautiful even when I manifestly do not! Oh and all the bedroom stuff
Buys me lovely, thoughtful presents
Cooked all meals even though working full time when I had morning sickness
Agrees that I am right
Is a wonderful and brilliant Dad to DS
Rings me from work to tell me he loves me

He is working at home today, so I'm off to give him a kiss and tell him how fab he is :)

upahill - I didn't think anyone was being smug :) I think what happens is that you tend that everyone else's relationship must me like your own (functional - co-parents - almost nothing else) so it is good to know that in fact people can and do actively love each other.

:( Arabella

FWIW Dp is my second 'go' and I could fill thread with the dreadful behaviour of my exh during that marriage.

Having got myself and littlemad out of a bad situation I know I wouldn't be prepared to stand for that kind of thing again as it took all that to make me realise what I was worth.

I hope you find a way to bring the same sort of sunshine into your lives

I've never been able to write a convincing "partner want list". This thread's doing it for me! Keep 'em coming :)

Mine is second time around too Arabella, would have been a much shorter list first time...well, non-existent really. At least it clarifies what you really do want next time round

Sends me a text every morning telling me he loves me.

Brings me tea in bed at weekends to wake me after he has done my chores

Lets me warm my freezing cold hands in his toasty warm belly

Announced to me and my children how he would marry me if i wanted to

Buys me packets of love hearts

Brings my parcels that have arrived in the post today when he picks me up from the station because he knows I am too impatient to wait the 10 minute journey back to the house :) :)