LOOK!! READ !!!!!!

[Hbouquet]

THIS MUMSNET WEBSITE IS THE BIGGEST GATHERING OF VULGAR, CLASS OBSESSED, SELFISH, INSECURE, VILE EXCUSES FOR PEOPLE, I PITY YOUR CHILDREN.

LISTEN TO YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT CHILD ALLOWANCE, £44,000 IS STILL WAY TOO HIGH!!, HAVE YOU NOT SPARED A THOUGHT FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY IN REAL POVERTY?, WHO REALLY NEED STATE HELP....NO, YOU JUST DRIVE PAST IN YOUR 4X4'S WITH YOUR SPOILT, OBESE, ALLERGY RIDDEN SMUG KIDS ON THE WAY TO GET YOUR CHAI LATTE AND M&S PANINI FOR LUNCH, IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THE BLINKERED IGNORANCE AND SELFISHNESS OF MODERN DAY WOMEN IN ENGLAND, LIVING YOUR ENCLAVE LIKE LIFESTYLE, TOTALLY DETACHED FROM HUMANITY, INSECURE 'IM ALRIGHT JACK' MENTALITY, BITCHY, SCHEMING, CLASS OBSESSED, MATERIAL OBSESSED, YOU REALLY MAKE ME SICK TO THE CORE, THE LOT OF YOU.

JUST LOOK AT THE FACES OF THE PEOPLE WHO RUN THIS WEBSITE, LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR, DO YOU SEE LOVE AND HUMAN WARMTH?......NO, YOU SEE CONTORTED, COLD, MEAN, MISERLY FACES, EYES AND MOUTH SCREWED UP, FALSE LOOKING CONTRIVED EXPRESSIONS, A LOOK WHICH SHOWS THESE PEOPLE FOR WHO THEY REALLY ARE, SELF LOATHING, UNHAPPY, INSECURE WORST OF THE WORST, LIFES REAL LOOSERS.

DON'T WORRY, OP! I AM ANGRY! LOOK!!!! I AM SHOUTING!!!!!!! AND ADDING LOTS OF EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!
SHOUTY SHOUTY SHOUTY! GRRRRRR!

Now please come back and entertain us some more. Everyone will promise to be suitably angry.

Oh yes - please come back - we will be absolutely sincere - whether we mean it or not!!

Valpollicella.

I'm confused, if I get a 4x4 can I have my CB back? I missed that bit of the announcement! I promise to shout while I'm driving it if that helps.

I so wish I earned 44K a year and drove a 4x4 and looked like the girls that run MN, but damn me!!!

LOOK, WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHETHER THESE 4X4S WILL COME EQUIPPED WITH CUP-HOLDERS FOR OUR CHAI LATTES!!!

annec55 you are really taking up a notch, I love the GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Don't mess with me that'snotmymonkey - I may have to GRRRRR at you in bold!

Beertricks - is there a particular significance to the small 'l' in MATERIALly?
Is that bit whispered?

Do you reckon this is MNHQ trying to give us all a good larf after all the troll nonsense over the weekend? I mean the OP has to be a joke surely........

Beertricks - without wishing to be picky, don't you think there should be a hyphen in allergy-ridden, and the M&S panini should really be a panino because there is only one of it (at least by my reading of the OP)?

I cannot WAIT for my toddler to turn into a fat, allergy ridden, smug, 4x4 child passenger.

LIVING THE DREAM, that's me!

Now, if you could just sub me the £30k I need for my 4x4.

Depends if she's picking up panini for the help, no?

OP oh cooeee OP PLEASE COME BACK my pelvic floor hasn't had as good a workout in ages. I am loving the pedants nitpicking it's just made me snort my lemsip all over the computer

Thread of the century.

This one will never be topped.

Lolololololol........love it.

OMG! SO MANY PAGES TO READ, SO LITTLE TIME....

MORLOTH MANY THANKS FOR THE NESPRESSO REVIEW.

ARE THERE ANY SIMILARLY FUNCTIONING WINE DISPENSING MACHINES?

IT WOULD NEED TO BOAST A 6-BOTTLE CAPACITY WITH FAST FLOW 'MOUTH TO TAP' FACILITY (OR ELSE I COULD MAINLINE IT I SUPPOSE)

IT'S OK BEERTRICKS - I KNOW YOU WERE ONLY JOKING!!

OOOH - YOU ARE ALL SOOO RIGHT ABOUT THIS SHOUTING - IT IS LIKE SOOOO LIBERATING!!!

Btw - I have to wonder whether I fit into the OP's catagories - we don't have a 4x4 and none of the dses have any allergies (except a severe allergy to tidying their rooms), but we do have a volvo estate and a labrador - which is jolly posh, dontcha know.

YANBU

I noticed that I was simply scanning the words for the spelling mistakes (thanks for not disappointing) rather than giving a shit

proudnglad - perhaps a hat with a bottle holder and a curly straw to carry the wine straight into the mouth....