Anyone with baby twins AND a toddler??

[BBeau]

Hello, havent been posting on this site long but have had some really useful advice. First time posting on the multiple births. I have 6 month old twins and a 2 year old boy. I just cant seem to find anyone in my position. I was not on fertility treatment and there are no twins anywhere in our families so needless to say i spent the next 2 weeks crying when i found out it was twins (especially as it was a hard enough decision to have a second anyway). I have absolutely no family around so no help from them. All we have is my husbands mum who works full time and very occasionally will take my son for a couple of hours on her day off on a Monday, thats it. Its just so awful at the lack of help we have. To make things worse by 30 weeks i was so big i couldnt look after my son anymore as i was on crutches, my husband had to have the next 3 months off work (he's self employed so didnt get paid - we had to take a morgage break. I had one by cesarean and one natural, i heamorrhaged twice in hospital and almost died. The girls were in special care for a week but i was in about 3 weeks ( so my husband all alone had to take the girls home for first couple of weeks with son). Ive had on going problems since - no end of consultant appointments because my stomach muscles were split so bad they've not gone back and my bowels have herniated through the middle so i have been referred to plastic surgeon to have them pulled back together and stitched up and a tummy tuck as skin is so badly hanging down that it took my c-sec scar about 4 months to heal as it was getting no air (it also got infected). We have no one to help with the kids when i have this op so husband will have to have time off again - god knows how we will cope! I just dont get any understanding from any friends or my husbands family. They all just think we are exaggerating when we say how hard it is. I literally dont stop from 5.45am when my son wakes to about 10pm when girls finally have their last bottle (their not that well either, bad diarreah all the time, nightmare drinkers etc etc also under a peaditrician - another story. Dont get me wrong - sometimes i feel the luckiest lady on earth to have 3 of the most adorable children but also feel devasted at the fact that i have no time to spend any quality time with any of them. My poor son has really had to take a back seat for which now i think we are paying the price as he is into absolutely everything - i swear he is like a tornado in the house. I try to clear up and hes undoing everything ive done. I hardly get out unless i have someone with me as obviously we have 2 buggies (1 double). Friends cant understand why i dont take them out alone - i swear, both me and my husband struggle with them all let alone taking them alone, also son wants to walk now but so young cant be trusted not to run off - which he does. He has reins but sits on the floor when he's had enough so cant take him out without buggy. The girls are still feeding every 3 or 4 hours as well. The work is endless!! Also cant really leave 2 year with girls as he is being spiteful to them (must be jealous) he literally drops himself on them with his whole weight when my back is turned. People just dont understand...... Anyone in my situation?.....

Hi BBeau your not alone, I have 17 month old boy and girl twins and a 3 year old son, there is only 20 months between them. I can related to so much that you say I had SPD towards the end of my pregnancy and could not walk without crutches, I struggled to look after my eldest son and was so overwhelmed and exhausted by the pregnancy and the toll have twins takes on your body. The feeding was relentless and my eldest son was not even 2 at the time was very demanding. Re: the buggy situation, I had my eldest and the heavier twin in a double buggy and then had my other twin in a papoose. I did this for as long as I could then got a buggy board to go on my double buggy for my eldest. This seemed to work quite well and was the only way I could go out by myself with all 3! My twins are just starting to walk and I am looking for the double belted reins like you my eldest can not be trusted to walk alone without running off. I also have no family help and this has been the hardest thing I have had to cope with feeling very alone, isolated. People try to understand, but I don't think they really can until they have walked the path you are walking, my mum is terminally ill, my father lives 3 hours away and my husbands family are not that interested, they won't have all 3. So I decided to get help, I set up a multiples baby-sitting circle and applied to charities for help. I am also having issues with my eldest venting his frustrations on the twins and have even had to seperate them in the car and I feel I do not get any real quality time with any of them. My eldest has just started preschool which I think he was ready for and has helped a bit although its such a small amount of time.As they get older, things like bottle feeding, weaning etc do get easier, but I am always adapting to the new challenges and the logistics of their ever changing needs. Big Hugs your doing really well!!! I was so pleased when my twins turned one, I was proud that I had survived!!

Just joined and read your post. I hope it's going better. I too have a 2 1/2 yr old son and id twin daughters, now 6 months. All were born in Jan, birthdays are 6 days apart. I had a lot of my issues during pregnancy. At 20 wks gestation I found out we were having twins, and then at 24 wks I was placed on bedrest for 11 wks, when the twins were born. My son was passed from one family to the next within our church, as I couldn't care for him. We had to deal with a some behavior issues b/c of that. I think you had/ have to deal with a lot more issues than what I had though. Take heart, you're not alone, although it may seem you are. I'm just now getting out with all 3 by myself, and it's not easy. I still use all the help I can get, especially to go grocery shopping. I hope it's going better for you.