D'ya ever wonder how life still carried on like this?

[Kelly1978]

A new thread!
Especially for throckenholt

I was hoping the original one would go to 1000, but it was gettign a but annoying scrolling all the way done, so come over here instead.

How is everyone coping with the school holidays?

I'm fed up with the rubbish weather, as we're stuck in the house too much. I daren't take them to soft play as it packed during the hols and then I can't watch all four of them. Plus it costs a fortune.
Mine are changing so much. Rav is becoming a right wuss, scared of new places. I suppose it shows awareness, but it is annoying when I've driven miles for a nice day out and he just wants to sit and whine because he is too scared to go on anything! Shay is developing his houdini skills, and now has a tendancy to bolt out of parks so I have to watch him like a hawk. I must dig out the reins before we go on holiday.

Oh God. I've obviously been making it even harder on myself. Doh! I didn't realise you could ask HV to come to the house after the first few weeks. Mine said I should "pop along to the clinic" if I needed any advice.
As for the sleeping..we are generally getting bit more than that at night. DTs are feeding every three hours but generally settling well between feeds. Last night was mental, though. They took it in turns to create merry hell. Hence my frazzled state today.

not all will oblige, but ime most will happily come out. my first, and my current one have both been fantastic. the only problems I ever had was when we lived in croydon, where they were clearly very short staffed.

Welcome insomnimum... where are you based?

Ditto to what Kelly said. Let people come to you.

Right... what support have you got in place? This twin business is hard, but there is a lot of joy to be had.

Here's an excellent place for help, tips and advice (as is the whole of MN). TBH... I've found far more help on this thread and this forum than any baby clinic. Lots of them aren't really geared up for twins.

Anyhoo....... as I said... welcome. It does get easier... I'm sure someone said that once upon a daydream lol. What I do when it's too much is thank God it's not triplets... and there are triplet mums on these boards too. We speak of them with reverend tones. For they are to be highly praised and greatly respected.

defintely tell them to come to you - don't bother with the clinic - even single babies always hate being undressed and weighed and doing it with 2 is a nightmare.

You are in the middle of what is called the "twin haze " - I only have a very vague memory of the first few months ! But is does get easier - and you get more confident in what is important and what is not. Babygrows all the way until they can dress themsleves - well almost !

Hi insomnimum and a big welcome. It does definitely get easier. This bit is so hard and my advice echos the others. Mine were in babygrows until they were 6 months, round the clock, changed when sicked on or pooed on. I had lovely clothing gifts but no time to dress them up and oooh and aaahhh. After this crazy bit settles slightly you'll start feeling a little more human.

A helpful HV will definitely come to you. If she won't and you want her to, complain, make a fuss or change surgery. I didn't go to the baby clinics either. Once I got myself there I wasn't allowed to take my buggy past the main doors. The girls on reception were great and would have held a baby but you are fighting the clock with feed times and even waiting to be seen can take ages. With what you managed today you should feel very proud of yourself, and I so wished you'd created merry hell at the "we're not seeing anymore today". These are the same professionals that tell us we must ask for help if we feel we need it!!!!!

Sleep is chronic. I couldn't get mine to feed around the same time day or night and you just feel like you can do nothing else. However, try to be kind to yourself. Tell yourself if you stay in all day it may as well be nice. Mug of tea, packet of biscuits, daytime telly, feed, change, wind, feed, change, wind, snooze if you manage. When you have more energy you can manipulate the schedule a bit to create a showertime! If they can feed together then this will come quicker, Mars always said if one fed, she fed the other, if one needed changed she changed the other.

Try to ride out the crying. Mine cried a lot and didn't just feed and sleep. Sometimes you have to walk away, leaving them both screaming, just to pee, make tea, breathe, cry etc. This is totally fine, it won't hurt them a bit and when they are older won't remember a thing about it.

I had days I felt like I could do anything (used to have one in the double buggy with my dd who was 3, one in a sling and walk like a packhorse a few miles along the road to a gym class for dd. Feed, change, give dd lunch and walk back again. It was heaven to get out, hard, sweaty work but heaven to feel fresh air on my face), then I had other days when I shouted and cried and felt like I was a total failure. Its all normal.

Now you've found us, don't lose us. We're here good or bad. Good luck sweetheart.

Thanks everyone. I'm based in Forest Hill, SE London but have just moved here (another stupid idea, moving house when babies were three weeks old!). As for support, my DH is great, very hands-on, but he is at work all day. I had my mum staying for the first month...was a life-saver but I think it shielded me from the realities of what having twins is like! I do bow with reverence to the triplet mums among you, and for those of you with other kids before DTs.

Hi insomnimum,
I completely agree with the others,who say don't go to the clinic.
I started off going but got really p'ed off at the HV,tutting at how long it took me to get them undressed and dressed(they only wore sleep suits),she would just stand there and watch me,as well as the fact that I couldn't get my pram down their narrow corridor.I did ask if she would come out but she kept missing appointments.
I was happy that my DTs were doing well and just thought,I didn't need the extra hassle.

moving whn they were 3 weeks! I moved when mine were abt 6 mnths and that was bad enough. I think you are slightly mad but are doing wonderfully! Get the Hv sorted out and give yourself a big pat on the back.
forest hill can't be far from croydon? I loved it there.

I agree with others, my HV always came to me for weighing etc, only had to go to the clinic for jabs. For twins 8 week jabs, I got the wrong day, seeing my tearful face the receptionist asked the nurse to do them a day early
My dh drove to work and forgot to get the pushchair out of the car when I asked him. Consequently, I had twins aged 13 months and a two year old son loose in the surgery waiting room, they created mayhem.

I'm sat here drinking wine, cos I cannot be ##*ed to make yet another list in order to pack everything up for another weekend. It is just too much effort

lol, I am drinking vodka and cranberry with pemegrante juice - cheers!

cheers to you, didn't answer before as my conscience got the better of me and I took my wine upstairs to pack

I was thinking only yesterday about the early days with my DTS and I was definately vying to be superwoman of the year and desperately proving to everyone that " yes I am coping ".
WHY?? Ihave no idea .
My 2 were certainly more troublesome if I wasnt relaxed and the more anxious I became the worse they got - surprise surprise.
Yes it does get better and some people even go back for more -CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!
TAMBA were a godsend to me in the early days - have you joined??

Insomnimum.... I have got a couple of clients in South London (I'm a doula). How about emailing me and I'll see what I can arrange and pop down and give you a hand for a day a week for the next few weeks? I honestly don't mind... I just remember that having a friend pop round dinner once a week (there was a rota of friends who did that) saved my life.

My email is lovelymarslady at aol dot com.

It's not a bother at all and as I'll already be down your way I can fit you in. The kids all go back to school on Mon-Wed next week and so my childcare is sorted. Anyhoo... up to you. Let me know.

Those early days are now becoming distant memory.... but we all survived.

I was lucky with my clinic (though maybe it was just that I knew the HV her DDs went to my DC's school lol). I would call up and say can I come over today and she'd say yes and I'd get the clinic all to myself. I was the only one allowed to take my buggy in as well....but that may be because I was the only one there. I "sacked" another of my HV's though. She was insistent that I would have to top up my babies and that I was living in hell because I had 3 other children. Apparently I'm the stuff of legend in my local health authority. lol

Awh, Marslady that is so kind of you. Thanks to everyone else too - it makes such a difference to know that other people have been through all this too.
Marslady, I'll drop you an email later today. I might be OK for next week because my mother is making noises about coming to stay again (she says she misses her grandchildren, but I reckon she just knows I am floundering a bit. Hurrah for mothers). Whatever, I'll let you know.
Typically, my DTs are angel children today. They are sleeping at the mo and I had a whole five hours sleep (good for me!) so all is right with the world again. Mission for today is to join Tamba and hassle my HV.
One more question though (sorry - I'll probably drive you all mad with queries). Although DTs are nearly ten weeks now, they were four weeks premature. Am I expecting too much to want them to go through the night for longer than three hours at a time? They've managed four hours a few times, and five hours on one glorious night, but that was yonks ago and they're back to waking every three hours, practically to the minute.

Yeah I think you're probably wanting too much, but to be honest you seem to be getting a good amount of sleep out them. The sleep will come.

What weights were they?

They were 5lb 5 and 5lb 15, born at 36 weeks.

What nice weights. Mine were born at 36 weeks and were 4lb 5 and 5lb 14.

Don't worry honey, sleep will come and 3hourly is good at the moment, but they will stretch to longer.

Helloooooo everyone!!! I've been birth planning and working, so I banned MN from my PC for a week. So much catching up to do! Feel very sorry for all the pants stuff going on for those who are having a rough time... wish I could do something... and welcome back to everyone back from holiday/pc hell and the like.

But hopefully my latest story will bring a small smile... I've been reading various natural ways of dealing with thrush before going for the very easy pessary that the doc prescribed and which I have yet to pick up from the chemist. One of my natural remedies involves garlic... You can guess what you have to do with it. I didn't believe the article when it said you'd be able to taste it too... The anti-bacterial qualities of garlic kill of Candida albicans which is why it's supposed to work. And I have to say it does kind of work, but it's a bit bizarre when you're walking down the road and realise that it's not quite where you originally put it... Picking up that pessary on Monday!

NK - white patches - I had white patches on my back when I was younger, and I still get them sometimes now - they only came up when I got a tan, and the doc at the time said that it's a fungal skin thing that only normally affects black or asian people, or at least, you can see it better on that skin colour which is why I noticed it when I got a tan. He gave me some cream which got rid of it that year. I still get it occasionally but I don't do anything about it now as it doesn't do any harm. Don't know if it's the same thing, but thought I'd share!

Mars - could I send you a copy of my birth plan to see if you think I'm absolutely crazy???! I'd really appreciate it! Hope your birth went/is going well.

Good to be back! DD

Talking of thrush.. had to take daughter to a chemist this summer in a shop abroad where we didn't speak the language. She had thrush, first time, age 19, embarrassed etc. Her bigger sister teasing her like anything... so we go in there and I write on a piece of paper thrush and couple of the names of products that help it. They give us skin cream. We shake our heads. Her sister says loudly "Vagina"... and the lady hands over the right stuff.

On holidays... our twins have another week of school until 11th. This is week 9 of school holidays.

DD... of course you can send me a copy. lovelymarslady at aol dot com.

Xenia... what a wicked older DD lol!

Nothing going on with my lady. Still she's not actually due until the 11th. I managed to do my study day and to go out to salsa without a call. Now all I need is to get the kids all settled in school preferably before she gives birth. sigh....... why on earth don't babies come according to my timetable. lol

If you don't see me much in the next few days it'll be because I'm putting all the stuff I learned on the study day into my remaining 2 essays. Or I'll be at a birth mumbling about Misogyny in Cymbelline and the Sonnets.

Hi girls. Just wanted to share that I had a most fabulous weekend. Robbie Williams and I had a hot date and I sang and danced my pants off. Heavenly. Still smiling.

Doris the garlic story is hilarious! Really? Up there? Do you peel it and crush it? Fries with that madam?

Xenia, your poor DD. I can imagine how she must have felt. Bet shes glad now though!

Hi Mars, tell your woman the garlic story.....the laughter should help her pop it out!!

FG.... good to hear you happy!

I remember my date with Justin Timberlake. Right in the middle he looked at me and said "Will you be my girlfriend?" Sigh................

OMG Mars.....is Justin Timberlake actually the father of your DTs?.....I know how one thing leads to another....

(don't tell anyone I'm actually having a bit of a life again BUT I'm lucky enough to have another date with Robbie in a couple of weeks!)

ooh fg, you dirty stop out!

Does robbie have any fit friends

dd, thanks for the info. I think I might mention it to a pharmisict next time I am in town, get them to have a look out of it. The dts are mixed race, so it is quite noticeable, esp now they are so tanned. dt1 looks sri lanken now!

dd is back to school today . I will really miss her. She helps a lot, and she is the only dkid I can really have a conversation with. She is thrilled to be back though and it is good for her to be back with her peers rather than 3 snotty toddlers! ds goes back tomorrow, and tbh I will be relieved! He is hard work, and I need a break, and school also brings out the best in him.

plus, tommorow I pick up dp's family fromt he airport, they are back from 3 mnths in US. DT free days should be here again soon!

I still haven't caught up on the laundry. the humidity in spain meant that the washing reeked of damp, so I had loads to do when I got back, and I simply cannot get on top of it. Plus the lawn needs mowing, etc, etc. But, on a positive note I scored 87% in my last tma! I was totally as it was a bti of a rush job before the hol.