D'y ever wonder how life got like this?

[FrumpyGrumpy]

New to MN but like what I read so far. Struggling to get by day by day at the minute and feeling isolated but not enough to make the effort to join in the 'groups' the whole world seems to think are just what I need!!!!

Have daughter of 4 and girl and boy twins of eight months. Not had time since they were born when all three kids have been well, am I just cursed? Throw in a house move that took 6 months, a partner that works away most of the week and a mother-in-law I can wait another lifetime to deal with and I've ended up the sort of person I used to look at and wonder how life got like that.

Anyone give me hope that when the babes are eighteen months I'll feel better?!! If not, anyone tell me that alternate nights of gin then chocolate is an ok passage through?

God Mars, what do you do with them at 5am?

At 5am I think, should I (a) kill them, (b) put them up for adoption, (c) ignore them and lie there fully awake and resentful or (d) put them in bed with me.

I tend to go for (d) as (a) would land me in my reserved prison cell in Holloway, (b) like (a) would be irreversible and perhaps not popular with the older 3, (c)...doesn't bear thinking about. I hate feeling resentful. In fact, I resent it lol. So (d) is the logical conclusion.

can't u kick them in with the older kids, mars? Thats what I do at weekends. Get the box of play food out and tell them all to play tea parties. It has gotten me thru til 9.30 once.

I think ravi has learned to say mum! It's so cute. shay is getting cuter too. I'm starting to look forward to them walking now. I don't think they can cause any more chaos than they do already.

How is ur dd getting on, fg?

Hi Kelly, thanks for asking, DD is physically getting there, her heart scan on monday was clear and she doesn't have to go back til march and then april if all is well. School is another matter. She has been through such a lot for a little body and she clings to me screaming when I leave her at her class. Its upsetting but for her sake I'm trying to be Mrs Happy and Positive. She is waking 3 times a night and having diarrhoea constantly. Its either that her system is still in recovery or that she is worrying and feeling stressed by being away from me. She had such a lot of very difficult things to deal with in hospital (real pain) and I was with her every step of the way, its no wonder that she feels this way. However, she needs to be at school and I'm finding it tough being cheery and patient when the clock is ticking and we need to leave and one of the dts has pooed and she's crying and I feel like a single mum (that was an un-deserved dig at dp who is marvellous but absent). Oh mild rant, wonder how that popped in!

Kelly, did you call the HV about your ds? I'm still thinking how lovely the sainsbury's singing was....

Mars, what time do your dts nap in the day?

'tis a quick visit as I'm off out to the cinema with my best friend.

The DTs nap at 11 and I now wake them at 12 or 12.30.

Kelly, I can't do that cos if they wake at 5 the last thing I want is for them to think that it's a normal wake up time. Also, don't want the others awake at that hour either.

Gotta run. Babysitter due imminently In fact I hear them (twins) now.

Have to go but just to say my dts got into a wardrobe full of things they shouldn't be touching today - didn't know they could open it and I only left them for 5 mins so I could pee!!!

I will leave it to your wildest imagninations how the room looked when I got back.

They giggled like mad.

It also involved some nappies and a box of now-shredded tissues.

Thought about crying (since I'd just grazed my elbow falling down the stairs carrying dt1 and burnt a big batch of food for the freezer that I was cooking) but then I saw how happy they were and it cheered me up no-end .

Enjoy the flicks Mars!

DP and I have a date next Saturday for the flicks and have yet to decide what to see. But hey, a date, maybe we'll just snog all night!!! (Or maybe not ).

I can barely post fg. I saw Memoirs of a Geisha and it was wonderful. So sad! Just my kind of film.

I want to see that, mars! It's def not dp's kind of film tho, so I'm going to get the book, and wait for the film to come out on dvd. We're off out tomo, prob going to see fun with dick and jane, not much on atm. I see what you mean abt the dts. Mine aren't up quite that early, thank god!

fg, I'm sorry to hear your dd is havign such a rough time at school. It really doesn't seem right that she should be dreading it that much. Have you thought about amybe a diff school, or would that make it even harder for her?

ds is having good days and bad days. He is singing once in a while now, which is lovely. We all went to the london aquarium at the weekend and he loved the fish. WE finally heard from the childrens center, but he has been put on a waiting list. I think the hv must have been talkign crap saying he would get appointments this month. They had to assess his application first, from which they decided he needs to be seen, but there s a waiting list. I've been askign some of the mums in special needs and they think he might be able to get help at school anyway, and that it is worth badgering the clinic a bit too, so I'm going to give those a try.

Hi girls, I've been slacking!

How are you all?

Our long awaited night out on Saturday ended in nothing - I have a stinking cold (we all do!) and all I managed was a couple of paracetamol and a sweaty very broken nights sleep. Am I cursed? Do I need some sort of exorcist? Does someone have a voodoo doll with my name all over it?!!!!

Last week I took dd to a cranio-sacral therapist (took DT2 when he was newborn and suffering chronic colic with miraculous results). Maybe its mumbo jumbo but the facts are she clung to me screaming and crying everyday I dropped her at school and on Tuesday morning, following the cranio-sacral visit, she gave me a huge hug a huge kiss and said "bye mum" with a lovely big smile. Its been the same everyday since and she's so lovely and happy, singing, dancing and being her daft old self again! A lovely happy me .

Sadly her nails are falling off (painful). I rang the hospital who said it could be expected following a severe illness. I'm now giving her a multivitamin and probiotics for her diarrhoea and they gave me advice on diet (no wholegrain bread, no cherries, no pears, no strawberries - everything I've been giving her for good health!!!) And most sadly her beautiful blonde mop of thick shiny healthy hair is falling out . Her poor wee body is still in recovery but we'll get there. Against all sensible thoughts we have booked a holiday in July so it will give us all something to aim for and the sunshine should give us all a boost.

I'm glad your dd is feeling happier. I can't believe she is still going through it all though, it must be heart breaking to watch.

ds is off to the child center today, keep everything crossed for me! We got a load of appointments through.

god knows wht the dts are gong be like there, they are so mischievous now. Akshay loves emptying cupboards and stray packets of wet wipes.

Hi girls, how is it going in your neck of the woods?

Following DDs hospital story over January/February I ran out of my herbal stuff than I've been taking to keep me cheery. AND I'VE BEEN A WITCH!!!! I have had a stinking cold which is still hanging around, but, needless to say I went today to get some more so that harmony might be restored once more. Rather annoying since DP was off last week and my cold and mood meant we didn't get the best out of it although it was still nicer not having to take the DTs on the school run.

ANYWAY, enough of my same old story..... zzzzzz.....

How did you get on Kelly at the child centre? And how is life on the whole?

Mars, lay your stories on us you slacker......

p.s. I NEEEEEED my herbs. I was at the checkout in Tesco today and there was a lovely handsome man there. He flirted with MY DAUGHTER ,

trying not to slack fg!

what can I tell you about my DTs and my life?

Ooooh I know!

The DTs are doing a photo shoot for Noddy on Friday. A mum at school is a photographer and her clients wanted some children and so she asked me. They're getting paid. Isn't that fantastic?

We met Hub2Dee and Dee and their DD today. Had such a good time. Better than I was expecting. (I like to keep my expectations low, then I feel better afterwards). Hub took some phenomenal photos of DT2. DT1 was asleep sadly. His photos are amazing. I want them all over my walls. Am trying to bribe him into being my personal photographer. Am prepared to bake Lemon Drizzle Cake 24/7!

The DTs are masters of escapology. I put them in travel cots to prevent their getting out at night. No chance. DT1 regularly appears at my feet saying...."Milky all gone Mummy. No night night!" So I'm up and down those stairs like nobody's business.

DT2 did a 13 hour night last night, please God that they would both do the same tonight.

I've a million MNers coming to my house on Thursday. I'm really looking forward to it.

The DTs are 2 on Saturday. Who knew that time could fly so fast? DT1 talking up a storm, DT2 just grins and sings. lol

I am really really loving them at the moment (playgroup helps).

So there you go! News from Mars.

FG, Kelly.... we must meet one day with our DTs.

Hi girls,

Hardly a minute to spare around here atm! The dts are everywhere. I've had to childproof the cupboards to stop the dts emptying them. Akshay has already worked out the stair gate and nips under it to wreck destruction upstairs. Ravi has worked out how to get around the gate across the lounge and wrecks havoc through there. When I blocked that off, he pushed a box over, climbed on top, and had one leg up trying to get over the gate! I can't wait for summer so I can chuck them all out in the garden! They are such hard work, but so cheeky I jsut gotta laugh at them. I'd lvoe to meet up witht he dts, but can you imagine three sets of the horrors!!

ou has started again too. I've had to split the third year and only take one course this year, otherwise I'm not going to get the grades I want. the kids are so demanding I can't do too much. Have u started one yet, mars? And what about driving? You were talking about learning. WE've jsut got a new MPV, as everything was packing in on the old one. And I HATE it. I cannot parellel park the bloody thing, and it is boring and nasty. I want my 4x4 back!

ds loves the child center. It is really well equipped and there are about seven different professionals and only about the same number of children, so he's getting loads of attention which he is loving. It is a lot like a mother and toddler group, except they are doing various tests, but he jut thinks he is playing and has been very relaxed. On the first visit they told me that his fine motor skills are very delayed, at least a year behind. I'm waiting to hear more, we have another two play sessions, a medical, and a consolidation session to go yet, but hopefully come mid march we'll have a good idea of what he needs. I'm really happy he is finally getting the help he needs.

hello ladies - could use some uplifting words if you have any. DTs both sick again, this year we hae had a virus, tonsillitis, a sickness bug and now colds again and bad coughs. Both awake in the night all the time again. Had to take one of them to the hospital and now he needs an EEG scan which is worrying me.

I just feel like they are constantly sick, my Mum is always questioning why they are always ill. People keep asking me why they arent walking yet (they are nearly 15 months) and I just feel like nothing is going right.

Sorry to put a big downer on the thread. I could just use some help from people who have been int he same boat.

Hi hm, sorry to hear you're having a rough time. Why the eeg scan?

fwiw, 15 months isnt late for walking. Especially if they are efficient crawlers, they may not want the effort of walking. as for the illnesses, ime normal too, but very tiring, I cant imagine what it's going to be like when I've got the dts going through it.

u can msn me on [email protected] if youy want someone to chat to anytime. I'm usually online during the day tearing my hair out!!

hm.... 15 months is fine not to walk. My bf's ds didn't start walking until he was 18 months. Couldn't get over how tall he was when he started.

Also, it's winter. All they do is get sick until Spring (I long for Spring).

Did the hospital give you any reason for the EEG?

I'm sure that all is well. DT2 has just gotten over an infected cold and impetigo. Two days of a non-streaming nose and there you go... back again! DT1 seems a bit more resilient. She had a bit of a temp today though.

HM you are doing really well. My email is lovelymarslady at aol dot com. If you want another twin mum to talk to (and I see that Kelly has also offered) then email me and I'll give you my number.

It will get better. 4's the magic number. Their immunities seem to kick in by then.

Praying for them and esp the EEG.

Kelly... yes I've started my OU. Lot of reading. If you see me around MN too much in the next few weeks... give me a kick! I've got my first tutorial on Thursday and no time to finish reading the play... gonna be up late tonight and tomorrow.

The driving will have to wait until after Easter, but I am going to do it. My friend passes hers last week and she was more nervous than me lol.

Thanks to you both - I will probably email you separately too. The EEG scan is because DT2 has moments when he looks up at lights and his eyes sort of roll back into his head. Has had a few of these spells most recently on New Years Day. So its precautionary really to see if he has any type of epilepsy - the paediatrician said it was probably something that he will grow out of but that we have to have the scan to be sure. Joy! Anyway thanks again for your words, will be in touch later.

Hello
It seems ages since I first posted - and now my beautiful babies have arrived.
Jessica Helen (5lb 11oz) and Emily Rose (6lb) on January 30th.
They are both sleeping at the moment - they only seem to manage this together during the day!

I am sure I will be back with lots of questions soon

Ju
xx

Congratulations JuA, Lovely names and good weights. You have to psot a piccie when you get chance! You must be totally exhausted at the moment, try to get as much rest as you can. I'm broody thinking about baby dts! I'd love no.5 but dp wouldn't entertain the idea.

hm - good luck with the eeg. mars is right abotu spring, I long for spring too. I think the winter is the worst then the summer comes and you can get out with them, then by the following winter they are that much older and it gets easier.

mars, foot at the ready. And start those lessons! My tutorials don't start til the end of the month. I'm def going to them this year, as I'm only doing one course. Hoping will be a chance to meet people.

Congratulations JuA. How lovely. Twin girls.

The best thing I can tell you is to "bully" them into the same night time routine. If one wakes for a feed, wake the other. It does work, but it takes time. Otherwise your nights will be so long.

Do you keep looking at them wondering quite how you managed to have 2 at once? I still do.

I hope you have a lot of help (or at least some help). If it's offered.... take it!

Sleep (lol) when and where you can. Don't worry about the house. Oh and do you want my printed list to hand to people who will question you every time you walk out of your door?

Are they twins? No I just like to take 2 newborns out with me whenever I go anywhere
Do twins run in the family? Only when they miss the bus
Did you know it was twins? No, thought one was a goat.
You've got your hands full. Yes, but I still have two feet.
You must be mad having twins. Not mad, lazy. Couldn't be arsed to have them one at a time.

ad nauseum.........

The questions people ask are fine the first few times, then you realise that people are going to be asking them forever! LOL

In all seriousness though, congratulations. I pray they bring you nothing but joy.

Ok Kelly, I'm off. The DTs are away until 3 so I need to read a play and listen to a course CD.

HM... will be praying for your DT as well. Here's praying it will be over just as quickly as it started.

Always happy to talk.

Yes Kelly, I really have gone this time!

Hi girls. God, you go away for a day to mop up some poo/noses/laundry/tears/leaky cups/leaky pants/self and when you come back......!

Harrogatemum I totally sympathise. We are going through the same and it was the same last winter. Until I had the DTs I hadn't had a cold for about 12 years and now ALLL the time. I'm kind of getting used to someone in the house always being ill but its really hard and constant work.

When its colds and coughs I try to be fully stocked up with everything in at least double quantities - calpol, nurofen, olbas oil that I sprinkle all over their fleece suits for bed, Vick for the chests (I think it helps calm the coughing), and Kelly's tip the Karvol plug in really helps too. I also slightly lift the top end of the mattress by putting a big beach towel under and that also seems to help. My advice is do it all! Wee drinks of cold water in the night too to just soothe the throat a bit. Its all palliative care but you feel better for feeling armed.

If its more than that (sickness then laundry AAARRRRGH) remember that all the usual routine needs to take a back seat and just concentrate on getting through. Cut as many coners as you can and think that in a few weeks the bad will be replaced by the good.

Harrogatemum come on and vent it as much as you like - its usually me! And as far as walking - its nobodys business but yours and the DTs are perfectly happy as they are, be strong and don't give in to insensitive people (what do they want you to do anyway!!). Good luck sweetheart.

JuA, Congratualtions! Glad you have your wee bundles - LOL at Mars list of chat, I ditto that! I remember being stalked around a shopping centre one day by a woman who eventually plucked up the courage to tail me into a shop and ask to see them! All the best, you will be totally exhausted and we're here for as much moral support as we can give.....

Kelly/Mars school run for me..... love to your broods x.

Hi FG.