D'y ever wonder how life got like this?

[FrumpyGrumpy]

New to MN but like what I read so far. Struggling to get by day by day at the minute and feeling isolated but not enough to make the effort to join in the 'groups' the whole world seems to think are just what I need!!!!

Have daughter of 4 and girl and boy twins of eight months. Not had time since they were born when all three kids have been well, am I just cursed? Throw in a house move that took 6 months, a partner that works away most of the week and a mother-in-law I can wait another lifetime to deal with and I've ended up the sort of person I used to look at and wonder how life got like that.

Anyone give me hope that when the babes are eighteen months I'll feel better?!! If not, anyone tell me that alternate nights of gin then chocolate is an ok passage through?

Hi mt, mine are 13 mnths now, and it does get easier for a while - then they get mobile and it gets harder again Seriously though, nothing is as exhausting as those early days when it is so relentless. My method of getting out was to put then to sleep in their car seat all ready if they were sleepy and I had plans to go out. Since I had school runs to do, they actually got used to that and eventually settled into a pattern of nap time when we got home. Agree with fg though, don't worry too much about disturbing them at this age.
I found it really hard making time for the older two too. I felt really guilty about it, but it is surprising how quick it passes, and now all four of mine play together nicely, so it is worth it. I found it easiest to get out as much as I could, as the boys were happy out in the fresh air and I could run around the park with the older two.

Hi, fg - I wish you had been closer too, sounds like jsut what I needed! I ended up going up the minor injuries unit as it kept swelling up and I couldn't get it to stay down. They couldn't xray it there, and so told me to either go to A&E or wait to see my GP today for a referral. But last night I squeezed it a bit to see if I could get anything out and 3 or 4 splinters of tooth come out. I'm hoping that was what was causing the swelling and it might settle down a bit now. It has been less painful today btu still swollen. I never go to the drs unless pg or at deaths door as I hate dragging all the kids over there.

DP made it up with ds though, and I finally got ds a nursery place today! I am so pelased for ds, he has a place at a very small charity funded pre-school. There are onyl a max of 20 children at any time, and there were about 5 adults there, so it is perfect for him. Ds loved it there and I think it will do him so much good. He starts properly on wed, for three mornings a week.

Oh, and so agree with fg about leavign them to cry for a bit! I had a breakthrough when I got fed up with eating my dinner while rocking a wailing baby at the same time. I decided well if he is going to scream he can do it in bed. And he went to sleep! After that I started leaving them once in a while, and it made my life so much easier, and I got my evenings back to myself again.

Kelly, fantastic news about DS nursery place! I'm delighted for him! It will of course be another drop off/pick up for you but I think it will be great for him. He can spend some time with his peers and you can observe and see if you see any changes whatsoever. Now if DPs family wanted to offer you any DT care in the same hours.....maybe that's very cheeky of me but I'm just looking ahead and thinking of some valuable Kellytime......

I'm worried about your mouth. It sounds agony. Please think about getting it checked up - sooner would be best. I know its a pain sorting out time to go and dragging all the boys etc but if it was one of the kids you'd be there in a second. You are the priority here darling and you deserve to be mended. Wish I could help a bit. You take care babe. xxx

Meggie, I meant to say. I notice you said you have willing parents. Occasionally I ask my mum to take one of the DTs in the late afternoon and they have tea with her and a bath and come home for bed. It makes a massive difference to the noise of the house and lets my eldest be big sister to one. I see much more closely what that DT is able to do/say (things I never would notice otherwise) and it lets my DD take semi-centre stage again without feeling like she's top cat. Just a thought.

Peaceful nights all x.

kellytime tomorrow!
Dp's brother is having the dts tomo, on his day off. ds is at preschool tomo morning and so I've got some time to write my tma. His family are beign great, they love spending time with the dts and so want them all the time! It's all very strange to me, as they are so different to my family and I keep feelign a bit like I'm takign advantage. They have even asked if the boys could stay o/n this weekend. I'm jsut not sure if it is fair on the boys yet, as they are still getting to know them, but will def do it sometime, then we can have a nice weekend with the older two, take them to the cinema and stuff that we can't do with the dts.

The swelling has gone down slightly more, and it is def a lot less painful now. I know I really shoul dhave gone for ABs, but I get thrush with them and so don't take them unless I really, really have to.

I managed it!!!!!!! A trip to the PO and the park as well so dd got some quality time today. I'm so proud of myself. Also managed the trip to preschool. DD2 is fast asleep in pram outside and DS is asleep on my shoulder!

Thanks for tips on how you got out and about. I put DD2 in pram before she fell asleep and it was so much easier - only had DD1 and DS to sort out - he was sick just before we left.

Its great to have supportive families. I wouldn't worry about taking advantage - if they arte offering then they want to do it. I just wish mine lived a little closer - they ar3e great but an hour away. Its not too bad because we see them lots but it also means that they can't take either DTs or DD1 for the afternoon.

DH is drving me up the wall today. He can't leave dd alone and is constantly having a go at her. She's been in tears for most of the morning. She went to grandmas for a break at the weekend but I can't keep sending her there. Its so unfair on her.

Mel

Hi All - not checked in for a while! I am ok, I think the bun is still cooking - am just trying to book a 12 week scan as we dont get them free in North YOrkshire so have to pay (boooooo)I am now nearly 10 weeks. I was posting on the due Nov 06 thread but have stayed away from it as I think it is jinxing me, every time I post I seem to have some bleeding! But still feeling soooo ropey every day that I figure everything must be ok.

DTs are still waking at night - DT1 especially seems to want to be in bed with Mummy every night and headbutts me throughout the night but I'm coping!

Kelly - hope you are doing ok now after your accident - I am so squeamish, it made me squirm when I read it you poor thing!!!

Meggiestwins - I started to get mine into a routine at 6 weeks. My sister in law who is a nurse came over from Australia and she suggested it was the right time to do it. Prior to that we had been leaving the boys in their Moses baskets on the floor in the lounge in the evenings until we went to bed, but she suggested we did bath at the same time every night, then a feed and then put them to bed in our room (where they were sleeping at the time) whilst we stayed downstairs. It was good because it made us feel like we had more of an evening I suppose and evolved into our current bath/bottle/bed routine that we are still in now at 17 months!

Kelly, great news - what a great BIL having the DTs on his day off, is he craaaazzzzzyyy???? Still, I'm chuffed you'll get a tiny bit of time to do something with. I always get so pressured because I want to do EVERYTHING in 2 hours. I agree about o/n - I had my mum stay in my house when we went away 2 weekends ago but its different sending both away esp when you don't know them all that well. Mind you, if they're brave enough to take them on and the boys would settle fine it does give you a well, well, well earned (small) break and the older two would benefit I'm sure. Its hard to keep it fair though - would they wonder why they weren't getting to do it too? Or would they just be happy to get to go to the flicks? None of my three would be happy to stay overnight unless it was my mum who they know extremely well and who is a lot like me.

Are you taking anything for your mouth? I still feel just awful for you. I hope DP has been heaping on the sympathy. Antibiotics are my curse too.

Melanie thats fantastic! PO and park, it feels like such a milestone doesn't it and it really helps to get out for a little bit. For DD too, she needs to feel life is normal even if you're overworked. I'm sorry she's getting the heavy end from her dad, its normal, he's pressured and still adjusting to this huge change. I'm still adjusting if I'm honest. The responsibility overwhelms me sometimes.

He is doing what I do probably, expecting more of her because she now seems capable of so much more now you have little ones to compare her to. Whilst she needs to learn to be part of this new family, she also needs to feel secure and that she is still loved. I used to find myself saying "no I can't help with that I've got this this and this to do, you'll have to wait". Then her eyes filled up one day and she walked away really quietly. I heard myself and I tried to change it. I tried to talk to her as if we were the team. I made it that although I couldn't be so hands on I still had my ears and my voice totally for her. Keep your voice calm and quiet but no still means no. Your DP sounds like he's just feeling the pressure a bit. My DP and DD would go swimming in the early days. They got nice time together, he go a break and when the DTs slept for me I got a coffee. We still find splitting up and doing different things with the kids sometimes is quieter and calmer all round.

HM so glad you're still pregnant, lovely. Can you face any food yet? Its such a horrid feeling but yeah, it means things are looking good!!

Mars, don't tell me you're back in St Lucia. Ashamed to tell us? Be brave, we might sulk for a bit but we'll come round evenutally.

I'm wondering where mars has gone too - msut have been whisked away for her bday!

yesterday was great, the boys had great fun, didn't miss me at all. Rav didn't want to come home. I worked for 7 hours and got my TMA all finished. I'm seriously considering o/n now, as they seem to love it there, I guess cos they get so much attention. It would be goof for them to get used to it while they so young, and eventually maybe all four can go. The older two will enjoy the time with us tho, if they don't go. I'm thinking cinema or bowling and a meal out so they will be happy too. dd did ask why she couldn't go over yesterday, but she was happy enough with playing out in the garden instead and they were sent some food over, so they didn't miss out on that neither.

Mouth is still a bit sore, but swelling is virtually gone, so it must be on the mend. I'm quite at how long it is taking.

This morning I took the boys to the park, it was really nice having some time alone with them, to give them mroe attention. ds needs quite a bit of watching due to his issues. They are really mobile now, and I find it really hard trying to look after them both. Its a case of constantly deciding who is mroe likely to hurt themselves. I was weatchign rav come down a slide and saw poor shay fell over and grazed his face. I couldn't even get to him until rav was safely owon. It's impossible!

Kelly, that sounds great, I'm glad you're getting a wee bit of space to do your tma and spend a bit of time with just the DTs - its enough just two at once isn't it!! I agree with the park, its constant worry but they do love the outdoors. Ours are getting into the back garden more but still need constant supervision since DDs climbing frame provides no fear for mine. DT1 yesterday walked up the front of the chute TO THE TOP (fgs she's 21 months!!!) before letting herself go. I'm expecting broken arms from her soon .

I'm glad your face is feeling a bit better, it will take a while since it was so nasty.

There's a thread under chat about Mars, she claims her pc took a major strike. I think she's too ashamed to come clean and say she's on location . I can't do that fabby link thing......

I've been feeling really rough for about a week. I'm sad to say its PND type stuff. I guess this long after having the DTs it more like the D word. I don't even want to talk about it actually but thought I'd throw it into the pot. I've put my contact lenses in today though and actually topped up the make up for the school run so I must be better.

Anyway, I'm not really on here. I'm working through a nasty pile of paperwork, bills, party replies for DD, calendar to update, while the DTs nap. I don't know how you motivate for your tma, its takes me all my time to do the other stuff!

Happy day Kelly.

p.s. how is ds liking playgroup?

Hi all - FG hope you are feeling brighter - I sort of know how you feel i think. I feel like I am existing rather than living at the moment - this morning DH's boss rang at 6.45am - great!

Just left the DTs outside playing in teh back garden (I can see them through the window). They managed to open the back gate and I found them in next doors garden playing with the dog! I nearly had a heart attack! Thank god they hadnt wandered out onto the road. So now I cant let them play outside unless I'm standing by the gate - aaaaaagggghhhh

Hi all. I'm here briefly as I'm at my bf's pc supposedly checking email lol1

If only I were back in St Lucia FG. I find myself longing to be there, and not because of the gorgeous Rastas on the beach...honest.....honest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kelly, you look after yourself honey. That sounded nasty.

Hi meggiestwins. Welcome to our madness. My DTs are g/b and they were 2 in February. If you can get a working routine then go for it. It's an exhausting first 6 months....year....2 years lol, but worth it.

HM... glad to hear (ykwim) about the sickness and also sorry to hear that too.

My pc: well I turned it on to email my TMA to my tutor and I got a blue screen. AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! And of course I hadn't backed anything up on a disc...oh the shame! Gutted of North London. So I'm currently re-writing the blimming thing. Took my bloody hours to get it sorted the first time! Ah well...........sigh..............

Ooh and it looks like I've got my final 2 births lined up so that I can become an accredited doula. So, fingers crossed girls.

Right...gotta go. So much to do, so little time and DTs to pick up in less than an hour.

Missing you all......

BTW.... I need suggestions for keeping the wee escapologists in bed at night. DT1 keeps egging her brother on to get out of bed. He would sleep without her, but they don't like separate rooms and I have no other room to put him in anyway. So, think on that and I'll check back when I can.

Much love and kisses

errr, tape them to the bed?

What about a reward system, stickers or something for staying in bed? Ds used to keep getting up, I jsut kept on yelling at him for about three weeks until he gave up, so not a lot of help really!

How annoying to hear about ur tma , I would be screamign and throwing the computer around if it was me! I msut back up my work. Is the hard drive def not recoverable then? Do you have another computer you could stick it in to c? It sounds a bit as if the motherboard has gone. Well done on gettign so far on the doula thing! Fingers crossed for you.

fgm thanks for asking - ds is loving it! He is already learnign bits and pieces and it seems to be giving him confidnece. He is coming hoem so high, he is running circles around me. For someone who si usually very passive it is really makign me to see it.

Hi

Well what an exhausting few days it has been. DTs have got snuffles - any ideas on how to sort this out as their only 7 weeks old? We thought we were in luck when ds slept until 3.30am the other night but no such luck.

Think bedtime routine is slowly working as they are usually in bed by 8pm most evenings.

Today has been a nightmare - ds is finally asleep after being restless all day. DD1 has been shoved in the background but has finally gone for some quality time with daddy.

Need chocolate - may have to raid DD1's Easter Egg supply!

I think that young you usually jsut have to leave them to get over it. I was a bit naughty and put some vick on a muslin and tied it out of reach. You can't put in on babies that young, but it didn't do any harm that way. Steamy water in their room might help too.

We had a great weekend, the dts went away for two days to family. It was only suppsed to be one night, btu they were all having so much fun we ended up leaving them there a second night. We took the older kids for a pub meal sat eve, and to Chessington on sunday, so they had a lovely weekend too.

It seems so noisy now they back, and I had such a tidy house allw eekend...

Sounds like a fab weekend Kelly. How's your mouth? Have you fully recovered from the accident yet.

PC still in intensive care. Won't get back online properly for another week I think. Talk about cold turkey!

TMA almost complete. Just looking for some extra quotes, but almost there.. praise God!

I've decided that the best thing to do re:sleeping is not to let them have a daytime sleep past 12 noon. Then to run them ragged in the garden before bath. Worked a treat last night lol.

Love to you all.

Mouth is nearly better now, thanks. Took lot longer than I expected, but it's not sore any more.

Sorry to hear PC still not fixed, wish I was closer, would have sorted it for you! We've actually got 2 out 3 buggered atm as well. One is in for a faulty wireless card (ubnder guarantee) The other I'm going to have to repair at the weekend. Fingers crossed the last one holds out!

I find runnign round the garden really helps too, I chucked all mine out yesterday as soon as we got home - kept nice clean house, got the lawns mowed and wore out the kids. Have to make the most of it - rain again at the weekend

Kelly I used to think you were such a lovely mum and I know they need tired out, but getting the DTs to mow the lawn - they're only 13 months fgs

Well Kelly girl, are you lying back in a deck chair on your newly mowed lawn, sipping a pina colada (sp is shit!) while all around you your beautiful carefree children play together in harmony?

I'm not, I seem to have spent more time in the P.O. this week trying to sort out 3 passports for the kids (been collecting all the stuff and signatures etc since about February!!) and today was no exception!! Queued out the door . Still, they are now away and we have about 8/9 weeks to go, yahoo! Having a quick bite before school run time but I am having dinner with a friend tonight which will be heaps of fun and i'm looking forward to it. Just soooo much to do before then and I shouldn't be here .

Happy days girls.

p.s. DT2 told me "luth oo" last night as I tucked him in. My heart melted.

Haaaallloooooooo

My DTs are equal portions of hilarious bundles of energy and wind up merchants atm. I don't know whether to laugh or cry!!!

hello,

I've been so busy with the dts and studying and dd seems to be bringing so many jobs for me home from school. The school tries to involve parents I think, I'm dreading when all four of them are there!

The dts are fighting a lot, tookt hem to soft play yesterday. Ravi got very stressed when the hoover he fell in love with would not fit up the stairs and stood there howling with rage. then they both started on one of those little tikes cars. rav fell out the bottom, so shay dived in the window, and charged off with it, laughing manically. They are hilarious to watch, but such hard work. By the time ds had dragged me up the top of the frame to the biggest slide I was shattered.

Sunday we had a day out to a twin funday, must have been about twenty sets there, and it was a really good day. It was great meeting more twin mums, and I'm hoping to meet them again soon.

Family still going well, though there was an explosive row at the weekend. The rest of the (more distant) family finally found out about dp and I, and the boys. Relatives were talking til 7 sun morn, and the news spread as far as florida, as it flew around the family! Half of them are prob still in shock. Feels like I'm involved in the mafia sometimes.

Wow, Kelly I hope you've got big sunglasses to properly look the part. And of course if any strange people get within a five step radius holding a camera remember to fling up a copy of gardeners weekly across your face. Its madness you have caused such a stir but I guess lovely that you can too. I hope it all settles down soon, better out than in they say!

My DTs have been quite well for the last week and it has made such a huge difference. They are beginning to talk which has also helped hugely. At least I know what I'm dealing with, I get "no like it" at lunchtime, "sore tummy" at tea time and even the odd "poo" along with clutching of bottoms .

I've reduced my awful helper woman (by 1 evening) to 2 evenings and she finishes with us totally in 8 weeks. It was helpful at a certain stage since I'm on my own night after night but I'm a hands on mum and I'm just not good at someone else sticking their bit in. I know it will be a little harder but I'll be happier. She and DT2 didn't like each other (she didn't even pretend to like him ) and now they are opinionated and can run she just can't control a situation and I'm worried something goes horribly wrong. Anyway, thats all unimportant blah blah blah.

I passed my MIL in the street yesterday when I popped in to see my mum. I genuinely didn't see her and my mum told me she looked over and quickly turned her face away. When I saw her last she wouldn't speak to me only the kids but when I see her with DP she is sickly sweet. OOOOHHHHHH. I'm not angry one bit, I'm breathing and I'm rising well above the situation (and repeat as necessary).

By the way, is DS still getting on well at nursery? Do you see any change in behaviour?

Glad you managing to get the helper woman sorted. Shall I send you some bedbugs for MIL?

Have to admit, do feel quite pleased with myself, not everyone manages to piss off so many people in one go! It all crazy and wierd to watch (from behind my massive sunglasses of course).

Kelly darling, would you send them, really, please, two will do fine

hi laydeez - been quiet for a while but had my scan yesterday for 12 weeks - yay all is ok! Looks like a healthy bambino and just the one!!! Am v excited too as doc did say that although it is only an indicator, that there is a pubic tubercle (or something like that) that you can see at this scan that points down in a girl and up in a boy - this one was pointing downwards!!! But only a 60% definite so could still be another boy! I dont care, I just want it to be healthy!