The under/over/around 1 Twins thread for support, tips on how to survive and enjoy twin parenthood!

[DreamingOfPeace]

BB3: dcda non id girls Sept 2011 (plus ds)
TwelveLeggedWalk: DCDA DD and DS 14.09.11 (PFBs)
Tiggersreturn twin boys (?!) (plus ds age 5)
Wherearemyearplugs twins (plus ds)
Ceeveebee b/g twins 21.11.11, PFBs
minesapintofwine: non-id boys 02/02/2012. dcs 1&2/pfb on good days.
ClaireMarathonFeeder: Boy/girl twins born 08/02/2012, no3&4, dd1 (2001) and dd2 (2004)
rednellie nonID boys 13.03.2012 + DD 03.02.10
Lemele: id boys (plus ds)
Skitoo : DCDA Non ID Boys, 01.04.12 DC 1&2
DreamingofPeace: dcda non id boys, 4.4.12 DC 2&3 (DD Sept 2010)
beyoglu: dcda non id girls 21.4.12
Bigboobsatlast ID twin boys 30.04.12 DC #2&3 (DD Feb 2010)
Scollister mcda girls 3.5.12 plus DD age 4
Twin2makes4 mcda girls plus 2 ds,age 8 & 4

Again, sorry for mistakes, doing this from my phone!

Settle in ladies :)

[skitoo]

God took me so long to finish that post that I missed those fromDream and Lemele.

[DreamingOfPeace]

lemele, I'm already feeding DT1 again so reading/ posting then (/now!). I'm always feeding!!! So clearly missing the 9:30 feed was a one off but I'll settle for easier settling in the evening if that lasts- for now anyway.

And yes to meltdowns, frequently. I think of how lovely it'll be when they're 2 ish quite a lot too. I can't help picturing them running round and,playing with DD.

Were yours 33 weekers skitoo? A bit of baby chub is delicious :) . I'm glad my scrawny twin 2 has filled out a bit. And he was 5lb 10 to begin with so not tiny!

twelve, the thought of solo nights with my three gives me the heebie jeebies . Brownie points indeed. And I'm glad you said it about lots of bits noone can enjoy. Very true I think.

[baileyslover]

Hiya.DTrips are doing well, on 3hrly tube feeding and they are starting to show signs of rooting when awake. There has even been a quiet muttering of rooming in, but don't expect talk of taking them home for another week or so.
I feel like a milking cow as I am spending so much time attached to a pump, but levels are slowly getting there.
DS1 is driving me slightly potty as he has decided to take my recent absence to signal time for rebellion. Bed times are a battle and everything is met with a resolute NO. Trying to do rapid return 5d post csection is not to be recommended!
I have also discovered how much I need my independence. Mum is staying to sort DS out, and I know she is trying her best but I could scream. Don't know how I am going to cope when all the babies are home and I am even more sleep deprived than currently. I feel bad but just want to explode :(

[TwelveLeggedWalk]

Bailey that's all so amazing, I'm blown away by how well you're all doing. And pumping too! Mine were in for 7 weeks and honestly,I've just blotted out the milk machine bits! I don't want to be the voice of s

[TwelveLeggedWalk]

Stupid phone!

Voice of doom sorry, but I did find I ran in adrenaline for a while then kind of crashed through exhaustion, and with triplets plus older dc I can't even begin to imagine how tired you'll get. Just watch out for it and be kind to yourself really, but you sound so sorted I'm sure you'll be fine!

[baileyslover]

twelve I hear you! Trying to do the absolute minimum to help the section recovery, but it is sooo hard as I am used to being independent.

[minesapintofwine]

lemele I was wondering the same thing (how everyone has the time and energy...mainly the time) Im finding it hard to keep up! baileys it's good advice to take as much help as possible especially with an older dc but that's also haelpful to you as you know about babies! I can't speak for anyone else but I recovered really really quick from a c-section much quicker than I though I would.

beyou everyone here feels exactly the same as you and I find it reassuring to know that! It is very very hard and exhausting. I have been looking forward to going back to work since the dts were born and I still am...only another 3 months to go! As well as babies being so tiring and such hard work I miss adult conversation, focusing on something else other than trying to get a baby to sleep, and having a bit of structure (i.e, working on certain days, HAVE to leave house by this time etc). It helps I'm likely to be going back part time. I know I'll be complaining about work within the week though!

ceevee I would get some more babysitting in before you return to work so as to get used to some time without them, and them you!

twelve you always have some good advice loved the bit about there are good bits and bad bits (or something! Thats wrong I know)

DH having check up on Friday to see how leg is.

Have to go dt1 awake after half a sodding hour!

[bigboobsatlast]

wrote a post and its bloody disappeared!
Dream, 24 hours in Gavison for DT1 and definitely less screaming / sobbing / coughing (hope I have not jinxed it). Not better by any means, but some improvement. I will persevere with the Gavison and let you know what happens. Last night (when screaming is worse) there was hardly any and he did not wake until 4.45am!!! (usually about 1 am, after milk at bed at about 8.30pm) and then he slet till 8am!! Unheard of - we are always up at about 6.30am. Probably a one off and just a coincidence.... we shall see. Trying not to get my hopes up for tonight and failing

Baileys I think we would all say accept an help you are offered BUT it is hard sharing your home and family - and those that offer help don't always deliver IME...eg holding a baby while you slave in the kitchen cookng the 'helper' dinner . Just be as honest as you can about the help you need and what is not helpful.

How are you feeling today Beyoglu? Managed to get some good rest? I have had a really hard few days as been exhausted - but today is a good day after a good nights sleep - makes all the difference doesn't it.

Thanks for support re DSis and good to hear I am not the only one to feel this way :( I just re-read a letter I wrote to her son (my nephew), as if it had come from my DD - saying she can't wait to meet his (he is a baby), get to know him and spend lots of time with him while they are here for the summer etc etc...she has seen him once :( :( Really does make me so sad, and angry to be honest. Its like two fingers up to me and my lovely lovely DCs that she can't be arsed to get to know :( Oh well.

Minesa - I know what you mean about a routine and adult company - but I think I would still not go back to work I could afford not too, but DCs would still go to nursery!! so only a lottery win will do it!!! I am definitely going back to work and I know from going back after DD that I dreaded it but after a couple of weeks I likes being back and having some more structure to my life - and a break from babies if I am honest.

CVB are you going back to work and did you manage to get PT hours??

Hello to every one else BB3, Clare, Twin2, Twelve, Skitoo and Lemele and anyone else I have missed. I have managed to make time to post but only in a real rush so sorry if I have missed things.

[TwelveLeggedWalk]

Ok, stupid question time: how do you all manage lunch when you're out of the house with the Dts alone? I've only done it a couple of times and would feed them solids in their buggy, then get myself a sandwich or something to eat on the move. But now they're 11mnths now so should sit at high chairs - no bother I thought, we'll go to ikea on out next trip to the city because I know they can handle ikea high chairs. But then I realises it's self service and I'd have a double buggy... Same issue with M&s or anywhere else I might be brave enough to go in... Anyone done it with success?

[BB3]

Hello on phone on train so will remember as much as possible!

Hey baileys - people in your house is hard, my advice is talk to them each morning about what you need help with so that they are clear about what you want them to do and then it's just biting your Tongue when they inevitably get under your feet! The babies are doing so well already - just amazing!

Dream yay for feeding, hopefully it will help settle them

Lol t egg yolk I would have done the same!
Re weigh bearing, will she stand against the sofa or something supporting herself? I wouldnt worrytoo much now but would mention it to hv/dr so they keep an eye on it

Red - happy holidays - ds had a horrible biting phase about 6 months ago now it is pinching - I look like a heroin addict on my arms!

Beyoglu - it gets so much easier I can't tell you! The girls are most of the time fairly easy to look after (they'll be 11 months on Monday) they play together happily and an leave them pottering around the room while I get bits done, certain things are hard like the hour before bed when they are both whinging tired. And they do fight which is funny tiresome (Ayse is currently sporting a nice tooth shaped tattoo on her shoulder from Edith-may!) but they are starting to talk and parrot and walk along with their walkers and it's just much more enjoyable. Night times are awful but hoping it's just the weather!

Re lunch - ask someone to help you at self service - first couple of times you feel a bit strange but no worse that dropping everything and being stressed! I try of weather is nice to grab lunch and go find a park I sit them on the floor and spread my legs round them so they can't crawl off and feed them.

to everyone having a hard time xx

3 more weeks of work for me!!

[ceeveebee]

Hi all
Sadly no one took a picture of eggy moment, what a wasted opportunity!
twelve lunch is my specialised subject!! I have eaten out with them lots of times usually with friends but often on my own., I tend to go to the same few places as I know I can manage it! Places like Starbucks etc I just ask them to bring the food over for me. Or I park the pram where I can see it and not too far away and then go for the food. Or sometimes I buy sandwiches and then put in bottom of buggy/in handbag rather than on a tray. People are always pretty willing to help.
I always try to feed them less sloppy food when out and about too - things like cheese or tuna sandwiches, sticks of cucumber etc rather than liquid food. And always have my grobag cloth high chairs with me in case the chairs are not suitable

[ceeveebee]

Oh and to whoever asked, yes I am going back to work 3 days a week from 1 October

[TwelveLeggedWalk]

HI CeeVee you're making me feel like a right hermit! Right, that's my mission for the next couple of weeks!

[ceeveebee]

Sorry! I just like to get out and about!! Re outdoor eating I have found it hard to feed both on the floor as DTD sonetimes topple over. I use my cloth high chairs to tie them to a park bench, it's hilarious but does attract a lot of twin chat from strangers!

[TwelveLeggedWalk]

I am ROFLing at the idea of twins strapped to a park bench! Have never tried those fabric high chair things, will see if anyone as one I can borrow I think!

[minesapintofwine]

Just a very quick post but regarding self service. I know it's not possible in Ikea but I tend to get as many little non spill things as I can for me eg, pack of overpriced sandwiches, yoghurt, crisps, drink in bottle with lid. Then I push them all under the hood of the pushchair and eat mine whilst feeding the dts puree/ milk in pushchair. When they can sit at a cafe highchair without me panicking they'll fall out then Ill park the double pushchair at a table in sight of the highchairs whilst I go get them In this time someone will have offered their help though this has not happened once yet! Maybe Im trying to make it look too easy when I should be letting it all rip in the middle of m and s cafe! Is this what you meant? If you get a tray I would def ask one of the staff to carry it or just park pushchair near till if you can then return to till for tray. By which time cafe member will have offered help. Recurring pattern!

(ok so not that quick a post)....

[minesapintofwine]

Oh I do pay for the stuff under the hood but last week I did go into a shop and found a bottle of shampoo under there from another shop

[minesapintofwine]

Oh yeah if you get a tray you have to make sure you can push it along those slidy things all the way to till. Hmm the sheer logistics of pushchairs! (I don't think it's soley a double buggy problem if anything I have extra hood space to hide my stolen goods).

[Lemele]

Yeah that is annoying isn't it, mines - where they have a place for your tray right up until the end of the food and then inexplicably there is a gap between that and the place where you pay, even if they're only a foot or two away...

[beyoglu]

Thanks for all the support guys :) Lemele, I think about the future a lot too! Spend the time at night just after they are fed, thinking about how it will be in say a year's time, or even will they be better at 6 months... my HV said by 8 months it will all look a lot easier and I do know someone with 8 month twins who says the same so I'm hanging in there for that time! At least by then I can look forward to the 1 year mark...

My mother is here just now, leaving tomorrow and can't come a day too soon. She takes offence at any suggestion that she might not be doing things perfectly but still she keeps doing stuff like keeping the babies awake with loud talking to them when I'm about to put them down for a nap, "tidying up" the changing area by moving stuff so I can't find it when I go to change them... she took them out for a walk on Tuesday and DT2 started crying so she fed her the old bottle she'd taken out 2 hours before, so the feed schedule was messed up and DT2 got a bottle that wasn't safe. I know what she's like so I say nothing unless it's going to cause a problem with the girls but even then that's enough to really piss her off. So now she's gone off upstairs to do who knows what because she's taken the hump because - get this - I offered to make her a cup of tea before the girls went to sleep, and I was stupid enough to say that I wanted to do it now before they sleep so now she's all offended because I'm implying that she's an imposition. I'm not! You need to plan your day round the girls, that's how it works. Either make a cup of tea now to enjoy in their nap, or make it when they wake up and you won't get time to drink it. In either case don't make it when they're asleep because they'll wake up (they nap in the kitchen because she has the effing telly on effing antiques programmes from 9am till 6pm.)

I want to try them napping upstairs in their cots, because it's dark up there and we have a white noise machine. But I'm slightly worried that they might start confusing night and day, and once I put DT1 up there and she woke in a bad mood, so I would like to just give it a go and then see. But I can't even do that because she'll go on and on about how I tried to put them down upstairs for their naps but I failed, it didn't work, I was wrong to think it would work etc etc. God I wish my mother in law was here.

[ceeveebee]

Beyoglu it really does get easier. At 3 months I thought my life was over as was so tired, dreading them waking up and really was not enjoying it. Now at 9 months I can honestly say they are a pleasure and I want to spend as much time with them as possible, they are so cute when the start playing with each other and you start getting more sleep

It's a pain having 'help' sometimes. But you must remember they are your babies and it's your house so you might need to be a bit more forceful eg tell her to turn tv off if they usually nap in the living room. And maybe you need to tell her every time she does something that isn't right rather than waiting for a big thing?

Re napping upstairs - I never did it with mine until about 6 months old because they outgrew the travel cot downstairs. But i now give them mornjng nap upstairs and it was a revelation - they sleep so much better. (they went down at 10am and still not a peep at 1140!!), and there hasn't been any day/night confusion so far, they still settle well at night. (Lunchtime nap is always in pram for us as I like to go out)

[beyoglu]

ceeveebee, it's the small things that get her back up! Once when she was emptying out their bath for me I asked her to put the plug back in in case I forget and she went in a slight huff with me for about half an hour! Ho hum annoying grannies, there's one in every family right?

It's comforting to hear how different it is for you at 9 months... most of the time now I feel like I'm not enjoying it exactly, but I do like them being around, and we're together enough to be able to just get the weeks under our belts till they're 6 months. Just if random other things would stop happening! Today is 4 month imms followed by too-hot weather - hoping they will settle tonight but don't have many hopes, we have an aircon in their room but the exhaust goes out the window so you have to leave it open and therefore light. I dread this kind of blooming weather. Still, deep breath, soon it will be September and then they will hit the 5 month mark etc etc... maybe they will sleep all of tomorrow like they did at their first imms...

[rednellie]

beyoglu, sending you much sympathy. Parents 'helping' can the worst thing ever. My MIL is banned from doing anything at all in our house - it's just easier that way, and once we agreed on that she's been able to enjoy the kids more and I can enjoy having her here more. My Mum does do annoying things and her and DH sometimes clashed as the kitchen is both of their domains so when his knives went in a different drawer there were looks, BUT she takes criticism and I can just tell her to eff off if she's being an idiot. I think you should tell your Mum - you're a family in your own right and boss of your own house.

We put the DT's to nap in their cot upstairs. Much much better naps. That's how they learnt to self settle. And it's made no difference to them settling at nights, in fact I'd say they settle better.

mines, what a great description of how to do dining out with twins. We should try and compile more tips like that. My own personal area of speciality is how to get three children out of a house with stairs and into a car, out of car and into a buggy. Oh, and also I'm very good now at restraining a 2 year old mid tantrum in a sling whilst also pushing twins to sleep in a buggy. Go me!

Right, we're flying out of Vancouver tonight. Wish us luck - 10 hour flight followed by 4 hour drive down to Wales here we come. We WILL be that family on the plane. Give me strength.

(And BB3 thanks for the solidarity. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one with an attack dog of a toddler! The doctor actually asked me what the marks on the twins noses were...felt very sheepish)

[minesapintofwine]

red good luck with the flight am sure it will be better than expected. Lol at you being 'that' family we never arrive incospicuously anymore either. Oh and welcome back to Wales (it's pissed down all day btw ).

beyou I thought my mum was bad! At least she will be quiet when babies are sleeping but she won't listen to constructive critiscism either. Good that you have a nice mil though mine is ok I suppose. Don't worry about her giving dt a made up bottle though. Was it freshly made 2 hours before eg sterilised and then made up but not given for 2 hours? If so I have to say I've known a few people to do this if they are out for the day and if I'm being honest VERY BAD MOTHER ALERT I've also done it if I know I'm likely to be somewhere where dts will start yelling and I won't have the time or space to take apart bottle add cartons, add Gaviscon (not now) and shake. Or even if it was one dt had started but not finished 2 hours before I wouldn't be concerned if it was a rare accident. We often split the last feed of day around bathtime but it isn't left as long as 2 hours. Do you make feeds in advance anyway and store in fridge? It isn't recommended but loads do it I couldn't not as long as used within 24 hours (they always are). I think your mum means well but needs a little guidance as other posters say -your home your rules!

Whilst I'm admitting to being a bad mum I am sat here feeling very guilty as have gone down the cc route for daytime naps.

Ohmmm. .

Please hear me out! Rod for my own back dts always slept in bouncers and swings during day but have outgw
rown them now so no option but to nap in cot (not keen on pushchair napping due to small space in house have to fold down every time I come home). Anyway possibly due to the vibrating/rocking effect of bouncers plus GP 'cwtching' to sleep even though I discouraged it due to rod for own back making they have been hard work. At first i would rock dt1 to sleep leaving dt2 to whinge a little and then when he built up I would rock him and their naps became longer. But they became harder and harder to put down until dt2 wouldn't even go down just wanted to be held. Today I started a nap routine shorter version of bedtime but without bath. First nap worked well on dt2 but dt1 was not having it. And neither am I theyre over 6 months now so I did the cc thing (I have been thinking of it long and hard) and he fell asleep after 20 mins they slept for an hour. Second nap was awful as dt1 wouldn't settle. I know it works and they will get there I just have to persist as can't stop it now. I could never have done it before now (too young imo anyway) but now I have willpower of steel, steel I tell you!

Pretty sure I'm going to get kicked off mn for all these bad mother confessions or maybe just this thread......

[skitoo]

I am officially rubbish at keeping up with this thread - sorry.

Red, good luck with flight home! Just remember there's help when you get home .

Mine nap in cots during day and sleep really well there, just rubbish everywhere else - cant win them all eh! They've never been confused with day/night routines, as not in sleepbags and room isn't completely dark. And completely agree with Red in that it's helped them sleep better at night.

Mines, don't think you'll be shot for working on a routine for 2 babies! I've only just worked out that DT2 is happy and pretty good at self settling but he likes to have a little bit of a shout/winge for 4-5 mins to get him there.

Nice to hear all the eating out scenarios, can't say we've done it yet, something else I must brave up to do.

Baileys sounds like you are all doing fantastic. I remember spending hours in the pumping rooms in SCBU but sounds like the little ones will get there real soon.

Waves to everyone else.