D'y ever wonder how life got like this?

[FrumpyGrumpy]

New to MN but like what I read so far. Struggling to get by day by day at the minute and feeling isolated but not enough to make the effort to join in the 'groups' the whole world seems to think are just what I need!!!!

Have daughter of 4 and girl and boy twins of eight months. Not had time since they were born when all three kids have been well, am I just cursed? Throw in a house move that took 6 months, a partner that works away most of the week and a mother-in-law I can wait another lifetime to deal with and I've ended up the sort of person I used to look at and wonder how life got like that.

Anyone give me hope that when the babes are eighteen months I'll feel better?!! If not, anyone tell me that alternate nights of gin then chocolate is an ok passage through?

ok, cheers. I will do that. But i'm going to have to say something to the teacher. I think at her age she needs her confidence built up rather than stretching her too much. I never pushed kids that hard.

Hey Mars, you're having a time honey. Good to hear your taps on the keyborad though. Congrats on the desk. Does that mean we're on it as you read this or are we confined to communal space?!!

Kelly, I'M worried about your DD. My DD1 is 4.5 and in P1. I guess your Dd is in P2? It sounds hard to me for that age and anyway, more importantly, there should be no general education at that age IMHO, the age differences at that age are huge, IYKWIM. If its too much for her, its too much and the teachers are paid and its their job to identify that and support her. I remember pooing my pants in HIGH SCHOOL!!!! I was too scared to ask to go to the loo. However you're her mum and you've noticed a change in her so something is worrying her only she doesn't know it. Sorry, don't mean to sound the way this looks I'm just in a hurry..... Will log on soon to hear how its going. Good luck with it all.

Go with what you feel kelly. I refused to let DD2 do more than I thought she could handle.

As FG says, you know your child and if she's changed... then you talk to the teacher.

No FG... my lovely desk is in the kitchen. I can't have the computer on it and have people using my desk. Don't be daft woman. It's mine!!!!!!!!!!!! Mine I tell you!

dd is in yr1. She threw up again yest, I'm getting more and mroe worried about her. She was fine all summer. As soon as she back to school the sickness starts again. She reckons she likes it. I really am not convinced tho.

I think you should see the teacher on Monday. Ask her to keep an eye on her in the playground as well, just in case!

I hope she's okay soon.

btw... good call with the babydan. My DTs love theirs and you can get a tent to go with it so that it becomes a playhouse when they are older

Hi Mars, have you bought a special duster just for you and your desk? or will you just give it a body dust as you lie on top hugging it? .

Kelly, how's your dd? Its a big worry for you and hopefully one that can be sorted to your satisfaction. Even the little things at school (going to the loo on your own, dealing with a fall in the playground, getting ready for gym) are big things for them because they're expected to do it on their own. Hopefully her anxiety is based on something like this which is (a) help-able and (b) something that she'll adjust to. However, I agree with Mars that you should talk to her teacher, whatever it is is something big for her and she needs to feel you're with her. My dd's teacher wants us to leave them at the door now not bring them in to the classroom. My dd isn't keen (cried telling me) and neither am I. I just think that if thats what it takes to start her day off well then thats what I'll be doing. I leave her outside the classroom and she unpacks and waves happily through the glass when I go. Just because they are the teachers doesn't mean we become the pupils again! Thinking of you honey, its tough having this on top of the colds etc....

My DTs are runny at the nose as well after just a few months without it, ah the joy. Just praying it doesn't develop.

I spoke to the teacher today. Dd was sick at the weekend so this was first day back. The teacher was really nice, and very helpful. She discussed what dd might be getting stressed about, agreed to match her homework to her age, etc. They didn't realise she is normally confident and bubbly, and are going to have a quiet chat with her too. So hopefully it might help a bit.

The dts seem to be getting better (frantically touching wood). Now Akshay has decied to become clingy. He has developed the most deafening schrieking cry everytime something doesn't please him and when I am out of sight. It drives me nuts. Any tips on clingyness? i've never had to deal with it before - do i carry on ignoring him, or will this make him worse?

They were thrilled with the playpen, thought it was great fun, esp Akshay who sat there with arms oustretched behind him grabbing the bars. looked rather peculiar! It has also put paid to ravi's investigation of the printer, the dvd player and the coffee table.

oh the high pitched screaming!!!!!!!!!!! DT1 can deafen a dog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With clinginess I ignore as much as possible or try to distract. When that doesn't work I sit down with them for a few minutes. Hard when they are both like it though.

Glad they like the playpen. Mine do. You can get a tent to go over it later on as well.

My DTs are streaming and screaming. Such a joyous combination! Still they feed themselves completely now... including porridge! Have job lot of Medised in the cupboard. Same with Jnr Olbas Oil. Got calpol and nurofen. Good to go!

FG.... of course I body dust it! Is there any other way?????

forgot... sorry....

Glad you spoke to the teacher and that things will hopefully change.

dts feeding themselves porridge?? My ds can hardly manage that and he is 3!

I've seen those tents, look so cool but pricey. Think will have to keep a look out on ebay once they get older.

nearly forgets to curtsey...

I got one from ebay, but have to send it back cos it has bits missing! Grrrrrr

Might just invest in one new I think. Especially as they should get years of play out of it.

Do try to remember your curtsey in future!

Aw glad to hear about school Kelly, I hope this marks a change. Keep us posted I'm interested to hear how she does because I'm sure my dd could have a spell like this.

My DTs do the screeeeeeeaaaaaam and its hellish on top of dd saying "mum, can you.....".

As for clingyness, DT1 is no bother, DT2 is clingy, jealousy plays a part. I do like the Baroness does (curtsey, curtsey, bow head, back to the door), spend a little time being there playing letting him see that I'm still loving him and beyond that I let him be. When he's really clingy he goes in his highchair (since he won't leave my legs alone, and the legs aren't my best feature) and gets popped in front of the TV until he calms down then he's allowed out to play! Sorry, maybe I'm horrible but its the only way. Lucky girls that your babes like playpens, both of mine treated it as a prison cell (although it was a travel cot not a REAL playpen) and now its a glorified toy box). A lady I met on the school run who has DTs said her older one used to sit in it to get peace and safety to play!

BaronessMars (curtsey, curtsey, bow head, back to the door, would you like a ready salted Walkers Lite with your wine?) have you been given the title because of your outstanding contribution to parenthood or because you're feeling a bit puffy chested with YOUR body slickin, shiny, tidy, clean and organised desk?

Wednesday nights are always a challenge for me and DT1 is running a temp so it ain't gonna be a good one. Off to pour a glass of, read dd some Peter Pan and log on later with my frozen box curry (everybody say aw!).

Later girls. (Curtsey, curtsey, bow head, back to the door.)

How did your evening go fg? Is dt1 ne better?

I so glad I got that playpen now. I hadn't set it up this mornign and they gettign so quick that between them they managed to half eat a tissue, chomp on a dirty nappy, escape out to the hallway and knock over half the chess pieces in the space of ten minutes. And they nt even crawling yet!

Had another chat with teacher today. Looks like the problem is going to either improve or change drastically anyway - we are on the move again. I'll be glad to get r in a differenct school, though I think she has learned a lot from a year in London. At least she no longer gawps at women in saris.

DP has been offered a web develoment job in Camberley. We're very excited, as we wanted to get a better area. We're not in the best area in Croydon, and we badly need a bigger place. And a garden!

My worried are uprooting dd again mainly, and how the hell we actually going to do it. We're looking at moving before the end of the month, and I still dont have full driving license yet. And nobody around to help us! Aaagh!

Kelly darling OMG!!! Congratulations on the job and the nice move AND oh god moving with them all will be hard.

We moved house and it was very difficult. Left one house as a family of three, stayed with my parents for 6 weeks, turned into 6 months and had the babies there 8 weeks after we moved in. I've found it hard because there's been no time to make it feel like home or unpack properly and we've been here since last December. It p*** me off a lot of the time but I just keep saying in my mind "ignore it, let it be, it'll be different next year". Its hard, esp when you have obsessive compulsive tendencies!!!

However, having a bigger place, a garden and a new start will really be good for all of you in the long run and thats where to focus. I'm xcited for you. I can't offer any hands on help but will always be about for any OMG moments you feel you want to have , like every 42 seconds!!

DT2 is miserable, think its molars (he cut two recently and two still coming). DT1 is crazy tonight. I ended up putting her to bed early because she was crazy, like someone had spiked her drink .

Anyone think its actually really healthy to sleep in 40 minute bursts? And are saddle bag eyes trendy in black or purple? (I can do either.)

DP has work dinner (black tie!) and I'm alone with 3 AGAIN.

God I normally unpack everythign within 48 hours. Drives me nuts seign it all messy. This is going to be such fun. And no mumsnet for those aaargh moments! Not til we get bband up and running neway.

I'd say purple def, perhaps with a bluish tone? Black is soo last season, dahling! [grin} I;ve got them too, but hopfully things are improving, dt1 has gone from ten times, to five, to twice last night. dt2 is def teething, would not stop chomping the supermarket trolley yesterday. I think thats what they need - a nice cold steel bar to gnaw on!

kelly... I need your life to calm down a bit. lol I am also moving house soon. Just sorting a few more things out but could be gone in 3 weeks.

I am so copying you.

FG: good to see that you remember your place.

That is so wierd. I am going to run away from the strange stalker type choc lady!

Are you moving far? And remember - everything has to be unpacked within 48 hours.

Hi Kelly... not too far away. About 5 mins drive and 20mins walk.

So life can stay pretty much the same! Good for all the schools etc... and not too far from my best mate (but too far iykwim... won't be a short stroll from her house anymore).

Will I have to move again to keep in with you guys since my move was (the very end of) last year? Do let me know cos I don't have to pack much . Shout me when the 48 hours begins and I'll tell all the kids to snap to it!!

I realise my purple eye bags are lop sided, my left actually looks not too bad but the right one is dodgy to the extent that I'm trying to talk to people from one side of my face only and hope they don't think I've had a stroke.

Remember girls pack a separate box for the emergency kits for night one (tea, kettle, cups, tons biscuits, Cornflakes, £30 cash for the takeaway dinner, loo roll, towel, plastic bags, torch, batteries, wine, gin, beer (variety is healthy), jumpers (good for wearing, sitting on, wrapping kids in and wiping bottoms if you forget the loo roll), sledgehammer (y'never know, keep one handy).

I'm so useless at this lark, even tried to change to my seasonal name but it was too big. I guess if your the Baroness I'm the damn chambermaid .

I am now simply Milady..........

You could change your name to DowagerFrumpGrumpness. That would work lol

Milady doesn't have the same ring to it milady! I just stay boring old Kelly, too busy and unoriginal to think of anything better!

Doesn't sound too bad for you moving mars. We're only moving about 40 miles this time, but it still going be fun. I think I might forget the sledge hammer... along with the dts, ds and dd. Oh and possibly dp! A nice house all to myself, and gin and beer, and a £30 takeaway would def be good.

keep your fingers crossed for me tomorrow. law exam. Been so busy revising, and I really haven't wanted to. Far more interested in househunting, really! Plus I'm missing playing the the kids.

Exams Kelly, I'm so in awe, you are such a woman. I will be sending you all my positive vibes tomorrow and have everything crossed (including my stringy boobs, they have so fallen to the gravity/breastfeeding malarkey that they are strung round my neck a number of times) for a successful day. What do you do with your brood when you are away and how do you switch off from them and on to the exam? Hopefully by the time you read this you'll be done and I will pour a little liquid refreshment to toast you!! Good luck and my best to you .

My DP is away all week again and I am back to feeling like a single mum. Wednesdays always seem to be hard nights for me and I frequently find myself here at this time, while my beautiful children lie temporarily sl , wondering what the hell life is all about! A visit here grounds me and reminds me of whats important.

I have had a deep sadness that has lurked beside me since May. My loving and perfect parents (v perfect parents, idyllic childhood) told me things weren't all they seemed. Currently they are living apart for the first time in over 30 years and it is a secret only I know and hold tight. We work at keeping up appearances. I have become stronger because of if but tonight I feel sad and feel the need to release some of the burden. Cheers me dears and peaceful nights to you all. x

Having re-read that I'm worried Kelly logs on sometime before the exam and gets pulled down by my depressive chat . Its nothing I can't handle and I've handled worse and your exam is THE most important thing of the day. GO TO IT, sing "FAME, I'M GONA LIVE FOREVER" at the top of your voice and know that we're right behind you, GO KELLY, GO KELLY xxx.