D'y ever wonder how life got like this?

[FrumpyGrumpy]

New to MN but like what I read so far. Struggling to get by day by day at the minute and feeling isolated but not enough to make the effort to join in the 'groups' the whole world seems to think are just what I need!!!!

Have daughter of 4 and girl and boy twins of eight months. Not had time since they were born when all three kids have been well, am I just cursed? Throw in a house move that took 6 months, a partner that works away most of the week and a mother-in-law I can wait another lifetime to deal with and I've ended up the sort of person I used to look at and wonder how life got like that.

Anyone give me hope that when the babes are eighteen months I'll feel better?!! If not, anyone tell me that alternate nights of gin then chocolate is an ok passage through?

HM this is so hard and I'm sending my best to you. Its a waiting game you don't want to play. And it consumes all your thoughts doesn't it. It will put extra strain on you and DH so try to remember its not usually like this and it will change. Keep posting babe x.

There is a silent strain between Mr FG and me. We're not an argumentative pair but I really, really don't like my MIL (never really have, first couple of years were ok - together nearly 12 - but its got worse as I've had children and have little energy for her). I feel sorry for him because he doesn't see her they way I do and he just wants the happy family scenario and I can't do it. I've tried to explain that as our children get a little bit older and less needy and less ill constantly I will be able to play the dutiful DIL more easily but for now I want him to be happy to pop in for an hour on a Sat am (when DD and I go to ballet) and that be that. I think he wants more than this. I could go on..... but, hey, we all have lives to live!!!

Kelly, GOOD LUCK BABE, I've got my boobs crossed for you! I don't think not sleeping was because you were on the couch, I think its totally in keeping with night before nerves! Don't know about the smelly kids, feet?, bottoms?, breath?. I really wish you well with it (PIL not smells) and please tell us how it goes.

DT2 still really sad and feeling crap. His temperature keeps going on and he has conjunctivities in both eyes and looks like a yeti in the morning with crust and a crusty snotty moustache. The cough is better. I feel so sad for him, he looks like Eeyore .

How was supper Mars?

Conjunctivitis even.

By the way, its not like me not to like people. I like almost everyone and I was a very dutiful DIL for a long time (even when I started to get irritated by her I still did everything I should and more with a smile, then it got hard to hide). She wore me down over the years until I couldn't be arsed trying anymore.

X another for you HM and one for your wee babe X. I can't pray because I sold my soul to the devil but I can send kisses a-plenty.

Supper was good. They are a lovely couple. We ended up singing lots of Beautiful South songs and committing to going to a concert. lol

DD2 went on a sleepover last night at her friends. I realised that when she goes the noise leaves the house, but also a lot of the fun. The DTs adore her and squeal with delight whenever she's around.

It has been one of those rare non sporting weekends. DS1 has been home all weekend. He's got itchy feety though. He wants to be out and about.

DD1 has plans to go bowling with her friend tomorrow. I'm trying to work out all the logistics as I don't drive and I will have 4 kids with me.

The DTs have decided to drop their daytime nap. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm not hugely successful as they get to be as miserable as sin after 4pm. Hey ho!

The house is a mess. Can I be arsed? Nope! The cleaner is coming tomorrow. So, we'll have to get out of her way. Here's hoping for sunshine or at the very least a dry morning.

Are you ready for me?

Am laughing. We crossed and now it looks like I'm on a plane ready to roll my sleeves up! I know I'm obssesive about cleaning and tidying but I don't know if I could take on mini Mars as well as mini Frumps!

FG: must be time to buy your soul back lol! Sorry to hear about the conjunctivitus though. Any breastmilk handy? I found that to be rather handy in these situtations.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.... I have the MIL from hell. I haven't spoken to her in 6.5years since she went hell for leather to break up my marriage.... (a whole deep and dark story that I don't want to put on the internet). Suffice to say that even grandchildren never made a difference for her. First problem... I was a wee bit too dark for her little boy (best revenge was when his brother also married a black girl). Second problem... I didn't have the doormat abilities that she requires in a DIL. Third problem... I couldn't never be comfortable around the amount of bedhopping that went on (and already I've said too much)

So with regards to your MIL. I have nothing but sympathy babe. Continue to encourage him to see her, but keep firm where you are concerned. When you have the strength and energy to deal with her, I'm sure you'll deal with her.

Honey your room is set! I just air it daily!

hm, so sorry to hear the scan didn't go well. I really hope that everything goes ok for you this week. Will be praying for you and your little baby, and sending lots of hugs. x

I am exhausted, such a busy weekend! I think I got about 2.5 hours sleep sat night, fell asleep at 3.30 and woke again at 6! I think it was a mixture of nerves, tiny sofa (we only have two seaters) and not being with dp.

Sunday went really well. I was so scared, but they were so welcoming. It all seems rather surreal after such a long time of not speaking and awkwardness. They loved the kids, and were great with my two as well, which was a bit of a worry of mine. We had a lovely afternoon, loads of great food, and we're meeting again next sunday.

I have to learn gujarati, I really do! It was really awkward and I felt bad not being able to understand his gran and also she wants me to go over midweek sometimes. His aunt has offered to teach me.

I'm really happy, as it was so nice doing normal family stuff. My family have never really been into socialising - they tend to keep themselves to themselves, but I like having company and seeing people. Having said that, my parents are prob going to be jealous now, and I'm going to have that to deal with!

Your MIL sounds charming, mars(!) Does your dh still see her then? It must make things very awkward for you. She sounds a bit like my mother in the race aspect. My mother has so many prejudicial ideas that she really didn't like it when I got with dp, she thought i was going to end up covered head to toes and his skivvy, while he got married to an indian girl on the side and she hated that the kids were gonna be 'a right mixture'.

Hiya Kelly

good to hear that it all went well! Of course you must learn gujerati! Very important. Glad you are able to have some good family times. We do all the family stuff with my family. His family were up their own a's far to much to care about anyone else.

I wouldn't fret it re: my MIL. I'm well over that!

Really happy for you Kelly. Sounds like a lovely ending to the trauma that you've suffered.

How you doing today HM?

What about you FG? Have the frosts lifted yet? I was expecting you on my doorstep this morning. Did you get lost?

Hi girls,

Can't post much because I'm heading to bed for an early night. DT2 has been extremely unhappy and has only tonight at bathtime shown any improvement whatsoever. (The croupy cough has lifted but the virus goes ooooon).

DT1 sleeps badly anyway and DD gets up for a wee and needs tucked in again. So in all its been a bit like having newborns again with sleep in little bursts. I hate not having DP about through the night since it means every cry pulls me out from my haven I call bed.

AND......AND.........AND guess who has no voice and can speak only in (very sexy husky) whispers? Ye, I have been shared a bit of the virus too! Feels like I've swallowed golf balls.

Well Kelly babe!!! That sounds like a big RESULT! I think thats just brilliant and so lovely that they welcomed all the kids so well. I hope this is the beginning of a lovely family life for you all.

.....I'm just getting started and have a crying DT2. Later girls.......

Mars, didn't get lost, just wanted to make an entrance .

Peaceful nights all (and me - fat chance).

Hi HM.

FG \link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1375&threadid=161719\DT1 shares my evening}

Sorry it's not too good at the moment. The bed awaits you.

OMG I'm loving that! It is actually one of those moments that you will love all the more because you didn't have a camera, the camera never quite does it justice. See, who needs the controlled crying technique anyway? And did she say she wasn't sleepy???

I'm trying not to go in to DT2 because sometimes he settles better without the company but he's crying sad and I hate that. Off I go. In the words of another great adventurer, I may be sometime......

Kelly............ I got 74 for my first TMA. I'm really chuffed! Thought I'd share [grin[

well done mars! That is really impressive.

I've not been working at all or around here much as the laptop has gone in for reapir AGAIN and with all the kids at home I'm trying to keep out of the house. Had a lovely day at beales farm yesterday - the dts got filthy, tried to eat sand and gawped at the animals. Had a great time.
I'm trying to get some bits and bobs togther for the garden so we can start spending more time out there instead of me chasing them round the house. They are so destructive, and the house jsut isn't child friendly.

Forgot to reply earlier, the kids smell seems to be their hair as much as anything. They really sweat in their sleep and it reeks! No amount of washing makes any difference.

HI all. Well the news is that I have to wait another 5 days for a scan. They like you to wait 7-10 days after the first one so they can check for growth. So its on Tuesday 11th, its so horrible having to wait even longer to find out what is going on. I am at work trying ot take my mind off it but just feeling very in limbo and up and down.

Hi all, long time no speak (apart from Kelly).

How is everyone?

Hi Meeely, nice to have you swing by! I'm fine, still plate spinning and doing a crap job of it but hanging on by my cuticles. How's life with you?

Kelly, my DD has really sweaty feet, always has had. They get so wet during the day because she has shoes on aaaaal day at school (at home we all walk about barefoot) that her tights are drenched when she gets home. I bath her all the time and change her shoes etc so they don't get a chance to smell but I mean she sweats puddles!!! I empathise........and the mystery remains.

HM thats such a pain in the a having to wait more. Hows the bleeding?

Hiya Meely good to see you.

How annoying HM. Still praying!

FG.... should we expect you this side of Easter?

Marsy girl, I'd love to visit but I'm anchored not just physically but emotionally too. I know, I need to grow up! I need to find an explanation for DP and if I make it down later in the year (we might need to come down with DPs work) maybe we could arrange some undercover twitching of noses moment to meet! You do know I'm an unsociable creature don't you? I only ever go out with one or two special people (can't be a* wasting time on pleasant talk) and I hardly ever have anyone to my house as I am quite a private person really. You can read freak .

Anyway, DP is off next week and apart from a list as long as my legs (new shoes for kids, hairdos for kids) I have booked (a) a leg wax (yabloodyhooooo) and (b) a weekend away in a posh hotel. We will probably take DD and one DT so that its semi enjoyable. My mum will keep the other for two nights. I really want to go but I'm already really getting up tight about it. Both sides - home and away.

Funny, its totally fine when the wine is open!

I'm used to anti social freaks FG. I married one lol!

So no more excuses, sort yourself out, book a ticket and come be grumpy at mine. You might even fancy a sulk around some of the sights of London too.

nope fg, you can't possibly be antisocial, that wicked sense of humour is too good not to share! You only live once, you should go for it! Then I can come and meet u too, and we can do the tour de grumps altogether.

Hi all - DT2 just fell head first off our front step into the garden and now sporting a big shiner. DT1 currently empyting the kitchen drawers, main object of fascination is the garlic press and the melon baller. Have removed the mezzaluna from their grasp!

HM... What is a mezzaluna??????????????????

The joys of twins.

How are you feeling today? Been thinking about you a lot.

A mezzaluna is one of those curved knives with two handles that you use to finely chop herbs with. I have found them with it in one hand and a pair of meat forks in the other before, hence the removal from the drawer as it is now within their reach!!

AS I type, DT2 is lifting up my top and pinchign the roll of flab around my belly, how lovely.

They are taking my mind off things big style as they are just so cute at the moment, they have started dancing a lot when they hear music and it just really makes me laugh!!