D' ya ever wonder if we'll get through in one piece?

[Minisoksmakehardwork]

Morning girls. I've found us a new home

So as we were so nearly finished the thread I did my best to fill it up to completion. I hope you don't mind. I'm hoping you all find your way here too from then links I have sent.

This morning is dull and breezy in minisoks area. We're supposed to be meeting friends (though with no fixed arrangements) and dh is currently snoring his head off in bed. I might be slightly annoyed as my lie in yesterday got cut short with James waking me up to get his kindle and then my parents texting me to come over. I can't really grumble about that as they were bringing Emily her birthday presents but still. I think he's now had enough so I'm not discouraging the noise and thumping up and down stairs. 8 years old! So I now have an 8 year old, a 6 year old and the twins are 4! I can't believe how much they are all changing and growing. Jen does gymnastics, Joshy does toddler football. James is on an under 6's team (I've no idea how that works either) and has been invested in beavers. Emily is loving brownies and hockey, although hockey has finished until September . We're just trying to get some practise in for her so she doesn't completely forget what she's learnt.

Oh, and not forgetting Merlin the magnificent. He's a gorgeous puss, even if the children do love him to torturous degrees - poor kitten hides when he's had enough 'love'.

Enough of me, how the devil are you all?

Glad they are now going to different colleges from September. Finally the are going to be treated entirely on own merits.

4 in one class😱 bubby. We've only 4 sets in our entire (very small) school.

High school is a world away at the moment, although we have to consider options this year for Emily ready for her entering year 6 sept 2018. I'm not ready for that yet!!

What are they going to be doing at college?

shabbs thinking of you today and wishing you fond, gentle memories of G.

Jen and josh are going to be doing their fist gymnastics competition. Aaaargh!

The competition went... well! I expected Jen to do worse than josh as she was bouncing round like a loon and hadn't practised at all. While both of them passed their proficiency, Jen was the one who walked away with bronze for 3rd place, although I can't remember now if that was for floor or vault . There were a lot in their group too.

Josh ended up being given the wrong proficiency award too so I shall have to find out what's happened there. He got the one he was originally going to be doing, but they had changed it last minute. Poor boy stood there looking confused while all his cohort got their certificates and he didn't. Head coach had to run out and get him one!

So here I am, thought I would show my face, just feel I don't belong here now as mine have all grown up and mainly left home :(

So........apart from aching joints, panic attacks, never sleeping through the night, puffy leg..............I am fine.............ish.

My biggest worry atm is Harry. Still in remission from stage 4 bowel cancer, 6th year ............but his Parkinsons is showing more and more signs, especially facial ones and his swallowing, its awful and sad. On top of all that he had to see a podiatric surgeon three weeks ago, he has a bunion on his left foot and his 3rd toe has been infected on and off for 3 months. He has had antibiotics, been to see a private chiropodist who said there was a corn on the toe causing the infection so she was treating it. He then developed a lot of pain so finally got an appointment to see the surgeon. The result was he had his toe amputated last Mon, it was such a shock. The infection had gone into the bone. He goes back to the hospital tomorrow to have the dressing changed, we have not seen what it looks like yet :( I am worried if it will affect his balance even more as its not good now with the Parkinsons.

Kids are fine, Rebecca back at uni..........never contacts us and never answers her phone, living in her own bubble. Thomas still in Germany with the Army, off to Cyprus this week on an exercise, just back from Hungary. James still home working zero contract at the cruise terminal in Dover, he is my rock atm.

Not been away, seem to be permanently broke, have to sub Rebecca at uni............I am going to need to find a job at this rate.........haven't worked since 1978 the year I got married! Where has the time gone to........it seems to fly.

I think of you all often, all the laughs we used to share, Mars, Fg, HM, Shabs, well you all know who you are.............and who could forget Momma..........well me actually, what was her name?

Love to you all...........could someone put the trolley back for me when you have finished? Love, Trips xx

Hiya Trips. Bloody hell love......after reading your post the words 'aint life grand' sprung to mind. ((Opens a bag of cheese and onion crisps, butters some bread and makes Trips a big crisp butty))

Christ I could just kill for a crisp butty............had such an exciting day.......3 hours to clean my cooker, changed 3 beds, pile of ironing then hospital appointment at the lymphedema clinic..........yep as my awd mucker says "aint life grand" x

So where is everyone? Life here is much the same.......well there has been a drama which has stressed me no end. Rebecca and her boyfriend of 2 years have split up. They have been sharing a house at uni, he is autistic and became very jealous of her going out with two of the other girls, accused her of all sorts of unfair things and lost it completely by threatening to kill her and himself, kicking her bedroom door in at 5am etc. One of the others called 999 and he was taken away and sectioned. He is now back home in Kent, we are going down this Sunday to see her. All this has triggered off an attack of ibs, though anything going on inside me now sends me into a panic incase the cancer is back. Dh still recovering from his foot surgery, he has also got his annual ct scan coming up for his cancer, also now having speech therapy for his Parkinsons! James is at home, now out of work, he was working at the cruise ship terminal and the season has finished until March. So no money coming in. If I felt fitter I would look for a job, be nice to get out and do something and could do with the extra cash, trying not to think about Christmas looming up! Thought life would be easier at our age...........what happened? x

Hi all, we all seem to have drifted off. Life continues here, both boys now at college and have blossomed. They started to hate High School, and thso last few terms were a nightmare. However, they got good results for the GCSEs, despite the horrible new exam format and the unforgivable mistakes in the exam papers. James has displayed a real talent for patisserie, and has been entered for 2 national competitions, one of which is being judged by the judges on Bake off Creme de la Creme.Mike has also just been told he has got a distinction for his first completed project in Game Graphic Design. Proud mum her😆. Getting them to and from college is, however, a nightmare. James has a moped, but of course, we paid for that, the gear and the insurance. Mike goes by bus (his hypotonia made him really too unsafe for a moped, as his balance is not great) but we have to dive him to the nearest town to catch the bus, and the fares work out at about £45 a week😕. So I see where you are coming from about being short of cashTrips.DH has been diagnosed with PTSD, and is finally getting the help he needs from the Mental Health team, after struggling for as long as I've known him. And me, well, I'm continuing. Been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis like my mum, and now have a blue badge for my car, but still trying to work full time. How is everyone else? shabs? ruby? soks?

Hi Bubbs good to see someone on here! Well done your boys, and a pastry chef in the house to boot! Let us know how he gets on. You are right to be proud! £45 for bus fare .......that's an awful lot of money, is there no way you can get help with that? Well it took us 3.5 hours to get down to Chichester today to see Rebecca and 3 hours back........not done my lymphedema much good. She looked well, in fact lovely, much better than when she came home in the summer. Met a couple of her housemates who seemed nice kids...........but the state of the place! I was dying to put my marigolds on and get stuck in...........the food bins.....think they could have crawled out the door..........the sickly smell of incense sticks.........and I swear she still has the same bedding on since she moved in in Sept!! Just out of the blue had a message from ex boyfriends Mum saying could she please have the £66 Rebecca borrowed in Aug as she wanted to buy a skateboard like Dylans. I of course know nothing about this........she hasn't got any money to pay it back, we have just been going through her financial situation today with her, so guess who will have to find it? As Shabs continually says to me "aint life grand Trips" x

Hi trips, I love sprats! Remind me of my childhood . Am really annoyed about the bus fares, the kids now have to be in some kind of further education until they are 18, so I think the bus fare should be subsidised , but no. Mind you the County Council are proposing that all school bus travel should now be paid for rather than free, how the hell that will work I don't know, considering that 70% of kids that go to our local high school are from the outlying villages and are bussed into school. I think the school will end up only half full!
Re Rebecca and the money, can you not get it partially written off considering the money it has already cost trying to calm her down after said boyfriends actions?? And yes re bedding, why do you think they make black sheets - I'm sure they are specially designed for student in digs??!!

Hi Bubbs just spoken to her tonight and she said Dylan bought it for her at the beginning of the holidays, he ordered it online. Its down there in Chichester as he was the one using it but he didn't take it when he left. So I have just had to transfer the 66, cant be doing with anymore stress. My insides are sore and feel nervy if that makes sense, then I worry its the big c back and make myself worse. Logically I should go to the docs, but then I will be scared she will scare my by saying we ought to check it out. I have had this before, always stress related, I need a holiday..................no chance! Waiting for Shabs to win the lottery then we are off to Greece, feeling like Shirley Valentine!!

((Waves feebly)) hiya girls.......everybody ok?

Shabs me awd mucker..........bout time someone turned up. Hows things? Same old same here, stress,stress and more stress........dark mornings and soon dark nights.........I am not a winter person.......love the summer. The only things that give me pleasure in the colder months are stews and dumplings x

Im not bad Trips xx lifes a crock of shite most of the time isn't it?

Oh @triplets. I hope things have calmed down now you’re a bit further on.

We have had drama and disaster too. Although it’s been one of those situations where things have worked out for the best.

Do you remember us all being crammed into a 2 bed terraced house? Well we are no longer. We moved into a lovely 3 bedroom detached house with garage 2 days ago. We have spent about 5 weeks camping out with my inlaws. Kids in one bedroom between bunk bed and blow up mattress (twins top and tailing) and us on a bed of duvets and blankets in the lounge!

Sadly we lost our home after an argument with the mortgage company didn’t go in our favour. We’ve since been told things weren’t done properly but until we are properly moved in and the kids have changed schools I don’t have the headspace to take that on. They evicted us one day when the kids were in school and even a trip to court the next day didn’t get us back in the house.

So we told the children there had been an accident at home and we would be staying with inlaws for a few days - thinking from advice given that we would get the house back the next day. But the judge said there was nothing he could do and that was that. We were homeless.

We spoke the council who could only put us in a b&b for 2 nights followed by a local hostel. We argued that it wouldn’t be suitable for Dh (work wouldn’t appreciate him being homed with ex prisoners being a prison officer) or James - who officially has an adhd diagnosis now. But their hands were tied and so back to the inlaws we went. They have been marvellous and really helped us out of a very deep hole.

We started looking at rental properties after a few days as well, why not. We thought we’d see whether we could rehouse ourselves quicker. To be rehoused via the council they will take a month to work out whether you were made intentionally homeless or not (unlikely in our case as we could prove we had attempted to meet the mortgage company’s demands - which increased every time we said ok, we can do that) and then another month of us bidding on properties before they would even consider us for any of them, then there was no guarantee we wouldn’t then have to wait longer to have a bid accepted. Even though it was likely we would be highest priority just because of how long we have already been registered with the council. There isn’t a list as such, of those bidding it goes priority A (highest/homeless) to D (have suitable accommodation but want to move) by date registered once you’ve been given your priority. So feasibly there could have been people registered longer than 3 years also homeless.

So lovely pil said they would give us the deposit for a rental. We started looking and went to view one - fell in love with it. It just felt right when we walked in and around. Made enquiries and waited for agent to get back to us. Meanwhile we looked at a few others, different towns as we weren’t fussy as long as we liked the look of the house initially. Some were ok, some were just not right at all. Lots were short term lets while they waited for the house to be sold. Eventually agent for the first house came back to say landlord would agree to let to us (although we have had to rehome our gorgeous puss Merlin) and finally we were able to collect the keys on Tuesday. Moved the furniture in Wednesday and spent our first night here last night. We currently have no internet or telephone but otherwise we are getting sorted.

We are happier and calmer than we have been in such a long while. I didn’t realise how long I had been just existing for.

Soks ......... sooooooo pleased to hear from you but so sorry you have been having such a horrid time. What an awful worry for you. So glad you have found a new home that you feel right in, couldn't believe what I was reading, poor things. How are the kids, how old are they now? Aww so nice to hear from you.............er did you bring cake? Love Trips xx

Thank you @Triplets. It's not been too bad once we got over the initial shock. Inlaws are fabulous though. The children have rallied surprisingly well. James was hit hardest as he was worrying about losing everything in the house as well so we had to make sure we had a bunch of his trains etc the very next day. Luckily the estate agent was very understanding, even if he did get his wrists slapped for letting us get things out of the house without going through the official channels. And once we had reassured Joshua that we would still have our sofa he was ok. It was quite endearing the things the children did worry about and come out with. They decided we had been flooded which was why we weren't at the house. We didn't correct them but we didn't encourage the lie either, just said we were sorting things out and might get somewhere bigger instead of going back.

We would have preferred to have done things of our own volition, but that is also in part down to me making arrangements which fell through and not telling DH as I didn't want him to worry when I believed I had sorted things. Then a mad panic when people arrived at the door and I realised there really was no going back. Still, we have come the the conclusion it was the kick up the arse we needed.

Jennifer and Joshua are 5, just gone into year 1. Joshua has developed a rolling his eyes habit when he is told/asked something he doesn't like. Jennifer is still her own little flutterbye. twirling and dancing around the house like a fairy! Its utterly adorable. James and Emily are getting on just fine. Emily is heading towards fierce independence. She makes a great cup of tea though, and DH say her coffee is good 2.

Five already! Aw bless them, hope they all settle into their new home and are happy. Everything for a reason. My three will be 20 in January, cant believe it, my Matthew would have been 38 in July. Miss him so very much. Been trying to get hold of my dd down at uni, she has been causing me a lot of stress recently. She and her boyfriend split after 2 years, all got very nasty and now she is spending money she hasn't got, she never checks her bank account so we do periodically otherwise she would be in trouble! She has £45 a week to live on and has been spending twice that, by Christmas she will have no money left and wont get her next student loan until mid Jan. I just don't have it to keep bailing her out! We never stop worrying about them do we? xx

Been 'there' Soks....we were buying our council house, both working and earning good money. 1992....Matts fatal accident...hubby made redundant. Fell behind with the mortgage. Within a few weeks we lost the house and had to go and sit in homeless welfare trying to get somewhere. The baliffs changed our locks and literally threw us out. That day broke my spirit. Im so glad you got somewhere to live, it sounds like a nice place. Hope you will be very happy there xx

Morning , spent ages last night talking to you all as I needed a hug and a chat but the bloody thing wouldn't post! Just feeling horrible atm, had what I pray is ibs for 4 weeks now, finally plucked up the courage and went to see my doctor yesterday and poured everything out to her. She examined me and thankfully said everything felt fine. She believes once again its all caused by stress and she is probably right. As soon as I get upset or worried about something it hits my stomach, I feel so screwed up. Then because I have a sore tummy I panic that the cancer is back already, really panic. I have my 3 monthly check up for that three weeks today. She has given me a months worth of Citalopram just 10mgs to try to take away the anxiety, so reluctantly I have thrown in the towel this time and agreed to try them. She prescribed them years ago when Harry was so ill but I wouldn't take them. My latest worry now is Rebecca, I have had to contact her again over money. To my horror she has spent £291 in 11 days, all supermarket shopping. She just takes her bank card out and spends, never checks her balance. Harry checked her account last night and she now has £159 left until the middle of January which she cannot live on. I could have cried. She said I don't know what I have spent it on, rubbish. I got so upset with her told her its all making me ill with worry. Christmas coming up and unless she can rapidly find a job we are somehow going to have to find her some money. Its not fair and I really do not need this extra stress. A friend said yesterday that we mustn't keep bailing her out, on the other hand we can hardly let her have no money for food. I was going to get her a Tesco gift card but she would probably only blow it as that's what she is doing every day. There is a little Tesco Extra opposite where she lives and some days there are 3/4 transactions on her card. What would you do girls. I really don't know anymore. x

Hi all, I think we all need a mass hug! Soks, it so hard with the house, we are worried here, our mortgage is half repayment, half on endowment, and the endowment is coming up about 25,000 short atm, we are trying to pay extra when we can, but it is due 2019 and we are becoming more and more worried about it all. Luckily we have good equity in the house and good payment history, but we are wondering what to do. Scared of going to mortgage company in case they want us to up our payments to a huge amount, which we will struggle to do.

Trips, you def need a hug too, what is it with these teens and money! James is finally coming to the realisation that if he wants to upgrade his motorcycle he will have to pay this himself, and has actually started applying for jobs at McDonald's etc. Mike want a car, driving lessons, upgrade of his computer, all of which need money, but he keeps prevaricating and going on about how there are no jobs out there he wants to do! I have just said I don't care if he WANTS to do a job, it's that he NEEDS to get a job.😬. Shabbs, what is Tom doing atm? Is he settled and happy??
I have my yearly scan in 4 weeks, fingers crossed all is ok. Rich is finally getting the counselling he needs, but his moods are still very unpredictable. I am relatively ok, my RhA is flaring up at, but I am resisting going on the Disease Altering Drugs as they make me feel so crappie, worse than the pain from the RhA.

Tom was doing his IT admin apprenticeship at our local hospital.....working in the 'thick of things' in A & E. Was promised the job, full time on minimum wage.......the apprenticeship was £3.30 an hour! Passed his apprenticeship with flying colours. They then got a new apprentice and finished Tom....well they offered him 'bank work' but none has materialised. He is searching for any job but struggling. He went to the doctor (not been there for years) and was diagnosed with acute anxiety. So life here is the normal pile of shite!

So sorry to hear that Shabbs, apprenticeship and internship, both often another way of saying low or unpaid labour!
James had been offered a job by a local 4 star restaurant, was told that he could be working up to 25hrs a week on top of his college course, but wouldn't be paid, as it was "great experience and would be paid in knowledge". They were surprised that he turned it down and applied for a job at MacD's! !