Newborn twins

[Mackenzie2009]

Hi all
We've just found out our young daughter is expecting twins. To say this has comr as a shock is an understatement. She's only 15 nd my husband is furious. Our daughter is insistent that she wants to keep them and continue her education so I imagine that I will be the main caregiver for a few years and Imstumbling at the first hurdle. Where do I get a pram and travel system for two very tiny newborns. We really don't have a lot of money and I'm starting to get scared about the cost of everything. Any help will be immensely helpful.

Oh OP I can only imagine what a shock this is! One of my friends from baby group has twins and loves her Bugaboo twin pram, I think they are around £1.6k brand new but you may be able to find one second hand on market place for cheaper if that is out of budget and just give a good clean and buy new insert etc. Car seats you have to buy new because it’s so important to be 100% sure they have not been involved in an accident, depending on how far along she is currently it may be worth having a look in the sales. Are the father or his parents parents going to contribute towards things? If they haven’t offered then it’s worth you or your daughter making a point of asking because preparing for 2 babies even done as cheaply as possible isn’t going to be cheap.

What a shock for you both. I don't know your family circumstances but I personally wouldn't be thinking Oh my 15 year old is having twins and wants to stay in school so I will have to look after them. I also wouldn't financially be able to do it either.
If she wants to continue the pregnancy she needs to be aware of what this entails and that is caring for 2 babies whilst being a child herself.
You can support her but you don't need to be the caregiver, this is her choice and decision so she needs to do this.

As for the practical side, I would look at vinted and selling pages. Babies don't need brand new expensive things.
I know there are grants (sure start grant or similar?) For pregnant women on low incomes but I'm unsure how this works with a child being pregnant. There are also healthy start vouchers, have a look at what she is entitled to. Best wishes to you all

Twins are very expensive and brutally exhausting.
Will your marriage survive having them?
Your dd needs to understand as best as she can what she is taking on.
As a family you need to be prepared that they are much more likely to come early.

The first travel system I bought cost more than my first car but it didn't actually work well.
A friend bought a pram and her dc shared for the first couple of months.
Fitting cars seats and the travel system in the car you use is worth thinking through, we needed a new car.

I agree with looking on facebook marketplace and other similar sites as buying everything new for two is very expensive.

Thankyou all for your quick responses. Unfortunately our daughter has kept her pregnancy completely secret. She's almost 6 months along so other than adoption we don't have a choice. It's tearing our family apart. My husband is so so angry and my daughter is not old enough to comprehend the gravity of what has happened. I'm trying to be everything to everyone and I feel like I'm drowning. I love my daughter more than anything and I love my husband and all I think about is these two precious lives about to come into the world. She's having a selected c section but as we only found out recently it's total chaos here. I want to support my daughter but I'm very angry too. She knows better. I'm being realistic when I say I know I'll be the main care giver and I'm not that young myself. It's all very overwhelming

Think about what your lifestyle is actually like and buy a travel system that works with that.
Don't buy anything wider than a wheelchair because it won't fit through doors easily, make sure the seats lie totally flat or can take a bassinet.
Make sure it isn't actually too heavy for you to lift and it fits in your boot.

Do you even have a car that will fit everyone in? My dd (17) is also pregnant.. No thought to how everyone else's life is being upended....

How has she received antenatal care, if you didn't know about the pregnancy? The doctor would have contacted you for a pregnant minor surely? Particularly if they're pregnant with twins and intent on keeping the pregnancy.

If not the parents, then at least social services would have to be involved?

I used two bouncy chairs so I could feed them at the same time.
Mine shared a cot for the first few months although I had bought two.

By four months I was nearly broken but once I got them into a routine it was easier.

I'm sure it will be hard but I know lots of older parents which you are effectively going to be, I'm sure in a few years you wouldn't swap the babies for anything.

Hello

I have twins. Your situation is different to mine of course so I’ll only give advice on the practicalities!

buggy - mountain buggy duet with carrycots, look for a second hand one.
car seats - any infant carriers are great, you might want ones that clip onto the buggy

twin essentials were definitely the Asda twin pillow!! It made it possible for me to bottle feed both at the same time and also was a place to dock them.

sleeping - many people sleep twins in the same cot, it can work for a while in a bigger cot but mine needed their own by 3months old. Travel cots or next to mes are good for while their in parents room.

feeding - I bottle fed and the perfect prep was a godsend. I had two, one upstairs and one down.

general - everyone says twins are horrendous, but if you get them on a good routine it’s very manageable! try not to panic.

any twin questions, I’m here!

Twin mum.

Get a used Out n About Double Nipper or Baby Jogger double, both as narrow as can be and fine for newborns. And absolutely bombproof.

Contact Homestart for support once they are here.

Get a book like "What to do when you're expecting two" or "Twins and Multiples" so you all have a sense of the challenges.

It's hard hard going, even when you're an adult in a secure relationship.

She hid a twin pregnancy for six months without anyone noticing? That's...unusual.

She didn't tell anyone until 2 weeks ago. It's absolute chaos here. She'll be 16 in January. X

You need to have a frank discussion with her that these are HER babies and she will be doing the night feeds, nappy changes etc and thinking about childcare options for school. With her being so young, hopefully you’ll get some help with childcare.

I have twins and it’s difficult enough as an adult who is financially stable with a supportive DH.

You might want to contact social services yourself before they get in touch.

She didn't tell anyone until 2 weeks ago. It's absolute chaos here. She'll be 16 in January. X

Sorry, I’m probably being a bit thick, long time since we had ours. How does she know she’s expecting twins if she hasn’t told anyone and not had antenatal care?

OP child care support is available to teenage parents to enable them to continue their education. You don't need to become the primary carer for the babies. I suggest your daughter applies for Care to Learn when she is ready to go back to education
https://www.gov.uk/care-to-learn/eligibility
Also she should investigate what other support is available. She may be eligible for universal credit when she is 16 ,and also a maternity grant.

I’m assuming in those 2 weeks since she’s told everyone that she has started antenatal care and has had a scan.

If she’s too young to comprehend the gravity of her situation then she certainly shouldn’t be even thinking of keeping them. I’m sorry she’s put you in this position.

I have twins. The first year was a blur, and that was with two of us looking after them. I can only advise that you get some help - when DH was at work I used to get my neighbour's DDs to watch them while I took the dog out for a 20-minute break!

Excuse me? I

Excuse you for what? What didn't you understand about my post?

Another twin mum here, it's no walk in the park but to be honest I found the newborn stage easiest.

I second a double pillow from asda.

The 2 bouncy chairs were the only thing I bought 2 of

I got a double pram off Facebook marketplace for next to nothing which was amazing.... to be honest, get everything from marketplace, carseats and mattresses are the only thing you need brand new

Had babies in a next to me cot for 6 months then moved into one bigger cot till they started annoying each other (which I got for free from marketplace)

Tommee tippee machine is a big help

Just baby grows and sleepsuits to start as no point getting them changed into anything else

Get your daughter (or yourself) onto some twin mum chats on Facebook. I'm on a WhatsApp group which is amazing.

It's easy to give advice on the 'stuff' and you can get alot of stuff without spending alot of money. The thing you can't help with is the pregnancy and birth but make sure your daughter is well informed on her choices

Best of luck to you

That must have been a shock for all of you.

The Twins Trust could be a good place to start for practical support for multiples.

Kathryn Stagg on Instagram is a font of knowledge on twins and multiples. Including breastfeeding twins if that’s something she wants to explore. Often young mums are discouraged from even thinking about breastfeeding, but it could be something she is able to do / wants to do. Colostrum alone would be worth talking about.

you could also look at some 1:1 antenatal classes for you all (DM me if you want details of some providers) she is likely to have a Caesarian birth, but that’s a huge operation and she deserves to be fully informed of what’s going to happen.

Contact Twins Trust (used to be Twins and Multiple Birth Association). They will offer lots of advice and could point you towards local support.