Newborn twins

[Mackenzie2009]

Hi all
We've just found out our young daughter is expecting twins. To say this has comr as a shock is an understatement. She's only 15 nd my husband is furious. Our daughter is insistent that she wants to keep them and continue her education so I imagine that I will be the main caregiver for a few years and Imstumbling at the first hurdle. Where do I get a pram and travel system for two very tiny newborns. We really don't have a lot of money and I'm starting to get scared about the cost of everything. Any help will be immensely helpful.

So definitely a minority then!

If nobody has suggested it already, look for local baby and toddler buying/selling groups on Facebook. The ones I’m in have constant requests from people in need looking for cheap/free baby items and they are usually well responded to - I expect you’d receive a positive response if you could find a group and you can explain the situation.

I’m pretty sure the government pays for nursery for teen mums to encourage them to stay in education. If that’s the case, at least it gives the option of OP still working too.

Actually you are being facetious and utterly disingenuous. If it’s the luck of gave draw, why bother using contraception at all?

Exactly, because smart kids know perfectly well that using contraception stacks the odds in your favour.
This young woman didn’t use contraception - we know that from her actions. A kid who got caught out would have spoken up earlier. In effect, this is a planned pregnancy.

Minimizing this does no one any favours. She has made a set of unilateral choices that OP and her DH will have to live with. She has made a set of unilateral choices she cannot comprehend, and in terms of the impact on her parents, aren’t actually hers to make.

When you say “DD might be able to parent independently in a few years” that actually blithely assumes OP should bridge the gap, and that it’s such a tiny little thing she couldn’t possibly object. And that’s best case scenario. It’s much more likely that OP will be doing the hard yards into their teenage years.

OP has your daughter told you who the father of the babies is?
Will there be any help on offer from his family when they are born?

I don't think you can say that at all from what op has said. She doesn't give any detail about it.

Could have been a one off with a boy who used a condom that slipped off because he didn't know how to use it properly or choose the right product.

Either way, it doesn't help op to speculate. You can't turn back time.

Wow, that is a huge shock.

My twins are at university now but the first year is a blur; having twins is hard work. It's exhausting, it's an emotional roller coaster & it's physically & mentally demanding.
I'm in my 50s now and could not look after twins now - it would finish me off.

I get the anger towards your daughter, it seems a terrible position to be in when there are multiple birth control options available.

Where's the father in all this? and his family? They need to be part of the solution.
Discussions need to start with the parents on how they are going to bring up their children.

You work. You need to work tknoay the mortgage, the bills and build up you pension & savings pots at this point in your life.
Think long & hard before giving this up for your grandchildren.

There's some advice on what help might be available to a teenage mother here OP.

I think you need to be really clear with her on what support and help you're willing to provide.

A friends 15 year old is currently pregnant (not with twins admittedly) but she could have absolutely hidden it visually until around 7 months when she just popped out.

why was a reply suggesting termination deleted? obv she should terminate.

I hope she’s ok, I have twins are they are a blessing. Yes it’s tricky at times, but amazing

I hope she is feeling ok

She is six months pregnant the dc are arriving.

At 6 months?

I imagine because terminating at this stage would be illegal.

Even smart teenagers do stupid things and make bad choices with their impulsive, immature teenager brains It’s done now and the only thing the OP can do is help her DD deal with it whatever route they go down.

OP hasn’t said if her DD was in a relationship, whether it was a one night thing at a party with drink involved, or if she was coerced. I’d be wanting to get the bottom of that pronto.

Here on MN meanwhile there was a thread the other day about an poster’s MIL being rude about her 13 year old having a boyfriend with a large consensus saying that it was probably just holding hands and pecks on the cheek and totally fine!

That poor girl, she must be terrified 💐

I understand why her dad would be so angry but that’s not helping anyone and right now you all need to just suck it up and find a solution.

I assume you and your DH both work?
How are you going to physically have the time to look after them?

As PPs have suggested, ask on Facebook market place and Freecycle etc for things.
Many people would be happy to give these for free or cheap.

Encourage your DD to stay in education and then get a good job.

Speak to the midwife about any home help or grants she might be able to get.

The school also needs to be aware and ask for flexibility when it comes to going to class and sitting her GCSEs etc.

I’m sure SS will be involved who can also provide you with guidance.

I hope this is true as it will take a lot of pressure off everyone.

If you have 5 children ( think you said that?) then you are coming from a very different point of view from most people.

Apologies @Demelzandross it wasn't you!

If you have Facebook ‘Twins UK support group’ really helped me with lots of helpful suggestions on prams etc 🌺

I doubt that very much 😂
A pregnant 15 year old who's kept it a secret for 6 months and expects her schooling to continue as normal whilst her mother raises her babies does not scream responsible mother who is planning to breastfeed.

To be fair, plenty of adults don’t breastfeed twins.

I’m not sure that’s it responsible mothers only that breastfeed, seems a bit mean.

I’m hoping that that’s not what you meant but I’m a very responsible 29 year old woman who couldn’t breast feed my twins. I expressed milk for 9 weeks and then they were formula fed.

Some of the comments on this thread have been shocking, OP I think it’s really admirable as annoyed as you are with your daughter you’re willing to support her and your grandchildren as much as possible.

Obviously 15/16 is not ideal for having a child in any circumstance but there is support available especially from a mother who wants to help. I’m currently expecting twins in my thirties and married and I panicked with twins so I really hope you’re daughter is mentally dealing with this, twin pregnancy has been very uncertain for me so I hope she’s keeping up to date with her appointments and scans etc.

Marketplace is amazing, I got the double nipper with newborn inserts on it, I have a travel system which can double from my first baby but I never rated it as there was a lot of faffing getting it in and out of the car. Stock up on the essentials early nappies/babygrows/sleepsuits - Vinted is amazing for this type of thing, car seats and mattresses buy new but as others have said the rest can all be bought on marketplace/charity/thrift shops etc.

Teenage pregnancy is extremely difficult and she will need a hell of a lot of support. I fell pregnant at 18 and had my daughter at 19, my mother didn't speak to me my entire pregnancy as I didn't want to abort and the father assaulted me just before I found out I was pregnant.

I didn't consider the financial, emotional or practical side of it I just thought I'll be having this cute baby and it will all be nice and it was nothing like that. Teenage pregnancy can only have a good outcome with tons of support imo, I also had horrific PND which resulted in multiple suicide attempts and alcohol addiction. It wasn't nice at all. My parents bought the pram and everything else was second hand, clothes from charity shops, I breastfed to save money but found that hard as I never got a break at all. Yes she was Mrs responsibility but I was a single parent at 19 and I needed just an hour to myself but couldn't.

I can't even imagine twins, let alone at 15