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Original poster

let's celebrate one child families

54 replies

Siegrun45 · 23/02/2018 18:57

an Albatros has one egg. It takes both parents 2 years to raise the fledgling. An elephant has one calf after a gestation period of 12 month. It takes the parents 4 years to raise it.
In the past there were many reasons why people had more than one child. Today the world is overpopulated. There are many reasons why one child families are successful.

OP posts:
Middleoftheroad · 09/04/2018 09:54

Hmm this human being released two eggs and had twins.

In the present there are also many reasons why people have more than one child.

SundayGirls · 09/04/2018 09:56

Actually, don’t elephants live in societal and family herds and mourn when a member dies?

LibbyBrown · 09/04/2018 16:29

China caused huge problems by imposing the one child policy when all they needed to do was limit families to two children and to have them later - thus spreading out the gap between generations.

Girls are better served by having brothers - girls who have male siblings are less likely to suffer rape because they intuitively understand masculine non-verbal signals better. Many of these girls who were gang raped in Rotherham, Rochdale, Telford, Newcastle etc. were from one child, single parent families.

Original poster
Siegrun45 · 09/04/2018 21:08

sorry, I forgot - we're not animals. How could I possibly compare us to them?

It seems the most important difference between us and them is choice. But do we really have choices when we're controlled by our emotions? It looks like this question is miles away from the question of 1 or more children. However, this threat has told me that choice is the most important aspect of deciding...

OP posts:
LibbyBrown · 10/04/2018 08:31

'it's distressing for me how much hate appeared.'

People disagreeing with your opinion is not hate and that word should not be used to silence those who have a different view.

Original poster
Siegrun45 · 10/04/2018 18:20

apparently we can choose what we want to do AND we're so special & don't have much in common with other mammals.
However, some scientist has discovered that even one-cell animals have choices!
I seem to have done everything wrong that I could. To redress this a wee bit, let me tell yous why I enjoyed having one baby:

Originally I wanted to adopt since 43 years ago there were lots of kids raised in children's homes which was sad. Fortunately this has changed & most unwanted kids are now in foster or adoptive homes. But my man didn't like the idea.
From the time our kid was born, she always had other kids as company, at first it was neighbours' older children who liked looking after babies and the hospital got pregnant women together and when our babies were born we stayed in touch and watched them play together. I can't understand how in our overpopulated world anyone can be lonely. Until she was school age she always had other kids to play with which she & they liked.
We also had a circle of ~ 30 families who baby sat for each other. So we could go out without extra cost.
When it came to school I had another problem: In Germany children go to school between 6 & 7 years & only for 1 or 2 hours in the morning for the first 3 years. I found it tough that she should go to school aged 5 & all day long. Fortunately you're allowed to educate your own at home which is what I did. After a few months I discovered that the other kids weren't allowed to play with her anymore. The parents told them that she had some disease to explain why she didn't go to school. So I sent her to school 3 weeks before the end of the school year - afterwards she was allowed to play with them again :)
She enjoyed the 3 weeks because it was novel, but it was a struggle to get her to go after the holiday. It's not as if she was learning anything in school academically. So we let her be at home again.
When she was 1/2 way through P6 we tried her again & this time she liked it & never looked back. She made friends easily & was popular as far as I could see.
Girls get raped because they don't know how to interpret boys advances? Reminds me to one of her friends who was particularly timid - her mum complained to me about that & she had problems at school. I gave her some lessons in assertiveness (not bullying!) & she was ok after that. If anyone has a timid boy/girl get them assertiveness training & you should do it too. To assert yourself means standing up for yourself but not bullying.

Any questions?

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 10/04/2018 18:32

Girls get raped because they don't interpret boys advances??

Any questions?

Yes, what the fuck are you on about?

Original poster
Siegrun45 · 10/04/2018 18:34

"don't be silly"
"crack on chick"
"an axe to grind"
"you clearly can't" (think rationally)
not hate? these expressions don't explain to me what is wrong with my argument & I'm sure not silencing the authors.

OP posts:
Original poster
Siegrun45 · 10/04/2018 18:37

I was answering Libby: when I talked about assertiveness training.

OP posts:
InDubiousBattle · 10/04/2018 18:42

It's not terribly clear what your argument is though. One child families should be celebrated over two/three/however many families because of over population? Surely no child families would be the best model then?

Middleoftheroad · 10/04/2018 20:20

these expressions don't explain to me what is wrong with my argument*

What exactly is your argument? It's as clear as elephant dung.

Your single animal argument is pointless. Like cats, dogs and countless other animals I had a multiple pregnancy.

By the way, I find your comments re Rochdale very uncomfortable/inappropriate.

EduCated · 10/04/2018 20:30

If you consider ‘don’t be silly’ to be ‘hate’, your bar is exceptionally low.

If every couple only had one child, does the population not halve and dwindle?

One child families are great. So are two and three and four and five.

Is there a particular reason for your desire to assert that one child families are superior?

Original poster
Siegrun45 · 11/04/2018 19:27

"If every couple only had one child, does the population not halve and dwindle? " Well, in my life time the world population has doubled! google it & see how many have been born. For some reason, much less die at any one time! So, when your child is born, the population increases. Hopefully, one day the population decreases again peacefully, when couples decide that one kid is enough.

However, the reason I put elephants and albatross at the top is because I believe that we the parents and the child are better off if we raise only one because of the quaint way our society works.

If someone has multiple birth then this couple ought to get a lot of help, so that each child can have time with the parents by themselves.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 11/04/2018 19:56

Do you mean to imply that parents of more than one child are all in need of extra help? That’s very rude.

SoupDragon · 11/04/2018 19:57

I believe that we the parents and the child are better off if we raise only one because of the quaint way our society works.

What quaint way would that be?

Original poster
Siegrun45 · 13/04/2018 13:10

It's rude to imply we need help with our children? But does not every couple get help with there 1st, 2nd, 3rd? Other family members help, friends & neighbours do to. It's only natural that you should get more help when you've got a bigger brood.

When 2 people dote on one child it will benefit its education/dexterity tremendously. I hope one day some researcher is going to compare the intelligence/dexterity of single child families to others. However there are 2 considerations: One is the actual dexterity. The other one is to compare families of the same sort of education, e g academicians or cleaners. I expect that the academicians raising one child will be more rounded than the ones having more than one, same for cleaners.

OP posts:
Jozxyqk · 13/04/2018 13:20

I thought this was going to be a lovely supportive thread about the reasons why people choose to have only one child, or sometimes don't choose it, but that's what happens anyway.

ShinyShooney · 13/04/2018 13:23

As an only child, I plan to definitely have more than one through any means possible!

Being an only child sucks and I feel sorry for the child when I hear parents say they are stopping at one by choice. Why bother having any?

tomhazard · 13/04/2018 13:34

Okay. Then after than we can celebrate families with none, two, three, four, five and more children.

SoupDragon · 13/04/2018 13:46

It's rude to imply we need help with our children?

Yes, when the reason you are suggesting it is because parents of single children are superior.

When 2 people dote on one child it will benefit its education/dexterity tremendously.

Equally, one might suggest that they’ll turn into spoilt little brats with all that one to one attention. Which would fit nicely as the equivalent of what you are suggesting happens to any family with more than one child. It’s nonsense, obviously. What matters is the quality of parenting whatever the number of children. If you’re a crap parent of two you’d probably be a crap parent of one and vice versa.

None of what you are saying makes sense.

Original poster
Siegrun45 · 13/04/2018 17:46

how old are you & why don't you like being a single child? Were there no kids in your neighbourhood to play with?

It would be best to have none to make space for the people who're here already. But we like to pass our genes on to someone, don't we ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Siegrun45 · 17/04/2018 21:35

pity that Shiny didn't tell me why she hated being a single girl! I'm in my 70s & I've met lots of single girls/boys. They even copied their parents & had single children themselves!
Why have a child? It's interesting to watch a child develop. You can do it better if you don't constantly have to keep an eye on Nr. 2, 3, 4 as well. Single children are more rounded - they don't have to compete for attention & they like their own company, which is important if you want to grow up to be independent.

I have 2 friends my age who didn't have any children therefore helping to reduce the world population! One was a teacher & likes children but she never wanted any of her own, neither did her husband. My other friend can't be bothered with children & has a rich life without kids.

OP posts:
Hidethebump · 17/04/2018 21:39

Wow this is one big chip you are carrying around on your shoulder.
‘After the second child the problems come along’ .......... which piece of research says this?
Instead of making yourself feel good about what’s apparently wrong with other people’s families, hows about you pee off and get a life?

Slyvestersmouth · 17/04/2018 21:49

I thought this thread was actually going to be celebrating one child families but it seems to be more about criticising those with more than one child.

GrumpyBagFace · 17/04/2018 22:19

GF!

No one replies from Friday so they rehash their own thread today!

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