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Multiple births

When do you start showing with twins? What is life with twins like? Join the conversation on our Multiple Births forum.

D'y ever wonder how life got like this?

929 replies

FrumpyGrumpy · 12/04/2005 23:06

New to MN but like what I read so far. Struggling to get by day by day at the minute and feeling isolated but not enough to make the effort to join in the 'groups' the whole world seems to think are just what I need!!!!

Have daughter of 4 and girl and boy twins of eight months. Not had time since they were born when all three kids have been well, am I just cursed? Throw in a house move that took 6 months, a partner that works away most of the week and a mother-in-law I can wait another lifetime to deal with and I've ended up the sort of person I used to look at and wonder how life got like that.

Anyone give me hope that when the babes are eighteen months I'll feel better?!! If not, anyone tell me that alternate nights of gin then chocolate is an ok passage through?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
frumpygrumpy · 05/07/2006 19:16

Rant alert......have a wee.....

Oh bum. It had to be one of the worst shopping trips I've been on. It involved taking a wrong turn (even though the road is as known to me as my own spots) which caused us a 25 minute round trek to correct it. Then mothercare decided they didn't need shopping trolleys with two seats anymore and when I complained they provided me with the two-baby option. I bundled the DTs minus socks and shoes into a trolley with the baby bits on so when I was pushing i couldn't see them and they kept whacking their heads off it and they stood and jumped and tried to kill each other and DD complained she wasn't getting a turn. Mothercare had nothing I needed and I left after the DTs took the mother of all tantrums and every eye in the place seemed to bore into me. Then I got soaked getting us all bundled back in to the car while I watched a new mum carrying her sweet one into her waiting car that hubby had carefully driven up to the door and two members of staff packed it with all the shiny clean sticky free goodies that they had just bought. I'm not envious I just wondered what was going through their heads when they saw me .

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harrogatemum · 06/07/2006 13:53

hellooooooo all, had my scan on Tuesday and all is well. I found out the flavour but DH wont let me breathe a word to ANYONE and too many of my friends go on here and would hunt me down and find out! Suffice to say I am v.happy and excited, roll on November.

DH did say to me on the phone this morning that he thinks 4 kids is a nice round number, havent even got no. 3 born yet! Any advice all those of you with large tribes!??

Overrun · 06/07/2006 14:05

Hello Harrowgate Mum, just been speaking to you on another thread, congrats on the scan, when are you due.

How old are your twins, btw, you did say when they were born on other thread but I can't remember more than it was in Nov.
I have three, ds1 who is three and dt's who are 20 months, all boys btw

MarsLady · 06/07/2006 23:11

Hiya HM. Great to see you. Remember that I have 5 so all I can say is GO FOR IT!!!!! Love a large tribe lol.

FG.... daren't describe him (tall, dark, greek god looking) in case I wonder why I said no lol!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Overrun

Where are you Kelly? I'm off to summer school on Saturday. So no MNing for me. (still got 2 essays to complete before tomorrow )

harrogatemum · 07/07/2006 10:06

Hi Overrun and MArs! OR - mine are nearly 20 months now and new baby is due about a week after their 2nd birthday.....HELP!!

Main concern is how to move them all about when not in the car. Double buggy plus buggy board for one of the twins, or double buggy plus sling for the baby?

OR just never go out alone!!?????????

Overrun · 07/07/2006 12:23

HM, personally I found that my ds1 (who was 20 months when they were born) only really started to using the buggyboard properly when he was about two and a half. Some of this was due to short legs, but he did tend to just get off, which caused some problems. I used to do it with him on board but attatched to a wristband.
I Would go with the baby in a sling approach myself, cos you could probably do that until about 6 months, so might work out.
You can buy things that will attach a single buggie to anther one. So that might help, although width wise you can't get in shops. Or I know that you can buy a seat that fixes on the front of some buggies (there are loads of sites, as I am sure you know)
good luck

frumpygrumpy · 07/07/2006 12:55

I'm not here I'm packing hee hee....and I'm not eating raspberries either......or contemplating a mug of tea and a caramel Freddo or four.....

Kelly just can't get a word in edgeways lol

Mars, I'm not even thinking about your description. Instead I'll just gaze into the distance for a bit and try to think of cold things.

I've just had a leg wax and DD came too. I thought it might traumatise her but she played snakes and ladders beautifully and made me very proud. Then chatted all the way home about how she doesn't want any hairs to grow on her legs, EVER . I told her she'd also get a hairy bottom and she laughed for ages and said oooooh that'll tickle. I hope we can always chat like that.

HM lovely news about your scan, are you feeling well? I did double buggy and sling and for me it worked great. I did feel a bit like a pack horse but it was great exercise and to get fresh air and a quiet head in those early days was a big help. I'm very excited for you honey! Its lovely to start thinking about a new wee bundle........but I'm not .

Well, I better get my hair free legs moving. If I don't get a chance to dance on the keyboard before I leave then take care of you and yours!

eh, thanks Elton for the inspiration

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Kelly1978 · 07/07/2006 16:56

Everyone is abandoning me!! don't gooooo!

Have a good time both of you, and think of me - stuck here referreeing the boys wrestling matches. I've hardly been on mn because I've had so much work to do. I'm doing the countdown until MY holiday now and need to get on top of everything. WE're all fine though, frazzled and happy as ever.

harrogatemum · 07/07/2006 17:24

I'm still here Kelly! I cant be Mars and Frumpy but I can try and provide a bit of conversation for you!

Kelly1978 · 07/07/2006 18:05

Hi hm! Glad to hear everything going well for u. and you can tell meee, I won't breath a word to anyone.

dd and ds were eactly 2 years apart. I didn't have to use a double for long, prob about 6 months and then I got away with a buggyboard, but it depends how good the dts are! ds wasn't walkign well until about 6 months ago, so I couldn't do long walks at all once the dts were born. I think I might be tempted to invest in a triple for a bit, as they have good resell value. I've seen some two behind and then one in front that look a reasonable size and maeuverable. Also, I hate slings, found them heavy and uncomfortable and after carrying them for nine months I prefered transporting them on wheels! I also think, that with dts its prob best to have them in a buggy for as long as poss as they are a handful to watch. With dd at least I only had one to keep an eye on.

frumpygrumpy · 07/07/2006 20:40

DP is currently at the police station . He had a very minor bump with a pedestrian who ran out in front of his car. Luckily he was not going fast and was in fact slowing for traffic lights. No one hurt, just his car a bit bumped. The guy said he was fine and ran off but DP went to the police so he can prove he is totally sober and not leaving the scene. I'm up to my ears in mess and things to do and its taken the shine off the night a bit. Never mind, no one hurt. I feel a little glass of something coming on - that way everything will look fantastic and I'll just bung any old thing into the cases . Poor DP. Right, I really am off to kick my a into touch.

See you soon Kelly I'LL MISS YOOOOOOOOUUUUUU

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Kelly1978 · 07/07/2006 21:21

poor dp! Hope it is all sorted before you go away. I'm not really here though!....

MarsLady · 07/07/2006 23:55

Just popped in to say.... see you next week!

I go off to summer school tomorrow... but first I've been called in by my twin mum. She has a section booked for first thing tomorrow. Pre-eclampsia. So a quick birth and then off for some Shakespeare. Kisses to you all.

(HM you are not a substitute... you're one of us babe!)

harrogatemum · 08/07/2006 13:00

Frumpy have an ace time!

Thanks Kelly for the advice re buggies, think i will forget about it for now and sort it closer to the time. Re the flavour, I have two boys and am very excited about the next one, that should give you a clue!!

#how was the birth Mars...?

MarsLady · 12/07/2006 11:46

Quick update!

The birth was supposed to take place at 8am on Saturday, but in fact didn't happen until 9pm on Saturday. That meant that I was late for summer school (where I am typing this instead of researching my project .... oh the shame ). But they didn't seem to mind and I am having a lovely time. Oh she had girls!

Met some lovely people. Oh and FG.... a couple of tall dark handsome ones... what can I tell you?

Anyhoo.... ta ta for now.

Back to the "grind!!!!" ROFLMAO

MarsLady · 12/07/2006 11:46

HM.... a girl???????

harrogatemum · 12/07/2006 12:07

Hi Mars - erm.....maybe????????

devondoris · 13/07/2006 21:43

Hello everyone - you sound like a lovely bunch of people!

I found out 6 weeks ago that I'm going to have twin boys in October ... and I'm quite scared about it. Got lots of info from the Multiple Birth Foundation, but I'm needing a bit of talk from people who know what it's like. Can you help, please?

I've got a fab daughter who will be 4 in October (we obviously do a January conception thing!) but the twins thing is worrying me. We bought a healthfood shop 4 months ago, but DH is still working in London and will be until birth, then he has 2 weeks' paternity leave and 4 weeks' normal leave, but most of that he'll be using to run the shop... He'll be handing his 3 month notice in for his London job at the end of September, which leaves me wondering quite how I'm going to cope... Any thoughts?

I'm also interested in getting round consultant's visits - I so want a natural birth and the first thing the con said was "We strongly advise an epidural/induction". I so don't want to do that, unless there are very good reasons to do so at the time. At the moment there aren't - I've got two sacs and two placentas, I'm looking after my sugar levels and my salt levels (not so difficult with your own health food shop!), so I don't see why I should assume the worst. I've asked the midwife if I can go back to midwife led care and that seems to be OK, but I don't want to have fight my corner all the way to the delivery room! I've got a friend who wants to train to be a doula, and I'm hoping that will help - HM I think you may be able to give me some advice on that (please!)?

This is long, sorry, but thanks and (this is probably silly, but-) hope you don't mind me joining you.

devondoris · 13/07/2006 22:19

Oops, just realised that Marslady is the doula advice person not HM - sorry!

TwoIfBySea · 13/07/2006 22:36

devondoris, you will be amazed how you will manage. My dh works shifts (he recently changed jobs where I had hoped for a normal hours job change, no avail!) So I was left on my own in an unfriendly town where I knew no one and had no escape!

Sounds worse than it was, I really miss those days, I thought they were hard work but if I'd known the hard work starts when they talk and walk then I would have enjoyed them more.

I suppose, and I don't know what others on here would say, if I were to tell you anything it would be to relax and enjoy those first few months. Relax sounds like an oxymoron but I wish I had chilled out more and worried less about stupid things that didn't matter. All that mattered were those two little boys who were quite happy with a full tum, empty nappy and snuggly bed. Oh and I let them sleep in the same cot until age 8 months. Within the first few weeks they were sleeping from 10pmish - 6amish and I am sure it was to do with that. One would wake and the other would cuddle into his brother and both would sleep soundly! Bonus!

I am feeling a bit sad about those days now I can look back on them, I miss having them as babies. Now I have know-it-all 4 1/2 year old chatterboxes who are lovely, and being on really good behaviour since I let them watch Doctor Who! Roll on August and they go to school, woohoo.

Kelly1978 · 14/07/2006 08:42

Hello everyone.

Hi devondoris, welcome to mn, and congrats on the pg.
Keep coming on here and you will soon get an idea of what it is like.

My dd was also 4 when my dts were born and she was brilliant at helping out. I have four and they all much in now. My dts are now 15 months, and I have a ds who is 4 and dd is 6.

My dp went back to work after 2 weeks, and I didn?t have anyone else to help and I got through it. I coped by getting out and about as much as possible, as babies are happy when being pushed around, even if it is just to the shops! As long as you make sure that you do get some time for yourself you should be fine. In the early days it is rather relentless, a constant round of feeding and changing, but they do at least sleep a lot. If you can get any help from anywhere at all, then take it! The local mother and toddler group were fantastic for me, they cooked me a meal a day for the first two weeks when dp went back to work. Try local colleges for childcare students.

I actually find it harder now, mine have been driving me up the wall lately. They are into everything, dt1 is teething and very unhappy and I just want to scream! Ds was ill yesterday too (though seems fine now) so they are off school, which is a relief because I?ve not got three school runs to do, and I?m hoping to throw them all out in the garden later! Yesterday I went for a long walk by myself late in the evening, just to enjoy some total quiet and destress. I desperately need my hol, and I?m working how I will survive the four weeks until then!

I am shocked that the consultant said that straight off! Did you have a straightforward delivery with your dd? Mine was actually the opposite, some nasty Australian lady who had only just started a few weeks before I was booked in. On the day of my elective section they insisted that I should be induced for a natural. Mine kept movng right up to the last few weeks. They thought one baby was head down, when I was convinced they were both breach. I had to scream and sob before they allowed the section, but I was right!

Before I discovered I was expecting two I wanted a homebirth. But twins aren?t straightforward, the human body is really only designed to carry one baby at a time. So keep an open mind for now, you have a while to go yet, and a lot depends on the position of the babies. If they are both head down then fight, but personally I would save my energy for now. Twin pgs are tiring; you will need all you got! My singletons were straightforward, but with two it really is different. My legs ballooned because of water retention, my blood pressure went up, I had a lot of problems with sugar in my urine and then the pressure of the babies collapsed my lung. Prob not want you want to hear right now, but it is worth considering that you might also need help before the baby is due! I had a neighbour taking my dd to school.

My pg showed me that things can change literally at the last minute, so don?t start worrying too much. Just remember that you are entitled to the birth you want, and let them think what they want for now. I would have liked a natural birth but at the end of mine, I was so exhausted I didn?t have the energy to push mine out so there was no way I could face a vaginal delivery. I could have used a doula though, to fight my corner on the day!

Good luck with it all!

Mars, glad to hear you are ?studying? hard!

Talking of fit men, I got my car jammed in a space outside the school and couldn?t get out. It was sports days, cars parked everywhere, you know the idea. I was heading into the school with the reg of the offending blocker when I saw two gorgeous men! I batted my eyes a bit, and they came to the rescue and one of them backed my car out of me while I drooled. You should have seen them, al muscled and young and sexy!

Hope you are having a good time fg, missing you!

Hm, how are you doing?

Kelly1978 · 14/07/2006 08:43

please excuse the finger diarrheoa! (to quote fg)

Overrun · 14/07/2006 11:47

Hello every one,
my dts are sleeping right now, they are coming up to 21 months and my oldest ds was only 18 months when he gave up his afternoon nap.I am determined to hang on to their nap for as long as possible. Quelle suprise!

I am amazed by their shennigans on a daily basis. We have got the sand pit in the garden, and now it is in the house, the car, their cots...

Yesterday I thought we would eat outside in the garden, it always appeals because it saves me having to brush and mop up under the table.
I was just bringing food out, and in the meantime all three of them managed to climb up onto the garden table, and were boogieing to the radio!

It made me laugh, but sometimes I really worry that I wont' be able to protect them, they are so fast, I just know one of them at least is going to have a nasty accident at some point.

When ds1 was two, he managed to get away from me in a shop and run out into the road in seconds. Lucily he wasn't hurt, but god knows what it will be like with twins.

Kelly1978 · 14/07/2006 12:03

I plan on keeping mine in buggies until they are 6! mine are in the garden now, and I am hiding indoors. I can see most of the garden from the patio doors. Mine seem to be starting to head towards giving up that nap, but I'm trying deperately to cling onto it! So far this morning shay has eaten sudocreme (again) and thrown a beer bottle aroudn the garden I have no idea where he got it from, the recycleables are in the front garden!

devondoris · 14/07/2006 22:32

Hi again!

Thanks for the encouragement - exactly what I need to hear! Kelly - everything did go fine with dd although I did get very high blood pressure towards the end (particularly the pushing bit!). I'd wanted a home birth with her too, but the bp meant that couldn't happen. You're right about twin pg being so much more tiring. Someone came into the shop today and asked when I was due in the kind of way that sounded as though she thought it would be next week - horrified when I said 12 to 14 weeks! I realised today that I was sitting down with my feet up trying to be calm and thinking low bp thoughts when I was this big last time. hey ho!

I was thinking of keeping them in the same cot for a good few months - dd slept beautifully from very early on and I REALLY want that to happen again! Relaxing doesn't sound possible at the moment but I'll keep an open mind...

Keep the advice rolling.

Doris