LOOK!! READ !!!!!!

[Hbouquet]

THIS MUMSNET WEBSITE IS THE BIGGEST GATHERING OF VULGAR, CLASS OBSESSED, SELFISH, INSECURE, VILE EXCUSES FOR PEOPLE, I PITY YOUR CHILDREN.

LISTEN TO YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT CHILD ALLOWANCE, £44,000 IS STILL WAY TOO HIGH!!, HAVE YOU NOT SPARED A THOUGHT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY IN REAL POVERTY?, WHO REALLY NEED STATE HELP....NO, YOU JUST DRIVE PAST IN YOUR 4X4'S WITH YOUR SPOILT, OBESE, ALLERGY RIDDEN SMUG KIDS ON THE WAY TO GET YOUR CHAI LATTE AND M&S PANINI FOR LUNCH, IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THE BLINKERED IGNORANCE AND SELFISHNESS OF MODERN DAY WOMEN IN ENGLAND, LIVING YOUR ENCLAVE LIKE LIFESTYLE, TOTALLY DETACHED FROM HUMANITY, INSECURE 'IM ALRIGHT JACK' MENTALITY, BITCHY, SCHEMING, CLASS OBSESSED, MATERIAL OBSESSED, YOU REALLY MAKE ME SICK TO THE CORE, THE LOT OF YOU.

JUST LOOK AT THE FACES OF THE PEOPLE WHO RUN THIS WEBSITE, LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR, DO YOU SEE LOVE AND HUMAN WARMTH?......NO, YOU SEE CONTORTED, COLD, MEAN, MISERLY FACES, EYES AND MOUTH SCREWED UP, FALSE LOOKING CONTRIVED EXPRESSIONS, A LOOK WHICH SHOWS THESE PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE, SELF LOATHING, UNHAPPY, INSECURE WORST OF THE WORST, LIFES REAL LOOSERS.

The last paragraph was the one that made me laff the most. Actually my face does look a bit contorted, mean and miserly today, but that's because I'm almost 9 months pg and VERY hormonal. So, well done OP for cheering me up!

That's good, I don't like coffee so the more it tastes of gingerbread and the less it tastes of coffee is fine by me :o

Milky tea is just boakville.

I DON'T DRINK CHAI LATTES! SMUGLY PUSHES PAST ALL YOU SELFISH TYPE TO GET HER MOCHA!

Well I'm in Wales, so obviously exempt from all the sweeping generalisations made by OP!

Is that why I also haven't received my 4x4, my children are of a healthy weight, have no allergies (that we know of admittedly) and don't appear to be smug?!

If so, I may jusy relocate over the border to take delivery of my 4x4 - with dc3 on the way, the space would certainly be handy!!

cooo-eeeee, are you going to come back for a reasonable discussion of why you are so angry and bitter and misguided??

I SEE I SHOULD HAVE READ THE THREAD! FUCKS SAKE!

SPEAK UP MORLOTH, I CAN'T HEAR YOU?

AWWW CRAP, I HAVE ALLERGY KIDS AND NO CAR

WOE IS ME!

Hit a raw nerve did we????

THIS THREAD IS FUCKING HILARIOUS!

CAN'T I JUST ASK THE CHILDREN OF SOME POOR PEOPLE TO DO IT FOR ME, THEY'VE GOT TO EARN THEIR CHILD BENEFIT SOMEHOW?

CAN YOU HEAR ME PIXIE? THE AGA'S PLAYING UP NOW, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO USE THE ESPRESSO MACHINE TO MAKE THE CHAI NOW...

HBouquet, I am middle class, but I am on MN partly because it is a way to mix with people whom I would never meet otherwise (many people think "everyone" is like them, and so make generalisations about society based on what they and their circle think; I don't want to be like that, and find MN humbles me and expands my world-view).

To me, MN is a very egalitarian place, for people who pay attention to what people actually post.

How many threads have you not clicked on because they were clearly about some dreary problem of child maintenance, or school pressure to contribute beyond a family's means, or how to get a child's special needs seen to on the NHS without having to go ruinously private? Shame on you for passing those over and tarring all MNers with the "smug middle class" brush.

Oh Piss Orf, why don't you OP?

AAAAGH!!! I LOOKED IN THE MIRROR!!! OP I'M GOING TO NEED THERAPY FOR LIFE, I NEED THE CB TO PAY FOR IT!!

NEVER LOOK IN THE MIRROR UNTIL THE BOTOX HAS SETTLED DOWN KALOKI.

3 SKINNIES, ONE REGULAR SIZED DD.

AND ONE CANT EAT M+S PANINI DUE TO ALLERGIES :(

If all you bitter and twisted biatches would like to come over here in about half an hour, you can all have a nice, home made cupcake (either coffee or chocolate) and a chai latte (made from the powdered stuff from a tub, but I promise to flooff up the milk with me aerolatte*.

• • all aforementioned luxury items funded from my child benefit, with what's left going to fund my ChunkyMunky icecream habit!

VULGAR - well, my mum thinks my tattoos are vile
CLASS OBSESSED - nope
SELFISH - nope
INSECURE - occasionally
HAVE YOU NOT SPARED A THOUGHT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY IN REAL POVERTY? - yes
WHO REALLY NEED STATE HELP - not that many people in the UK in genuine poverty, try living in rural villages in Africa or the Far East. Have you spared a thought for them?
4X4'S - nope, would hate to try and park one. My 15 yo Astra seems to do just as well in the snow as a 4X4 though.
SPOILT - nope
OBESE - nope
ALLERGY RIDDEN - nope
SMUG - occasionally
CHAI LATTE AND M&S PANINI FOR LUNCH - I have a cottage cheese sandwich waiting in the fridge. Made it myself though, even the bread.
TOTALLY DETACHED FROM HUMANITY - more embarassed by humanity
BITCHY - oh yes!
SCHEMING - nope
CLASS OBSESSED - wait, haven't we had this one?
MATERIAL OBSESSED - nope
DO YOU SEE LOVE AND HUMAN WARMTH? - yes
EYES AND MOUTH SCREWED UP, FALSE LOOKING CONTRIVED EXPRESSIONS - only if I squinch my face up but it gets a bit tiring after a while.

So, sadly I must conclude I'm a lousy Mumsnetter. I will hand in my resignation immediately.

I wonder if this is my ex?

He says that MNetters are evil witches who sit around wearing dressing gowns on the PC all day when they could be playing with their kids. Apparently we are also all lesbians who never wear any make up .