D'y ever wonder how life got like this?

[FrumpyGrumpy]

New to MN but like what I read so far. Struggling to get by day by day at the minute and feeling isolated but not enough to make the effort to join in the 'groups' the whole world seems to think are just what I need!!!!

Have daughter of 4 and girl and boy twins of eight months. Not had time since they were born when all three kids have been well, am I just cursed? Throw in a house move that took 6 months, a partner that works away most of the week and a mother-in-law I can wait another lifetime to deal with and I've ended up the sort of person I used to look at and wonder how life got like that.

Anyone give me hope that when the babes are eighteen months I'll feel better?!! If not, anyone tell me that alternate nights of gin then chocolate is an ok passage through?

Yeah me! I've taken to keeping them awake in the day, despite having to pay for it between 5 and 7. If they sleep after noon then they don't sleep till 10. I can't hack that anymore, would rather have the screams and tantrums at 5.

Nice to see you btw.

FG.... I told you COME HERE WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelly..... parents, can't live with them, can't kill them! What's a girl to do?

HM..... hiya. Hope all well with the bump.

Hi Twoif!

My DD is 5.5 and when she had a spell of not going to sleep until later I explained she'd have to go to bed before the DTs and I actually did this a couple of times. She was not amused and it helped a lot.

If thats not an option could you try explaining that they have to got to bed earlier (15 mins or half an hour). They're maybe a little too young to fully understand the concept of time and 'earlier' so you could allow them to watch Cbeebies until it finishes at 7pm. Then the next night, if they didn't settle well the previous night, then they can only watch until say 6.45 and have to miss the end.

Any help?

My dts haven't had naps during the day since they were about 2 years old! Dts1, like I said is particularly annoyed at the thought that when asleep he can't play with his toys (removed from room now) or might miss something.

I will try to put them to bed a little earlier. Wish we had a bigger house then I could put them in separate rooms!

twoif, my Dt boys are 5 since last week and I too worry myself sick that DT2 isnt getting enough sleep especially as his attention span is not great at the best of times. Both mine go down to sleep ok, however DT2 has a habit sometimes of waking a half an hour later full of beans and its a couple of hours before he goes off again. However the biggest issue is that he wakes up early. on average He gets about 10 hours sleep a night , sometimes 11 and sometimes 9. When he wakes he always remembers straight away what toy he was playing with before he went to sleep so i am planning to get rid of toys from the bedroom. School finishes in a week so i am planning to tackle it then. i havent the energy fo battles when we all have to get up for work and school in the morning. No help I'm afraid but you are not alone. i take it your two are still in nursery school if they are 4.5?

Thank god maggie, I thought I had killed the longest thread on here!

My two start school in August. After a huge debate with myself about whether or not they would be ready and if to delay them a year but in that respect they are eager to learn and having them in separate classes is going to give them both a boost. I just get times where I feel like I have failed them, you know?

And this sleep thing, short of buying a huge mallet and clunking them on the head each night (JOKE!) At least in winter it is easier, and we have a black out blind but they still seem to know it is light outside. Wish I had somewhere else to store the toys. They would probably find something else to amuse themselves with. Tonight they have decided to swap beds so we'll see if that maybe helps.

Hi there,

I've just stumbled across this thread and had great fun reading through it as I realise that my life is typical for a mum with twins and not as messed up as it sometimes seems!! I've no real reason for writing except to day hi and introduce myself.

I have twin girls who are a few days off being 9 months. They are my first and it was a complete shock as there are no twins on the family. Now I am so glad that we had twins as they are beginning to be company for each other and it also means that I don't have to worry about being pregnant with a toddler if I don't fancy it.

Even though the first few months were a real rollercoaster and such hard work I was beginning to feel human again and to be getting some normally back. However they have both started crawling a few weeks ago and life seems to be manic as ever! It's so intense. They ahve always been good sleepers at night and tenmd to have a good 2 hour sleep in the morning but from 11.30ish it's just so full on during the day!!

I used to be able to take them out in the buggie and they'd love it - looking around or would doze off but now one of them just hates the buggie and after 5-10 mins she goes mental, especially if I'm still for a minute.

Anyone got any tips for keeping me sane?

Sorry for this turning into a bit of a rant!

Thanks and look forward to chatting to you all!

Hello everybody!

My solution to the toys thing was to buy loads of those cheapish plastic containers from DIY stores, and stack them on top of each other. Then they can't get in the boxes. The dts jsut play with the curtains or pound bottles on the cot sides instead though! I tend to leave them to it and ignore them unless they are really screaming. After 6pm I am off duty! But a few days ago I realised that one of them has bounced their cot through a floorboard.
I went through it with the older two as well, and just had to be really firm about keep returning them to bed (both were in beds early on) until they got the message. I think it took about a fortnight.

Welcome, rooster. Don't even bother trying to stay sane. I've always found the stage you are at is the hardest. My only method of coping was to be out of doors as much as possible. Now it's summer we practically live out in the garden. We've equipped it with load of toys and bouncy castle, paddlign pools, slides etc. and just let them run riot. I also had buggy problems, mine decided they hated my tandem, so I replaced it with a side-by-side and they are far happier now. Give it a few more months and they will start understanding more and maybe even listening and it gets easier again.

We had a really good weekend. We went to mandir (temple) on fri, and then all went to Calais for the day sat. The boys are gettign very comical, and loved going ont he ferry. They make really dramatic (rather camp!)exclamationary noises at everything and are really trying to interact more, playing games, chasing pigeons, etc. We stocked up on booze (essential )and cute french clothes for the kids, then took them all to the beach. It was the dts first real experience on playing on the beach and they loved it.

Thought that I would post here, like Rooster to introduce myself to the multiple birth part of MN! I have posted elsewhere but reading this thread I feel like I've come home!!

Anyway, I have DT sons, who have just turned 20 months. Their favourite pastime at the moment is pulling the table cloth off the table, we are so far down three bowls, one cup and two plates!

I have also have my ds1 who is three. He was only 20 months when they were born so is very close to them! I did post a thread about how I feel I have triplets, because he comes right down to their level, I suppose it's a case of if you can't beat them join them.(wink) Didn't get a response though, boo hoo, so hope someone is going to talk to me this time

Wow 'Overun' - well done you! I can't imagine what it's like to have twins plus other children for all of you on the thread. My take my hat off to you.

Thanks for the advice Kelly1978. It's good to hear that this is age isn't meant to be plain sailing. I always feel a bit guilty as time goes on for feeling snowed under as everyone goes on about how hard newborns are but to be honest I'm finding it harder as they get older.

If all they wanted was sleep and food it would be a doddle!

lol, overun, welcome to the thread! I buy cheap ikea white crockery jsut for the kids. Its soemthing like 39p a piece, so doesn't matter if it breaks.

Must have been hard work dealing with a 20 mnth old and dts, you were brave!

Where are all the new posters located?

Hi thanks for that! Good idea about the crokery too. I guess they will get tired of it eventually.
I think that 9 months is quite hard if there are both crawling, because you have them mobile but then they tend to feel a bit frustrated by what they can't do. Mind you, every stage I think, this is the hardest but the most fun yet!

Welcome Overrun - like the name! I don't have any advice for you - my DTs are only 7 months.

Anyway, I've gone back to work for a break.

Amazing just how easy work is now compared to looking after two small bears. Miss them tho...............

Spoke to an amazing twin mum last week - she refused to be bullied by the hospital and went to over 41 weeks and delivered DT1 at 8lb12oz and DT2 at 8lb2oz. And she pushed them out - no c-section. Now that is what I call an acheivement!

Felt a bit of a wimp when I told her I had a c-section and a general anesthetic (out of choice, not necessity) and just for a couple of 6/7 pound tiddlers..............

rooster, when they are newborn at least they sleep a lot of the time. I found it harder when they start getting mobile, are into everything, don't undertand/ignore 'no', and are just so relentless. Mine crawled early too, and it was such hard work!

Hi goldenoldie, nice to 'see' you again, glad you got going back to work sorted. I sometimes wish I could get away a few times a week, feel very of DP waltzing out the door every morning! I know I'd miss them though, I'm terrible, I even miss them when they go to Dp's aunts for the weekend.

glad to hear someone else say that their twins just ignore/giggle at them when you you try and say NO

I think they call it twinpower, they work in a unit and back each other up. It's so frustrating when you are pulling one back from the dangerous object, only for the other one to nip through your legs!

Golenoldie, I had a c section under GA with my ds1, just spinal block with dt's, good medical reasons both times, but it's easy to feel inadequate isn't it?
You are the first person I have come across to have had a GA, they are really uncommon aren't they, it must have been a real emergency

Wow 41 weeks - I was begging them at 37 weeks to get them out!! I think its so easy to feel inadequate about labour whatever ends up happening. God knows why we do it to ourselves! I ended up having my two naturally but had an epidural very very early on and still now I think ohhh I could have gone for a bit longer. God knows why???!!

How have you found going back to work Goldenoldie? Just last week I decided that I would go back for 2.5 days and to tell you the truth. Now I've finally made the decision I can't wait as I really need the break. Then I feel bad that I'm being a selfish Mum and that I'm going to miss their first step etc but it's so hardcore being at home at day with them isn't it!

How old are your two ? Did they settle into it all okay? How have you found getting the balance right and not being guilt ridden as soon as you see them? Questions, questions...

Hi Rooster1 and Overrun, lovely to have you both on here! Just as in our lives, there's always room for one or two more .

I went to 41 weeks because my crap ass consultant kept saying "oh, they'll just slip out around 35 weeks (charming!!!!). I had a natural and extremely traumatic fast birth with my DD and my crap ass consultant said that since I'd had no pain relief first time round I shouldn't have it for the DT's!!!!!!!!!!! It was not by choice first time round just that I'd had no time. Luckily my lovely midwives sorted me out with an epidural and it made the experience a lovely one and one to close the door on all the bad stuff I'd experienced first time round.

My DD is now 5.5 and my DTs will be 2 in a month.

TwoIf, I think feeling like you've failed your kids is somewhat prerequisite with the mum title. I feel like that constantly. I fight it by reminding myself of what good things I do do but it still claws at me constantly. I try to remind myself when they are high as kites (just before bed funnily enough) or giggling with each other like crazy that they are happy and that that must be down to my influence somewhere along the line.......

Girls, for the second week in a row I had a hot date!!!! This time it was Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black, Saturday night at 9pm ish. I was wishing DP away this week (he was away last weekend and I was pissed off about it!) but he watched it with me, in bed, in the dark, while I fainted after Brad and cried like buggery at the end. Total heaven. Its taken me two years but I've now seen two films in totality!!!! Well, except the interruption of DD for a wee both time. I feel I've turned a corner. Makes up for freaking out about the holiday packing.......

By the way, for anyone thats not sure, I ramble on and on and on and on..... when my fingers get started, they just dance on the keyboard.

AND ANOTHER THING

I ordered my Dirty Dancing soundtrack cd (to replace my vinyl) from Amazon and it will be here ANY DAY NOW. There is hope, the DTs won't grind me down, I WILLL strap them in the car and drive all over town and make them listen to the whole thing, I WILL SURVIVE .

Nite all, peaceful sleepsx.

Welcome Rooster and overrun. As I type DT1 has come downstairs YET AGAIN! And I feel the urge to call the NSPCC! Well a bit of advance warning is always good.

I have just come back from a salsa weekend. I danced and danced and danced. I did some truly filthy dancing one night. Sigh...............

And now I've come home to nits and my terrible pair. Actually, DT2 is asleep (oh please oh please oh please God)............. Dammit!!!!!!!!! Spoke too soon. Have just heard his dulcet tones.

Just popped in for a quick hi. Had such plans to study tonight, but can't keep my eyes open.

FG.............. I'm on the next train! lol

Overrun - the DTs were my second general anesthetic. The first, with DS1 was an emergency, but with the DT it was pure choice on my part - bad experience in the past - just did not want to be awake when they arrived. I was bloody terrified!

Rooster - love going to work - I need the rest! my DTs are 7 months, not at the clingy stage yet, and have been fine with nanny. They certainly get more attention from her than from me as I'm always trying to do three things at once when I am at home with them.

Don't feel guilt-ridden at all. I enjoy my work, always have, and I need to do other things (for my own sanity), as well as being a mum.

The only thing I feel emotional about is the horrendous cost of childcare. Just think of how many 5 star holidays/new cars/designer clothes I could have bought instead........................Now a treat is a gin and tonic, a hot bath and an early night - for sleep, not hanky-panky.

Like your description of looking after the DTs as 'hardcore' - you are soooooooooooooo right.

I wonder if the plastic box thing would work as they are 4 1/2 and capable of breaking into Swiss banks if they so wished.

Then again out of sight etc. etc. Shall give it a try, was wanting to replace what we had (open topped boxes, oh silly me) anyway.

Rooster, sane? What is that then? I think I remember but it was so long ago. Enjoy just now, that whole thing about newborns being the hard work might be true for single babies but just wait until your two learn to run. They don't walk you see, they learn to run, and in different directions. I used reigns and if I saw anyone looking disdainfully at me for using them I would give a quick flick of the straps and go "mush!"

I wish I could go back to the cuddly baby stage. Back to when they slept all night and had a nap in the afternoon. Ah bliss!

I have always lurked on this thread, just didn't want to interrupt really until now where I am at the hair pulling out stage (me not them!) They do gang up, oh Lordie but they do but I am glad they are close to each other.

How many weeks 'til they start school again?

Twoifbysea, LOL! I plan on using reins too when the times comes and will have to remember the mush line if anyone dares to comment

not really sure what is wrong with reins. I have them already. It's too much risk with two.

The boxes work if they are nice big heavy ones stacked on top of each other - then they can't get in them. Out of sight helps too tho.

I am exhausted - My two went on a trip to a farm today with ds12's school. Was a great day, but they were such a handful. Shay fell in love with a tractor and was biting chunks out of anyone who dared come near it. Rav was petrified of the animals and much mroe interested in going on the swings than seeing them. He actually seems happier nwo we hme, winding dd up by keep turning cbeebies off.

Any tips for stopping a 15 mnth old biting? With the others, biting back worked, but not for shay!

Argh reins! I have bought some, but every time I try and use them it goes pear shaped. As twins tend to run off in different directions I tend to almost be pulled off my feet, and when they come back, they quickly wind round me until I feel like a maypole. Mind you I didn't find reins that easy with one. Any tips gratefully received.
As to the plastic box debate, lids are better, but mine still find a way in. In fact every thing we do the find a way in or around. They are driving me abasalutely potty at the moment, and really finding it hard.
Kelly1978 - can really sympathise about biting, as one of mine went through a real biting phase, but seems to have grown out of it for the most part, except that the other one has now started and being older and with more teeth really takes a chunk out of his twin. The one who used to bite now pinches, just as painfull. Thats one thing that is really driving me mad, the constant fighthing and I know it's what twin boys do to some extent but I just can't leave them for more than 10 seconds at the moment. the oldest ds, was and is a very gentle boy (he has a temper but never really got physcially aggressive), so am unprepared for it really. So sorry no suggestions!! Have never done the biting them thing, just couldn't do it, but have heard some people say it really works

Twoif, you lurker you!!! I hope we didn't intimidate you so you felt you couldn't join in, come away in as often as you please and throw any old crap into the port .

Kelly, biting.....mmmmn a hard one. My only suggestion is a 'punishment' every time. When my DTs are causing merry hell with each other (so far no nasty bites but its always a possibility when passions run high), my punishment is to put them in the high chair, strapped in with no toys. Then I happily go about the room ignoring the screaming and tending to the hurt one. Its been working well. DT2 has been saying sorry and dishing out kisses to DT1 after (I believe you have to have a happy ending so they know they are still loved even if they were being little shits ). He now just has to hear me saying "will you have to sit in your highchair then" and the behaviour improves. I never had to discipline my DD like this but then she had no one to fight with. As with it all, repeat, repeat, repeat and let the goalposts remain the same. Its all you can do.

I have the cold and a very sore throat - AGAIN. No Dirty Dancing CD yet, no extra suitcase yet and I have to try to fit in birthday shopping for the DTs before we leave a week on Sat. Its their birthday as we come back.

Mars, do tell about the filthy dancing . I couldn't even dream of such a thing. Were there attractive peacocks around? Spill, spill........

My DTs are silent. Trouble must be happening, I'm off.

hmm, the highchair thing does sound like a good suggestion. Can't see him kissing rav better tho! Will prob be swearing at him.

Overun, that sounds so like us! ds has suspected asd, and is extremely docile. The twins are typical boys very rough and tumble, destructive, and they fight so much! They are happy together atm tho, workign together on a grand banana heist .

You have to put the lids on the boxes then pile them on top of each other, to about 5ft high or so. Then they can't get in them! We had four really big ones, 2.5 x 1.5 foot, and stacked them up. They had to ask for them out when they wanted something and then tidy it up before they could have a different box out. Now they older (ds1 and dd) the boxes are side by side under the bed so they can help themselves. The boys toys go in big boxes in the cupboard under the stairs where they can't get to it once the door is shut.