The under/over/around 1 Twins thread for support, tips on how to survive and enjoy twin parenthood!

[DreamingOfPeace]

BB3: dcda non id girls Sept 2011 (plus ds)
TwelveLeggedWalk: DCDA DD and DS 14.09.11 (PFBs)
Tiggersreturn twin boys (?!) (plus ds age 5)
Wherearemyearplugs twins (plus ds)
Ceeveebee b/g twins 21.11.11, PFBs
minesapintofwine: non-id boys 02/02/2012. dcs 1&2/pfb on good days.
ClaireMarathonFeeder: Boy/girl twins born 08/02/2012, no3&4, dd1 (2001) and dd2 (2004)
rednellie nonID boys 13.03.2012 + DD 03.02.10
Lemele: id boys (plus ds)
Skitoo : DCDA Non ID Boys, 01.04.12 DC 1&2
DreamingofPeace: dcda non id boys, 4.4.12 DC 2&3 (DD Sept 2010)
beyoglu: dcda non id girls 21.4.12
Bigboobsatlast ID twin boys 30.04.12 DC #2&3 (DD Feb 2010)
Scollister mcda girls 3.5.12 plus DD age 4
Twin2makes4 mcda girls plus 2 ds,age 8 & 4

Again, sorry for mistakes, doing this from my phone!

Settle in ladies :)

Ooh, think twelve has bronchiolitis, child-in-hospital experience, maybe she has some words of wisdom?

Ouch bigboobs, sounds horrid :( Chickenpox has being going round here but we've missed it so far (I think, all 3 kids have been a bit off here and there but not constant so I can't really decide if it's anything) which is a blessing as we are moving on friday! Not looking forward to the process at all but we're sacrificing having central heating put in in favour of electric heaters and being able to have removers do EVERYTHING. So hopefully we'll be ok! I am sooo looking forward to the babies being able to have their own cots at last. They are getting so squashed and are obviously pretty uncomfy at times. The night before last T2 slept through till 6:50am - unheard of - and he had the cot to himself coz T1 was in our bed from 12:30pm.

Hope everyone is ok, sorry for lack of personals, have v little time/energy to read this these days :( However only 3 days to go and it'll be new beginnings... :)

bigboobs Hope everything is ok and you?re all back home together soon.
red Bad news with the porridge. Ouch! Hope the hives cleared up quickly.
lemele T2's sleep through sounds like just the job - fingers crossed for many more of those!
These two are sitting up and having a play as I type. Seems like a good time to try and get online and do some bits. For anyone with older babies, when did yours start to crawl? These roll, wriggle and generally get around but no crawling yet. Maybe I should be making the most of them not going too far in different directions yet!

oh bigboobs poor you, hope things are better now, but sorry no experience or knowledge of bronchiolitis..

lemele goodm luck with the move, paying the removal co to do everything is a smart move!! We did this 2 months ago and was well worth it. wish they could have unpacked too!!

spartacus yes enjoy the limited mobility while it lasts, dtb started crawling in earnest last week at 9 months, and now gets everywhere! dtg luckily is only commando crawling but mostly she's happy sitting with her toys bless her... we have acquired a huge babycage playpen for when I just have to do stuff but they are only happy in there for like 10-15 mins at a time...

now I ahve a question, are any of yours jealous of each other? My too, but especially dtb, rush off to me as soon as I pick one up, or give him/her a cuddle. This morning we had them both in bed with us, and we kept swapping babies because as soon as I passed one to dh they would start whingeing . I always assumed they'd be so used to sharing me taht wouldn't be an issue???

Still not much sleep here, especially dtb (him again!!) keeps waking up every 1-2 hours, I gave in and let him sleep with us, but then feel guilty towards dtg aargh. As for her, she still feeds to sleep, but last night she woke 3 hours after going to bed and wouldn't settle again, so in the end I put her on my bed next to me and eventually she dozed off. Not sure I can call that self settling though!!

hope everyone else is fine!

Hello all, sorry been ages.
Hi to the newbies and congrats!
Claire pass me that feeling-inadequate-guilty-hat will you? Had the night from hell last night, and DH is away, sob?
Nancy hope the feeding is going well. It is bloody hard work. I mixed fed for lots of reasons, and it was easier on some levels - dh could take one etc, but much harder on others (bloody bottle washing, bane of my life, for starters!) and I remember a few months in wondering if I could crank my supply up to ebf as I was so fed up. So I guess what I'm saying is that there are pros and cons to both options, and it's not worth beating yourself up about it. I am in awe of Dreaming's perseverance though!
Mines how's the start back at work been?

BigBoobs So sorry to hear Dt1 has bronchiolitus. DD had it this summer (bizarrely - it was DS who was ventilated so we always thought any chest infections would hit him in the winter, and she managed to get it in July?!) Dd has always been quite wheezy, and I wasn't too worried about it, but she got a bit of a cold and it got a bit worse so we took her into hospital to get checked out, they gave some 02, and sent us home again. A couple of days later she started refusing milk so we went back and ended up being admitted for nearly a week - poor girl was exhausted and they kept coming in to do obs on her in the night, her SATS were really low at night but then she was active and perky during the day. They did a chest x-ray which was fine, tested for RSV which came back clear, and basically it baffled them a bit - by ward rounds time she was bouncing in her high chair then at night she'd regress again. Appetite dropped right down though, and she'd only tolerate very very smooth foods for quite a while. In the end she just picked up by herself and we came home with a Ventolin inhaler which we use if she ever starts sounding raspy or beginnings of a cold again. It's horrible, but once they shake it off they perk back up remarkably quickly. The only thing I would say is be pushy with the staff - because they didn't quite know what to do with DD we got ignored during the day (which meant I was pretty much stuck in the room as DH was either at work or looking after DS), and then at night they were in every 2 seconds and I did have to pretty much throw them out and say I'd keep the 02 near her so she could rest. Presume you've got a pull out bed next to theirs? Just nap when they nap so you're not too exhausted when its time to come home. Hope things are improving.

Hey all. So things have changed a bit here - I've been offered a job and it's part time from home. Its also very cool.

But I think I need a nanny because it's all very flexible and I'm still .bf the boys so...those with nannies what the hell do you ask them at interview? I'm rubbish at this kind of thing!

Mines have you started work yet or is it neXT9 week?

Have I killed the thread?

Hello rednellie it's very quiet here!

Sorry no advice about choosing a nanny, but well done on your new job! CanI be nosy and ask whatare you going to do?

No news here, except that dtg is the girl that doesn't nap, 30mins between 7ish am and 7.45pm! and she's not even grumpy!!

twelve no inadequate mother hat but have this : !
abd have one for me too as I'm stillbreastfeeding

hope dt1 is getting better bigboobs and you are getting some help!

rednellie, we asked more around previous jobs, to get a feel for them (only met two and employed the second one) , what their take on bad behaviour/ discipline was, what they'd expect to be doing with the dc... Very informal though. Good luck & I can't wait to hear what you'll be doing

I've got DD with 2 days of unexplained limp, ? transient synovitis, DT1 with a temperature and grizzly and DT2 with no identifiable problem, grizzliest. Marvellous...

hey all, to
boobs - hope your dt1 is getting better, sounds like you're having a really tough time.

congrats on the job red
thanks for thoughts on feeding twelve, i'm giving them a bottle of ebm or formula on an evening to hopefully get them to sleep a little more - although can't say it helped last night!! v similar to your night, claire!

don't think my dp has quite understood that he is as responsible for the dts as I am. Seems to think he is being nice and really helpful if i ask him to help me during the night with dtg (while i feed dtb) who has reflux probs, ,needs burping, keeping upright for a long time etc (which i rarely do). he never really acknowledges how knackered i must be and will happily lie in bed all morning at the weekend unless i drag him out. yesterday morning i got him up at 7 becasue dtg needed burping and dtb needed to feed and when he was done he said right i'm going back to bed for an hour! (he doesn't leave house til 9) bearing in mind that i had told him i had only slept about three hours and he had slept seven, i felt like he could have said to me 'why don't you get an hour's sleep in and i'll take the dts' but he NEVER does and i'd quite like to kill him! i have told him this but he just says 'stop critisicing me all the time'. I don't think he has quite got the fact that our life has majorly changed and he can't still live like a student! grrrrrrrrrrr. rant over! He's still in bed now obvs.

(when i said 'which i rarely do', i meant 'i rarely wake dp during the night' NOT ' i rarely burp or keep dtg upright'!! lol

Crikey Nancy, don't be standing for that. Twins require massive team effort, no way should he be going back to bed unless you get to the next day. Get firm!

Hi nancy i think some men are a bit slow on realising how much life changes with one baby, never mind two! Dh was a bit like that with no1, now with no3&4 is a star! (I nearly fainted when he changed a nappy without being asked!!)

Now you do not want to wait to get to 4dcs () so my advice is to really spell it out to him, without nagging, but say "I had a really bad night, I'm going bzck to bed call me if they need feeding" or something like that!

Alternatively "leave the bastard!"

(Sorry I couldnt help it)

Up 10pm to 4am with poor boiling DT1... Then he slept til 5:30, then dozed on me til 6:30... Groan. He's grotty.

Nancy, I agree,

oh god, poor you dream (and poor dt1!) Hope he's feeling better. Am yet to experience dt illness - aprt from a cold a couple of weeks ago. not looking forward to it!

thanks for confirming that i am not nagging and that dp is a lazy arse. spoke to him again (cried this time so think he realised was serious). Initally he tried to turn it back on me saying i was nagging etc, he didn't aplogise or acknowledge my difficulties but an hour later he took dts out in the buggy so i could have a rest (without being asked) and he got up twice in the night to burp dtg without being asked. he also asked if i was ok which is rare. So i think he may be starting to get the message but doesnt want to admit it.....progress at least!

so claire, i'm gonna have to have more children for him to realise he's a dad!? argggg i was hoping to stop at dts.....

Yeah, Nancy, I'd be tempted to explain to him that you are equally parents if yourcchildren therefore you are equally responsible. Especially with bf, you are already saving him lots of work so he should be thankful. I hate this idea that men are somehow doing you a favour if they 'help' with childcare. THEY'RE YOUR CHILDREN TOO! It's like when people say their partner is babysitting, winds me up no end.

My job is something to do with festivals, not particularly glamorous, but very interesting (sad logistics nerd emoticon). Probably means the twins will continue their sisters tradition of attending Glasto from when they're babies...

IL's here. And I'm ill and have to be polite. Ugh. I just find them so hard. They're obsessed with weight and looks and MIL will not stop asking me when I'm stopping nursing the boys. Trouble is I'm so contrary I just end up disagreeing with everything they say...

Hi everyone I been a bit lapse here.

Sorry bigboobs to hear of the illnesses it must be really tough especially without help. Just do what you got to do and the rest can wait. Hugs.

nancy I think it does take a while for men to realise the difference especially if they work as they get a break then. Saying that my dh is a massive help in all things dt related and a really great dad the fun never stops whereas I never have time to have bloody fun on account of all the cleaning etc, but he has always been useless at nighttime. My dts had reflux too and would be up all night screaming I kid you not dh would sleep through it and me nagging him to get up! One evening I timed it right when the dts were about 5 weeks old. They were sleeping and we sat down to have a nice meal I just laid cards out how tired I was and demanded more help at night and he really came through took dts for regular nights plus has got up every night since. However...Friday gone dt2 was up with teething for 3 hours plus early Saturday am and dh said at the start of the screaming he was off to bed! . I wore it well and decided that maybe he needed reminding so did that the next day and he did the up all night and early start today. What I'm saying is my dts are 9 months now and leopards (dh) don't change their spots but if you insist on it regularly (my dh calls it nagging) they will try and it has to happen for your own health! Teamwork.

spartacus yours are 10 months aren't they? Mine are crawling with gusto and like claire they don't like to stay in playpen baby traps for long so am babyproofing the life out of my home. But I was talking to someone the other day who's 10 month old isn't on the move at all and she was glad! Maybe they'll go straight to walking?

I am back in work now and it's going well (but stopping me from mnetting very often!) apart form pretty bad nights and 5am wake ups with the dts! I like being back but the novelty has worn a bit! Plus I went back on my birthday which really really sucked!

Dt1 has been driving me insane in the afternoons he has been so grumpy and is crying even in pushchair and car and then falls asleep. I have tried everything even reintroducing the pm bottle which he previously dropped but nothing is working and he has dropped bottle again anyway. I ended up taking him to docs as he was rubbing his ear all the time but apart from it being a bit pink and him being the happiest baby in town (with a shamming mum) she found nothing and said he's teething give him calpol. Well I know that and I'm doing that but really was hoping for a full nights sleep and a happy baby in the pm! I had that the same day btw. It's back again now though plus dt2 is cross so I'm glad for the full day in work tomorrow! (I am joking-a little).

This is getting a bit long.

Just one more thing beyou how are your nights going?

Hi mines! back to the land of the living, eh? I'm quite jealous. I wonder if your DTs are going through the 9 month wonder week? I'm told it's fairly full on...

Nights are going pretty well - DT1 has a feed at 11 and other than that we hear nothing from her from half 7 till 7am. DT2 is waking at 11 and 4 at the moment - I tried everything non-food that I could think of to settle her back at 4, but nothing doing, and so last night she had a bottle and went straight back to sleep after it. So we'll have that for now and I'll maybe try weaning it in a few weeks. I'd rather get up and get a bottle than listen to her moaning for 30 minutes I think!

nancy if you can get your DH to accept in principle that he needs to do some of the work, then what might be useful is agreeing in advance what you want him to do? e.g. we've always worked it that DH does the weekend nights and I do the weekday (and when he's on holiday we split them). I know that doesn't work for everyone but you get the idea. I don't have to persuade him each time this way!

Hi everyone.

Red - congratulations on the job! And good luck with the ILs. Re hiring a nanny: I found when I was interviewing for someone to look after my daughter that it was helpful to think about what's important to me as a parent (getting veg down my daughter at very meal, avoiding gender stereotypes as far as possible) and also to be honest about the things I don't do much of (crafts) and talk about those to see if the nanny got where I was coming from. I went through two in quick succession (both from same agency, and Inwas desperate so gave them both a shot despite misgivings) before I found someone great, through personal recommendation - so I' say it's worth asking around.

Nancy - good luck with getting more support. Well done for being firm. I

I've had the boys back for three weeks now, an the ILs have just gone free being here for two. I am tired because DH can't sleep in the same room as the boys so I'm on duty all night and they are quite gassy and uncomfortable. Today I am implementing SWMNBN, ruthlessly. I also have some medicine - trimebutine - for the wind. After a very long night last night I am hanging on for 7pm when I can collapse into bed as te boys do (in the spare room, so I may actually sleep! I'll move back in with them around midnight.)

The boys are doing well. They are getting better at feeding. They had MRI scans on their brains which are normal for term, and although both need hernia operations in about a month (Christmas!) apparently these are fairly routine. I have appointments with their pediatrician every two weeks through winter for various injections so the medical surveillance is still in full swing, but it's so much better to have them home. I feel like I'm finally starting to get to know them - only 3 months after they were born.

Congratulations there and hello! How old are your DTs (corrected and actual) - they're full term now?

I just had to google SWMNBN :) I have a grudging respect for her - I sort of felt my way along with the routine and my two have naturally fallen into the routine she describes except that they're always one chapter of her book behind!

Ach pressed post too fast there. I meant to say, I wish I'd been a bit more routine-focued when the people were really little, maybe could have saved all of us a lot of heartache. We never really got naps sorted out till they were about 20 weeks old. Once I'm going to look back through my posts on here and see exactly how clueless I was/am!

Thanks for the advice there and great news on having your boys home.

I think you always sound really with it beyoglu! Most of the best parenting is instinctive/stabbing in the dark.

Gah MIL asked me for the 500th time when I'd be stopping bf. I told her when the boys went to university.

Something strange happened to my post there - amazingly you seem to have understood it anyway. Yes I think that scheduling naps as well as feeds is the key. The boys are 2 weeks old corrected this week, or 13 weeks actual. I think, anyway - I've lost count. In France term is 41 weeks not 40, which confuses things.

Anyway day 1 seems to have gone well, except I've just woken from a nap to find i've got the start of sinusitis, conjunctivitis and a cold sore coming on. Hurray! Also I had a flu jab yesterday - last time I had a sort of mini-flu reaction so I'm hoping to avoid that tomorrow.