D'y ever wonder how life got like this?

[FrumpyGrumpy]

New to MN but like what I read so far. Struggling to get by day by day at the minute and feeling isolated but not enough to make the effort to join in the 'groups' the whole world seems to think are just what I need!!!!

Have daughter of 4 and girl and boy twins of eight months. Not had time since they were born when all three kids have been well, am I just cursed? Throw in a house move that took 6 months, a partner that works away most of the week and a mother-in-law I can wait another lifetime to deal with and I've ended up the sort of person I used to look at and wonder how life got like that.

Anyone give me hope that when the babes are eighteen months I'll feel better?!! If not, anyone tell me that alternate nights of gin then chocolate is an ok passage through?

now kelly.... cheating would be asking my friend the Shakespearean professor! lol

You have interesting friends...wouldn't know any lawyers by any chance?!

I do indeed. I also know Harley Street Consultants, architects, dentists, nurses, midwives etc etc............... including vicars and priests!

I know singers and artists! One semi-famous and one famous and the others happen to be related to me....and very young .

Mars, I so want to be at a dinner party at your house - might get my body and soul sorted out once and for all!!

A vote for Karvol plug ins here and Olbas (I put it on their vests and so well out of wee fingers reach). DT1 is not a good sleeper and when colds hit she is up so much. I find giving her everything usually helps! I only give Medised throught the night and always elevate one end of her mattress with a blanket under it - I find this really helps stop the snot collecting at the back of the throat and thus reduces the coughing. Less clothes (i.e. jamas with no fleece bed suit or sleep bag) and a drink of cold water. Vick rub for the chest too is great to stop the coughing but again well away from the throat so fingers can't be tempted (so sore if it gets rubbed into the eyes!). I go with it all at the same time. Then I cry .

Mars, can't you get M'Netters to write the essays? Really, start a thread .

My DP always says I should write a book - I'm thinking of using this thread as inspiration since we've passed our 500 messages and are not far away from our first birthday!

you are well connected - what's your secret?!

I don't know anybody any more, tho did have interesting friends once. I guess that's a downside of moving around. I'd like the dinner party too, get my tma written, get my teeth sorted, list would be endless.

Kelly, all by default really (one is a family connection and one was the father of a boy I lived with many moons ago in my first flat - when I thought I LOVED him and actually knew NOTHING. He was a big sh* actually!!! )

Now I know heaps of nobodys. I find people extraordinarily interesting really. Just basic stuff, like why the plumber is too grumpy to talk. I find that a personal challenge to conquer before he leaves. Or why the woman from nursery has eyes that well up when she tells me a story of her now grown-up children. I don't mean I pry but I'm just really interested in what makes eveyday people tick. Its probably one of the reasons I constantly feel like an awful mother - I look into life too deeply.

I'm just feeling blue . I handled DD wrongly before she went to bed. She was waaay over excited and noisy and I smacked her on the side of her leg. Felt hideous straightaway and I still feel it. I don't believe I can retract what I've done or it sends mixed messages but I did explain at bedtime that she is a good girl and that I don't like having to tell her off but that I'd told her and told her and told her. We settled in bed and I read her two chapters of a new book. I don't like falling out just before bed. She's a great kid and I just feel pressure too easily. I always feel I could be doing much much better than I am. Everyone says I set my standards too high and I don't want to bring her up to feel the same. I rule the roost and I actually want to be more free and easy with my kids so they learn to be confident in their own abilities instead of trying to please me.

Should have had a glass of wine, then I might not have been a horrible witch .

FG... been there, bought the t-shirt and the dvd. As long as she knows that you love her!

How do I know these people? Put it this way it's been said (in an argument) that I can make friends over chicken drumsticks in Sainsburys. Like you FG I love to know about people and what makes them tick. I talk to absolutely anyone, esp the quiet ones. I live in a very m/c area and go to a hugely popular large church. I mix with many.

I had my english teacher friend over today and she helped thaw my brain freeze. TMA almost finished. Had to wait for DS1 to finish his homework, by which time I was in the middle of watching last week's ER. So instead of finishing the TMA... here I am. lol

You are both welcome to come to a dinner party at mine. I'm assuming that you would need to stay over? The kids can all budge up!

Going to try and finish it up now. After Easter my goal is to pass my driving test. Have read the other thread all about Bach's Rescue Remedy. Will buy a bucket load and remember the Kalms as well. First the small matter of the theory test (again) as it was so long since I last did it. I can finally travel past the test centre where I've failed my test before without fear, trembling and/or bitterness. So it must be time to start again.

The DTs have tried to be sick the last few days, but I've decided to ignore that. Right!!!!!!!!!! No more procrastination.... TMA here I come!

(btw... my english teacher friend says I can email the draft to her first )

I haven't got enough internet time before dh wants on to read this whole thread but is there any part of it that deals with when twins turn 4?

Because mine did at the end of December.

And after a period, we shall name it January, of normality they have both decided to turn into minature Damiens. More embarrassingly though they are playing up at nursery too, they still listen to the teachers when asked to do something but if the teacher says such-and-such an activity won't happen straight away dts2 in particular throws a strop. Guess they aren't favourites at the nursery anymore!

It really is making me wonder how life got like this because it is pretty miserable in this house at the moment. And then dts1 will come up, throw his arms around my neck, give me a big hug and kiss and promise to be good. For about 5 minutes.

I have tried and failed with the following;
naughty corner, confiscating toys, star chart.

Can I have my little princes back and not the princes of darkness? Tell me (even if it is not true) this only lasts a few weeks as I am really at the end of my tether and holding on by fingertips!

It will get better twoif. This too shall pass. It will pass in less time than it took me to write my essay.

I have finally finished. And so onto the next assignment... but for now bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello again
My beautiful babies are now nearly 6 weeks old - I can't believe how quickly time is passing by and how blessed we are to have 3 amazing daughters. DD1 is being really good and doesn't seem jealous at all. She looks over at them and says "That one is asleep/awake/crying" and then gets on with whatever she is doing.
Mars - I can't believe you are managing to find time to study
FG - Writing a book sounds like fun - there are certainly enough stories in this thread to get you started! Maybe we should start thinking up titles for you.

Hi everyone - been off the thread for a while!Would you believe the DTs have been really well lately, no colds, or coughs! Until today when DT1 vomited his morning milk, then his breakfast. He is in bed, sleeping it off whilst DT2 walks around (yes, he is walking!!) trouserless carrying a box of raisins in one hand and a shoe in the other.

Ahhh the joys of twin parenthood.

Thanks Mars, oil on water. Just needed the confessional really to empty out some mother's guilt even though it seems to be what runs through my veins along with the alcohol .

Hey hey TMA done, big clink of a glass to you tonight for that. Does your chest feel the relief or does it just feel like the chest of a mother of 5 does?!!

Twoif, I've only had one 4 yr old (so far) but I do remember her having a spell like this. I increased the responsibility a bit like allowing her to do some stuff she fancied. She would ask if she could wash the dishes (hey hey, I got lucky!) and instead of saying "not today" I let her. I asked her to help prepare dinner and really do stuff like cutting (within reason). I'm not saying its a miracle but could they be ready for more responsibility. I was still dressing DD at 3.5 when she was more than ready to do it herself. Mind you, I wish you luck because trying to do any of these things with two is a challenge and you need triple time. Are you doing the "praise the good and don't even make eye contact with the dodgy behaviour" stuff?

I tried a star chart once and it just made DD all concerned and upset if she didn't get one. I binned it pronto. Someone once told me how important it is for kids to learn the consequence (not in a nasty way). If they drag their heels and don't get a move on, let them be late. Let them learn what being late feels like (not "I told you so" but just "look what happened"), same for not wearing a coat, let them feel the consequence. Does that help? Am I talking crap again? Good luck.

JuA, well done honey, you sound like your sailing along and I'm so pleased DD is happy. I too have been blessed with a DD that loves her DTs and has from the beginning, it melts your heart. Keep us posted, there's usually someone about sometime every day.

Hi HM, this house is back on illness too, not been without for ooooooh, must be since at least October, maybe September. AND THERE'S CHICKEN POX ABOUT I'M TREMBLING FROM THE HAIRS ON MY CHIN TO THE HARD SKIN ON MY HEELS.

And I need to shave my underarms.

Jeez mine just get bigger and bigger. You'd think I don't get out much .

this thread is moving fast now! We have to do a twins meet up sometime, I'd love to meet everyone and their little ones.

How are you getting time to get on here jua?! Glad to here the girls are doing well.

Twoby thesea, I have a five year old, it does get easier. My three year old is now approaching another naughty phase, starting to answer back and generally push his luck. They do get throught it eventually.

fg - I got the tshirt too! Onkly this orning I snapped and yelled at ds and made him cry. i felt so guilty. I apolygised and everything was ok again. How is uour dd getting on at school now? I had a parents eve for mine the other week, and she is struggling and now seems to prefer her own company which made me a bit sad. She had lots of friends at her old school. She seems happy enough tho.

well done on the tma mars! I gotta do mine this weekend.

you're right we should have a meet up - where is everybody? Its obvious where I am due to my name. Bet the rest of you are all down south arent you?

I.m in sacot, mars is in london somewhere, and fg is up north - all over the place! We need to charter a private jet.

sacot = ascot

yes true. When i win the lotto I will arrange it.

Is your dt1 better now?

no - he threw up his breakfast and then had a big sleep.

He seemed fine when he woke up so i gave him some lunch, an hour later that came back.

He is asleep now whichi good as I can feedDT2 without DT1 getting shirty that he's not going to get anything as I'm not risking it again. No more food for DT1 today!

poor boy, hope he's better soon! Must be a bug. Mine have still got snotty noses from their cold, seems to be never ending.

I'm in London too. Love the idea of a meet-up, esp. before the my DTs are moving. Four months old tomorrow - where did it go?

The DTs are still poorly with cold/flu. I thought Medised was meant to induce sleep - does not work on mine................

Advice needed ladies. Am thinking about a holiday, I need it, but is it too much aggro when they are babies? All the equipment you have to take? Flying? Trying to get them settled in strange environment?

Is there anywhere with (quality/qualified) childcare that won't cost a second mortgage?

Is there anywhere you have taken the family and would reccomend for a family of five?

I'd go while they are still babies. We went to spain last year, with the dts when they were 5 months. We had a villa, so we had no problems preparing their stuf and plently of space for the 6 of us! Some villas also offer local babysitters. Plus they had their own rooms, so we got a bit of freedom in the evenings to swim and have bbq once they were all in bed. They slept most of the flight too. We're off again this year for a fortnight.

lucky you Kelly. Wow! Hats off to you All we manage is a house in Southampton lol.

JuA I manage to study cos the DTs are so much bigger now and I occasionally get some sleep. The first year passed me by in a haze.

HM... so glad that they are better. The vomiting sounds like the bug that DT2 got, but DT1 couldn't be arsed to get. Are the nappies runny too? Milky coloured...? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! That's what DT2 had.

Wherefore art thou Goldenoldie? I'm North of the river.

FG... love you! Remember the bed is free whenever you want it.

TwoIf.... 4 seems like a long time ago. DD2 is now 7.5. I don't know that she ever grew out of 4 lol! I think that kelly is right. Offer a little more responsibility and see how it goes... cos if it works then I'll be taking note and getting ready to do it with my DTs. You realise that with the age of yours we'll all be looking to you for advice

Mars - I'm in N1. Where are you?

Kelly - thanks for the advice. I will send off for the DTs passports this week.